Pudge the Butcher

Too long have I spent on the Fields of Carnage, dismantling corpses for the crows. I come, not to conquer or to scheme, but for the promise of work and flesh in this new land, away from my homeland. My knives are sharp, but sheathed, for in this new land, I need allies and friends, as the crows who once surrounded me upon the Fields needed me, for food and for protection.

[contrasting-blood-brothers-blog]

Munday Meme Sprung From My Mind~!

Get to know me anon or not, and as many as you like~

1. Full name? 2. Birthday? 3. Favourite food? 4. Favourite drink? 5. Favourite colour? 6. Best friends or many good friends? 7. Coke or Pepsi? 8. Taken or Single? 9. Preferred Pronouns? 10. Amusing memory? 11. Any tumblr crushes? 12. Blogger picture :3 ? 13. Leader or follower? 14. Pet peeve? 15. Sexuality? 16. Do you fit a stereotype? 17. Ever fallen for a friend? 18. Favourite song? 19. Favourite Animal? 20. Smoker? 21. Pop or Soda? 22. Favourite book/ series?? 23. Opinion on Global warming? 24. Opinion on Same sex marriage? 25. Opinion on legal marihuana? 26. Opinion on deforestation? 27. You’re now on a desert island! What three things do you take? Be realistic! 28. You are holding an infant in one hand and an old veteran in the other from a cliff, but you can save one. Which and why? 29. Fluff or Angst RPs? 30. Fanfic reader? 31. Pets? 32. Siblings? 33. Favourite film? 34. What are you doing? 35. Do you sleep often? 36. Ever had a nightmare? 37. Skype please? 38. Kik please? 39. WANNA be friends?! 40. We should talk more 41. Braces? 42. Preferred career? 43. Are you employed currently? 44. Do you receive pocket money? 45. Bank card? (Any) 46. Do you like iPhone? 47. Rock or hiphop? 48. Heavy shipper or few small ships? 49. Do you love your family? 50. Do I like your blog?

And extra depth: 51. Will we destroy our forests? 52. Will we ever find a renewable, efficient fuel? 53. Optimist, or pessimistic? 54. Malthus’ theory or Boserup’s theory on food relative to population? 55. Are we doomed to drive ourselves to extinction? 56. What will eliminate humans? Disease or war? 57. Are we alone in the universe? 58. Zombie apocalypse time, do you think the evil in humanity will be shown even in children? 59. Could you kill and why? 60. Have you ever wanted to cause a great harm to someone, or felt in the power to end their life in an action? EG in front of you on a cliff?

[got-a-sparerib]

(( This is exactly what Britain is going through since Big Ben fell silent... ))

[silly-storm-chaser]

♥ (( Blame khadajhin-unchained for this ))

She had been walking along the path when she felt herself get pulled to the side, no time to react when she felt something cover her mouth. After realising what was happened, she managed to get free of his hold, promptly slapping him in the face.

‘HOW DARE YOU?!’

[got-a-sparerib]

“Oi carn’t ‘elp it” Pudge said, desperately stumbling backward. Sure, he was immortal, and the most dangerous thing in a thousand miles, but that wasn’t to say getting stabbed didn’t hurt. The last thing he remembered was trying to clear The Library of Karnak, deep in the south of the Hazhadal Barrens. Next thing he knew, he was here, with a desperately furious child next to him. Something had gone deeply wrong...

[rizzrack]

*Blinks in and steals a mango*

As swift as the wolves of Icewrack (which isn’t impressively fast but still terrifying) the claw of the Timbersaw grasps the butcher’s arm and ensures he can see face-to-face with the small-keen’s death glare.

“Give. It. Back. Now.”

You just don’t fuck with a man’s mangoes.

[got-a-sparerib]

Staring at the small Keen’s ‘arm’ keeping him facing the Keen, Pudge shrugged mentally, and slashed through the stitches keeping that arm attached to his body. As the blood began to pump from the stump of his arm, Pudge raised an eyebrow at the small Keen, deliberately taking a large bite from the mango in his hand as he did so

[rizzrack]

The sight of the dismembered arm catches Rizzrack off guard, and he can’t help but let out an appalled yelp. In response the suit drops the limb onto the ground, and if it could, it’d shake off whatever bodily fluids happened to have dripped on its metal fingers. Gross.

Returning his attention back to Pudge, the small-Keen gasps an offended sound as he watches his precious mango fall to pieces by jagged teeth. He bites his lip and inhales sharply, FURIOUS.

“Ahem. Do you want to have a problem with me? Do you?”

[got-a-sparerib]

“I’ve ‘ad a problem wi’ you fer years” Pudge chuckled, a oddly difficult thing through a mouthful of half-masticated mango. Picking up his arm with a grace that seemed at odds with the shambling, terrifying creature that the Butcher undoubtedly was, he began sewing the arm back on, holding a line of needles in his mouth, passing over a powerful disinfectant when he was done. “Yer insanity’s too loud fer me likes” Pudge said with a grin

[rizzrack]

For Rizzrack, it never occured to the small-keen just how well-known he is across most parts. Years went with him unaware of how word goes about when he’s in town, and how residents grow annoyed at  having to burn tons of wood just so prices wouldn’t drop to such ridiculously low levels. Of course that’s never been the only problem either.

Rizzrack huffs and pouts, not quite pleased with Pudge’s remark (even less pleased at the loss of a mango) and he ensures his last remaining mango is tucked away deep in his suit where it won’t be snatched away as easily.

“Really now, that’s it? Well at least I’ve only got one noise complaint. You on the other hand, I’m sure you’ve had plenty of odor complaints.”

[got-a-sparerib]

“Odor?” Pudge said with a hurt look on his face “I spent years working out ‘ow ter weaponise a smell” He said with a wide smile. “It also ‘elps keep me cutlery polished” He said with a grin, handing the small Keen the disinfectant, gesturing for him to use it on the blood on the suit. “Sides” He said, idly beginnning to sharpen his hook, occaisionally swinging the hook, listening to the whistling as it grew sharper and sharper, cutting the air perfectly, “I don’ ‘ang around people enough ter get complaints. See, I KNOW I’m a monster from their nightmares. Seems like ye’ve still got ter learn that” He said, a almost pitying look on his face

[rizzrack]

Rizzrack grimaces as he holds out the bottle away from his body. He inspects it first, then reluctantly grabs a rag to soak some of the solution in before he begins to buff out the body fluids. Listening to the butcher, he’s quick to get offended. “Learn what? That I’m a monster? Puhlease.” He seals the bottle and tosses it haphazardly back to Pudge. “I’m the one who keeps the real monsters as nothing more than nightmares. And what do youuu do? Hmm? Roam around as some roadside attraction? I’d pay a good sum to NOT see you.”

It’s obvious the keen is still bitter over the loss of a mango.

[got-a-sparerib]

“Ye wander about wi’ enough blades ter destroy a horde” Pudge said affably “Y’destroy forests, th’ life blood o’ quite a number o’ villages in these parts, screaming about ‘ow th’ trees are out ter get ye” he snorted, a not-inconsiderable amount of venom in his voice. “Ter th’ folk ‘round these parts, yer more a monster than me. Me, oi kill a few o’ them if’n they go ter the mountains an’ oi’m ahungered, but ye? Ye destroy entire TOWNS wi’ yer shortsoightedness.” He said with a shrug

“Certainly, y’kill a few other monsters as well, an’ y’probably terrify enough o’ the monsters ‘ere that were they not bound by one of another o’ the Ancients, they’d flee back ter their burrows or nests” He continued “Me?” He asked, a massive, tombstone grin appearing like magic on his face “Oi ‘unt’s humans, smallkeen, dryads an’ any as gets in me way” he said with a loud laugh. “Oi keeps meself ter meself” he said, a uncharacteristic bitterness in his voice “Th’ people ‘ere only needs ter remember that monsters exist, they don’t need ter see ‘em, somethin’ ye en’t quoite grasped yet” He said with a another massive grin

[silly-storm-chaser]

What do you mean farmer country that belongs to the west

//One thing that East anglia is notorious for is for being is flat with semi-decent weather.

Hence it’s a good place to crop farming.

[baron-nashor]

Ive been told we’re the farmers, after all we got fucking Wales over here (I’ve just heard of us being the farmers.)

[silly-storm-chaser]

[baron-nashor]

Apparently I’m a self satisfied hippy.

[got-a-sparerib]

(( I’m either a wildling, or in an area where nobody lives... Goddamn, my early childhood makes so much more sense. ))

[got-a-sparerib]

eat me daddy uwu

(( i’ve had this blog for two years now and you’ve only JUST NOW done this incredibly easy joke? I’m disappointed anon... and so’s your mother, you never call. ))

“Foine” Pudge said with a smile, slashing through the Grey Mage’s tendons with a sickening smile, watching the Mage slowly bleed out, and ensuring that nothing, not even the smallest infection, ate at him, just to twist the knife home.

[rp-meme-glaceon]

Send a symbol, and I'll pick what I think fits my muse best

🐕- Dog breed 🐈- Cat breed 🦎- Exotic pet 🐋- Sea Creature 🐅- Wild animal 🐉- Mythical creature 🌳- Tree 🌼- Flower(s) 🍂- Season 🌗- Time of Day ⚡️- Weather 🍎- Fruit 🥒- Vegetable 🍱- Meal 🍙- Snack 🍰- Dessert 🍭- Treat/candy 💎- Gemstone 🗡- Weapon 🎀- Clothing 📖- Book/novel/story 🎵- Song 🎤- Musical/movie

[got-a-sparerib]

Getting to know you Questions for the Mun!

🎂- When's your birthday?

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦- What's your family like?

🐶- Favorite animal?

🔶- Favorite color(s)?

🎥- Favorite movie?

📺- Favorite TV show?

🎞- Favorite cartoon/anime?

🍔- Favorite food?

🍦- Favorite ice cream flavor?

🍭- Favorite candy?

🍸- Do you drink?

👣- What do you like to do in your spare time?

⚽️- Do you like any sports?

🎮- Favorite video game(s)?

⛪️- Are you religious?

⌛️- Last thing you did before logging in?

🎈- Share a childhood memory!

🛍- What was the last purchase you made for?

💸- If you had a billion dollars and could only spend it, what would you buy first?

🖌- Are you artsy?

❤️- How would you describe yourself?

💛- How do other people describe you?

⭕️- Favorite Pokemon?

💠- what is the Most expensive thing you own?

⚜- What is the most precious thing you own?

🐻- Do you have any stuffed animals?

🐝- Favorite season?

🐋- share a Weird/funny story?

[got-a-sparerib]

colour meme: champagne - songofthedeeps

(( No, Pudge does NOT drink alcohol. Can you imagine? At least a TON of inebriated flesh golem stumbling around mumbling about how tasty charred human is? It’s not a good look for him... He UNDERSTANDS alcohol, he’ll drink it, but it doesn’t actually DO anything to him, so why even start? ))

[got-a-sparerib]

11, 15, 29

11. Describe your ideal day.My ideal day would literally be wake up, read, eat, read again, possibly talk to friends, eat, sleep. I’m the most unfussed person I know lol.

(( As Pudge now ))Me ideal day’d be wake, feed m’dog, ‘unt, eat, mebbe read if’n oi gots the time, n’ see if anyone needs me ‘elp around th’ place. Usually they don’t though...

15. five most influential books over your lifetime. Hmm. First would be Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett, simply because it’s the first book I actually remember reading, at age 5 or so. Number 2 would be Waylander, by David Gemmell, because that book, and it’s two sequels are DARK. Literally the main character is an assassin who caused an entire country to go up in flames. It’s interesting only because the writer has such a hard time making this character likeable, while also showing the reader that the character is literally capable of murdering children without qualm. Number three would be The Name of the Wind, and it’s sequel The Wise Man’s Fear, by Patrick Rothfuss. Those books man. The first one is about a musician who basically is a savant at literally everything. It makes it believeable, however, because while he is massively intelligent, he’s a moron in so many ‘real world’ matters that it balances out. He can tell you that this person is nephew to a king, and that person’s going to become Space pope, or whatever, but he DOESN’T realise that these things have more power over people then his ability to tell you facts. The entire first book is also in iambic pentameter, which damn well blew my mind when I realised it. Number four would be a odd one, Great Military Blunders, by Geoffrey Regan. That book told me, aged 6, that I wanted to become a historian, and learn more about dumb fucking incidents in military history, and it was RIGHT. Number five would be God’s War - A new history of the Crusades, simply because that book is fucking amazing, and tells a incredibly sensitive bit of history with charm, compassion and very, VERY pointed wit.

(( As Pudge now ))Th’ book o’ the Dead in th Bleedin’ ‘Ills was a good book.... Don’ really ‘ave any influential books around, personally though...

29. On a scale from 1 to 10, how hard is it for someone to get under your skin?I’m an odd one, it’s quite difficult to get under my skin, but once you GET under my skin, you stay there for life. However, usually that event is because that person was a dick to a friend. You can insult me until the day I die, and while it’ll upset me, I’ll treat it in a manner of fun, like ‘what map-cap bollocks are they going to call me today?’, but you do the same to a friend? I’ll rip your insides out lol.

(( As Pudge now ))T’ain’t easy ter get under me skin, but if’n yer run too fast, or y’looks tasty, then y’going ter be under me skin faster ‘n you kin blink

[got-a-sparerib]

thumbdown! -songofthedeeps

(( Oh fuck off Anj lol. If Anj DIDN’T write this, then I’m so sorry to whoever DID write this lol ))

Another weakness Pudge has is his loneliness. I swear, you could literally go up to him, and ask him to commit genocide in exchange for a hug, and the fucker’d do it. Seriously, HE’S SO ALONE. He is sentient enough to understand the need for human interaction, but he’s so ugly, terrifying, and frankly ax-crazy that no-one’s going to spend time around him willingly lol.

[got-a-sparerib]

*thumbs down*

One major weakness pudge has is knowledge. he has very little actual knowledge of quite a lot of things. He could tell you the precise time to go hunting a exceptionally rare type of bird, but at the same time you could tell him the Mad Moon crashed while singing ‘Dies Irae’, and he’d believe you, because he assumes people are telling the truth at all times.

[sinnnieren]

Send me a 👎 and I'll tell you a weakness/flaw my muse has.

Ways to defeat them, things they are simply bad at, personality flaws etc

Add a topic if you want to know a flaw in a specific part of life

identity ask.........oh shit

if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?

list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.

do you like your name?  is there another name you think would fit you better?

do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?

are you religious/spiritual?

do you care about your ethnicity?

what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime?

are you an artist?

do you have a creed?

describe your ideal day.

dog person or cat person?

inside or outdoors?

are you a musician?

five most influential books over your lifetime.

if you’d grown up in a different environment, do you think you’d have turned out the same?

would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”?

what’s your patronus?

which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle?

would you rather be in Middle Earth, Narnia, Hogwarts, or somewhere else?

do you love easily?

list the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order.

how often would you want to see your family every year?

have you ever felt like you had a “mind-meld” with someone?

could you live as a hermit?

how would you describe your gender/sexuality?

do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the “real you”?

on a scale from 1 to 10, how hard is it for someone to get under your skin?

three songs that you connect with right now.

pick one of your favorite quotes.

[pennyroyalprincess-deactivated2]

first time I actually love these questions

[cookieflips]

these are the best questions in the world

[got-a-sparerib]

Stinky boy

(( ????????? ))

[got-a-sparerib]

colorful headcanons.

( send me a copic color for a headcanon )

frost blue: does your muse enjoy the snow and cold? or are they the type to enjoy summer more?

peacock blue: is your muse honest? what sorts of lies do they tell, if not?

lapis lazuli: does your muse prefer the idea of exploring the depths of the oceans, or the boundless expanses of space more?

reddish brass: how likely is your muse to step up and take the role of a leader? are they willing to take the challenge, or are they more apt to being a follower?

burnt umber: how stable is your muse, mentally and/or emotionally?

champagne: does your muse drink (alcohol)? are they a heavy drinker, if so?

tea orange: what is something that your muse is fascinated with?

malachite: has your muse ever done anything that they winded up feeling incredibly guilty for in the end?

olive: is your muse prone to feeling envious of others? if yes, what is it that they typically feel envious over?

vermillion: is your muse courageous, or would they consider themselves to be more of a coward?

coral: what is your muse's romantic and sexual orientations?

bougainvillaea: would your muse consider themselves as blunt, or do they beat around the bush instead?

currant: what's something that absolutely disgusts your muse (can be a person, place, thing, ect)?

crimson: how passionate is your muse about the things they love most?

raspberry: what food and/or drink can your muse not get enough of? do they indulge in it often, or is it something reserved for special occasions?

baby blossoms: does your muse have a favorite scent? what is it, and why?

mallow: what sorts of things might remind your muse of those close to them? any scents, objects, sounds?

aubergine: does your muse prefer the day, or are they more of a night-owl?

acacia: how much does it take for your muse to hate someone?

cadmium yellow: what subjects or topics does your muse avoid, because they bring up harmful / painful memories?

honey: when your muse loves someone (whether it be romantic, platonic, or familial love), how do they show it?

chartreuse: if you had to describe your muse with a color, what color would it be and why?

anise: when it comes to self-care, what does your muse do to take care of themselves? do they take care to spend time on it, or do they feel they don't deserve it?

new leaf: what message would your muse send to their past self, if any?

moss: how easily does your muse adapt to any new situations they're thrust into?

silk: does your muse care about appearances much? do they spend a lot of time on their own appearance, or do they just go with the flow each day?

sanguine: does your muse typically have an optimistic, pessimistic, or some middle ground outlook on life?

atoll: if your muse could go anywhere, without any restrictions whatsoever, where would they go? why would they go there?

cool grey: if your muse could ensure one thing for certain in their future to come, what would it be?

black: does your muse have a 'bucket list?' list some things your muse wants to accomplish before they die.

[got-a-sparerib]

(( It’s my birthday today.... I’M OLD, OH GOD ))