“Boston,” Jacob repeated with a nod. “So, you went all the way to Boston for six months and didn’t give me so much as a ‘hey, I’m safe, don’t worry about me’ text? And you thought that was okay?” Jacob wasn’t really yelling, but he was definitely speaking more emotionally then he usually would have. His words all slurred together and his accent was thicker than normal. He wasn’t thinking about what he was saying, like he usually did.
Jacob shook his head. “No, you’re not sleeping on the couch. As much as I’m upset with you and would love to make you sleep on the couch–” he gestured to her stomach, “I can’t in good conscience.” If the baby was his, which he suspected it was, he didn’t want her uncomfortable. He didn’t want her uncomfortable regardless, but maybe a little discomfort was in order for her after the six months of discomfort she’d put him through.
“Don’t do that. Don’t try to make me feel better by telling me you love me,” Jacob said, tears beginning to well up in his eyes. “How can I believe you right now? How do you think it feels to be sitting next to someone who you planned on spending the rest of your life with right before they left you for six months, and they sit here telling you that they love you, that it wasn’t your fault you left? How does it feel? Because to me, it feels pretty… what’s the word… shitty.”
“You’re not stepping on toes, I just… you know Plum, our neighbor?” he asked her, wiping his tears away as he spoke. “She and I have gotten pretty close, and I don’t know, I thought about maybe exploring that relationship a bit, but I might reconsider now that… circumstances have changed.” He didn’t want to hurt Plum, but he really didn’t want to hurt Grace.
“I want to be involved,” he said immediately. “From here on out, I don’t care where you and I are at, I want the baby to be our priority.” Hesitantly, he reached out his hand. “Can I feel?” he asked, his palm hovering over her stomach.
“I thought that I’d hurt you less if I just disappeared,” Grace mumbled, looking down. “I was wrong, obviously. I messed up...” She flinched as his voice grew louder -- by his standards. It wasn’t often that the pair fought. “I’m sorry,” she repeated herself, glancing up at him. “I realize that an apology won’t fix everything, but I’m not going to stop apologizing until I make this right.”
“Well, if it helps, I’m disappointed in myself enough for the both of us,” she offered, a pained expression on her face. Of course, Grace felt guilty. She’d ran away from the one thing that had made her happy. In the process, she’d hurt him. “Well, you’re welcome to share the bed, too,” she suggested, eyes flitting toward the bedroom door. “We can put a pillow between us or something, yeah?”
Grace cringed when Jacob began to tear up, tears forming in her eyes, too. “Jacob,” she sighed, reaching for his hand. “I would do anything to prove it to you... I’ve never loved anything more than you.” God, she wanted him to believe her, to trust her. “It wasn’t your fault,” she insisted. “I panicked, yeah, but it was never about us.”
“Oh,” Grace mumbled, nodding slowly. It felt like the breath had been knocked out of her. Though, what did she expect? “Well, I understand,” she said, glancing up at him. “I’d really like to try this again.” She paused, trying to organize her thoughts. “I’ve lived without you, Jacob, and I’d give anything to never live without you again,” she commented, a sad smile spreading across her lips. “I need you.”
Grace nodded, still thinking about Plum. Sure, she was thrilled that he wanted to be involved. She just couldn’t imagine raising their child as coparents, not a couple. “She will be,” Grace replied, smiling as she wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Yes.”