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The Burden of Expectation

Word Count: 1,995 words Summary: Expectation. Adoration. Assumed perfection. Not only are these capable of evoking immense pressure for just about anyone, but they're words that both Ladybug and Adrien are used to being burdened by. And when Ladybug catches Adrien escaping from one of his final modeling shoots one evening, they finally find the cathartic outlet they've both needed: to share their fears with someone who understands. Notes: This was written for the @goldenhourzine, be sure to check out the other wonderful creators, please!

It may have been Adrien’s final modeling shoot, but somehow that failed to make it any less unbearable.

The afternoon had grown long, the evening eventually creeping up on him faster than he had realized. At this rate, he’d probably remain subject to the camera until long after dark.

And now, slumped on the ground against the back exterior wall of the studio, all Adrien could do was stare listlessly at the sky. He could only barely make out the lower bands of the sunset through the neighboring buildings.

Using the knuckles of his left hand, Adrien gently massaged one cheek, then the other. The best part about his breaks was that he got to stop smiling, regardless of whether or not he felt down.

Sure, he did feel down tonight, but either way, he’d relish any moment he didn’t have to plaster on the veneer of the amicable celebrity he was always expected to be.

The perfect golden boy that smiled at all of Paris on billboards and signs for miles around.

They’d probably continue to expect as much from him for years to come, regardless of what he pursued after his modeling career had formally ended.

Adrien returned his ministrations to his left cheek when a shadow fell over him. He froze and looked up, his eyebrows knit together even tighter than before.

“Adrien?”

His heart lodged momentarily in his throat.

“Ladybug,” he said, standing. “Is that you?”

She smiled gently down at him from the rooftop above before swinging down with all the grace and ease he had grown fond of long before, although he would never tell her as much.

“Hi there,” Ladybug said shyly. She had stopped a few feet away. “I was on patrol when I noticed you. You looked sort of sad and alone and… I, uh, just wanted to know if you were okay out here.”

Adrien’s heart warmed at her concern — and at the light blush that dusted her cheeks. She must have been flush from swinging around the city.

“Oh, well, Father released me from my modeling contract,” he said, one hand coming to cradle the back of his head self-consciously. “This is my final shoot. We’ve been at it for hours, so I came out to take a break.”

Ladybug listened patiently, looking at him with such kind attentiveness that Adrien decided that, perhaps, he could confide in her without the mask on. Just this once.

“I like to come outside to get some air and take a break,” he explained. “And this time, I just got lost in thought. I mean, it’s my last modeling shoot, but is it really ? There’s already been so much attention on me my whole life, and even in the future, I know I’ll be scrutinized, and—”

He cut off abruptly, biting his inner cheek. “Opening up” did not mean “emotionally vomiting” all over Ladybug, who wouldn’t understand just why he was being so transparent with her.

He cleared his throat.

“I’m sorry, that was a lot. You save Paris, my problems are nothing in comparison, so don’t worry—”

“Please don’t apologize!”

Ladybug had taken a step forward, one hand outstretched for a brief moment before she pulled it back in toward her chest.

“Adrien, really, you don’t have to—”

She was cut off by a gentle bell and buzz sounding from Adrien’s pocket. He grimaced but picked up with as polite a tone as he could muster.

“Yes, hello? This is Adrien.”

It was the studio manager. The photographer had finished his break early and was hoping to get back to shooting.

Perfect.

“Yeah, I’ll be back in shortly,” Adrien said, fighting the urge to sigh into the receiver. “Thanks.”

___________

He looked defeated, and Ladybug could hardly stand it. What she wanted more than anything was to take him home and wrap him up in a soft blanket — maybe the one she had saved in her trunk for his 46th birthday — but clearly that was out of the question.

Of course, that didn’t mean she couldn’t take him away . At least for a little bit.

“Hey, Adrien?” she asked hesitantly as he returned his cell phone to his pocket. “I know you might not have a lot of time left but, if you wanted to get just a little farther away on your break, I could… take you.”

He stared at her, seemingly struck silent.

Ladybug replayed what she said in her head.

Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap—

“I mean! Take you, uh, up! Yeah, like, above Paris. On the rooftops. Not like, kidnap you take you away, but just give you, like, a little distance, you know? So you can—”

“I’d love to!”

She bit off the end of her sentence. Not that she knew where it was going, anyway.

“You… you would?”

“Of course.” Adrien smiled brightly. “I would love to go anywhere with you, Ladybug.”

___________

When they landed, Ladybug nearly stumbled, as she was so lost in the sensation of Adrien’s warmth against her side. To swing securely through the city, she had to wrap an arm around him, pulling them closer to each other than they would be otherwise.

Even so, when Ladybug caught herself, she was dazzled by the view before them. From this empty rooftop, it was as though she and Adrien sat suspended in the sky, the likes of which was lit by the final dying embers of the day.

Ladybug cleared her throat, focusing back on why she had brought them both here in the first place.

Walking to the far end of the rooftop, she sat at the edge to let her legs dangle. Then, she patted the spot beside her and shyly smiled up toward Adrien, silently inviting him to join her.

He obliged, and she couldn’t help but marvel at the way his hair haloed around his head as he sat. But, met with the warm hues of rust and gold that gently wove their way through the evening sky, his sad, distant gaze stood in stark contrast.

Finally, after several beats of silence—

“I know I already asked this, but… are you okay?” Ladybug asked.

She fixed her gaze forward, rather than looking straight at him as she asked. She felt as though she’d put less pressure on him that way.

Ladybug bent one leg up, bracing her foot beneath her while the other continued to dangle loosely.

“I guess,” Adrien said, looking down at his lap. “It’s just, um, hard to talk about. Especially when I’m supposed to be… perfect . All the time.”

The cement felt cold beneath Ladybug as the roughened edges of the rooftop bit into her thigh. While she hugged one arm around her bent leg, the thumb of her opposite hand stroked mechanically along the face of her yo-yo.

Despite the magical nature of her yo-yo’s depth, she could almost feel the tangible weightlessness of it now that she could no longer reach in for the other Miraculous; for the other kwamis, who had trusted her implicitly.

Until she had failed them.

Until she — flawless in the eyes of the citizens — had failed all of Paris.

She might not be a model, but the burden of expectation was something she knew well enough.

“You know,” Ladybug sighed, “the people of Paris have me all wrong. They should blame me for what’s happening right now, but still, they don’t see any faults with me.”

It was extraordinary enough as it was that they continued to cheer her on, but… what if she marred that perfect image by failing again?

“Being seen as perfect by the people around you,” she breathed, “it feels heavy , doesn’t it?”

In her periphery, she saw Adrien turn his head toward her.

“That’s it exactly.” He nodded. “It’s heavy. It makes it hard to move forward.”

“But if you so much as drag your feet while trying, you could be letting so many people down,” Ladybug added thoughtfully.

Now, Adrien angled his whole body toward her, attentive. Ladybug dropped her bent leg down and turned so that she could look at him, as well.

“Like, how are you supposed to withstand the constant scrutiny?” Adrien asked. “Especially when your failures reflect on the people you love.”

He looked down.

“Like my father.”

Ladybug nodded.

“I feel the same way with my partner, Chat Noir,” she said, looking back out at the city. “If I don’t get it right, not only could it reflect on him, but it could actively hurt him, too.”

Adrien sighed, leaning back on his hands. His knee bumped gently against Ladybug’s.

“It’s one thing for us to have to be perfect,” he said, “but having to be perfect for the sake of other people — not just for their expectations, but for their wellbeing — it just adds a whole new level of pressure.”

Ladybug’s cheeks warmed at the small contact, and she allowed the moment to buoy her courage. She scooted closer to him.

“I don’t know about you, but… it at least helps to have someone to talk to,” she said shyly, looking down as she folded her hands. “Like you. You understand, and it makes me feel less alone.”

The sky had grown dimmer in the minutes that passed. The air felt cooler. Lighter.

Adrien’s hands skimmed forward as he sat upright again. He rested one hand over Ladybug’s.

“I feel the same way,” he murmured.

Using his free hand, he gingerly pressed his palm to Ladybug’s opposite cheek, slowly guiding her line of sight back to him.

“Thank you,” he whispered. “For listening. And comforting me. It… really means a lot.”

Ladybug could barely breathe under the weight of Adrien’s gaze. A timid smile tugged at his lips. Curiosity bloomed in Ladybug’s heart.

No, the boy wasn’t perfect. But neither was she. And maybe that’s what could make them perfect… for each other.

Adrien’s hand continued to ghost over her cheek, and she leaned in to close the distance—

Tringtringtring

Abruptly, the two pulled back.

Adrien scrambled for his pocket and pulled out his phone, answering with unsteady breath.

“Yes, um, hello?”

Ladybug bit her lip and looked away.

“Yes, I will,” Adrien said into the receiver. “I’ll be right there. Bye.”

With a sigh, he ended the call.

“I… have to get back,” he said apologetically.

Ladybug swallowed to overcome the nerves that had knotted in the base of her throat.

“R-right! Of course!” She stammered. “Um, but first, I just… are you okay to go back? I mean, how are you feeling?”

Adrien stood and stepped back from the rooftop’s ledge. Holding out one hand to her, he donned a smile again.

This one, she knew, was genuine.

“I’m okay,” he said firmly. “It’s like you said earlier. Thanks to you, I feel less alone.”

___________

Adrien struggled to beat back the pull of disappointment in his chest as his feet hit the ground outside of the studio.

“Thank you again,” he said to Ladybug, stepping reluctantly away from her embrace. “For everything.”

Ladybug only nodded mutely, but that was all he needed to turn to face the studio doors with newfound confidence.

After several steps forward, however, she called back out to him.

“Wait, Adrien!”

He turned around.

She appeared shy and hesitant — apprehensive, even — but after a deep breath, she took two steps forward and wrapped his right hand between both of hers. Before he knew it, Ladybug’s lips pressed tenderly to his cheek, her touch lingering a moment longer than necessary.

Blushing intensely, she pulled back.

“You don’t have to be perfect, Adrien,” she said firmly as she let go and pulled out her yo-yo. “The people who truly know and love you? They’ll appreciate you just the way you are.”

Before he could respond, the spotted heroine turned and was once again swinging away.

But the joy she left with him? Well, that was a balm to his heart that would linger.

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