wtf is a jesus fern

it's the dollar store, how good could the gelt be? a blog about judaism because goyim don't research things.

[goyimguide]

an oddly specific feeling:  being jewish in the south

hi guys, long time no see, it’s me, lemuela (aka lulu, or lualhati, any of the three is fine). this isn’t really advice - or anything of it, and before i’d talk about it, i’d like to apologize for my absence. without getting into details, my health took a very dark turn for a while, but it’s all good now! but for a while i was really sick, and mentally couldn’t handle writing or explaining my jewish experience in detail, and i couldn’t give any of you my best, which is what you all deserve. 

for those of you that don’t know, i live in the south. mississippi, to be specific. i grew up in a small college town (i say grew up, i immigrated to the united states when i was 8, but that’s another story). this town had no synagogue. in fact, the closest one was 30 minutes away, and even then, my parents tended to work long weekend shifts at the hospitals, and we didn’t know anyone - we didn’t know anyone jewish, certainly. i also went to a private school - a private christian school. i don’t know why my parents thought that was a good idea, but i know the public schools were also not that great, so. i learned very quickly that kids are cruel, unintentionally, though. i was exempt from a chapel that happened once a month, and kids asked me why to my face, asked me if i didn’t believe in G-d. at this time, my english wasn’t good - it was self taught & my father taught, so i didn’t know how to explain i was jewish in words kids could understand, because i didn’t even understand. i still made friends, however. i remember case and karlee and aubrey and they became my protectors almost. but they still asked me questions, and when they got older - they called me their jew. a joke, no doubt. but it still hurt my feelings.

i moved when i was 12. not for bullying, or anything like that - i never told my parents, and i was going through other stuff too that’s very personal. my dad got a different job. so i moved. to a bigger town, still in mississippi. i had learned to hide my jewishness by this point - though it was not intentional. i just didn’t know how to be jewish, in a way. i went to a public school all through middle school and high school. and it was so much better. maybe because it was a bigger town, much bigger. and maybe because it was a public school. my best friends was a catholic boy named danny who i would later marry, a muslim girl named kathy who taught me how to ride a bike, a catholic girl named khloe who i’m still best friends with today, and rachel, who, from the ripe age of twelve, loved bobby flay so much i’m pretty sure that’s her religion. 

still, i didn’t go to synagogue. i didn’t know what i was supposed to do. i didn’t know how to celebrate my religion. it wasn’t until i was 16 i went to synagogue - i went with danny and rachel and another girl, and i felt safe. i started going weekly. during high school i also got my car egged and spray painted, and i got a swastika burned in my front yard.

i got a job when i was 16. there’s something to note about working when you’re in the south: you’re everyone’s business, customers will talk to you like they know you. i always worked sunday mornings, always the church crowd. old lady’s would tell me that jesus loves me, men would ask me why i was working instead of at church. this was polite conversation that made me uncomfortable, but in jewish. but the worst was with my managers, who loved me, and i loved them - but again, they would ask questions, and it would make me feel like i was in that private school again. or when i would mess up an order, drop food, one of them would roll their eyes and say fucking jew (of course - this is a joke, they laughed, but it still hurt). 

being jewish in the south is hard. it’s taking the pride that southerners have for everything they do and focusing that pride into hiding your religion. i live in the bible belt. i live closer to lousiana now, i live down near the coast where nobody gives a shit, it’s easier here. i say ‘i’m jewish’ and people want to learn, they respect and they don’t treat me like their token jew. i don’t know why my experiences vary like this - maybe because i’m older now. i’m more comfortable being jewish and expressing my jewishness. i still don’t have anyone i know that’s jewish. i don’t have a community here, the people that go to my temple are reserved and older. being jewish in the south is really isolating. i wanted to make this uplifting, but that’s just what is it. kinda isolating.

[pareidolian]

Hey Tumblr. In the wake of the horrific shooting at the Tree of Life synagogue yesterday, I, as a Jew, would like to say a few things. I ask that anyone who sees this post takes the time to read it.

First, if the events of yesterday came as a surprise to you, you have not been paying attention. Antisemitic incidents soared to their highest level in the U.S. in 2 decades last year, surging by 57%, and continue to rise. And according to the FBI, Jews are the targets of the most hate crimes motivated by religion, accounting for 54% of all hate crimes despite being only about 2.2% of the population.

This rising hatred of Jews is something all of us have seen and felt. From the bomb threat at my local Jewish Community Center in Louisville to the multiple vandalisms of the Holocaust memorial in Boston, I know I personally have become keenly aware of how much people hate me just for being Jewish. Even at my alma mater, Boston University, an institution with a very large Jewish population, antisemitic posters and fliers were found on campus numerous times during my 4 years. None of this is new to me.

Which brings us to the events of yesterday, when a man with a long internet history of extreme antisemitism and racism opened fire in the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh during a Shabbat service. He shouted “All Jews must die” during the shooting, which is in line with his previously stated belief that “Jews are the children of Satan.” He decided to try to kill as many Jews as possible due to the work of HIAS, an incredible Jewish American refugee organization that has been resettling Jews and other refugee groups since the 1880s. He blamed HIAS for “bringing in hostile invaders” and had previously posted that “It’s the filthy EVIL jews Bringing the Filthy EVIL Muslims into the country.”

This belief that Jews are foreign and are working against the U.S. (or whatever country they live in) is nothing new. It has been around for centuries. Now, it is not always shown by people explicitly naming Jews as the enemy, because even that would be too overt for most of those in the mainstream. Instead, references to “globalists,” “the international elite,” or many other thinly veiled allusions to some kind of sinister international plot by the Jews to take over the world are common on the right and the left. I urge all of you to open your ears to this kind of language, which many people have become accustomed to, and to speak out against it when you hear it. Antisemitism is not always a man with a gun, but it is always dangerous.

Finally, it is incredibly important to understand that yesterday’s events were not an isolated incident committed by one lone nut-job. It is part of a scary trend we are facing in the U.S. and around the world of rapidly escalating ethno-nationalism. But it is also just the latest event in a long history of antisemitism that is nothing new. Antisemitism never goes away, and assuming things have gotten better just because Jews aren’t being actively killed anymore (in the U.S. and which changed yesterday) just allows it to fester and grow.

I would like to end this very long and emotional post by asking all of you to stay vigilant about antisemitism. When you are thinking about groups that face extreme hatred, don’t forget about the Jews. It is 2018 and many people still hate me just because I am Jewish. I am never allowed to forget this, because doing so would be dangerous. There are times I have to remove my Star of David bracelet, which I have worn constantly for 4 years, because I know that it can put a target on my back. Yesterday just showed how right I and other Jews who have been warning about the dangers of rising antisemitism have been. Now is the time to listen to your Jewish friends, and to stand up against this hatred which has plagued us for so long.

מיר וועלן זיי עיבערלעבן

We will outlive them.

[geminifiles]

(x)

Celebrate Mercy and MPower Change have banded together to raise money for their Jewish brothers and sisters at Tree of Life Or L’Simcha Congregation, which was the target of Saturday’s attack. They started a campaign on the Muslim-focused crowdfunding site LaunchGood in the hopes of raising $25,000 for the synagogue victims and their families. They are now past $50,000.

reminds me of this, last year too: “Muslims Unite to Fix Jewish Cemeteries”

Which is kind of beautiful since the Tree of Life Synagogue was involved with the Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society. 

Solidarity in these times. We’ll fight antisemitism and islamophobia together, because fuck the Robert Bowers of this world.

[starlightomatic]

Saturday morning, on the 26th of October, a Nazi walked into a Pittsburgh synagogue, shouting “All Jews must die!” and opened fire. He killed eleven Jewish people, including grandparents, husbands, wives, and a doctor remembered for his compassionate care of his patients during the AIDs crisis. Several of them were there celebrating a baby-welcoming ceremony for a gay couple’s newly adopted twins.

This was the deadliest antisemitic attack in all 364 years of American Jewish history. Jews all over the world are shaken, upset, and scared. We know that this could have been any of us, but beyond that, this attack struck at the heart of our people. We were attacked in a place of safety and sanctity. We were reminded that as Jews, we are not safe in America. And we lost eleven Jewish souls.

Some of us are grieving, some of us are angry, some of us are devastated, some of us are numb, some of us are crying, some of us are terrified, some of us are anxious, and some of us can barely walk up the stairs because this doesn’t make any sense and yet it makes so much sense because we all, on some level, imagined this was coming. Our history has taught us that our safety is never guaranteed, and over the past two years we have watched the sickening rise of Nazism and antisemitism all over the world, including in America, where, despite our history, many of us had been lulled into believing it could never happen here.

We lost a third of the world’s Jewish population within living memory. So many Jewish families, in every country, fled antisemitic violence within the past few generations. The tragedy we just experienced is visceral, it’s terrifying, it’s devastating.

So please, check in on your Jewish friends and ask how they are doing. Please, take a moment to understand and absorb this tragedy. Please, understand how this is not just yet another mass shooting (that while theoretically tragic, you don’t really have the space for another one, what with compassion fatigue), but rather an attack that pierced the heart of a group of people already carrying centuries of pain and trauma. Please, make space for this one. Please, when you talk about this, don’t use generalized language about hate and about how no one should be killed for their religion. Please speak the words: Jewish. Antisemitic. Say this was an antisemitic attack, on Jewish people. And please, keep us in your thoughts today.

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

Provide much needed support to Tree of Life Or L'Simcha Synagogue. The community was targeted by shooter during a Shabbat morning Brit Milah celebration...

If you’re able, please donate. 

*It’s customary in Judaism to make donations in multiples of 18 as to bless the recipient(s) with good health and long life (the numerical value of the Hebrew word “chai” which means “life”), but by all means, just give what you can. 

[punishir-deactivated20231008]

Microsoft OneNote Notebook

hey, this is the document i was talking about earlier.

this is a onenote doc that contains the very, very, very basic stuff that us gentiles should know but don’t about judaism, and is absolutely integral for gentiles writing jewish characters - that includes characters with a jewish faceclaim. i put it together with help from the resources on @goyimguide, which i talk about and link to in the document.

please spread this and read it. it’s been condensed down to easy-to-read points, it’s color-coded and it’s been proofread three separate times. i have adhd and difficulty parsing text and i made it with disabled muns in mind.

[neglectedrainbow]

[goyimguide]

how does Judaism feel about polyamory? like, consensual, not forced or anything ofc, with no marriage occurring.

          polyamory is typically viewed the same way that “secular” ( or christian ) society views it. in other words, it can vary. while some people point to jacob having two wives or abraham conceiving a child through a woman other than his wife sarah as evidence that the torah supports polyamory, others argue that the torah speaks of a husband and wife pair more often. that being said , there is a large and active community of jewish polyamorous individuals. they even have an official email list. for more indepth information i suggest reading the following articles: x / x

-sofia

[goyimguide]

What’s some advice for a non-Jewish mun wanting to write a canon Jewish muse and wanting to do it properly and respectfully? Thank you!

hi! check out our RESOURCES page. there’s a link for almost everything there - we can help you better with specific questions. myjewishlearning has really good resources and information posts about anything & everything. general questions like these are very hard to answer --  JUDAISM IS VERY DIVERSE. a lot of our advice depends on how judaism affected / affects your character as a whole.

-lualhati. 

[goyimguide]

do you have any basic tips for a gentile trying to write a jewish muse? i've been trying to research as much as possible, but i would hate to get anything wrong out of sheer ignorance. any advice would be a big help, thank you in advance (both for reading/answering and for this blog in general!)

hi! check out our RESOURCES page. there’s a link for almost everything there - we can help you better with specific questions. like just off the top of my head, if you yourself are a gentile - don’t have your character say goy/goyim or ‘jew’… be careful when you chose your words - look into the stereotypes and how to avoid them. but if you have more specific questions we can give better advice. 

-lualhati.

[goyimguide]

guys uhh before you send an ask please check the RESOURCES page - sofia took time out of her day to find reliable sources for you guys, and if you just have ‘general advice please / tips’ ... look at the resources first. please. 

-lualhati.

[goyimguide]

I have a quick query! My family is Jewish by heritage but none of them practice or acknowledge, however I've been practicing since I was 20 (I'm 26 now). I've never been able to get in touch with a proper synagogue or temple and most of what I know I've taught myself. Are there any resources/books or websites you'd recommend to continue my learning? I love my faith and want to expand my knowledge as much as possible! Thank you ❤

hello there !! 

we have a resources page here with some good links to start off with ( x ). although it’s there , i’d like to single out myjewishlearning. just browsing through the website is a learning experience. i grew up going to hebrew school and temple and i still learn so much from them. if you have any more specific thing you’re looking for , i’m also happy to help !!

- mod sofia

[allofthefeelings]

L’shana Tova, Tumblr.

[goyimguide]

ethnic jewishness & faceclaims. 

hi, i really don’t have the energy or like.. just energy to be really upbeat or like super fun about this but when your face claim for your character is ethnically jewish:  you need to address it. not addressing it is erasure, rather it be intentional or not. your character can be ethnically jewish and not religiously jewish, that’s fine. if you wanna know how to write about that, i answered an ask that kinda divulges into it HERE. (but it’s very specific, i can make a more general post soon maybe). it’s important to acknowledge that aspect of your character - but if you are unsure about how their ethnic jewishness played into their religion, it ultimately comes down to you and how you interpret that character’s relationship with their religion as a separate entity with their ethnicity. (i.e. you can have an atheist character that’s ethnically jewish).

if you want to read about the different ethnicities within judaism, they’re listed on the resource page FOUND HERE. 

shanah tovah. 

-lualhati.

[goyimguide]

antisemitism is one word. spelling it like anti-semitism or anti semitism implies there’s a good kind of semitism. don’t do that.

[goyimguide]

i’m here ! feel free to send asks about anything - me and sofia are working through the ones in our inbox rn, and we’re gonna make some posts. don’t forget that we have a RESOURCES page, though. shabbat shalom.

- lualhati. 

[goyimguide]

modeh ani. 

modeh ani is a prayer that when you translate the name, means “i acknowledge”. it’s said first thing when you wake up, while you’re still in bed. what’s the point of this prayer? it’s a thanks to G-d for returning our soul to our body and gives us the gift of life because G-d knows that we are up to the task and will do good. it’s a very short prayer! 

the translation reads as “i give thanks to you, King living and eternal, for You have given me back my soul with compassion, Your faith in me is great / abundant.” 

another reason why the prayer is said right when we wake up is so that our first conscious thought is of G-d and of our faith in G-d. i, personally, really love this prayer, it makes me feel connected to my faith on a deep level each morning, and makes me feel very much safe and protected, if that makes sense. 

HERE IS A COOL WEBPAGE that can walk you through each part of the prayer, and the deeper meaning behind each part of it. it’s really cool.

- lualhati.