we are the wild youth;

chasing visions of our futures, one day we'll reveal the truth.

[fearedliving-blog]

Waving her hand around, Grace shrugged her shoulders.  She was the last person to ever care whether or not someone was drinking, especially when she had been such a bad  influence on Katie to begin with. Still, it was humorous to watch her act as if she was in trouble. Raising a brow as  she finally got to the point, Grace was a bit taken aback.  That wasn’t what she was expecting from the conversation,  and she certainly didn’t know what to do with it. “It’s not like I have any sort of power over you, you know. You can kiss WHOEVER you want. You don’t have to tell me anything.” She told her, keeping her arms crossed over her chest as she continued to stare back at her. She wasn’t going to  allow it to hurt her in any way, nor would she dwell on it after the conversation was over. If she wanted to be with  Joseph or even mess around with him – then she could. And Grace would have NO say in it. 

[gogettermatlin]

Katie took a deep breath. Her head nodded, and words were suddenly hard to come by-- which didn't seem like an oddity as of late. Grace always seemed to leave her speechless in one way or another. In her mind this was supposed to turn out differently-- or MAYBE this had the out she wanted. Regardless, one thing was certain. This now meant more to her than it did the other. “Yeah, well I don't know want to,” she confessed, knowing it wasn't something she'd do soberly. Chances were the following morning she'd backtrack as she always did. “But I get it.” Stepping back, she put some distance between the two of them. Her dignity now damaged. “I should get back to the bonfire before anyone notices I'm gone--” and maybe back to Joseph. “See you at soccer tomorrow.” Perhaps not, after this-- she didn't think she could face Grace. “Or could always skip.” Generally, Katie would  harp on her about doing just that; mostly because she  wanted to see her. 

[fearedliving-blog]

Grace would never admit it, but she could feel her  heart pounding the moment Katie had admitted she wanted to see her. It was somewhat refreshing to her. It seemed that she was always the one constantly doing her best to get Katie out of her comfort zone, and now  here she was, coming here herself. A small laugh spilled from her lips as she crossed her arms over her chest,  placing her fingers at her chin and watching as Katie  told her about her night. “A little?” she questioned,  already shaking her head, knowing that wasn’t the full truth. Her eyes widened slightly at the mention of Joseph, but she told herself not to make a big deal of  it. She couldn’t. Katie wasn’t hers, nor did she even  really WANT her to be. A relationship was messy, and then things like this happened – jealousy. She wasn’t  interested in that. “Does your little boyfriend know that?” she teased, rolling her eyes playfully as she watched Katie. “Are you here for some kind of girl talk now?”

[gogettermatlin]

It was the alcohol, and that ALONE. Or at least, that's what Katie had been telling herself. This particular move was not her norm. Generally, she distanced herself from this sort of thing 'feelings'. For guys it had been one thing. She had no qualms over these emotional standing with whatever Drew OR Jake that waltzed into her life. Grace however was in another category. She was younger. Not by some astronomical number, but still there was an age distance. Hell, she her sister's age AND above all, she was a camper. I was a mess-- but even then, the most glaringly obvious detail was the fact that she was just that-- a SHE. Katie wasn't gay, no. She liked boys; and yet, she'd slept with the younger girl more times than she cared to count at this point. When Joseph had kissed her, she SHOULD have wanted it. He was cute, her age and a boy. And all she could think about was GRACE FUCKING CARDINAL. It was a mess to say the least. “Okay, so I had a few beers,” she shrugged dismissively, “big deal.” Inadvertently, Katie scoffed at the mention of 'girl talk'. “No. I came here because-- when I was kissing him, I was thinking about you. And, it didn't feel right. I know we're not together. But I thought you should know. It didn’t feel  RIGHT.”

[fearedliving-blog]

For once, Grace was actually planning to get a healthy amount of sleep tonight. She wasn’t going to wonder off by herself or taunt Katie into coming out with her – she just wanted to rest. She had just settled into bed  when she heard something bang against the window.  Rolling her eyes, she turned over, ignoring it all. But  then there was ANOTHER. Confused, she sat up in her bed and looked out the window, surprised to see H E R standing there. Without covering up her loose tank and  shorts or even putting on shoes, she quickly moved  outside and over to Katie. If she had come to her, there had to have been something WRONG. It was the only solution she could come up with. “What the hell, Matlin?” she questioned, looking up at her in confusion.

[gogettermatlin]

Sure six beers was nothing to some. And to others it was everything. Regardless, Katie was DRUNK. She was now completely obliterated. She was never the type to wear her heart on her sleeve, but given the state she was in-- how could she not. A smile tugged at her lips as the younger girl peeked up at her. Even as Grace joined her, it hadn't f a l t e r e d in the least. It remained in its perfect stated. “I-I... I wanted to see you, Cardinal,” she retorted, keeping with their surnames. It wasn't often she actually used her name; nor did she expect the other to use hers. “I'm a little drunk...” A little was an understatement, but the beaming grin hadn't dropped. “Joseph kissed me, and I came here tp see you...” In HER mind it made perfect sense.

[gogettermatlin]

One beer. And another. It turned into a six pack before long. She wasn't one to drink. In fact, she  H A T E D it. The whole institution seemed to be cringe-worthy to her. But with everything going on with her mother, she needed to let loose. And the male counselors gave her an o u t. They'd even offered another-- but for whatever reason she didn't feel it was right. It wasn't 'whatever' reason, because now she stood just outside of Grace's cabin. Katie tossed one pebble at the  window just over of her bed. Then she took it upon herself to throw another. Yeah, she knew why it was wrong. One sloppy kiss led her here-- because as the universe would have it, she cared. A whole hell of a lot.

[mspigtails-blog]

Imogen suddenly felt silly for even posing the question, but truthfully, it had been wrecking her brain for so long now. She needed to know whether or not it was the same for Katie as it was for Imogen. Truthfully, she wasn’t sure if she was okay in the moment, but that was all because her nerves had gotten the best of her. Looking back on it now, the thought still made her heart race. “I–” she began, but instead, she only giggled. That was certainly a compliment she had never received before, nor had she ever expected to – especially after her first time. Shooting a quick look at her, her eyes widened. “Wait, you mean, you’re a virgin? Or – were?” Completely oblivious to what Katie actually meant, she was almost too excited about the idea that she and Katie shared that together. Of course, she was completely missing something. 

[gogettermatlin]

“Wait, what...” Katie stammered out, her own eyes widening. The other girl's obvious excitement caused an internal twisting. She couldn't bring herself to disappoint her. “I-I.. yeah, I mean-- yeah,” she lied, internally slapping herself. It was only a white lie, but still one no less. “First time...” She grabbed at a smile and her gaze averted to the floor. “So uh... how was I,” Katie blurted, genuinely curious as to how it had been. She may not have been a virgin as she'd just said, or implied rather, but it had been her first time with a girl. The logistics of it wasn't lost on her. Nevertheless she doubted herself.

[gogettermatlin]

insufferable 📨

Grace: Bug spray. Isn't that what you're supposed to be teaching me?

Katie: You're insufferable. I was a little preoccupied with things the other night.

[gogettermatlin]

insufferable 📨

Grace: Itchy? You sure you're okay?

Katie: Funny, yes I'm fine. It's just mosquito bites.

[gogettermatlin]

insufferable 📨

Grace: What, are you getting sick of the lake?

Katie: Not sick of it. I'm just itchy.

[gogettermatlin]

insufferable 📨

Grace: Something tells me you don't mind. Yeah.

Grace: I'll be waiting.

Katie: Not entirely. The showers are free...

[mspigtails-blog]

Hearing that Katie was in the same position as her put her at ease – but only slightly. This was all still so new and confusing to her that she didn’t know what to do with those feelings, especially the ones that somehow made it hard to breathe whenever she was this close to Katie.  “Well, we can be bad together?” she offered with a small smile, barely holding her breath as she continued to pray that Katie would make the move. If that were the case, she could handle the rest. Just maybe. Her body remained still as Katie leaned in to her, only moving her lips against Katie’s for the first few moments until she got the nerve to place her hand on the other girl’s thigh. It seemed like a safe enough place to venture. Breaking the kiss quickly, she looked back at Katie now. “What we did that night..” she began in a soft voice, “Were you okay?”

[gogettermatlin]

Much to her dismay, Katie's breath caught n the back of her throat. Hardly anything at all, and she was on edge. Though, Katie knew it wasn't really nothing. Regardless of what they'd both just disclosed, she'd always known Imogen was a bit more shy with certain things. “-- yeah, I was.” Unsure of what Imogen was getting at, her brows furrowed. “You were-- incredible. I mean it was... ” she gave earnestly. And if she wanted to again, Katie would be more than susceptible. Only this time she lacked the courage to go there herself. “That was definitely a first for me,” she rambled, suddenly feeling anxious.

[gogettermatlin]

insufferable 📨

Grace: No, I'm busy hanging out with all my friends. Kidding. Yeah, I could be up for it.

Grace: What, that's all it took?

Katie: You're an asshole, Cardinal. /Are/ you up for it?

Katie: I'll get back to you when I know the answer to that.

[gogettermatlin]

insufferable 📨

Grace: Of course it's not. I wanted to see you.

Grace: But am I wrong?

Katie: Any chance that means you want to see now? I could use a distaction.

Katie: No, you're not. Especially after the other night.

[gogettermatlin]

insufferable 📨

Grace: Seriously, it's fine. It's not like I had anything else to do.

Grace: I always knew you didn't.

Katie: And that's the only reason you did it?

Katie: You're way too up yourself, Cardinal.

[gogettermatlin]

insufferable 📨

Katie: In case I didn't say it enough, thank you for the other night. You didn't have to be there, and you were. You're still kind of obnoxious though.

Katie: But I don't mind so much.

[mspigtails-blog]

Everything seemed so silent as Imogen sat next to Katie, her hand in hers. She had no idea what to expect from this conversation. Her head tilted down as Katie said she was glad she was the reason – there was plenty more she could explain, but she knew now probably wasn’t the time. “My whole body is tingling and I feel funny and–” Her words were running together as she tried to quickly ramble through it all, as if that would somehow put her at ease. Realizing her entire face was a shade of red, she looked back at Katie and shrugged her shoulders. “What do you think, goofball?” she questioned, a small smile forming on her lips now. “Of course I do. I’m just – I’m not goo at making those kinda moves. It’s scary.” 

[gogettermatlin]

Katie found the whole rambling thing endearing. Her brows raised a smidgen, and a faint grin became apparent. “Me, too,” she confessed, mentally kicking herself for giving Imogen that much. The less she knew, the more power Katie possessed for herself. It was simple enough. “Goofball,” she repeated, not at bothered-- just surprised. It was hardly a name others would use for her. Nodding her head, she understood. Generally when there was a 'move' to be made, she was under the influence of something-- mostly Oxycontin. “I'm not really the greatest either,” Katie whispered, suddenly wishing she'd gotten high. Her nerves would have subsided, and her lips would already be on Imogen's. Despite her hands being shaky, Katie reached out-- catching the nape of her neck. Blue orbs flicker between their darker counterpart and the soft awaiting mouth of her former friend. Imogen's name surfaced just as she closed the remaining distance between them.

[mspigtails-blog]

Part of Imogen almost wished that Katie would fight her on it, that she would tell her she was wrong and that ‘friends’ is exactly what they should be, but of course, that wasn’t likely. Even for a wishful dreamer like Imogen, she knew better. Things would never be like they once were, not even close. She sat up a bit, listening closely to what Katie was trying to make sense of to herself. It was clear that she had been wrecking her brain trying to figure this out recently, but she hadn’t seemed to come to a conclusion. That was okay – this kind of thing wasn’t simple to come by at all. Imogen herself knew how true that was. Moving her free hand to the back of her neck, she rubbed it, thinking it over for a moment. “And I…” she began, taking a deep breath as she stared back at her. “…I don’t even know the answer to all of that, not even for myself. But I do know that you’re the reason I even thought there was more to this than just.. boys and girls together. If I didn’t kiss you that day, I don’t know where I’d be. And if I didn’t kiss you the other day, then.. I’d still be wishing I had.”

[gogettermatlin]

Furrowing her brows, a wave of confusion engulfed her-- making her its hostage. Just as everyone else, Katie had merely assumed that Imogen was gay. Unless that's not what she'd meant, in which case, she was still baffled. Regardless, it was impossible to not be incredibly flattered. Still, she offered her hand a gentle squeeze. Katie always knew the right things to say; except when it truly mattered. “I like being the reason,” she admitted in a small voice. Both from an emergence of want and minute nervousness, she caught the edges of her lips between her teeth. “Does that mean you still want to-- now?” Because Katie really wanted to kiss her; even if it meant only bringing them further disorder and uncertainty.

[inperpetualreverie]

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