Youâre probably sick to death of me reblogging my GoFundMe post, trust me Iâm sick of reblogging it too. So Iâm making this one, which is an updated one, because a lot of thing have happened since I was admitted into the hospital with a mystery lung infection, the most important being I was discharged with a cancer diagnosis.
I have Stage IV Hodgkinâs Lymphoma.
Itâs spread to my lungs for sure, and I have a bone marrow biopsy next week as well as a PET scan to see where else itâs spread. Itâs not looking super great for me, though I havenât been given an expiration date and even if I do Iâm going to ignore it because I refuse to be taken out by something called lymphoma. I have an expected chemo start date of 4/27, if not 4/20, in order to aggressively fight this. Iâve already shaved my head ahead of chemo because itâs important to me that I take charge and be active in my treatment and my recovery so I donât just give up.
âStage IVâ is a scary phrase, and Iâll admit I had a bit of a breakdown after my oncology appointment because for all my nihilistic âjust let me die lolâ humor, being confronted with my own mortality is a heavy and hard thing to handle. I had another breakdown after taking the scissors to my hair to make shaving it easier, and yet another in the shower. Itâs good to cry and scream and let it all out because this sucks! This sucks so much! Iâm only 30, goddamn! Hodgkinâs Lymphoma is one of the most treatable cancers with a five year prognosis thatâs at least above 50% so statistics are in my favor right now. Even knowing this, sometimes I think about whatâs happening and I feel like Iâm going to start screaming and never stop.
Iâm not working; my funeral home made me redundant as the newest mortician on the seniority ladder, though I havenât been officially laid off or let go. At least then I could collect unemployment, so being stuck in this âhaving a job but not having a job limboâ sucks. I still have health insurance, which Iâm sure is a major contributing factor to why I havenât been officially laid off, but itâs still $200 every two weeks and without an income, obviously this sucks. Even when the shelter-in-place orders end and businesses are able to reopen like they were before the pandemic, Iâll be in the full swing of aggressive chemotherapy and unable to work so the shittiness continues.
Iâm asking for help, because I want to survive this.
Hereâs how you can help:
I have a GoFundMe here. So many people have already generously given and all the money is going to bills, bills, groceries, bills, rent, and medications.
If you would rather send something physical, I have an Amazon wishlist specifically for dealing with this here. I didnât actually know what to put on there so the first thing was cat food.
If you want to help but are broke as shit like me, reblogs are appreciated just as much.
If you made it this far, thank you for reading. Itâs a super crazy world out there right now so please stay safe and try to stay healthy.
prguitarman
stormborns
yousharknotpass
blakekathryn
dailybridgerton
