devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes

Mostly started this as an add-on to my ao3 account: archiveofourown.org/users/goldenroses13

[goldenroses13]

lately i've been wanting to write a really angsty fic about Mare and Richard dating long distance but Mare starts cheating on him with Colin like...I have some thoughts...some ideas...i'm noodling it over.....

[goldenroses13]

you'd think that spending two years writing a story about an emotionally unavailable woman falling in love with someone who just likes her for her would maybe give me some perspective and YOU'D BE WRONG

[goldenroses13]

electric touch is my designated mare/colin song from SNTV

[goldenroses13]

I'm 32 so basically Taylor's age and listening to Speak Now TV 13 years later has altered my brain chemistry.....once "Timeless" made me start crying in public I realized it was time to start moving on from some Things bc there is literally no reason a boy from my mid-20s should still make me feel that way I swear to god

[goldenroses13]

just found out via this tweet that the dinner date scene with Colin and Mare was actually supposed to be AT A WEDDING?? WITH KARAOKE?? but they had to change it because of COVID and now I'm spiraling. release every single draft of those scripts right the hell now.

(though I kind of get the impression this was before the Colin Zabel Is A Sweetheart Actually rewrite they had to do after Evan started filming lmao)

[marezabel]

HEY EVERYONE THIS IS NOT A DRILL

MMYFH WAS UPDATED @goldenroses13

GO READ IT RIGHT NOW

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

(yes I did sit down to read this in the middle of an ikea while people stared at me yes I have anxiety about the fic)

[goldenroses13]

I know I don’t post much on this blog anymore but I am BACK with a new chapter of MMYFH! 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34261120/chapters/111030985

[goldenroses13]

LABYRINTH IS A COLIN SONG

MIDNIGHT RAIN IS A MAGGIE/HIS EX SONG

SWEET NOTHING IS A MARE/COLIN SONG

ANTI-HERO IS A MARE SONG

and i can’t explain it but YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN, KID IS A YOUNG LORI SONG

that’s all 

OH AND MIDNIGHT RAIN IS A SISTER SONG TO CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS

[marezabel]

YOU ARE SO RIGHT

This is the most accurate list I’ve ever seen

I’D LIKE TO ADD

bigger than the whole sky is a MARE/COLIN song

would’ve, could’ve, should’ve has a very specific meaning aka

-the would’ve is for Colin

-the could’ve is for them both

-the should’ve is for Mare

[goldenroses13]

oh man i am still processing the other 7 songs but YES. listening to bigger than the whole sky at 3 a.m. last night i was like....i do not have the mental strength for this rn 

[goldenroses13]

recently miss swift has really coming for the 30-something girlies who had the chance to settle down and get married and i need her to ***Stop***

[goldenroses13]

LABYRINTH IS A COLIN SONG

MIDNIGHT RAIN IS A MAGGIE/HIS EX SONG

SWEET NOTHING IS A MARE/COLIN SONG

ANTI-HERO IS A MARE SONG

and i can’t explain it but YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN, KID IS A YOUNG LORI SONG

that’s all 

OH AND MIDNIGHT RAIN IS A SISTER SONG TO CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS

[goldenroses13]

when you think you wrote something really profound and then realize you just badly semi-plagiarized ms. swift 

[goldenroses13]

i like how for House of the Dragon they were like “and we’re done with gratuitous sex and violence!” and then proceeded to have one of the most disturbingly graphic/gory SEQUENCE of scenes i have ever watched 

[goldenroses13]

**why** do i want to do a mare of easttown rewatch when it brings me nothing but pain 

[goldenroses13]

i’ve been single since march 2020 (it was either break up or basically have to live together during the pandemic and i could not do that lmao) and sometimes i’m like, i should do something about being single! but then all in one day I get texts/calls about the following:

1. friend A reveals her bf does not contribute to their grocery bills but also won’t eat the food she prepares for him and that’s about to be her last straw; says she’s worried if they break up she won’t be able to afford the house they rent. friend A has already been married and divorced once.  

2. friend B calls to tell me her longterm bf/first love broke up with her

3. friend C tells friend A that the house should not be the reason she stays with him, and that she’s been coming to terms with that herself bc she wants to leave her husband but it’s been hard bc of all the money they’ve put into their house

4. a more casual friend i’m sort of in and out of touch with just told me TODAY that this summer she moved out of the luxury manhattan apartment she shared with her rich boyfriend and is back to schlepping it in brooklyn 

then last week, i find out through friend group gossip that one of my college friends (who divorced a couple years ago) has been HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH A MARRIED MAN that STARTED WHEN SHE WAS ALSO MARRIED and she’s REALLY GOOD FRIENDS WITH AND WORKS WITH THE WIFE

me and my other single friends within this larger group have our own group chat going like “…….so we are never dating again” 

[goldenroses13]

i’m over here every couple of months like “man it’s a little depressing that enough time has passed that the last guy i was with is now married to a whole other person let me listen to champagne problems 250x on repeat” 

meanwhile, all my friends are like “goldenroses13, half of us are barely 30 and divorced or getting divorced, go be a drama queen somewhere else” 

[goldenroses13]

i’ve been single since march 2020 (it was either break up or basically have to live together during the pandemic and i could not do that lmao) and sometimes i’m like, i should do something about being single! but then all in one day I get texts/calls about the following:

1. friend A reveals her bf does not contribute to their grocery bills but also won’t eat the food she prepares for him and that’s about to be her last straw; says she’s worried if they break up she won’t be able to afford the house they rent. friend A has already been married and divorced once.  

2. friend B calls to tell me her longterm bf/first love broke up with her

3. friend C tells friend A that the house should not be the reason she stays with him, and that she’s been coming to terms with that herself bc she wants to leave her husband but it’s been hard bc of all the money they’ve put into their house

4. a more casual friend i’m sort of in and out of touch with just told me TODAY that this summer she moved out of the luxury manhattan apartment she shared with her rich boyfriend and is back to schlepping it in brooklyn 

then last week, i find out through friend group gossip that one of my college friends (who divorced a couple years ago) has been HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH A MARRIED MAN that STARTED WHEN SHE WAS ALSO MARRIED and she’s REALLY GOOD FRIENDS WITH AND WORKS WITH THE WIFE

me and my other single friends within this larger group have our own group chat going like “.......so we are never dating again” 

[goldenroses13]

i still think one of the lowkey funniest moments of Mare of Easttown is Colin being like “yeah I used someone else’s notes to solve a case that needed to be solved anyway and didn’t tell anyone :( :( it ultimately got a child murderer off the streets but isn’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard :( :(” 

and then mare’s like “I ABUSED MY POWER AS A LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER AND PLANTED DRUGS ON MY GRANDKID’S ONLY LIVING PARENT, A RECOVERING DRUG ADDICT” ...girl 

[goldenroses13]

i don’t really drink for the purpose of getting drunk anymore because i can’t bounce back from it like i did in my early twenties lmao but last night it was a good friend’s birthday and our group found a bar with $12 margaritas (that’s pretty fucking cheap here!!) and I had...six.....and i don’t actually remember this but she told me this morning that when we went to the next bar we did shots of cheap well whiskey (why?? i usually have standards) and i was like 

“ok cool so that explains a whole lot about how i was throwing up out of the cab window on the way home, tipped the driver in cash and on the app bc I felt bad even though i didn’t throw up in his car, then sent my best friends’ group chat a series of videos panicking about the possibility of him giving me a low Lyft rating...while topless for some reason!!!” like it’s a good thing those were my best friends from high school but they promised they only saw top boob/cleavage...but I wouldn’t know because i sent the videos on snapchat so (luckily) they are lost to the world 

so anyway i’ve been hungover all day