slow and steady

28.

[grandmastrawberry]

disordered side blog

following from main

[grandmastrawberry]

I must avoid donuts at all costs and go to bed

I've been getting 4 every time i go lately

I usually eat 3 right away and have 1 for later

that is too many donuts in one day

[grandmastrawberry]

what in tarnation

[grandmastrawberry]

now I'm going on about nonsense maybe I am due for sleepytime

[grandmastrawberry]

get a load of this guy

idk who

just some guy

[grandmastrawberry]

if i stay up an hour and a half longer I can have donuts hmm

this is why I'm fat

[grandmastrawberry]

I'm so scared me and my crush are gonna hang out this weekend

and because I'm so scared about it, I think it probably wont happen, and that comforts me

it felt awkward to Not ask to hang, like we clearly both want to

but also do we? what if i thought he was being flirty, what if he Said he wanted to get together multiple times, but it was all just nonsense jabber just to talk?

oh god I'm also so ugly and insecure at all times, idk how to exist in the same space as someone I'm attracted to without having it all on full display

but the more time passes, the harder itll be to conquer that, so I need to just suck it up

if it goes bad, that's life, we rebuild and get over it

ugh but I'm still rebuilding from everyone before him ugh I hate myself

[grandmastrawberry]

430am and I'm about to sleep, who am I?

exhausted

I am exhausted

nice to meet you

[grandmastrawberry]

"a lot of times

we are angry at other people

for not doing what

we should have done for ourselves"

[grandmastrawberry]

I'm not gonna make it until 6am

but maybe I can nap and wake up early for donuts instead

or just sleep a full night's rest, wake up early enough in the day to get some

ha

as if

[grandmastrawberry]

taco bell had me feeling so full all day today despite eating it last night and now here I am wanting donuts

[grandmastrawberry]

4am do I stay up until 6am to end my fast with donuts

I'm so tired

but i also want donuts

[grandmastrawberry]

I find myself wanting to go to bed earlier because then I'll get to talk to him sooner

[grandmastrawberry]

finally complimented my crush after hes complimented me a million times and I'm so nervous about what his response will be ahhhhh

we also danced around the hang out question...literally both of us, right around it

and then he told me hes off until tuesday

so i just said fuck it and told him if hes free this weekend let me know

and i am so ashamed of myself

[grandmastrawberry]

finally played a bit of stardew, it's cute

[oxypill]

mommy and daddy issues

[grandmastrawberry]

2 more hours and I just tried to spell more like mour and tried like tryed so that is how I'm hanging in there