A vista de pájaro

Un viaje chileno de una vida: comienza. Mis fotos, pensamientos y sueños. Pásalo bien.

[gracexxhelena]

La última.

It was awhile ago that I said I was going to end this blog. Likewise, I will keep this post rather short and sweet, as opposed to how much detail I could put into it.

Life more or less got the best of me as soon as I got home. It has been a rather chaotic summer. I was running around to the point where I would only go on the computer once a week to do Google Plus meetings for my Alternative Fall Break Group. I was working part time, traveling a decent amount, recording a demo and trying to see as many friends as possible. And well, last week I made the move to Miami with my boyfriend. I had a super infection on top of moving my personal belongings and organizing the apartment, so needless to say, I have had a lot on my mind. 

But in spite of all this, I am going into this semester with a clear mind. Study abroad set me up for long-term success. But I don't say this strictly from getting good grades (which I miraculously did), improving my Spanish skills (which are still on par!) or from traveling in the country, or even from meeting new people. While all these things were awesome, study abroad most of all taught me to be confident in my capabilities and ambitions. I grew a passion while studying abroad to be, as cheesy as this sounds, a globally engaged citizen. I hope to realistically, and not just idealistically, be a part of a changing world. My research goals have evolved significantly and so have my ambitions in life. My future seems to be taking form, even with every hump in the road I have managed to hit. 

But possibly most of all, I learned to be a lot more comfortable in my skin. I know what my potential is, and I give what I can to try and even surpass those expectations. I still fight for self-confidence and self-assurance, but my identity seems to be less in frequent crisis. 

On a last note, I wish to not close off this blog entirely, for as seen in my previous posts, I will travel more and maybe this blog will develop into more of my general travel blog. I still keep a more personal travel journal, but this would be more for show to share my travels with family and friends. I will not write in this blog until or unless I deem it applicable. 

I hope that my blog has been a rather entertaining, showcasing and all-encompassing account of living abroad. 

Gracias por tu interés en lo que yo defino tan como: A Vista del Pájaro. 

Thanks for your interest in what I define as this: Bird's Eye View. 

[gracexxhelena]

Well this is all of us, our one picture that we all took together as a house during our stay in Chile. This was taken on our last night. We were having a joint feliz cumple, or birthday party, for Mara and a despedida, or farewell party, for me. This picture includes all 6 of us that lived in the house, our landlord and her sister that live in the lofted apartment in the backyard.

[gracexxhelena]

Mi despedida

Well here I am, sitting in the Toronto airport awaiting my connecting flight to Hartford. I probably will have a few closing posts as I think of more of what to say and reflect on in the upcoming week, especially since I do not have a lot of time at the moment to type out everything I want to say. I wanted to write my closing post when I was in Chile, but to be honest I was having so much fun with my friends that I didn't want to spend my time on the computer. 

But this is a picture from my last day in Chile of the Andes mountains. <3  I miss them already. 

[gracexxhelena]

Aniversario de 4 meses

Technically today marks 4 months of being in Chile. However, since I leave in 3 days, I will write a combined 4 month wrap up/conclusion post over the weekend. Until then, I'm going to fight through my last final and group project, pack and have a lot of fun with my friends. 

[gracexxhelena]

Nada es más en clase que...

taking my philosophy final with a hangover this morning. 

Oh yeah, good life decisions yeah. 

[staypozitive]

[gracexxhelena]

In relation to my previous post. 

[gracexxhelena]

Te extraño

I have spared the drama of spewing word vomit on my blog these past four months about how much I miss my boyfriend, Seth, but I think it is important to note my experience of being in a long-distance relationship during my semester abroad.

Preparing to leave for my abroad experience was strenuous. I  mean, we are not unfamiliar to long distance. After all, he continued to date me when I was in Miami and he was in Massachusetts. But taking this leap abroad was like plunging into the unknown. And on top of all of that, him and I were waiting for arguably one of the biggest pieces of news our lives: Whether or not he would get accepted into the University of Miami. We were trying to pull the strings together of our relationship and find a way to permanently be together, while at the same time  trying to mentally prepare ourselves for the black hole that is my study abroad. And at least when I was in Miami, he could readily come visit me for a weekend and we could call each other everyday. But he knew I was going to travel and try to absorb the culture in Chile as much as possible to make my experience worthwhile, which meant he knew our conversations would be more sporadic and less frequent. 

He was supporting of me through all of it and he knew that I could not sacrifice my dream of studying abroad just to stay in the US where life is easier. Nevertheless, hugging him goodbye was aggravatingly painful. It was like leaving my other half behind.  

When I arrived to Chile, I received a lot of criticism and praise for the feat I was undertaking. Some people claim that dating people/hooking up with people abroad characterizes the study abroad experience, especially with a local since you can learn more about the culture and language of where you're staying. Others were super supportive and wished me the best. 

Because truth be told, some people were quick to judge. And while I recognize that what I'm doing may seem like a naive young girl in love, I know what I want him. He's the one that I want and I was willing to stand firm on my ground when having these arguments here in Chile about the integrity of my relationship. My age does not define my relationship, but my maturity about it does. And I knew I was taking a risk by staying with him but I had to take the risk. We are worth it. 

Ultimately, we had our ups and downs, but for the most part it has been ups. I emphasize that the most important factor about maintaining a relationship is fostering good communication skills--and that is not dependent on how often one talks to the other one rather how well they communicate.

And Seth and I are really good at communication. We were fortunate with our schedules and time zone proximity (how did I travel across the world and end up on the same time zone as the US eastern coast I still have no idea) to Skype multiple times a week, but we often went multiple days without talking to each other on Skype. We always found time to send a quick email or Viber text just like a "Hey thinking of you" to show we still cared. And snail mail of course also helped.

And if we had an argument on Skype or through Viber, we would always work it out and explain what happened, why we were agitated and apologize. And contrary to criticism, my identity is not compromised by my boyfriend. We collaborate and share a lot with each other, but I still have my own hobbies, friends and interests that are separate from him. And he does the same with me. Thus, we were able to live our own lives on separate continents but nonetheless keep each other informed as to what was going on. 

Some people had their significant others visit them during their semester abroad. But me, I wanted this to be my own unique experience. I wanted that sense of independence that I could build a life on my own without having the presence of someone I love from home. My boyfriend understood  that and respected my decision. And ultimately, I feel so much stronger for doing it and standing my own two feet in Chile. 

It was important to be fair to myself and my emotions. There have been moments here where I see a good looking guy and be like "Yeah, on a physical level I could imagine myself hooking up with him". But I never would and have never come close to doing that because I am too in love with my boyfriend to do that. A lot of people would try to repress that impulse and become manically depressed with their long-distance relationship, or act on the impulse and naturally cause unrest in their relationship. I kept a good balance and never cheated on my boyfriend while I was here, even when Chilean men insisted "Estái in Chile, y tu pololo está a través del mundo, pues nadie necesita saber" ("You are in Chile, and your boyfriend is across the world so no one needs to know.") 

I do not want to make myself seem like a martyr for my love if you will. My situation is not necessarily unique. There are plenty of couples I have met here in this situation. Some have failed, some have succeeded, and some are friends with benefits and are lingering on some indefinable plane in their relationship. But for Seth and I, we made it through the storm, and I am ecstatic and hyper actively nervous to jump into his arms again next week. 

Especially since after all, we had our happy ever after, and we are moving in together in Miami this fall <3. 

Gracias por todo tu apoyo durante mi travesía por buscar a mis sueños y mi identidad. Te amo.

[gracexxhelena]

¡Habla más! ¡Habla más!

As hard as it has been sometimes, I look back and have enjoyed living in Santiago for the obvious factor of being able to practice Spanish everyday. I feel like my grasp on Spanish grammar has improved significantly and I learned plenty of new vocab words. However, I recognize that Spanish for me is always going to be a work in progress and I will never be "finished" learning it so to speak. 

As I prepare for my homecoming to the states, I am trying to think: Now what with my Spanish? 

I have been formally practicing Spanish for 8 years now in school. I have one more Spanish class I need to take for my major and then after that my Spanish requirements are complete. Therefore, I have to find ways to continue speaking and learning the language so that way I do not become rusty. 

But thankfully, I am in luck for a variety of reasons. For starters, I know when I get home I have access to spanish tv networks and spanish radio stations. I will put on spanish tv while I'm cooking dinner or spanish Pandora stations while I sit at my computer at work.

Then there's online. Aside from reading Facebook statuses from my spanish-speaking friends and reading news in spanish, I also have Livemocha to help me. Livemocha is an online language learning website that is a mix of Rosetta Stone and Facebook (they actually just partnered with Rosetta Stone and they are affiliated with Facebook). The website is good for learning practical spanish, and I hope to continue utilizing that to my advantage. I also have this setting where spanishdict.com sends me a Spanish word of the day to my email account. And what I do with all my vocabulary words from Livemocha, spanishdict, Spanish lyrics, etc. is I put them all into this cuadernito, or little notebook, I have that I carry around with me and use to memorize words. It definitely helps! 

Fortunately, I am returning back to Miami...aka little Venezuela, Colombia and Cuba. I have plenty of friends that speak Spanish so I hope they will put up with me and speak to me in Spanglish. I also have to continue helping my boyfriend learn elementary Spanish so that will help me brush up on my basics. There's even a chance that my landlord next year is a Spanish speaker so I may be able to talk to her in Spanish as well.

And as part of my major, I am required to have to do an internship. Well, I am requiring for my own standards that I only want to have an internship where I can actively be speaking Spanish. I want to have the skill set of speaking spanish in the workplace and it would be a great way to keep practicing!

Finally, I hope to ultimately do research for my field in spanish. 

And not to mention, returning back to South America (¡de acuerdo!) If all goes well I will be traveling to Cuzco in March of 2014. But if that does not work out well, I will figure something out. 

My other debate right now is how seriously I should continue learning Portuguese. I started taking Rosetta Stone and Livemocha classes for Portuguese. I definitely want to learn Portuguese so I can travel to Brazil and maybe even work with Brazilian immigrants in the Northeast of the US, by Boston or NYC. But I am not sure if I should start taking classes at my university or just make it a hobby on the side to learn. 

I will make that decision when the time comes. For now, I hope to further embrace Spanish into my life and continue practicing it on a daily basis. 

[gracexxhelena]

El proceso para preparar por "reverse culture shock"

I am slightly frightened to come home. What scares me the most is coming home and have all my surroundings look so familiar that it will seem as if I never left...as if this was all just a sueño or dream. I am definitely going to stay preoccupied this summer with adjusting back to the US; visiting all my friends and family; work; recording a demo with my band; going to Cape Cod,  Maine and New York City; and traveling cross country from Massachusetts to Miami. 

Yet the thought of sitting in my office chair at work and staring at the ever-so-familiar parking lot is rather terrifying. I do not want to feel like my life is a lie. I hope that at least going to Miami will make me feel like my life is not crystallized in time like I might start to feel at home if I allow myself to fall into old patterns.

No one seems to emphasize reverse culture shock. But I think it's rather important for me to remember as I prepare for my parting days in Chile.  

[gracexxhelena]

Nada más podrí más precioso o cabe la situación ...

 para marcar mi ultíma semana en Chile que el arco iris que se estiraba arriba de los Andes y a través de la ciudad. 

Stay beautiful Santiago: Here's to my last seven days in Chile. 

[gracexxhelena]

Hasta cuando las hojas cambien colores, y cayan de los árboles, es difícil para entender el movimiento de tiempo en que he experimentado.

Tengo ocho días más en Chile y como he estimado, me estoy sentiendo una mezcla de sentamientos. Quiero regresar a los EEUU, pero no es justo que mi tiempo para viajar ha terminado demasiado rapído. Estoy en negación que me voy en casi una semana. Solamente esta experiencia me ha permitido que tengo que comitir para viajar más en mi futuro...no hay una otra alternativa.

Durante mis momentos finales áca en Chile, yo di cuenta que la tierra sea tan bella así como es un cartel literal en mi vida cotidiana para reclamar mi identidad en este mundo, en esta realidad por la causa de entender mi vida. Entonces, yo juro que tengo que realizar mis sueños para viajar más después de este viaje porque el mundo es precioso y solamente yo vi un pocito de lo que yo pueda ver. 

[notorious-posts]

Click for the most hilarious, relatable gifs.

[gracexxhelena]

I feel like this is how I have to describe South America to some people. 

[gracexxhelena]

Diez días más...

¡Voy a extrañarlos!

[gracexxhelena]

La apreción por mis amigos de los EEUU

It is not that I am super crazy homesick, but I am missing my friends from home hardcore. Aside for not seeing them for four months, I am excited to reenter their lives again. Even if I am in Miami I still feel like I can pick up my phone and call any of my friends from Massachusetts and vice versa. Or I can send them a text message. And I usually travel between the two places with regular frequency so I feel more informed about their lives. I know my real friends understand why I am studying abroad and respect my decision accordingly. They know I am not forgetting about them. But that does not change my desire to want to be part of their vidas cotidianas again, or daily lives. 

Don't get me wrong, the friends that I have made from study abroad are awesome. But truthfully, study abroad students bond knowing that their friendship is temporal and in the moment for the most part. I am craving to be a part of my friend's lives again in my continuous identity so to speak as opposed to my temporal identity here in Santiago. 

Thankfully, I do recognize that the best of friends will forever be eternal, regardless of distance, but it is undoubtedly nice and necessary to rekindle these relationships. 

[gracexxhelena]

Atacama por siempre <3 

[gracexxhelena]

La costa de Isla De Pascua 

[gracexxhelena]

Mis viajes del futuro

Studying abroad has definitely made me think more about my future trips and travels. 

There are a lot of exchange students that I know who are going to Argentina, Uruguay, Bolivia, Peru and/or Ecuador after the semester ends since it easier to travel to these countries physically and financially speaking if they are already in Chile. However, I do not have the money to make this kind of investment and feel comfortable about it at this time in my life. And I'm ok with that. 

I do have a few minor trips coming up during whatever remainder of Summer 2013 that I have. My boyfriend and I (Seth) are most likely driving up to Maine to visit his cousins and then camp somewhere the two of us. And then I am doing an epic X-Country trip from Massachusetts to Miami so I can move my car down there. I have never traveled and seen the countryside more south than Virginia, nor have I ever had a cross country ROAD TRIP! I am super stoked. 

After that, I have a few different travel options.

For starters, I am funded by my master's program to go to Central/South America two times. If all goes well, my next trip will be to Cuzco, Peru during the spring break of 2014. I hope I will be able to go to central America, like Panama or Costa Rica. I think the study abroad faculty is restructuring their programs for Central America so when the time comes I will figure out what other country I will be traveling to. 

I also am trying to leave the possibility open of traveling somewhere to research my master's thesis. I will probably have to start researching during the summer of 2015. I am strongly returning back to southern Texas to work with LUPE, La Union de Pueblo Entero, a union I worked with during my University of Miami Alternative Spring break program in the spring of 2012 that supports immigration rights and reform. The communications/social media director told us that if we have interest down the road, we could potentially contact the organization and a family may be willing to offer a homestay for volunteers or researchers. I still have his Facebook and he is active on his account so I hope next year I can contact him and see if I can return to McAllen/San Juan Texas. 

Then there are my trips for pleasure. I plan to save my money for the next 2-3 years so Seth and I can backpack in Ireland and England. Him and I have both traced back our Irish family heritages (don't worry, we're not that directly related in case that was a concern) and we want to reconnect with our roots so to speak. And from what I hear backpacking in Ireland is super cheap and easy, especially if you stay with Couch Surfer families or hostels. That is definitely a trip I want to make by 2016. 

I also made a point to my father that I want to go on a trip with him when I graduate from my master's program instead of having a party and all that hyped up bullshit. I told him I want to go to Alaska for the summer of 2016. I have always been captivated by the wildlife and landscapes of Alaska. I feel like I could find peace with myself there. 

I am also listing off a few more trips that I want to do, but these are less planned in my immediate five year span of my life: 

1. I also know that I must return to Chile. I never got to see the southern part of the country and I only saw the Atacama Desert when I was here in terms of land up north. I hope to make my way backpacking through Chile and eventually finish in Torres del Paine. I would want to do this before I have kids since backpacking trips are not as accessible once one has children usually. 

2. I also am starting to break my fear about going to Argentina and Brazil. I would not want to travel alone due to the security issues, but I am pretty positive I want to see that area of the world within one trip. I do not know when I would do this, all I know is that I want to continue my regiment with Portuguese because if I went to Brazil I actually would want to learn some of the language. I know basic Portuguese but I want to be at elementary level before I go. 

3. Then there's the American west coast. I am super obsessed with rocky coastlines which is what this part of the country is geographically known for having. I have this overly romanticized dream of taking a road trip from San Diego to at least Seattle, if not Vancouver and back (especially Seattle I NEED SEATTLE I have needed to see that city for way too long). Since I am planning on applying to a few schools on the west coast for my doctorate (University of Washington and University of Southern of California) I might be able to do this trip with relative ease if I end up living on the west coast. But if not I want to rent a car in California and just do it .

4. I also must not forget my Iceland honeymoon fantasies, and I keep my fingers crossed for that. 

5. My horseback riding trip here in Santiago has encouraged me to research more into horse trekking across the Rocky Mountains. When Seth and I were in Halifax last summer we saw an advertisement for a travel group that does travels like this. I would LOVE to do something like that and be all earthy crunchy seeing the Rocky Mountains. 

6. I want to go on a meditation retreat. There are so many of them that I do not know which to choose! It would be something I want to do when I feel ready in my meditation practice to undergo a rigorous physical and mental journey like that. But I am determined to go. 

7. In addition have met people from some really cool places in the world--like Finland, Puerto Rico and Australia, but I am not sure I could finance visiting people from all of these places. Especially in regards to my Venezuelan friend that is almost definitely moving to Denmark, I would LOVE to go there but flights are super expensive and I do not know if I would get the chance to go out there. 

But at least there is a compromise when it comes to seeing some of my international friends. Like my Finnish friend is actually dating someone from Springfield Massachusetts, which is essentially my backyard, and I will see her this summer towards the end of July when she comes to visit him and her friends in the area. And then my Venezuelan friend has connections to Miami through her father (of course, since Miami is mini Venezuela). And then there is just the happiness of meeting these people of course and knowing that a part of their culture rubbed off on me. That alone is fulfilling. 

What is the point of this long ass post? I may not be a super epic traveler that makes it a point to never be committed to an area and merely live for traveling. And I know that I may die before I accomplish all I want to accomplish and see all it is that I want to see in the world. But I have my goals and going abroad has made me learn how to prioritize and plan accordingly. Studying abroad has also forced me to be less afraid of the unknown. Granted, I still need to apply common sense and not be stupid about how and where I travel but I feel less afraid of all the bad that could happen to me and instead focus on all the beauty of the experience. Because when in doubt, the places matter, but the people I will meet, the people I will travel with and the reasons for why I travel are what really matters, as opposed to merely checking off places on a map simply for novelty or bragging rights. 

Three cheers to my future and all of its ups and downs; its financial insecurities and emotional highs; its chaos and serenity and everything in between.