I’m not sure if I explained it before, but I feel like I owe it to everyone to do so.
For those too lazy to check, my blog title is “Kid Rock eats toothpaste.”
This isn’t a Kid Rock fan blog at all, as you may have noticed. I only know about 1.5 to around 3 of his songs. The most noteworthy one is “Picture,” the duet with Sheryl Crow.
The first verse of the song is Kid’s alone, and he laments about “fueling up on Colgate and whiskey.” Colgate, as most of you know, is a brand of toothpaste, mouthwash, and general oral care products. Sure, there’s shady, usually poverty-stricken drunks who will try to get intoxicated by antiseptic alcohols like mouthwash, but they’re probably not Kid Rock, the multimillionaire.
Also, I didn’t even know mouthwash could get you drunk when the song came out, and didn’t use it very often, but I used toothpaste. Ergo, I thought “What the hell heck is Kid Rock doing munching on toothpaste? Why? Do you not love yourself, Kid?”
Only when I started doing DARE and hearing censored versions of the song that went “Fueling up on...[pause]...and whiskey” did I realize my tremendous mondegreen. I thought for a bit it maybe Colgate sued him, Sheryl, the radio station, or whoever, but then it hit me.
Cocaine. Cocaine and whiskey.
(Nobody fuels up on Colgate, aside from maybe Carl Wheezer, who ate a tube of paste in the Jimmy Neutron feature film, iirc.)
But nonetheless, I like to make fun of myself for mishearing and Kid for mumbling, thus my blog title.
(Also, Kid became a Trump supporter, which is super lame, but his music is still okay, I guess.)
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