My MC Abaddon may be a bully, but he still wants to show off his favorite pet Mr. Puff to his classmates.
Please forgive him, he just doesn't know how to make friends.
@ghastlykoii suggested a Pre-Valentines Day scenario for Amit, a few weeks ago and I finally got inspired to write something for it!
Rating: 18+ for insinuations
Summary: MC loathes Valentine's Day because she's lonely and desperately in love with her best friend. For two Ravenclaws they sure are dumb.
Pairing: Amit Thakkar x F!MC
Word Count: 4,329 (LOL)
A/N: Aged up characters (seventh year at Hogwarts), broody MC, Sebastian Sallow cameo!
MC had half a mind to simply lock herself in her dorm room, bed curtains tightly closed for all hours of the day until the fifteenth of February.
Perhaps she could convince her professors she had come down with a terrible case of spattergroit and simply did not wish to be seen by anyone. It seemed like a reasonable enough excuse, though the more she thought about it on her walk to History Of Magic, she realized they would probably have her whisked away to the hospital wing where Madam Blainey would see by her clear complexion and ability to speak that she definitively did not have spattergroit.
She grunted against the door of the classroom, rolling her eyes at Adelaide and Evangeline who were giggling around a bit of parchment when she entered, scowling at the little hearts they were taking turns drawing along the edges.
It wasn’t that she hated romance or love in general, but the sudden public displays of it this time of year were starting to grate on her already frayed nerves under the stress of her NEWTS. It had absolutely nothing to do with the longing she held for her best friend, who was sitting in his usual spot in the classroom. His schoolbag tucked into the chair at his side, for her, his body curled over a book laid on the table.
MC gave Amit a halfhearted grunt as a greeting as she slumped into her chair, resting her head on the table. Half hoping that if she licked the dirty surface beneath her face she really could contract spattergroit. Surely it would be better than having to suffer hormonal teenagers groping one another in the corridors of a school.
Amit’s laugh as he shoved her shoulder with his own had her turning her head to look up at him. Her heart performing an involuntary somersault at the amusement in his kind eyes.
He pressed a finger against her forehead, pushing her gently, eyebrow quirked.
“You alright, MC? You seem… upset. Not that it’s a bad thing or that I’m upset by you being upset. It’s okay to be upset. But you can talk to me if you are.”
MC laughed softly, with her cheek still resting on the table, letting Amit run out of breath.
“I just hate Valentine’s Day. Makes me want to toss myself off the Astronomy tower. I swear if I see one more pink heart or one more couple practically fornicating in the corridors I’m going to do so.”
Amit stifled a laugh of his own, rolling his eyes at his best friend's favorite threat against her own life at every minor inconvenience that befalls her.
“Well then, you might want to keep your head down because Andrew Larson and Lenora Everleigh are…” His face fills with a blush and contorts into something crossed between curiosity and disgust, his gaze somewhere behind her head. “… probably better off skipping class altogether and finding a broom cupboard.”
MC whips her head around, curiosity getting the better of her. She indeed witnesses Andrew pressing Lenora against the wall of the classroom, shoving his tongue down her throat.
She turns back to Amit, her eyes rolling so far into her skull she thinks she may sprain something.
Amit just laughs at her, his face now back to normal with his eyes back on his desk.
“I told you not to look, to be fair.”
“But you knew I would!”
“Astronomy towers that way.” His finger pointing absentmindedly in a random direction, a smile still tugging at the corners of his lips. When she made a move to stand, he pulled her back down by the sleeve of her robe.
“Stop that, it’s not that bad, really. They’re just in…love.” His eyes were soft, almost pleading when he met her gaze. “You should let them enjoy it.”
“They’re not in love, Amit. They’re hormonal and I’m not stopping them from their attempts to contract every venereal disease possible, I’m simply stopping myself from having to witness it.” She knew she sounded bitter, lonely even. Though she couldn’t help it much, and she was saved from Amit’s further lecture by Professor Binns’ own.
Despite every other student getting to catch up on their sleep during this particular class, She was forced to stay awake alongside Amit. If she dared even blink for too long, he would pinch her beneath the table. He couldn’t force her to pay attention to the droning of their paranormal professor, however, so she entertained herself with thoughts of how best to avoid actually existing in the school for at least the next several days.
She was working her way through a delicious scenario involving being dragged to the bottom of the Black Lake by a pack of vicious grindylows when a piece of parchment smacked her square in the forehead. She scowled at Amit, assuming it was his feeble attempt to pull her back to the dissolution of the wizards council, but he was staring straight ahead, taking his usual notes.
She frowned and picked up the parchment, but before she could unfold it, her attention was drawn to the table ahead of her, where she was being psst at.
Adelaide Oakes was staring at her with a wide eyed look and a red face as she frantically pointed at Amit, while Evangeline giggled beside her. MC bristled, mind going back to the parchment the two Hufflepuffs had been fawning over when she had entered the classroom.
She contemplated walking up and shoving it down her peppy little throat. Instead, she slid it over to Amit and tapped his arm to point it out. Feeling a bit satisfied when he glowered at it before shoving it into the pocket of his robes. Losing a bit of that satisfaction when he hissed at her for writing him notes during class, when she should be paying attention.
MC had to take a deep breath to avoid setting fire to the classroom.
“It wasn’t me, Amit. I-” She was about to tell him that if she had a mind to declare her love for him she’d do it in person, not in a damned note like a lovesick third year. Then she realized she did love him and had no mind to do any such thing. The fear of losing his friendship, greater than the desires of her heart. “Well, aren’t you going to read it? Then you’ll know it wasn’t me.”
Amit waved her off, and she let him. If only because she recognized the growing look of irritation on his face at missing the lecture. MC really did try not to take pleasure in the way Adelaide’s face fell when she watched the receiver of her wretched little note shove it into his pocket with a scowl, but she was only human and she bit back her smile as she returned to daydreams of a different kind. Ones much less morbid, and a bit more on theme for the tone of the castle these days.
When class was dismissed, Amit had to rouse her from her fantasies with a pinch to her arm and a chastising look. She followed him out the doors with a grumble, nearly having forgotten the note until Amit pulled her into a corner, his hand fishing into his robe pocket and pelting her with questions.
MC stomach twisted with anxious nausea as he retrieved the parchment, after she explained what she had seen, his hands shaking and face flushed.
She recoiled when he thrust it at her.
“What?! No! It’s for you!”
“I can’t do it, MC. Please.”
She softened, just for him and the desperation in his eyes, and took the note between her thumb and forefinger. He pulled it back before she could take it from his hand.
“No! You're right, I should read it. I should do it, she wrote it to me.” His shaking hands held the parchment, while his thumbs ran anxious circles over it. “Who wrote it? Adelaide or Evangeline?”
“Do you have a preference?” MC’s tone was laced with more venom than she had intended, and she winced at herself. The fall from the Astronomy Tower was sounding more and more ideal, as she watched the man she loved look so giddy at the prospect of two girls suddenly showing interest in him. As if the girl standing in front of him hadn’t been devoted to him since their very first astronomy class, back in fifth year.
She took a deep breath, attempting to fight back the angry green monster rearing its ugly head. She could reconcile her annoyance with either Adelaide or Evangeline, but the guilt of snapping at her favorite person in the world had her taking another deep, steadying breath.
“I just mean, I wasn’t aware you were interested in either of them. You’ve never… told me.” It felt like it was taking everything inside of her to act natural, to not betray the lump in her throat or the queasiness of her stomach.
“Adelaide’s nice! She’s really nice, did you know her Uncle works with goblins? He’s a metal trader! Oh and Evangeline loves history, she and I bump into each other a lot in the library. We share book recommendations with each other. Do you… do you know anything else about her? I know she helped you restore the bells for the school.”
MC had to bite back her retort of how Evangeline did not help with anything. How she had sent her up with nothing but the knowledge that bells had to be restored. It had taken her 45 minutes to get the bells to do what she wanted, in the furnace that was the music room.
Instead, she took another deep breath.
“Why don’t you just read the note, Amit. Then you can decide who your future wife is.”
This time, she managed to keep the bile down where it belonged, and her voice teasing in lieu of malicious.
“It’s just a note, MC it could be… it could just be her asking for my help with Astronomy or… or maybe she wants to borrow my notes…” He has finally begun to unfold the note, and MC let’s herself believe Amit’s innocent attempts to guard himself against the hope of someone crushing on him. MC knows better, she saw the blushing girls’ faces and heard their giggles. But the flicker of hope was enough to keep her from lighting the parchment aflame with her gaze alone.
The thirty seconds it takes Amit to open the note, and read its contents feels like hours. His face blushes a deep red, and he’s got a smile on his lips that MC has only seen in rare circumstances of extreme happiness. She wants to use her own skull as a battering ram against the stone wall.
“Well?” Her patience was running thin, and her skin was prickling with anxiety and pathetic pining.
“Adelaide! It … it was Adelaide! She… she wants to know if I’ll be her Valentine. I.. I think that would be nice.. having somewhere to go with someone … she’s nice and.. and she’s cute don’t you think? MC?” Amit was staring at her, expecting input from his best friend, who at the moment was currently fighting tears or vomit, she was still trying to decide when he said her name again.
She shook herself out, taking yet another deep shaky breath.
“If that’s what you want, Amit.”
She meets his gaze, and he seems to falter. His mouth opening and closing in silence before he drops her gaze, looking back at the note still laying in his hand.
“Yeah… I think it is. I think it will be nice. And fun! It’s just one day right? It doesn’t hurt to explore it! I’m going… I’m going to go find her and .. and set something up.”
He slides the note into his pocket, and walks away, feet moving quickly to try and catch up to the two girls who had left the hall arm in arm. Leaving MC standing alone, still feeling a bit sick.
She nurses her broken heart alongside Sebastian, who had taken minimal convincing to skip Potions class to sling curses in the Undercroft.
It doesn’t take him long to pick up on her agitation, when he has to repair the dummy they nicked off of Lucan, after she had casted a particularly powerful bombarda.
When the dummy is as good as new, he turns to meet her unapologetic gaze.
“Alright, what’s got you so pissed off?” He stands between her and the dummy, arms crossed in front of his chest. She’s equally irritated and grateful for how well he knows her.
MC feels herself deflate, feeling safe enough to be vulnerable with the man she sees as a brother, here in their little sanctuary.
“Can’t I just be pissed off for no good reason?” His amused smirk at her response eases her nerves even further. That, coupled with the exhaustion from their spell practice has her dragging her feet to a crate and slumping on to it. “… I just hate Valentine’s Day. I hate seeing all of these vile couples and their disgusting love and their awful public displays of affection. It’s as if someone has gassed the castle with amortentia.”
Sebastian joins her, his knee knocking against hers playfully as he sits beside her.
“Are you jaded, MC? You’re sounding quite jaded.”
When she shoots him a glare, he doesn’t miss a beat. “Lonely, then?”
When she visibly tenses, he lets out a small laugh, his face still kind and concerned despite the humor he finds in seeing his friend in such a state. MC considers switching targets for her spell practice.
“MC, I could point my finger at any man in this castle and they’d fall head over heels at the chance to take you out.”
She scrunches her nose at the notion, rolling her eyes as she stares at the stone floor of the Undercroft.
“Well, I don’t want just any man. I’m not just going to throw myself at anything with a pulse.” She meets his gaze, and continues on. “I may have my eye on a specific man…” She trails off, balking slightly in the face of her confession. When Sebastian’s eyes widen, and he runs his hand over the back of his neck, uncomfortably she stares at him in confusion.
“MC… I’m flattered, really. But… I see you as more of a sister… and I’m with Poppy.”
MC sputters, fighting back the urge to vomit on the floor at the thought.
“Gods, no, not you!” She throws in a gag and a look of disgust for good measure, clearly his ego could use the blow. “You're like a brother to me.”
The awkward tension immediately dissolves with their shared laughter and MC feels herself feeling lighter, braver.
“It’s…Merlin, I’ve never admitted it out loud before.” She takes another deep breath, and stares at the floor. Her head filling with her dark haired Ravenclaw, his kind eyes. His passion for knowledge. His ability to love unconditionally anyone or anything he deems worthy.
“ItsAmit.” She admits it quickly, like pulling a sliver. Her eyes unwavering in their gaze on the floor. She can feel her cheeks heat in a blush, she doesn’t have to look in a mirror to know that her face is crimson red.
“Oh. That makes sense… So tell him, ask him out for Valentine's Day.” Sebastian’s knee knocking against hers was meant to be comforting, yet she still wrinkled her nose at the suggestion.
“First of all, ew. Second of all, I can’t… he’s going out with Adelaide Oakes.” MC cannot hold back the venom in her tone at the name of the girl she’s seething with jealousy towards.
When Sebastian is silent, she glares at him. He looks deep in thought, staring at the floor. She punches his shoulder, perhaps a bit harder than necessary to draw his attention back to her and her self pity.
His face immediately splits into a cheeky grin, mischief flashing in his eyes as he turns back towards her.
“Sorry, was just thinking about them as a couple. It’s cute. They have my blessing.”
MC punches him again, this time definitely harder than necessary. He clutches the injured spot on his arm with a loud laugh.
“Right. Sorry. I’m meant to be comforting aren’t I?”
When MC continues staring at him in disbelief he laughs again, punching her shoulder back. As gently as he can.
“I think you should tell him. What, Are you scared?”
They both know that he’s teasing her, but when she grimaces at the question, he lets out a soft oh. Then collects himself, rubbing her shoulder in an awkward attempt at comforting her. He’s grateful when she shrugs him off. They’re close, like family, but physical affection between the two friends was rare at best.
“Not scared of telling him, not really anyway… but scared of losing what we have. He’s my best friend, Sebastian. I don’t know if I could live with myself if we lost that. Our connection, our comfort with one another.” She sounds exasperated, like she’s stuck between a rock and a hard place. She ignores Sebastian feigning hurt at the enunciation she had made at the words best friends, his hand held over his heart. “I just feel as though it’s not worth the risk. I’ll just have to find a way to live with feeling this way about him.”
Sebastian heaves a sigh, his hands running through his hair, evidence of his concentration.
“You’re sure it’s not just a fleeting feeling? The season clouding your judgement?” His hands waving softly in the air. “Hormones?”
MC heaves a sigh of her own, and when she meets Sebastian’s gaze once again, her eyes are wet with tears of longing.
“No, Sebastian. I wish it was fleeting. I feel like I’m walking around with my heart in a vice. I love him. I’m in love with him, and I think I have been since I met him.” She hates the way she sounds, desperately pining after her best friend. The regret of not acting on her love for him months ago, making her chest constrict, bringing bile into her throat. She wipes her eyes with the sleeve of her uniform, tears now falling freely at sitting in her regret, her desire.
Gratitude finding its way into the compounding emotions she was being overtaken by, when Sebastian turns away. Pretending to be interested in the tower of discarded furniture in the corner. She’s thankful for his small act of mercy.
“Do you want advice? Or do you just want to wallow?” His voice is soft, through the chastising tone. They both know this isn’t her, always having been the girl to face every challenge, every obstacle, with her head held high.
She manages a small laugh, wiping away the last of her traitorous tears.
“We both know you’re going to say what you want to say anyway.”
He makes a sound of agreement, deep in his throat before he turns to her. His hands rolling his wand between them.
“I know you, and I know Amit, thanks to you. I think you should tell him. Even if” He holds his hand in her face when she opens her mouth to object. “Even if the feelings aren’t reciprocated. The two of you would get through it. Don’t think either one of you would much like to be without the other, in any capacity.”
~*~
Back up in the Ravenclaw common room, Sebastian’s words are still ringing in her head as MC stares at the ceiling from the couch she had claimed for the past few hours. Quite literally lying in wait for Amit to come back from the library.
Every sound near the door had her ears perked up, eyes moving towards it like a dog waiting for the return of its owner. She felt downright silly, but her mind could be occupied by nothing else but the proclamation of love she was about to bestow on her best friend.
Sebastian had promised her a raid of the kitchens for cauldron cakes and ice cream if it went downhill. She was clinging to that promise like an anchor in the sea of anxiety she now found herself in.
Just as she was about to round on some poor second year to beg him to double check that Amit wasn’t actually in his dorm. He walked through the door, arms laden with books and a look of contentment on his face.
She lurched from the couch immediately, putting herself between him and the dormitory stairs.
“Can we talk?”
~*~
Minutes later they stood in the cold night, wrapped in a warming charm above the Ravenclaw Common Room.
MC was pacing, her eyes on the toes of her boots, while Amit's eyes followed her, anxiety written into his features at the behavior of his best friend.
Her stomach was tied up in knots, and she had to continually take deep steadying breaths to stop from hurling herself over the railing and falling to her demise.
Sebastian’s words are still ringing in her head.
The two of you will get through it.
Neither one of you would much like to be without the other.
They spurred her on. She turned on her heel one last time, before facing Amit.
He stood up straight under her gaze.
“MC wha-”
She cut him off with a shake of her head and another deep breath.
“No, I’m sorry. I just need to get this out before I lose my courage. Please.” She wondered for a moment which she’d prefer. Facing Ranrok beneath the castle again, or facing a potential rejection from her best friend when she confesses her love for him, above it.
Amit nodded slowly, his voice caught in his throat, unsure of how to comfort the girl in front of him when he wasn’t being allowed to speak. He opted for a comforting hand on her shoulder, to which filled her face with a blush and she resisted the urge to lean into it.
She held her hands up in front of her body, nearly touching Amit’s chest.
“Okay. I’m not really one for dramatic speeches or reciting love poems or even drawing pathetic little hearts on bits of parchment and tossing them onto your coursework. But I need to get it off of my chest, and I know this is the worst possible fucking time, and could potentially ruin our entire friendship and sully every memory we’ve ever made together…” She takes another deep breath, her eyes shut tight to avoid watching Amit’s reaction to her rambling confession. “... What I'm trying to say, in a very long winded way is that… I’m in love with you. Have been in love with you, and I’m sorry.”
When it feels like far too many minutes have passed and Amit still hasn’t said a word, she risks opening her eyes. Finding him staring into hers, eyes wet with tears and face bathed in the soft light of the moon.
“Do…Do you mean it?” His voice is soft, she wouldn’t have heard him if it wasn’t for the silent night around them.
She’s taken aback by the question and she takes yet another risk, taking his hands in hers.
“Of course I mean it, I wouldn’t lie or joke about something like this, Amit.”
He sniffs, pulling his hands back to wipe his eyes before running them down his face. His voice jumbled when he speaks from behind them.
“I love you too.”
She’s sure she’s hallucinating, grabbing his hands again to make him look at her.
“Say… Say it again.”
He gives her another soft smile, scoffing just a bit before he squeezes the hands that are still entwined with hers.
“I love you too.”
Despite the euphoria slowly growing inside of her, she can’t help her mischievous smirk. Slowly starting to feel like herself again, feeling comfortable and safe with him again.
“Do you mean it?”
He laughs softly, rolling his eyes.
Then he kisses her.
His hands drop hers, and he cups her face, cold fingers sliding themselves into her hair as he presses his lips against hers. She makes a soft sound of surprise, before she melts into it. Her own hands clutching his robes as he leans into her, making her dizzy.
When they pull apart, they’re both a bit dazed, smiles on both their faces, excitement buzzing between them.
MC breaks the comfortable silence first, fingers still curled into the fabric of his robes as she stares into his eyes.
“So what now?”
~*~
Amit had tracked down Adelaide first thing the next morning, full of apologies and explanations. I’m in love with someone else. She had taken it gracefully, making MC feel nauseatingly guilty at the animosity she had held for the girl only days before, and it hadn’t taken long for her and the rest of the castle to pick up on the differences in the way the two Ravenclaws now carried themselves through the halls. Fingers laced together, blushing faces and disappearances into the restricted section when they were meant to be studying in the library.
February 14th finally arrives.
It’s just after midnight when MC manages to catch a glimpse of the clock on Amit’s end table, through the crack in the bed curtains that were pulled tightly shut.
She’s curled against Amit's body, in his bed, in his dorm. Her clothes lost somewhere in the blankets, having been long forgotten when her boyfriend had slid them from her body in the heat of the night, and the soft sounds of Amit’s heartbeat where she lay against his chest, were like a lullaby pulling her with him to sleep.
It was in this moment that MC decides she really doesn’t mind Valentine’s Day.
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