it's time to make your references yall...June moves faster than you think...

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@demonboyhalo
it's time to make your references yall...June moves faster than you think...
Gomez and Morticia Addams got divorced. I woke up mortified and with a sense of inexplicable dread.
you literally donโt need any other plot and i would watch the movie
Every 'normal' adult is fussing around Pugsley and Wednesday because "poor children that must be so hard for you to see mom and dad break up like this"
But the kid are absolutely unfazed, arguing that "it's alright they will be together again soon". The normie are so sad for the "children clinging to vain hopes" until Morticia and Gomez get married again two weeks after the divorce.
In the meantime Mama and Uncle Fester fight about which one of them will go to whose custody.
They pretend to argue in court and at meeting with lawyers over the splitting of the properties but that's mostly Gomez insisting to leave more and more thing to his wife in an angry voice.
At home they decided not to talk to each other so Lurch has to (begrudgingly) transmit messages from one to the other, even when they are sat on either side of the table.
That works (more or less) then Morticia says one word in french and Gomez run to cover her with kisses until Morticia remind him that they are spliting (that's the only moment he seems to regret the whole thing)
This. All of this.
Wednesday offers to help with split custody of Pugsley. her suggestion involved a big table saw
They fight over who gets to hire the expensive big-firm lawyer and who gets to hire the up-and-coming rookie divorce lawyer. It's a whole Thing.
The up and coming lawyer is Thing?
rocky always yells โenrichment for grace! enrichment for grace!โ when he has a new invention to make the humans time more interesting on erid. grace, while appreciative, replies โI know Iโm in a zoo enclosure but could we maybe not call it that? I feel like a bear getting thrown a pumpkin covered in peanut butter.โ rocky simply gives him a thumb, not wanting to explain that a significant amount of the population sees grace as the celebrity savior scientist who rocky keeps as a controversially young trophy wife and publicly lavishes in gifts
actually fucking disgusting that glasses cost any money like if you actually think about it for more than a few seconds it is so unconscionably inhumane. this goes for things like insulin and mobility aids and hearing aids too ofc but fuck man, fucking glasses? the thing you need to fucking see? its genuinely sickening and inhumanly evil that those cost ANYTHING.
โscientists donโt want you knowโ is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know
every major structural social problem right now is basically "we don't have enough skilled workers on the ground" and the reason is always "well we've been intentionally underpaying and understaffng them for decades to increase corporate profits" and somehow the news always just mentions the "shortage" without digging into the cause
air travel is a mess? shortage of air traffic controllers - for some mysterious reason
logistics a mess? shortage of truck drivers - for some mysterious reason
public transit can't meet demand? shortage of bus drivers - for some mysterious reason
We even mysteriously have shortages of doctors, nurses, teachers... FOR SOME MYSTERIOUS REASON
FUCKING PAY PEOPLE AND HIRE ENOUGH STAFF
One of my favorite tropes is post apocalyptic towns being named after dilapidated signs with missing letters, like Novac (no vacancy) and Eaden (dead end). Thereโs something inexplicable about it
catch me in the city of fre shavaca do
collection of useful things tumblr has taught me:
even if you can't fall asleep, laying down with your eyes closed will still rest your body
you don't have to brush your teeth standing up
you don't have to do any chore standing up, from dishes to showering
you don't have to shower with the lights on
if you can't brush your teeth, flossing and a tongue scraper gets rid of plaque and bad breath
if you can't do that, mouthwash kills a lot of bacteria
eating "unhealthy" food is better than eating no food
you can make the same meal everyday for however long you still want it
some pills come in syrups or chewables if you can't swallow them
kids nutritional shakes can be a quick way to get fuel if you can't eat/don't have time
if walking hurts/exhausts you on a regular basis, canes and rollers are for you, no matter how young you are
we have free willโif doing something "out of the ordinary" makes life easier for you, do it
If it's worth doing, it's worth doing halfway. If you can't eat a whole sandwich, eating just some of it (or anything, really) is better than nothing. If you can't brush your teeth, swishing water around your mouth helps more than doing nothing. If you can't drink plain water, drinking seltzer or tea or anything is better than drinking absolutely nothing.
Incomplete tasks are better than no tasks at all.
ADDING MORE!
if folding your clothes prevent you from doing laundry, just toss them clean in the wardrobe. better to have a mess inside the wardrobe than in your entire room.
if you cant shower, washing your face in the sink and using wet wipes in your pits & groin is better than nothing
if washing your hair is too exausting, try bringing your head down to your hands, instead of keeping your arms up
you dont have to put on outside clothes to go outside. you can go outside in pajamas if you dont have the energy to change clothes. its fine and legal
if oral care seems too intimidating, try doing it in the shower. combining tasks helps avoid the paralysis of having to do too many tasks
you dont have to do anything fast. you're allowed to take as much time as you need
the problem with genetically modified crops is not so much the genetic modification but the patenting of genetic codes (and crops in general) as a tool of maintaining agricultural imperialism, and for this reason I can't talk to most people about GMOs
the fight comes sooner than you think...
everyone shut da fuck up this is the only thing that matters
Oh My God Damn
[publishing research thesis] lol is this anything
i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic
rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich
If you stay up late to hang out with friends I donโt think you should have to be tired in the morning. I think it should be a freebie