hey guys. Do you need a tutor for your classes?
Services i offer include:
showing up at least 5 minutes late to each session
scratching my head and going "i don't knowwww" if you show me an integration problem
pacing back and forth and telling you that i'm listening but after you're done explaining what you need help with i make eye contact with you and go Huh?
scratching my head and going "i don't knowwww" if you show me a thermodynamics cycle problem
perfectly explaining the only thing you understand from the entire unit but drawling out real long "ummmmm"s for the things you don't get
looking at my phone while you're doing practice problems and if you listen really close you can hear Cut The Rope music
taking a phone call 1/4th of the way into the session and saying it'll be really quick but by the time i'm done we've got 10 minutes left
beating the everloving shit out of you if you show me a work-energy problem
calculating how much of this tutoring counts towards my required hours of community service
asking you "hey you don't mind if i eat in here right" and open mouth chewing my peanut butter and banana sandwich
stopping the session halfway through to make us do the wordle together and if we lose i sulk at my desk for the rest of our time
asking you for synonyms throughout the session and saying it's just to keep you on your toes but it becomes increasingly clear as time passes that i'm just doing the daily crossword
asking you "are you mad at me" when i get the problem we've been working on together wrong for the fifth time
discussing internet fandom drama but trying really hard to make it sound like it's NOT internet fandom drama but it's still obvious
calling for a "brain break" and pulling out a first grade coloring activity and that one big pack of crayola crayons with the sharpener on the back
If this sounds like your kind of tutoring method...... CALL ME NOW
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