I still love you
I struggled with depression for a long time and in my worst days all I could think about was the mess that I was, the burden that I was for others, the mean words I used to say because I was so irritable. I felt so unworthy of love and that made me hate myself even more, so I decided that I didn’t deserve the love that my loved ones offered me and started rejecting it, I ended up isolating myself again wich made me more depressed, it became a vicious cycle.
But I realize now that during all that time there was not a minute that my family and friends didn’t love me . I know how hard it must’ve been for them watching someone you love giving up on life, yet they stayed, they must’ve wanted to hug me, to be closer, even when they tried to respect the walls that my pain had built they were always present. They never gave up on me. Now I know that even at my worst they’ve always loved me, and it does’nt matter how hard it gets, they’ll always do.
These days I try to remember to love myself even with my difficult parts, when I’m tired, when I’m hopeless, when all I want is hide I remeber that this is not me, it’s just a bad day and that I’m a beautiful person worthy of love.I assure you that you’ll find people that will love you with your ugly parts, if you want to meet the first one just go and stand in front of a mirror. :)
