R.I.P. TO MY YOUTH.

RILEY H. GOLDSTEIN xix. first year. undecided. she/her. memelord shitstain. jewish. · · · · ❝ Deeply I go down into myself. My god is Dark and like a webbing made of a hundred roots that drink in silence.❞

[goldstevn-blog]

nudge ritter.

nudge was sort of a hermit, but the times she did leave her room, she had pretty much a full backpack of gadgets with her. the most important was a hard drive that held all of her codes. a hard drive, which she seemed to have misplaced. she was on edge, borderline frantic, in search of it. “hey, hi, have you seen a hard drive on it? ‘nudge’ is carved on it,” she asked. “it’s about this big, and i’m freaking out a little.” / @gallagherstart​

“I haven’t, no,” Riley frowned, giving a look around the room though she knew her three second scan of it wouldn’t do much good. “You’d think with all the tech there is you’d be able to put some sort of alarm or tracking device on it so this sort of shit doesn’t happen.”

[goldstevn-blog]

mary sakamoto.

          mary’s   been   good  ,  she   thinks  ,  at   staying   tight - lipped   so   far  ,  conducting   and   diverting   the   conversations   she’s   been   in   to   avoid   having   to   disclose   any   personal   information  .  in   between   the   fun  ,  overwhelming   setting   and   carefree   chatters   the   evening   keeps   offering  ,  she   doesn’t   forget   that   she   too  ,  is   someone’s   target  .  although  .  .  .  no   one   has   been   quite   as   direct   with   their   questions   as  riley   had   just   been  .  is   it   the   other   trying   a   bold   strategy   over   a   subtle   one  ,  or   just   a   genuine   inquiry  ?  she   can’t   say  ,  but   it   brings   the   mischief   back   in   her   gaze  .  tilt   of   head  ,  entertained   grin   can’t   seem   to   find   its   way   off   her   lips  .     ❛     i   thought   it   meant   i   secured   a   potential   hazard   from   a   crowded   area  ,  but  ——     ❜     it’s   hard   to   kick   teasing   habits   away  —  she’s   having   a   good   time  ,  she   wants   to   learn   more   about   the   other  ,  too  .     ❛     if   you’re   up   for   more   socializing  .  .  .  what   exactly   do   you   want   to   know  ,  riley  ?     ❜      the   question   reads   like   a   playful   dare   flowing   smoothly   off   her   tongue  .

     There were so many stupid jokes at the tip of her tongue, but Riley wasn’t there for jokes. A mission was at hand, it was the very first one and there was a need to prove herself to herself, to prove there was a reason they’d picked her. Still, she couldn’t help but notice that despite the mishaps, Mary was just something SPECIAL. There was the subtle kindness she’d displayed earlier and now she was being playful, fun, intriguing. Mary may have been her target but Riley felt enamored with the other, there was genuine interest and she felt lucky that she was the one assigned to Mary. No matter how the night went, she felt herself moving forward with Mary in some way -- that was a good result regardless, right? “If it means more time with you, I could definitely be up for more socializing,” it was almost cringey but that’s what she was going for, right? The double blind. “Maybe start with an easy one. How’d you find out about Gallagher?”

[goldstevn-blog]

ruby meriwether.

“You’ll have to tell me the fully story some time.” Though she barely knew her, Ruby could already tell Riley was probably a fun one to be around.

“It was all just here at your fingertips waiting to be discovered… Wonder what other sorts of things are out there in the world and we have no clue they even exist,” she said, brows furrowed, genuinely curious. “I know right? And I can already tell I’m going to need that during finals week.”

“You’ll have to hold me to it, but I will.”

“I’m kinda convinced that Atlantis is real now actually, like, there has to be something behind it. I’m looking forward to learning more about the world too, y’know. I feel like the stuff we learn here is ACTUALLY interesting, unlike regular school.”

[goldstevn-blog]

calvin linacre.

       – THE SWIMMING POOL was dimly lit, not drawing many students so early in the morning. for this calvin was grateful, this is the last thing he wanted an audience for. “can we get on with it?” he asked, brusquely, hoping it would cover up how nervous he actually was. he fiddled awkwardly with the hem of his t-shirt, not willing to take it off, but equally not wanting to draw attention to his reluctance. “you know, actually maybe this isn’t a good idea. i don’t need to know how to swim … i’ll just only go on field missions to landlocked cities.” || @gallagherstart

“Please Calvin, I don’t know much about the whole spy school thing but I know that having to swim is probably a requirement,” Riley shook her head, though she could understand why he was hesitant. At the end of the day, swimming was a daunting thing to learn, sure she loved it, couldn’t get enough, but it wasn’t an easy task or feat. Taking off her clothes down to her bathing suit, Riley jumped into the water, hoping that she could follow by example. “Your turn, TWINKLETOES.”

[goldstevn-blog]

bettina katsopolis.

“ Megan Thee Stallion has done more for this generation than Phil Collins has in his ENTIRE life, including bringing Lily Collins into this world. I said what I said.”

“You’re braver than the US marines, “ Riley said, giving a salute to Bettina, “though I know a few Lily Collins stan accounts that would want to fuck you up for that opinion.”

[goldstevn-blog]

maitê maldonado.

“hot take: unlikable women characters are MORE likable than likable men characters.”

“Well, there’s nothing hot about a take that’s true. So. Anyone that disagrees is just, wrong.”

[goldstevn-blog]

bettina katsopolis. 

“tarzan was hornier than a drunk nun and wasn’t even potty-trained, but jane said you know what… those abs don’t grow on tree. this is MY hot girl summer.”

“I guess that’s one way to look at a Disney classic. Who needs Phil Collins on the soundtrack of Tarzan when Megan thee Stallion is RIGHT there?”

[goldstevn-blog]

ophelia prior.

@gallagherstart

ophelia dramatically slumped down on the sofa in the dorm lounge, her head flopping off of the cushions and her feet up over the back. her hair hung off the edge haphazardly. “i thing we need a– what are they called?” she pulled a lolipop from her skirt pocket. “a vending machine. for sweets. i’m running out from the kilo bag i bought when i went into town last week.”

“Ugh, I know,” Riley slumped down next to Ophelia, crossing her arms as she started to think about all the sweets and treats she was missing. “Though I doubt this place wants us to have anything REMOTELY unhealthy. We’ll have to start a petition.”

[goldstevn-blog]

mary sakamoto.

          ❛     so   YOU   are   your   own   weakness  ,  then  ?   must   be   pretty   nerve - wracking  ,  we’ll   have   to   work   on   that  !  come   on  ,  let’s   just   make   a   b - line   for   it  .     ❜     thinking   before   acting  ,  it’s   something   she’s   been   told   actively   to   work   on  ,  especially   if   she   wants   to   thrive   in   her   future   profession  .  clearly  ,  it   still   needs   more   tweaking   as   the   shorter   girl   lightly   grabs   the   other’s   hand  ,  leading   them   both   through   the   mass   of   people   and   out   of   the   room  .  even   though   they’re   still   indoors  ,  the   air   seems   fresher  —  lack   of   different   perfumes   and   cologne   mixed   together   is   grandly   appreciated  ,  she   takes   a   long   breath   in  .     ❛     i   was   starting   to   get   dizzy   in   there  ,  to   be   honest  .  i’m   pretty   sure   i   smell   like   four   different   axe   scents  .     ❜    hand   finally   release   the   soft   hold  ,  wrist   shoots   up   to   her   face   and   her   nose   scrunches  .  yeah  ,  definitely   not   her   own   fragrance   anymore  .

     We’ll have to work on that, Mary says and Riley gets excited at the prospect of a ‘we’. As they go through the mass of people, Riley can’t help but feel her heart flutter -- they were HOLDING HANDS. It was just a mission, she tried to tell herself. Sure, it wasn’t in the romantic sense, it was purely for directional purposes only, but they were holding hands as they went through the crowd. Her face flushed but she was more than relieved to be out of the main venue and in a quieter location. Laughing she nodded, “I know, I was kinda excited going to an all girls school being able to avoid the scent of axe body spray but I guess we’ll be haunted with it ‘til the day we graduate.” Of course, Riley started to get nervous -- again -- as now they’re in a quieter place, together. “Now that we’re out here, does that mean I’ll get to know you better? No more champagne glasses to spill, at the very least.”

[goldstevn-blog]

caden lucca.

     His lips curled into a smirk at her remark.   “ Glad I can usually be of amusement, “   he deadpanned, taking a sip of a nearby drink flute and then immediately spitting it back into the glass.   “ CHRIST, that’s nasty.  Why even bother putting it in a pretty glass if they’re just going to be serving us juice like children ? “   With a crinkle of his nose, Caden set it down on the table.   “ You mean galas ?   I’m the son of a Senator;  I was RAISED on galas.  Though I will say, this is my first one without alcohol and with a hidden agenda. “   The only hidden agendas he typically had at galas were seeing which of his parent’s friend’s daughter he could get to sneak out with him, without anyone noticing.   “ First gala for you, I take it ? “

     Raising an eyebrow at him spitting the fake champagne back in the glass, she started to laugh. “Some would say spitting a drink back in a glass is childish too, but, c’est la vie, I guess,” she teased, because when it came down to it -- she didn’t care that his manners were terrible. It was just funny that the son of a Senator was so bad with them. “First gala. Reminds me of the ones I’ve seen in movies and TV. Son of a SENATOR though? Any tips and tricks to get through this thing in one piece?”

[goldstevn-blog]

ruby meriwether.

“Arrested?” Ruby said in a whisper, eyes wide as she grinned back at her, like it was the most scandalous thing she could have said.

“Ah,” she nodded, “Super valid answer.” Ruby shook her head then after a quick sip of her drink. “Ohmygod, not at all. I didn’t even know spies were a real thing until after I passed their exam and they pulled me aside to drop the bomb on me.”

“Arrested.” Riley so eloquently elaborated, she knew she wasn’t giving anything juicy, especially considering Ruby’s face -- expectant and scandalized. 

“I know, I mean, I’ve ALWAYS known spies were a real thing but not like this. Like, I’ve read all about spies in other countries too but I didn’t realize this was how spies were actually made. I’ve only read comics about shit like this, at the very least.” This was one subject Riley could talk about all day, easily. “The fact that we have a spa on campus too? Didn’t expect that.”

[goldstevn-blog]

kassandra sutton.

      Kass mimicked the deep breaths that the other girl was doing through the mirror, hoping that having someone by her side with her would help, just a little bit.   Her eyebrows furrowed in concern, HATING seeing her new friend clearly so upset, and yet there was nothing she could do for her.  But the girl’s shoulders relaxed a bit as Riley began to speak, glad to hear that nothing serious had happened during the event – just some good old fashioned self-doubt.   “ I’ve been in this world nearby my entire life, and I haven’t seen one trace of neutralizers being real, let alone used in the field, “   she offered with a slight smile, reaching out to place her hand over Riley’s on the sink counter. Yes, Kass had grown up in this world, so she didn’t know what Riley was going through – but in her six years of spy schools, this wasn’t the first time she was having a conversation like this with a friend.   “ Don’t put so much pressure on tonight, Riley.  You’re brand new to the game, nobody’s expecting you to find a double agent in our midsts.  It’s just a LESSON, a way to get you thinking. It’ll get easier the more acclimated you get, I promise. But don’t doubt yourself; everyone is here for a reason.  The administration here is MUCH too intelligent to not have seen something promising in you. If you can’t trust your own instincts yet, trust theirs. “  

     “Oh thank god, no neutralizers,” it may have seemed silly, but that did calm Riley down. The worst that could happen at this point if she flunked out of spy school? She’d get a desk job for the government, she figured. Or she signed the NDA of NDAs and write a vague book of poetry about her time at Gallagher. Either way, there was no mind erasure, which was relieving. Riley took Kass’ words to heart, listening to them, taking them in. Did she hate the idea of listening to an administration of government officials who were there to assess whether she could hack spy school or not? Sure. But Kass was right, there was no way she’d be here if they didn’t see something in her. It was what grounded her the most, remembering that she was picked out of anyone in the world who could’ve been picked. No matter what her mind told her about her abilities -- she was one of the CHOSEN few. Finally, she looked at Kass and nodded, “fuck, you’re right. You’re right. Thank you.” Riley made a mental note to do something kind for both Kass and Valeria when she could figure out something they’d both like. “I’m just not used to people expecting so much of me, I guess. Even my mom doesn’t expect this much out of me. It’s so different, I don’t even know how to explain. I didn’t even think I’d be going to college, you know.”

[goldstevn-blog]

calvin linacre.

“I’m always right,” he nodded, rather smugly. At times such a these it was so easy to see how, in another life, he might have been a real school prefect. He exuded ‘I told you so’ energy.  Nevertheless, his expression turned sympathetic at her response. The fact she was so worried told him that she cared about it going well - which he did understand. 

“Not that you’re not going to be good at this – because there is a good chance you are going to be brilliant – but not everyone is good at the same stuff, Riley. This is just one tiny part of the stuff we’re going to do here this year, and if you’re not the best at this, you’ll be good at something else. You’re here for a reason. You’ve got to back yourself.” He didn’t add, because no one else will. 

Once again, he was right. She usually would’ve hated when someone acted so authoritative and smug but with Calvin it was different. He cared, it was as clear as day, though she loathed to admit it, she needed to be around people who cared. There was a part of her that deeply just didn’t some days, that scared her to her core, the unfeeling uncaring side of her she didn’t like to deal with let alone acknowledge. Riley knew one thing, she’d have to face it all here at spy school, one way or another. There was no more hiding, not unless it was a for a mission. 

Riley took his words to heart and reached over to lightly squeeze his shoulder in an act of saying thank you. “How am I ever going to repay you being so good to me, dude. I don’t know. Thanks.” She knew she was getting a little SAPPY, so she decided to be a shit. “Didn’t expect to be friends with a blonde twink in spy school but then again, didn’t really expect the spy school in the first place. Enough of my dread, how are you doing? How’s the night for ya?”

[goldstevn-blog]

mary sakamoto.

          the   flirtation   reaching   her   ears   sound  clumsy  ,  the   small   accident   emphasizing   the   hunch  ——  it’s   CUTE  ,   makes   her   grin  .  reading   and   interpreting   are   skills   she   doesn’t   have   mastered   yet  ,  although   she’s   been   told   her   intuition   often   makes   the   right   call  .  a   swift   squat   and   she’s   helping   with   the   light   mess  ,  amused   glance  swaying   between   broken   glass   and   dressed - up   brunette  .     ❛     i’m   sure   they   have   plenty   of   others  ,  they   won’t   miss   these   two   glasses  ,  isn’t   that   right  ?     ❜     she   catches   the   rebuking   glare   of   the   waiter  ,  countering   it   with   fabricated   regretful   eyes  .  she   wants   to   avoid   petty   reprimands  ,  and   smiles   when   the   apology   is   accepted  .     ❛     i   know   the   hallway   is   less   crowded  ,  if   we   want   to   avoid   other   incidents  .  ——  you’re   a   bit   nervous  ,  aren’t   you  ?     ❜     focus   shifts   back   to   riley  .  the   smile   is   gentle  ,  the   question   is   caring  .  mary   is   aiming   for   reassurance  ,  not   scare   off   the   poor   girl  .

     “Hopefully the school’s budget included this, though I doubt they’d spare any expense at this point,” God, she was pretty and she was nice. It was enough to both relax Riley and keep her even more on her toes -- however that was possible. At least she was genuinely intrigued about Mary Sakamoto, that was much was sure. She was beautiful, she was friendly, and right now she was her saving grace -- what wasn’t there to admire? Mary had caught her though,  she asked if she was nervous and Riley couldn’t help but come clean. “MORE than a bit. A lot nervous. Pretty girls who happen to be gracious and nice are my kryptonite.” The words tumbled out of her mouth as she started to get up from the floor, nodding. “Going out in the hallway might be the move. I’ll follow you?”

[goldstevn-blog]

ruby meriwether. 

“Touché,” Ruby nodded. “I guess that’s part of what we’re here to learn. Which is, by the way, wild.”

“Well, when the right and safe opportunity arises, I would personally love to see drunk Riley, she sounds like good fun.” She picked up a small bite of food from a passing tray and was grateful Gallagher had really excellent chefs. “So, Riley, when did you know you wanted to go to a school for spies?”

“Totally wild.”

“Oh drunk Riley? She’s a hoot. She’s crazy. She’s definitely fun but she’s a little too much fun, if you ask me. Almost got arrested once,” Riley remarked before also taking a bit food to eat, successfully popping it into her mouth. Between chewing, she tried to answer, “sorry. Uh, well, when they gave me a FREE tuition, room and board, said they were a spy school. Did you go to a spy high school?”

[goldstevn-blog]

kassandra sutton.

      So far throughout the night, Kass had made sure to keep tabs on both her sister and Riley, though she tried really hard not to continuously approach them.  The last thing Val probably wanted was an older sister who acted like a hovering mother, and she believed that once Riley got into the gala setting looking as amazing as she did, the nerves of the evening would hopefully wear off.  But seeing the look the brunette gave her, signaling to follow her, Kass realized perhaps she had been off the mark a teensy bit.   “ Are you alright ? “   was the first thing she asked as she walked through the bathroom doors, quickly looking under the stalls to make sure nobody else was in there.  Then she took her place beside Riley, offering a comforting hand on her back.   “ What’s going on ? ”

     Once again she thought, Thank God for Kass. Riley tried to catch her breathe, taking a few deeps breaths in and out. The weight of it all had dawned on her, how important this was, it was written all over the scenery of the venue. Their first mission at a fancy gala, it had to mean it was business it was time to show up or show out and Riley was beyond scared. “I don’t understand why they picked me,” she admitted out loud, hating how true those words were to her even if they were just mere insecurities. “Why I’m here. What I’m supposed to do with it. Why. EVERYTHING is just intense -- if I can’t do this mission, what will I be able to do? They don’t just kick the failures out of spy school right they gotta have some sort of memory wiping technology or something crazy like that.”

[goldstevn-blog]

caden lucca.

@goldstevn​

He found his new first year pal by the refreshments, and with his mark and his date nowhere to be found, Caden couldn’t resist going to bug her.   “ Looking very grown up tonight, HALF-PINT. “   As far as girls go she wasn’t exactly short, but the nickname slid off his tongue all the same.   “ Enjoying the show ? “   Perhaps the most interesting part of the evening   ( and without booze, there wasn’t much )  was watching all the veteran spies mingle and smile their way through tight-lipped conversation, trying to guess who was working on their assignment and who wasn’t.  It was the seduction majors, Caden decided, that were the most dangerous in events like these ;   good thing he had brought one with him as a date, even if she REFUSED to acknowledge it.

“Looking old and weathered tonight, GRANDPA,” Riley quipped back as a greeting, though her tone wasn’t pointed, it was more casual. Having Caden in her classes was sometimes hilarious, at times it was clear he knew just as much about spy stuff as she did despite being older than her. Sure, he was a first year, but he seemed like the type of guy who would’ve been a legacy of some sort. Looking out into crowd for a moment, Riley let her eyes travel to various people, looking at the various plastered smiles on their faces. If she hated fakeness before, spy college took it to a different level -- no one was what they seemed. “Not as fun as you getting your ass kicked in class, but it’ll have to do. Are you used to going to things like these or is this all rather new for you too?”