Lil' Gold Phish @goldfishlover13 - Tumblr Blog

villainous overlord: And someone has to get rid of all that fucking impweed. I don't want them smoking it, they're useless when they're stoned on that shit. henchman imp: I'm on it, boss. villainous overlord: [narrows eyes] You are what? henchman imp: [uncontrollable nervous giggle]

homunculus-argument

Relationship statuses and how much I doubt it if you add "happily" in front of it:

Happily single: I have no reason to question that, nobody else gets to decide how you feel, and I'm happy for you.

Happily dating: Kind of weird that you'd feel the need to clarify. You know you don't have to date someone who doesn't make you happy, right?

Happily engaged: Same as previous, but more so. You know you should not be getting married to someone who doesn't make you happy, right? I'm not leaving before I know that you know.

Happily married: Could go either way tbh, but most likely you are. If someone's not actually happy with their marriage, it shows, no matter what they say.

Happily divorced: Yeah this one I have no reason to doubt. Nobody says they're happy about being divorced unless they really are happy about it.

Happily widowed: I wouldn't doubt that you are but girl did you kill him.

homunculus-argument

me, sitting in the imperial palace in the middle of the Han dynasty, showing the emperor shit off my phone: ...So in the future, instead of having to keep your own council of eunuchs, there is a public one that anyone can go to for advice. They can't betray you because they're not loyal to you - hell, they don't even respect you, they are only loyal to their ideas of being right and correcting each other. They'll answer your questions unless they think that your question was stupid, in which case you're receiving a full downpour of their vitriol. No, they won't kill you if you offend them. The worst they can do is ban you from that particular subreddit.

disgustinggf

stop posting how sad you are, we are here for the horny

wait i have a meme for this

disgustinggf

innerchildabortionclinic

fave genre of comment on terrible songs

mrsterlingeverything

Many are not familiar with what is called a diva moment. Youre about to learn

pending-trans-action-2

orphiclovers-deactivated2026032

If I was in a fanfiction and started coughing up flowers while working at a flower shop (because this is a flower shop au) I would NOT connect my crush on the tattoo artist next door to the flower cough situation. I would freak the fuck out and think the pollen at work was doing some Last of Us shit to me, quit my job and move FAR away. inadvertently my flame for the tattoo artist would fade with distance, solving my hanahaki situation and proving my 'the flowers were trying to turn me into a plant zombie' theory

striders

cat can:

snuggle

biting you

eat food AND plastic

so scared of car sounds

locate Bug

Make sounds

lakevida

are you guys gonna wrap it up with the dog motif anytime soon

fraenum

literally man's best friend but whatever. i guess you do sexual roleplay as some kind of tender-leaved houseplant?

lakevida

you know full well that my sexual roleplays are geological in nature

rockshitty

I love what we've done with the word "ratatouille." It's kinda like how we fucked up the popular understanding of the word inception, except we borrowed a word from a language we usually copy 1:1 and assigned it a wildly unrelated meaning. Hell with the tomatoes. Steer that man by his hair.