on the reel...this is real

Scholar-life lessons that carry me forward...or a few steps back.i'm learning either way.

[graeblue-blog]

Subtraction

First you lose yourself Then you lose everyone else It's fast It's painful It's life. That's life.

[graeblue-blog]

Hope does not float And apparently Love doesn't either -Graeblue

[graeblue-blog]

why does the sun feel so good when you feel so down its like energy pounding you frown upside and around not into a smile but a least a smirk as a blue jay or pigeon takes shit on your shirt don't  you just love the outdoors now you've got sadness and good luck fuck.

graeblue

[graeblue-blog]

people should come with labels maybe it would help we see them on an object and follow the guidelines in real life we dismiss them as lies "handle with care" "fragile" "explosive" perhaps humans aren't much different a label to warn the next participant our next partner or friend 'i was just broken and shattered into a million pieces by someone who said trust me. can you please try to treat me with some kindness and care? i just need someone who isn't an asshole to be here?' maybe just a small label instead. 'Just glued,gimme time to set. I'll be almost brand new.thank you' shorter. hwc. human labels.coming soon...

graeblue

[graeblue-blog]

not sure what i want to do feel lost, felt ashamed feel john coltrane kind of blue lost the confidence i had =============== feel stuck its sad those fake memories were just lies created specially for me my life was a etch a sketch never real in the end years we spent drawing lines and connections organic lies in the sand

graeblue

[graeblue-blog]

need some time to recover found out i lost my lover turns out it was all a game wasted all that time what  a shame

graeblue

[graeblue-blog]

today i lost 174 pounds of broken promises and lies feels good now to be back alive.

graeblue

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swim away swim good float on  wish i could

graeblue

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blocked deleted erased making more room for love in this place.

graeblue

[graeblue-blog]

walk away slowly never look back who says that we all look back those are memories scars from being burnt to the second degree  need that past close i need it nearby if i don't have it near i'll  say goodbye

graeblue

[graeblue-blog]

how do you erase the life you lived with horror and disgrace can't tell you i'm trying now i've got a pencil with now blood eraser and no will or know how i write the story of my life in pen as if i will never fuck up again its courageous or stupid i think  its the first i've not learned my lesson damn it i think i've got more than a curse

graeblue

[graeblue-blog]

to be real you need to be your own superhero no one like your realness they prefer to be greeted with fake smiles   a wink and a kiss you can't be weak  you must be strong don't walk around acting like you've got it going on be honest,  it's hard people will hate you take you for having total disregard. but do they want realness or the fake versions of social lies and bullshit? put together with lies and glue i prefer to be real not made up shit to please you. its lonely, yes, but i'm here i'm not fake and i'm proud i can say 'fuck you!' out loud i don't have to smile  if i really don't want to i'll just walk off , walk by  and say," i'm leaving, i don't give a fuck about you!"

graeblue

[graeblue-blog]

saw road kill today thought of me in a funny way each road my day i cross sometimes don't look both ways i trust someone will help me if i'm caught and get stuck i think damn it he left me now i'm incredibly fucked left on this road people pass and they see don't stop to help or ask questions just saying, thank god it wasn't me

graeblue

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i've heard this sad song its playing all night long its the track to my life its on repeat again i'm still no one's wife its a catchy tune it has a good beat it's purple now from being played on repeat

graeblue

[graeblue-blog]

trust is like a life of fresh bermuda grass. gorgeous to see and soft to touch. but you step on it and every blade you crush. traces of your presence is everywhere. every blade is now down. horizontal stretches parallel to the ground. nurture be kind don't trample over its mine you'll leave a good mark  i can't forgive  i can't forget my life has be changed i'll live with regret

graeblue

[graeblue-blog]

quiet moments are the scariest times of the day my mind is present in a frightening way

graeblue

[graeblue-blog]

barefoot. the connection is there my soles hit the earth no barries today i feel my worth the coolness left behind each blade greeting calming down my mind i look to the sky and see a radiant source of life beaming down on me electrons of life energy i need i'm stepping on life dang it. sorry

greablue