...then suddenly you want to get out of bed more than you want to stay in it. You see the sun shining in the morning and think 'maybe I'll take a bike ride then read outside for awhile' instead of staying inside staring at your phone. You realize that you brush your teeth, do your skincare routine, and generally take care of yourself every day. Showering isn't a chore anymore and you don't spend an hour dissociating in the hot water. You actually want to move your body and start exercising again. You stop isolating and start talking to and seeing loved ones. You start smiling when you look in the mirror instead of avoiding the mirror entirely. Your appetite comes back. You stop being so critical of yourself and start accepting yourself as you are. Your old hobbies interest you again and you find yourself intrigued by some new ones.
Sometimes it feels like you're going to be in that dark place forever. Then suddenly, you realize, you're not... and you can finally see the light again
To make a long story short, I’m sick. From the moment I woke up this morning, sandwiched between my boyfriend and his cat, I felt terrible, and it only got worse as the day went on.
My boyfriend stepped in and put me in my place—in the best way possible. He took my keys, telling me I wasn’t in good enough shape to drive home, which was 100% true. But being the fiercely independent, parentified child that I’ve always been, it wasn’t easy to accept.
He went to the store and got everything I needed, cooked for me, rubbed my back and every other spot that ached, gave me medicine, and checked on me every hour. He even gave up his bedroom so I could rest comfortably.
He told me he was honored to take care of me and wouldn’t let me lift a single finger. Never in my life have I been treated this way. By now, most people around me would have been frustrated or upset that I was sick and needed help. But he didn’t hesitate. I’m so thankful for him.
I’ve never been taken care of like this before. I can feel his love every time he rubs my back or gives me medicine. It makes me want to cry because I never thought another human being could be so gentle and caring toward me. As a parentified daughter, being treated with this kind of tenderness feels like something I never knew I deserved.
I haven't been on here in so long! Life has been well life. I got let go of my job in September, took a month off. I start a new job Monday! What a blessing. I'm honestly excited. It was awful working somewhere that I clearly wasn't wanted. A new start is good 😊
My boyfriend and I are doing good! He gave me a promise ring 😭 at our special spot while eating a little picnic. My mental health is good! Antidepressants and anti anxiety medication has really helped me. I feel normal and grounded.
I think I may stop writing on my writing blog. I haven't had time and I think I'm out of my fanfiction phase, who knows 🤷🏾♀️ but right now it's not a passion of mine.
I have so many other things that I'm excited about. I just wanted to check in. I hope all of y'all are doing well 💛
♡ Inspired by this ask game and this ask I recently received.
♡ Jack Reacher & Black OC/Reader + Captain Syverson x Black OC/Reader
- if you’re familiar with my captain syverson works, cousin jack is officially a character in the shug universe. I can’t promise I’ll be writing many crossovers, but I have reacher going on adventures of his own in the works!
if you’re not familiar with my shug series, it’s not mandatory you read it to understand this little blurb but if you love reacher, here ya go!
-
“I’ve been sitting over there for about five minutes mulling over how the hell no one’s walked up and tried to talk to you yet.”
At first you don’t respond simply because you weren’t aware that sickeningly smooth, saccharine sweet voice was directed towards you.
“And now that I’m up close I can see why,” he continued and made his presence unmistakably known by sitting at the bar stool beside you and delivering the slightest of glances all along your body. “You’re too pretty to be in a shithole like this and everyone knows it, so why try?”
Your head whipped around to the direction of the voice and your breath momentarily was stolen straight from your lungs when you beheld its owner.
This motherfucker.
He was taller than any one in the bar. Rarely ever did you come across green eyes, and his were almost too kind for his rugged appearance.
You blinked to assure he was real before flashing an involuntarily giddy smile.
“Are you talking to me?”
“No, I was just practicing before I approached him.” The man pointed to a random drunk nursing a half empty pint on the other end of the bar, eliciting a delighted giggle out of you.
“Okay, that was good,” you admitted, shaking your head.
“So, I’m doing alright so far,” he said, eyes subtly tracking you once again. Resisting the shiver up your spine, you return the favor.
This man was fine. Like, other worldly fine and by his logic, far too fine for this bar. Uppity pretty boys were your type but you’ve made the exception once — this guy was no different. But he was oddly familiar in a way that you can’t help indulging.
“Good with what?” you asked.
“Getting you to like me,” he answered with what could be confused with a shy grin. “Like I said, no one’s tried yet so might as well.”
“Is that why you came to talk to me?” Your eyebrow quirked upward. “‘Cus no one else has?”
“I waited for as long as I could. Thought maybe I could hold off and watch you reject some poor unfortunate soul so I can gauge how bad you rejecting me will hurt.”
You nodded, considering his words. That was irritatingly smooth.
“Then I thought if I wait too long, someone else will go for it, get the girl and then I’ll have to mope about it all night wishing I would’ve just walked up and said hi.”
“That’s sweet,” you told him, glancing downward to avoid the hypnotizing nature in which his soft eyes watched you. “My teeth are rotting.”
“So, I'm not making a total ass of myself?”
You shook your head. “What’s your name?”
“Reacher.”
Your lip involuntarily curled upward. “Reacher?”
“Yeah.”
“Your mama spent nine months cooking you in the womb, went through hours of labor to bring you into this godforsaken world, looked at your lil’ scrunched up infant face and picked Reacher?”
“Something like that.”
You blinked. “I got dumbass written on my forehead?”
The man, Reacher, laughed aloud and shook his head. “Okay,” he says as his hands go up in mock surrender. “You got me.”
“Wasn’t much of a challenge,” you teased.
“Reacher is the last name — it’s just what I go by.”
“Friends and family call you that, too?”
He nodded and you returned the gesture in understanding. This conversation was all too familiar.
“You Texan men are so secretive,” you say. “There’s no harm in telling a girl at the bar your name.”
“Isn't there?” he asked sarcastically. “You could be an undercover operative sent to pull top state secrets outta me.”
“You came up to me,” you reminded him and his eyes followed the subtle gesture up and down the mini skirt and crop top snug against your curves. “And I wouldn’t even have anywhere to hide my gun.”
Caught up in the exposed parts of your statuesque frame, Reacher barely noticed you covering your mouth to shield the flush of your cheeks and wide grin.
“So,” you said after a moment and his attention flitted back up to your face. “I take it you’re military.”
“That obvious?”
“Why else would I need to pull state secrets outta you?”
He laughed. “Yeah, huh.”
“What branch?”
“Army.”
You perked up at the sound of that. “Really?”
“You seem surprised.”
“I guess I figured.” The build, the smooth responses, the handsome face — based on your own experiences, it all screamed Army. “You’re on leave?”
He nodded.
“Hmmm…” you hummed in thought. “No offense but there's better places in town to spend your days off. I get that this place has a certain charm to you locals and I’m fond of it for a few reasons, but wouldn’t you rather be at, like, a rodeo or a strip club?”
“I’m actually not a local,” he corrected. “Just passing through and visiting family.”
“I hope your family took you somewhere more fun than this.”
“This is fun.”
You snickered and shook your head. “Hardly.”
“No, seriously. Got me a beer and a pretty woman to talk to. Not much more than that is needed, is it?”
You couldn’t argue that. “So, where in Texas you from if not Crowley?”
“I’m actually not from here at all,” Reacher explained. “Or the United States for that matter. Dad was military and was stationed in Berlin when Mom had me.”
“Oh, really? The rest of your family’s from here?”
“Mother’s side. She was born and raised in France, but she’s got half siblings. We’d fly over and visit every summer when Dad was overseas. Some of ‘em are in New York, some in Pittsburgh—”
“Really?” Your grin extended to a full blown beam stretching from ear to ear. “My dad’s from Pittsburg, but I’m from Philly.”
“Yeah, you don’t exactly have that twang when you talk so I figured you’re not from here.” His smile grew fond the longer he watched you watch him. “Guess I could ask why you’re here, too. We’re a long way from Philly.”
“Guess I just kinda ended up here and never went home,” you told him with a nonchalant shrug.
“I’m sure home misses you, no?”
You brushed it off with a wave, glancing towards the front door and deflating in defeat when the patron walking through wasn’t who you were looking for.
“Wouldn’t count on it,” you answered. “I’m sure your peoples was happy to see you, Reacher.”
“Haven’t seen ‘em yet,” he said, following your focus to the door and then behind him, searching just as you were.
“So your first stop was a bar?”
“Supposed to be meeting my cousin and his girl here,” he said. “Haven’t seen the bastard in years and I’ve got some time off. He’s been on and on about this girl for months now and I guess they’re at the meet-the-family stage.”
“Hmmm,” you utter. “Interesting phase to be in. I recently met my man’s family.”
Reacher’s expression shifted into the ghost of annoyance before neutralizing. You scoffed to yourself and leveled him with a polite smile.
“You seemed too good to be true,” he replied with a laugh of his own. “It’s no offense to your boyfriend though but there’s no way in hell I’d leave you all alone in a place like this.”
“I can take care of myself.”
“I don’t doubt it, but any old creep could come up to you.”
“And what’s the difference between you and them?”
Reacher smirked and fixed his gaze elsewhere. “Guess I just needed someone to talk to while I waited and you’re the only friendly face in here.”
“Same,” you agreed, nodding. “My man’s on his way back. He had to run a last minute favor for a friend but we’re actually meeting his cousin tonight, too. They don’t see each other as often ‘cus of work but they’re close.”
“Yeah, me and mine are pretty close, too. Practically brothers. Got into every bit of trouble boys could get into when we were young,” Reacher recalls fondly. “He’s a good guy but I feel bad for his girl.”
“Why?”
“She’s gotta put up with him.”
You giggled. “I’m sure he’s not that bad.”
“He used to be a bit of a dog, but that’d be an insult to a dog,” Reacher joked, shaking his head. “I’m kidding but I can’t say I’m much better. I did try to make a move on you and I still can’t help trying even knowing you’re taken.”
If you were less of a woman, you would’ve taken this man up on his covert offer and fucked his brains out behind a locked bathroom door, relationship be damned. He looked like he knew exactly how to keep a woman satiated and content with a single touch and a whisper.
There was something so deeply familiar about Reacher and your interactions. You liked them more than what should be appropriate but you hadn’t broken any rules. There’s no crime in batting your eyelashes, laughing at his jokes and imagining him naked. You respected your boyfriend and your relationship far too much to even consider taking this beyond a semi-flirtatious conversation.
Not that you could anyway; he’d be back any minute and Reacher would remain a literal stranger whose presence you had no problem living without for the rest of your life.
“Your cousin’s not exactly punctual, is he?” you said after letting his comment dissipate. “I noticed you been here a while, too.”
“Yeah, he’s finishing a job for someone and he should be here soon. Said him and his girl would just meet me here.” Reacher’s focus flitted to the door and then back to you. “Your guy not here yet either?”
You surveyed the room and shook your head. “Guess not.”
“He shouldn’t make this a habit.”
“What?”
Reacher glanced away and shook your question off. “Nothing,” he muttered and gestured to the bartender. “Another beer, please.”
He looked your way and then at the empty state of your glass.
“Another one of these, too, please,” he called and nodded when the bartender registered the order.
“You don’t have to,” you insisted, watching the bartender swipe your glass and start mixing the second one after popping another bottle open for Reacher.
“I’m not expecting anything in return,” he said. “Haven’t bought a pretty woman a drink in a long time. Just wanna do something normal for once.”
You squinted at the side of the man’s face as he watched the bartender make your sangria. His aura was so eerily comforting that it was going to kill you if you didn’t figure him out.
Where did you know this man from?
“Thank you,” you said to the bartender when he set the drink on the counter before you. “And thank you, too, Reacher. Glad I could provide a bit of normalcy.”
“You’ve done wonders by just sitting here.”
“Maybe while you’re back, you could find something more permanent to make you feel normal,” you suggested, twirling the fruit in your drink with the straw. “That’s how I met my man. He was on leave and we met here in this exact bar. It’s nothing to write home about but—” you shrugged. “It’s something to us.”
Reacher nodded in understanding. “I’ve never had anything like that. I’m not looking but maybe my cousin can introduce me to somebody. If she’s anything like his girl, I won’t have to worry so much.”
“When he gets here, we can ask if one of his old flings is interested in another Army guy they can fix,” you joked and winked when Reacher lifted a speculative eyebrow.
His eyes scanned the room once more and stalled at the entrance. You turned and an ecstatic grin plastered itself over your lips when you beheld Sy finally making his way into the bar. He waved as he eagerly hurried over.
“There he is,” you and Reacher announced simultaneously, earning matching incredulous looks.
It only takes a millisecond to click before the two of you pointed at each other and ask the same question with a mere look.
“Looks like you two’ve already gotten down to it!” Sy said excitedly, embracing Reacher in a bear hug and clapping his shoulder. “How are ya, man?”
Reacher returned the sentiment, holding his cousin close all the while meeting your wide eyes over Sy’s shoulder.
“Been too long,” Reacher mumbled between them. “Almost uglier than you were last time.”
“Shut up,” Sy sniggered and unraveled himself from Reacher to hook an arm around your waist. “Darlin’, this is—”
“Jack,” you finished, failing to hide the cheeky smirk overtaking your face while your future in-law gave you another once over, this one less lewd than the ones before as if he were inspecting you through a different lens. Your name was velvety smooth on its way out his mouth.
“It’s nice to meet you, cousin,” you said, holding out a hand for him to shake. He glanced between your face, your outstretched hand and Sy before stepping forward and taking you into his large arms.
He was just as cozy as he looked. You could very well die in these arms.
Yikes.
That’s not a thought you should be having.
“Welcome to the circus,” he whispered in your ear and squeezed your frame closer to his.
“Thanks,” you whispered back. “Happy to join.”
A part of you wondered what you’d do next if Sy weren’t present. What would Reacher do?
I haven't been on here in so long! Life has been well life. I got let go of my job in September, took a month off. I start a new job Monday! What a blessing. I'm honestly excited. It was awful working somewhere that I clearly wasn't wanted. A new start is good 😊
My boyfriend and I are doing good! He gave me a promise ring 😭 at our special spot while eating a little picnic. My mental health is good! Antidepressants and anti anxiety medication has really helped me. I feel normal and grounded.
I think I may stop writing on my writing blog. I haven't had time and I think I'm out of my fanfiction phase, who knows 🤷🏾♀️ but right now it's not a passion of mine.
I have so many other things that I'm excited about. I just wanted to check in. I hope all of y'all are doing well 💛
rockstar lestat voice The children, they are calling me cringé... they are posting pictures of my face, magnifique, with my big blue eyes that captivate so many, and they are placing it next to a certain photograph of the starlet mademoiselle cyrus. they have turned me into a mémé. well. i can be humorous too, non? i am going to find the creators of this cruel joke. i will hunt them down. they think they are funny? i am about to be...hilariouse...
Make a lot story short the guy that I've been seeing trauma dumps and I'm completely caught off guard. I plan on talking to him about it instead of just ignoring it. Hopefully we can get to a resolution if not then that's it.
He doesn't ask me how I'm doing he just dumps and leaves. I don't like it. I prefer a balanced conversation verses one person who shares and shares while the other one hasn't been asked anything.
So it turns out that there are actual emotional mature men in this world 😭. Y'all we are good!
Like we had such a good conversation and actually got closer because of it. Also it does help that we've made out like 3 times since then 😂. I don't know what's happening as in can't believe this is real life for me rn but I'm happy with it.
I'm working on my attachment styles and I'm glad I didn't just block him and move on.
Make a lot story short the guy that I've been seeing trauma dumps and I'm completely caught off guard. I plan on talking to him about it instead of just ignoring it. Hopefully we can get to a resolution if not then that's it.
He doesn't ask me how I'm doing he just dumps and leaves. I don't like it. I prefer a balanced conversation verses one person who shares and shares while the other one hasn't been asked anything.
So it turns out that there are actual emotional mature men in this world 😭. Y'all we are good!
Like we had such a good conversation and actually got closer because of it. Also it does help that we've made out like 3 times since then 😂. I don't know what's happening as in can't believe this is real life for me rn but I'm happy with it.
I'm working on my attachment styles and I'm glad I didn't just block him and move on.
