When your Missionary leaves around Christmas...
It has officially been 1 week since my boyfriend left on his mission and it has definitely been bitter-sweet. I would imagine that, for any girlfriend/boyfriend of a missionary, this would be a universal feeling- you are so happy and proud of them, yet you are sad to see them go. The first few weeks are always going to be the hardest, but soon enough it becomes the new normal.
The holidays are difficult times for many people- lots of stress for many different reasons. There’s exams to study for, financial problems, the stress of visiting family, etc. Now add on the fact that your significant other is in another country and all you can do is wait for their email or letter. For anyone that suffers from anxiety/depression, this can be almost too much to handle- believe me, I know. So what are some things you can do to help yourself and your missionary get through this? Here are some strategies:
1. Keep in contact with your missionary’s family (if possible)
Their child is in another country for the holidays so they are aware of what you are going through. They can be a great support for you and can help you to best support your missionary. After all, they know their child and they want whats best for them.
2. Have a close friend or family member that you can talk to
Having someone to confide in about your feelings is very important. Sometimes you just need to rant, vent, or cry to- an the person you would usually talk to is on their mission! Friends and family are your best supports and they want to help you with this. Keeping it all to yourself will only make things harder, and your missionary will feel it too. The more honest you are to the people around you, the better off you and your missionary will be.
3. Seek counseling/therapy
Everyone can use a therapist/counselor. We are all going through something and that is %100 okay! If you feel like you can’t handle the situation and your friends/family just aren’t enough, there is always a professional out there who can help you. If you feel like you just can’t afford it- there are free options. If you just can’t bring yourself to pick up the phone and call- there are people who are willing to help you with that. Any university campus or hospital will have services available for you. There is no shame in needing therapy!
Prayer can be quite powerful- sometimes we just need to place our struggles in God’s hands. Pray for strength (or whatever else you need) for both you and your missionary.
“Please turn to Him if you are discouraged and struggling for direction in your life. Armed with the shield of faith, we can overcome many of our daily challenges and overpower our greatest weaknesses and fears, knowing that if we do our best to keep the commandments of God, come what may, we will be all right.” -M. Russell Ballard
“Cast your burden on the Lord and He will sustain you. He will never allow the righteous to be moved.” -Psalm 55:22
I can testify of the power of a priesthood blessing. At my lowest point this past year, I sought a blessing and I have been much better for it. Don’t be afraid to ask- there is always a priesthood holder that is willing to help!
6. Talking with your Bishop or President
These are people with a calling to help members. Book an appointment with your Bishop or President and try to meet with them often (if possible). They can provide great advice/assistance.
7. Attend Church and the Temple
Going to the Church and the Temple is awesome! The Spirit is in these buildings and it can really help you through the tough times. Surround yourself with those who an help bring you closer to the Spirit -this will help you to bring the Spirit to your missionary!
Remember: just because it works for some doesn’t mean it will work for you. Know yourself and do what works best for you -its perfectly okay to be different!
Your Friendly, Neighborhood Goth Chick
