ghost heart

GHOST HEART Yeah, there's so much history in these streets... Swallow nostalgia, chase it with lime Grayson Fischer. 26, just a rainy sky at dusk living on wrightsville beachYeah, it seems I'm never letting go Of suburbia

[grayfischer]

arlofischer

Arlo looked at Gray as she sniffled and wiped the tears that were welling up in her eyes. She had worried about how he would react once she told him. Her mother’s words echoed in her head as normal, repeating over and over as a constant reminder. “Yeah, a um…a baby. A little boy.” She said and smiled softly, glad he had a better reaction than she thought he might have had. “How? I am pretty sure you can figure out how babies are made. But uh. Do you remember Hunter? It was him. I thought he loved me and he just…he left and I didn’t know what else to do. Mom always said no cops. no babies and there I was, 18 years old. I didn’t want to disappoint her, you know? So instead I left and I just ended up hurting you and her anyway.” She said with a sigh, hugging Gray back tight. “We are. I gave it to a really nice couple who were looking for a baby. Wanna see a picture or like, a lot?”

   A little boy. Grayson wasn’t sure if that meant he was an uncle - or what? More like, almost an uncle. He wasn’t sure how that felt. Everything was raw still, and this new news almost didn’t even stand a chance of really sinking in, with everything else swirling in his mind. At least now, he had an answer to why she had left. Next, it was a surge of fury at Hunter - Gray could vaguely remember the face, and it would forever be marked as an enemy now. He listened in silence, letting Arlo get her side of things out. The offer a picture made his heart skip a beat. “You- you have pictures? Of the baby?” He half-whispered, finally tears spilling over the rims of his eyes. Grayson had spent half his time crying lately, it seemed. Unable to answer properly, Gray nodded, sitting up, eager to see what the little half-Fischer would look like. 

[grayfischer]

owensfitzpatrick

He looked over at Grayson finally, eyes softening at the sight of the young man that he’d once considered to be a friend — a mentee, of sorts. He’d grown up a lot since they’d first met, since he’d wandered into Fitzpatrick’s Deli looking for some extra cash to help his family put money on the table. The American Dream; his father had achieved it, maintaining a successful business and starting a family and a white-picket fenced life. Not every family had been as lucky, and while the Fitzpatrick’s had been fortunate, it all ended up crumbling to the ground anyway. Besides some family heirlooms, what was left of his legacy?

A small smirk escaped his lips, looking down at the pavement. “I felt like shit for makin’ you help me out. Should’a probably hired a cleaner to come in, but it was a couple of months into me runnin’ the place and I was scared shitless of fucking up.” Even if he didn’t have the balls to show it. “Probably should’a given you more.”

Lips pursed, a small shrug lifted at his shoulders. “Gettin’ an inspector out here later this afternoon. If the damage to what’s still up ain’t too fucked, we can build around it. If it is…might have to start from scratch.” He sucked on what was left of his cigarette for a long moment, throat tickling from the smoke even as he exhaled. “Not lookin’ great. Nothin’ we can do ‘bout that now, though, huh?” Owen gave him another look. “Your place make it out ok?”

   “I didn’t mind,” Grayson lied. Back then, a skittish kid terrified of any sort of authority, he wouldn’t have dared open his mouth to say a word of complaining as they worked. It wasn’t until he had worked there for awhile longer that Gray realized it was okay to speak up, voice his opinions. Then again, he never had much to complain about. It hurt now, thinking back, how much the man had done for him. Even letting him come back and work after losing his job - Grayson’s heart ached, and he looked past Owen to the rubble. It felt like so much was lost, so fast. “Nah, you gave me the right amount. Would’ve just blown it on bud, anyway. Wish I could go back to that day, honestly. Shit was simple then. Easy. Worst problem was some paint on a wall.” 

   The prognosis didn’t sound good, and Grayson could damn near cry for Owen. He’d sounded so defeated. Got out of prison, got back with his child, came back home - just for this to happen. It made Grayson feel a lot of different emotions, piled on top of the guilt that always set the tone for anything else related to his former friend and employer. Fuck, he really might cry in a few minutes. 

  Gray nodded at the question numbly. Of course, yet again, he managed to emerge from chaos unscathed. Like the car accident that claimed his father, like the legal battle that put Owen in jail. He wasn’t going to talk about it and rub his good fortune in more, so he breezed over giving an official answer to the question. “Listen... I know we got- I know there is... we got history,” Grayson finally settled on, bringing his eyes back to Owen’s. “Let me know what I can do to help. Anything. Manual labor, money- fundraisin’, I don’t fuckin’ know. I will do whatever you want me to do, anything that could help you. I mean it, Fitz. Say the word.” 

[grayfischer]

arlofischer‌

Arlo nodded as she sighed, still laying against Gray. “You are? I’m sorry…” She said and frowned as she looked up towards her brother. “It’s not that.” She said. “I mean, it kinda was. Every time I close my eyes, I’m back in the car Gray. I’m right back there and I’m begging and screaming and dad won’t wake up and I’m scared.” She said, feeling tears well up in her eyes. “I wake up, right after he dies Gray..I see it every night.” She said softly, almost as if she was a toy with dying batteries that got quieter and quieter. She had gotten good and not talking about it but she needed to get it out. “And when I was in the car…when I was trapped, I thought I was going to die. I was trapped in a car again and I was so scared..until I wasn’t scared anymore cause I saw him. I saw dad and he said everything was going to be alright and that I just needed to hold on a little bit longer.” She looked down for a moment and played with the hem of her shirt. “There’s something I’m not telling you.” She said, wanting to be 100% honest with him since she didn’t know when everything would be gone and it was secretly eating at her. “The uh…the reason I left…was um…well, I uh…I had a baby…” She said softly before looking up to him. “Yeah. I’d like that.” She said with a soft smile. “If you still want me to..”

   Anyone close to Gray, including Arlo, would know he was almost incapable of talking about his dad - enough so to even his closest friends had never heard him once mention it, or bring him up. Hearing Arlo talk about him now, about that night... Grayson’s chest tightened, and tears threatened to well up in his eyes. He closed them against the sensation and focused on his heartbeat, keeping it steady. Instead of giving a verbal response, Grayson just hugged Arlo closer to him, and gave out a slow sigh - she’d know. But when she kept speaking, Gray lost the ability to control his heartbeat. Within seconds it was racing, and he didn’t speak for a minute. “A- a b- a baby?” He finally asked, echoing her words, confusion in his tone - but it wasn’t angry. “You... had a baby?” Now, Grayson sat up in the bed, leaning into an elbow, hovering a little higher than her as he propped himself up in the darkness. He’d always wondered if something had happened to scare her off - but Arlo never gave a reason, so he’d stopped trying to find an answer. Now that he had one, Grayson wasn’t sure what to think. “Who- what.... how? And why didn’t you- you never t-told us,” Grayson’s tone was hurt now, but he leaned in and gave Arlo a proper hug. His mother’s words were suddenly in his ears - 

No Cops, No Babies. Her two rules after their dad died, and now, they both had failed her. Grayson started to laugh, a very small sound, before pulling back from her to shake his head. “We- we really fuckin’ suck at fo-following rules, huh?” He swallowed hard, trying to keep from crying. So much emotion, all at once. “’Course I still want you here. Do you- like, you don’t s-still... the baby, where is it?”

[grayfischer]

arlofischer‌

Arlo curled against Gray, still feeling bad about waking him up in the first place, even though Gray never seemed to mind in the past. She looked up at him. “Hey.” She said softly and sighed as she kept her position curled against him. His arms always had a calming effect on her and always made her feel safe which is what she needed in that moment. “Missed you too.” She whispered. “Alright. Couldn’t sleep.” She debated telling him about the nightmares, not because she didn’t trust him with the information, but because they honestly scared her a little bit. “I’ve uh…been getting these nightmares…ever since leaving the hospital.”

  “Yeah?” Grayson breathed out, his frown invisible in the darkness of the moon, the light from outside just barely highlighting his features. “Me, too,” Was all he responded with - though his nightmares came in the daytime, more in the form of anxiety than anything else, but the empathy remained the same. “You’re better now though. It’s all okay again,” Grayson offered a heartbeat or two later - but he knew what she meant. He’d been thinking about the past a lot, too. Been thinking about Dad. It was the unspoken conversation that lingered under the few words they did say. Was it a Fischer rule to never be great at talking about real feelings? “You wanna stay here with me for awhile? I got the room,” He added, a light but somehow still sad laugh following. Grayson was lonely, honestly. 

[grayfischer]

scarlettmontgcmery

        “You’ve guessed correctly, my good friend,” Scarlett chuckled towards Grayson’s statement. It was nice to hear his laugh after so long of not seeing his handsome face. She truly missed him as a mentee and especially, a good friend. “I’m actually not sure if you know her, but her name is Kindred if you do. If not, you’ll love her.” She smiled, believing her statement was true to a tee. If the man loved her optimism and cheery self, he was going to enjoy her girlfriend’s shining personality. “I’m happy to hear that we’re both happily taken babes. Who’s the lucky man?” She questioned happily, wanting to know anything and everything about his new boyfriend. When she finished making his usual, she slid it his way once he confessed how work was going. “I bet. I haven’t been to a hospital in a really long time, so I always assume that you’re running around and saving lives for hours on end like on Grey’s Anatomy.”

  “Kindred... it sounds familiar, but I can’t place a face to the name,” Grayson answered honestly, and it wasn’t surprising - a town like Wilmington, everyone seemed to have some sort of vague knowledge of one another, somehow through the grapevine. But anyone who could make Scarlett happy got a good mark in Grayson’s book - not that he ever had enemies, anyway, unless you counted Lucas Reeves. At her comparison to the TV show, one Grayson felt was always being brought up about his work (and name sometimes, even), he gave a chuckle before taking a drink. “Well, not exactly, but also... sort of. With the Hurricane Selena, it was a freakshow for awhile. Better now, less soap opera-y. Thank fuck.” 

[ravi-thakur]

If you could go back and relive one memory, what memory would it be, and why?

“Just one? Well, I was 12, just before the night of the accident, and @grayfischer and I had convinced our parents to build a fort in the backyard. We were out there all night as a family, laughing, telling ghost stories, eating pizza, board games. There were a lot of laughs and smiles and it was overall the best night, right before the worst. But we were happy.”

HONESTY HOUR

[ravi-thakur]

What do you fear losing the most?

“The what is more of a who. And of course that’s @grayfischer“

[grayfischer]

alexandriahroberts‌

“Oh come on Grayson, you’re a good guy. You’ve made some mistakes, but we all have.” Alexandria replied, knowing that the man didn’t give himself enough credit. It was one of the things that the two of them had in common, but Alix was trying to work on it.  “Maybe some day I’ll get into the habit of taking better care of myself, but in the meantime I still need people to remind me.” 

“I am just trying to find new ways to distract myself, honestly. I think my cats are pretty annoyed though because they are used to having the house to themselves usually.” Alexandria replied with a chuckle, not even sure is she had told Grayson that she had recently gotten a second pet. Things had been pretty hectic lately, so it could have easily slipped her mind. “Maybe I should pick up a new hobby too, like knitting or something.” She added, shrugging once more. “I just miss everything and everyone so much. It sucks.”

   “Yeah,” Gray mumbled, always awkward in the face of a compliment, ears heating rapidly. He felt her statement could go either way - it seemed most people always did best caring for others rather than themselves, or at least, Grayson thought so. “Well, I’ll stick around, make sure you get in that habit.” He smiled, hoping to keep it upbeat. 

   As if they knew she was speaking of them, one of Alix’s cats appeared, and Gray knelt down to try and coax it over with a little tsk tsk tsk as he clicked his tongue. His hand reached out to give some scritches. “I miss my cat,” Gray quietly mused before straightening. “Knitting? Well, I guess it works,” A chuckle left his lips - for some reason, he couldn’t picture it. “You should get into video games. I could bring some over. Maybe... not as productive as knitting, but fun, I think so. There is a new game out - Animal Crossing. Hot damn, it controls my life.” 

[grayfischer]

oliviapcrter

Gray never ceased to give Liv great advice. It was one of the many things she adored so much about him. He very kind, smart, and an overall really great friend. Not to mention, great boyfriend. Markus couldn’t be more lucky. The love the two of them shared, was the same kind of love Olivia always wanted and dreamed of for herself. While, she didn’t have the best luck, or nearly as much success. She was still willing to believe in it because of them. “You’re a really great guy,” Liv promised. Sure, it went without saying but she hoped Grayson knew that. From the moment they first met, Gray’s brought nothing but amiable joy to Olivia’s life. And he was right. They were family now. So, whatever he needed from this moment forward – she would be sure to supply it. Hell, maybe that’s why she felt so hellbent on saving Markus’s life. While Markus was her friend, and she would’ve done it anyway for that reason alone, her persistence was really a favor to Gray more so than anything. 

“You know, that’s probably not a bad idea.” Liv’s smile alluded to her lighthearted playfulness. Of course, it was a great idea. As, she’s already established – Gray was constantly full of those. They were practically never-ending at this point. Maybe from now on, she should just get all of her advice from him. He seemed to be more in tune with the ways of life than most people, including herself, she realized. “No, nothing yet.” At the mention of their homes, Liv turned and strolled at a leisure pace beside Gray. “Last time I checked, the phone lines were down. So, I wasn’t able to get through to my dad. Emmy and I tried to board up the place up before we headed out so hopefully that limits any water damage from the inside. Of course, if the place needs a cosmetic lift later on, you know I’m always around to lend a hand.” Liv gently prodded Gray’s side with the knuckles of her fist. Not enough to relay any pressure but enough to say you always have me, we’re family.

THE END

[grayfischer]

abbyrchrds‌:

“She’s the closest thing to a mom I’ve ever had.” Abby shrugged. It was strange, really, to think of her therapist as her mother. But it’s not like her grandmother would listen to her talk about struggles with school and socializing, and the occasional boy problem. If not for her therapist, Abby wouldn’t have had the mental tools necessary to decide to get to get a job after she graduated college. Or even graduated college to begin with, for that matter. “As weird as living in North Carolina is sometimes, it’s been better for me than any other place I’ve lived in the past ten years…which is just mostly Seattle.” She shrugged once more, nodding. “Yeah, I think it would be fun. There are some parts of it that I miss, so I’ll show you all those and then we’ll leave with no photo evidence whatsoever in case my aunt finds out.”

She beamed down at her little paper money thing. “It was really cool, actually. I mean, you wouldn’t expect to have fun at a museum about a bank, but it was super cute and interactive.” Abby frowned slightly, as Grayson put his work before himself, pushing off the idea of going out and getting some air and some food. Abby knew he had a habit of pushing himself to the last possible shred of energy, hell she had the same habit, but she knew it wasn’t healthy for him. “Sun would be good for you,” she said, already slowly pushing the lid of the cookie container closed. “And think of the food. There’s so much food out there. Hot dog carts, food trucks. The restaurant I told you about.” Her hand closed around the handle of her suitcase. “Just for an hour.”

   THE END

[grayfischer]

owensfitzpatrick‌

He was on his third cigarette of the day, which would have been an impressive cut-down from what he usually was up to except for the fact that it was barely noon. He’d just gotten done meeting with a couple of contractors at the site of the wreckage, getting an estimate for how much the clean up of the debris followed by new construction would be. Money wasn’t an issue, luckily — their family was fairly well-off, and had made sure to save a large portion of their profits made from the deli over the years. Keeping the site wasn’t exactly expensive on its own seeing as Jack had purchased the land back in the seventies, so all in all, it was the best the situation could be.

However, that didn’t mean Fitz wasn’t completely and utterly crushed by the loss. The building had been the product of his father’s hopes and dreams, the business having been passed on to him and his brother shortly after his death. It was Jack’s legacy, the Fitzpatrick’s legacy, and now it was gone all in the span of a single night.

He didn’t even flinch when he saw Grayson appear from the corner of his eye, his incessant ramblings going in one ear and out the other. He couldn’t even feel the same rage at his former friend that he’d harbored for the past year or so, something resembling numbness taking over instead. “You remember that one time you hitched a ride from me to work in the mornin’, and we got there and saw a bunch’a graffiti on the side of the building?” Fitz took another long drag of his cigarette, looking over at Grayson. “We had to scramble to wipe that shit off before we opened. Took nearly an hour, ‘n by the time we were done we hadn’t even walked in the damn place. I was sweatin’ my ass off.”

 Silence covered Grayson like a blanket, his body entirely still as he listened to Fitz. The older man’s tone was one of defeat, almost - unlike anything Gray had heard him sound like before. It wasn’t angry either. Somehow, that seemed worse, the emptiness in his tone and the lifeless expression on his face. Grayson’s jaw stiffened, chest tightening - so much loss, for the whole town. 

   “I remember,” Grayson nodded, taking a tentative step closer, hands shoved deep in his pockets. The memory still felt fresh, despite it being years ago. They’d both lived through a lot since then, but that had been his hardest day at the deli to date. “It was a weekend, and we got hit unusually hard for lunch. Some event downtown, or somethin’. Didn’t get to sit down until, like, 3,” Grayson continued the story, remembering how even after they cleaned the back wall, the work didn’t slow. There was a pause. “You gave me a hundred dolla bonus.”

  And he had - Grayson had been shocked, and promptly blew it on weed, which he would sneak in a smoke break between the dumpsters out back. His eyes lowered. Guilt was beginning to curl around his heart once more. “Can-” He swallowed. “Can it be... fixed? The, uh, the building?” 

[grayfischer]

arlofischer‌:

Arlo found herself standing outside of Gray’s house, arms wrapped around herself. She almost turned away, not wanting to wake her brother up this late at night but she didn’t know where else to go so she let herself in with the spare key that Gray had given her and made sure to lock the door behind her. She found her way to Gray’s room, hoping that Markus wasn’t there because she needed her brother in this moment. She carefully opened the door and saw that he was alone in his bed, thankful he didn’t have a shift at work or anything and she walked to the other side of the bed and crawled in, snuggling up next to her brother like she did when they were younger and she was having nightmares. Since the Hurricane, she had been having nightmares nearly every night and she couldn’t handle it anymore. She felt herself relax as she laid against Gray, letting his breaths calm her down. She felt him stir, feeling bad that she seemed to wake him up. “Hey, Gray…” @grayfischer​

   With Emmy’s absence, and Markus having been busy with his return to work after recovery, Grayson’s heart had been heavier than usual. Maybe he’d not entirely emotionally recovered from the hurricane, or maybe it was the haunting emptiness of the beach house that had once been so full of life - but he’d been sleeping more, and had already been passed out for hours by the time Arlo’s cold body brought him from a deep sleep. “Arlo?” He mumbled, eyes cracking open in the darkness. “Hey,” He smiled sleepily, giving her a gentle hug in the end and heaving a sigh after as he began to wake up more. Honestly, he was thrilled with the company she provided. “I’ve missed you. How you feelin’?” 

[grayfischer]

scarlettmontgcmery

        When Scarlett was working behind the bar, she kept a close eye on the door to see who was coming in that day. Hearing the door open, a wide smile spread across her face once she locked her eyes with her dear friend Grayson. “Gray, hey,” As he took a seat across from her, she studied his expressions. He looked exhausted, so she started to prepare for his usual before he even asked. “You got it, babe.” While getting his drink made, she stayed close to him so they could catch up. “First off, thank you for gracing me with your presence. I’m happy to see you alive and well. As for the latest gossip,” obvious tease started to form itself around her words, “I’ve heard that one of your favorite bartenders in the whole wide world has a girlfriend now and I gotta, say, she’s smoking hot. How was work?”

    “Same to you,” Gray chuckled, hoping the drink and good company would shake the weight from his shoulders. Things weren’t bad, just busy - and tiring. Being off from work for a year or so made going back tough, especially when 12 hour shifts and working nonstop during the hurricane seemed to take importance over all else. Having cut back on the smoking wasn’t helping, either. “Oh yeah? Well I have only one favorite - so I’m guessing you’re the lucky lady with an equally lucky... lady,” Grayson laughed, realizing halfway through how dumb he sounded. But he was glad, truly. Last time he’d stopped in, Scarlett was recovering from a breakup. “Your favorite customer also got himself a man, and a job. Work is...” Gray blew out his air fast, instead of answering, hoping she’d get it. “I’m tired, man.” 

[grayfischer]

markusroman

Markus almost choked up as Grayson confessed about his dad. He had never known much about him, mostly because Grayson refused to talk about him, but now, he understood. It made sense now, the overwhelming concern Grayson had when he found out about the accident. The increasing look of fear in his eyes as the frantically worked over Markus’ body in the hospital. He could have lost him, there was always that chance, but he was still here. Grayson was the reminder that second chances do exist and good things can happen to people. As Grayson moved closed, Markus lifted his hand to gently rub Grayson’s cheek, thumb drifting over his cheekbone. He smiled, realizing how quickly Grayson was letting his own words stumble over each other.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized, “I didn’t mean to scare you the way I did.” Markus couldn’t imagine hurting Grayson again. “Obviously I’m not saying we should get married right now, but I love you–I’m not leaving this time.” Markus had grown since then, he wanted all the things that adults did, for the long-term. He wanted a life with Grayson. He returns the kiss with just as much sentiment, knowing that no more words needed to be said.

   If Markus had proposed a wedding, right then and there, Grayson wasn’t entirely sure he would’ve said no - in fact, he knew he’d have gone for it, but luckily, they both had just enough common sense to know that could be a fatal mistake for their relationship. At least that lesson had been learned through Gray’s thick skull, and he nodded as he pulled away from the kiss. “Yeah, obviously, yeah, I know,” He nodded, still finding just the action of talking and making sense difficult. If you’d told him this would happen at the beginning of the year - which felt so far away now - Grayson would’ve laughed. “And I love you. I love you, too.” Now, he nuzzled into Markus neck, pulling his long limbs in close to cozy in with his boyfriend, mind and heart still buzzing with the confession. Would it truly happen? Who knew, but Grayson now realized something - he’d never let go of his hope, or his love, for Markus. And just like a fairy-tale, he came back, and now things could almost be considered perfect. 

[grayfischer]

markusroman

It isn’t a surprise that Grayson is surprised by the sudden revelation from Markus. It was odd, talking about it now, considering how things were in the past. Markus thought he would always be terrified of marriage and loving someone, allowing someone to love him back. His tainted since of love and care was always a work in progress, but with Grayson, he knew it was right. It always had been. He stared Grayson with adoration, watching as he approached him, clearly examining to see if his feelings were true. They were, he didn’t need to say anything.

“Yeah. I guess I probably shouldn’t have blurted it out like that.” Markus says, suddenly shaming himself for being so open. They were both incredibly vulnerable, especially after what had happened to Markus. “I want to be with you Gray, for as long as I can, okay?” The idea of starting a family still scared the hell out of him, but with Grayson, it almost seemed possible.

   If Markus couldn’t hear Gray’s racing heartbeat, thundering away in his chest, it would be a miracle. And if Gray wasn’t so scared of what this could all mean, and how it may impact their possible future, he may have started crying already. He was careful to remind himself silently that this was not a proposal - plenty of couples said these things in passing, don’t leap ahead, don’t get your hopes too high, don’t-

   “Me, too. I m-mean, I just-” Words. Grayson had never learned how to really master them. Instead, they tumbled from his lips in a stop and start fashion. That little stutter always shone through when he found his anxiety spiking, but it didn’t always mean it was a bad reaction. His eyes had been locked on Markus, but now they dropped slightly, though that delicate smile remained. “As long as we can for me, too, I meant,” It was hard, holding back. If given the chance, Grayson would throw more love at Markus that he could handle, but it was fear largely that held him back. Fear of moving too fast, fear of fucking it up again - hell, they had just had a fight that nearly ended catastrophically, though the fight itself felt light years away now. “I don’t ever- I don’t... I can’t lose you again. Like, whatever happens, you know?” Now, Grayson’s vulnerability was obvious, palpable, and he came to sit down on the couch once more, pulling his legs up and turning so he faced Markus. 

   This probably wasn’t the best time for this confession - but somehow, before Grayson could stop it, he was talking with earnest once more. His heart had taken over. “I lost my dad in- in a... in a car accident,” Gray told Markus softly, but by some stroke of luck, he wasn’t crying. “I kept thi-thinking... I could have lost you, too, and.. and- and I don’t think I can. So, you saying- saying that, it- I-” 

   Gray ran out of words, and instead pushed forward and kissed Markus before any response could even be give. It was a physical way of saying thank you, but also... me too.

[grayfischer]

markusroman‌

Markus shakes his head, his head cloudy. When Grayson finally leans in to kiss him, he regains his ability to think and it all becomes clear. Grayson, being as oblivious as he always is, caring about Markus’ well being constantly, only strengthens the feelings Markus has been having. At first, he figures it’s because of the accident–it is, partly. But, he always knew that he wanted things to begin and end with Grayson, and even if he couldn’t act on his feelings now, he needed them to be known. Markus couldn’t spend the rest of his life hiding how he felt anymore, the guilt of keeping that from Grayson was finally starting to eat away at him.

“I want to marry you.” Markus says suddenly, ignore the original question that Gray had asked. “Not like, right now or anything, but I want to.” He sighs, feeling the weight lift from his chest. “You just need to know that. I can’t keep that from you.” It was a tricky subject. It would either bring up bad memories or help them make new, happier ones. “If–If you even want to.”

   To Grayson, it felt like the world stopped spinning for a second. The plastic container of tea in his hand fell from his fingers, hitting the ground with a muffled thunk - a miracle it didn’t break open at the impact. A few years ago, Gray’s proposal had been born from more of a sense of what was right, but it had been from the heart, too. He could even remember the first time he, too, had that feeling - the surge of love for one person, and that little yes moment when you realize that was who you wanted to be with.

  Forever. 

  But a long, long time had passed by since Grayson had felt that way for Markus. No one else had come close, even Alana, though his feelings for her had been true. “Really?” Gray finally spoke up, realizing his thoughts had created a silence for too long. He returned to the living room empty handed, not even bothering to pick up the discarded tea he’d dropped. Instead, Gray circled in front of the couch to look at Markus face-to-face, because he wanted to see if that look was in his eyes. Gray had seen it in his own as he got ready the night of the proposal, but after Markus said no, the nurse genuinely never thought he’d hear those words. “R-really? Like, you really do?”

[grayfischer]

markusroman

Hot warrior was definitely not how Markus would begin to describe himself and his physical state currently. “You just enjoy seeing my shirtless.” Markus says, laughing softly. “I just hope this doesn’t take ages to heal.” He adds, looking down at his chest where he started to pull back the bandages. They were still fresh and not for the faint of heart. Luckily, Grayson dealt with this stuff on the daily, so it didn’t bother him at all. With Grayson sat beside him, tending to his wounds like he had for the past few days, Markus felt more in love with him than he ever had. 

Sure, they had a past. But, that love had been fleeting. It was quick and intense. The love they shared know was real, raw, and built upon. Before, Markus couldn’t seem himself marrying anyone, let alone Grayson. But as he stared at him know, watching his eyebrows scrunch together as he worked on Markus’ chest, he couldn’t help but think–why am I not asking him to spend the rest of his life with me? In his head, he knows it sounds dramatic. But, the car crash had made him realize how quickly your life can be pulled out from under you. He hesitates to say anything, doesn’t want to ruin the peace they suddenly establish. So he smiles and pushes the thoughts aside, as much as it pains him to keep it all to himself.

   Not even an eyelash was batted as Grayson began the task of cleaning the wound, checking for infection and signs of healthy healing. He wore gloves through the process, but didn’t have to keep his eyes constantly on his hands. By now, this all felt like second nature. Doctors handled surgery, stitches, and procedures, but it was up to him to keep up with the work that went in prior and after the big stuff. Medications, doses, monitoring, and cleanliness were just four things a nurse has entire responsibility over, and Grayson had never taken that responsibility lightly. “It’ll heal faster than you think... but it’ll still feel like forever,” Gray commented, glancing up to give a reassuring smile to Markus before continuing. 

   He tried to work fast, to get it over with. Even though Markus remained quiet and strong, Gray knew this couldn’t be fun. Clueless to the thoughts actually circulating Markus mind at the moment, Gray assumed the silence was due to the pain of having the wound irritated with ointment and gauze, so when Gray finally finished and secured the last large medical bandage in place, he leaned in to give Markus a deep kiss before straightening and leaving the room once more to dispose of the gloves and old guaze. “Want anythin’ while I’m up? Soda, not beer, you’re on medication, but we got mountain dew, and I think a sweet tea left.”