but if you close your eyes @great-gatsby - Tumblr Blog

it's been a long time coming. . .

to say i have loved this website and my friends on it is an understatement, and i will always be grateful for what i've had here.

however, right now i am working to get well - therapy, [redacted for anonymity] meetings, blocking every website that involves spending or ads that encourage it, learning what triggers me and what makes me well - and tumblr is not an environment that is healthy for me.

so i am leaving tumblr, perhaps for a long while, or perhaps forever. this blog will be left up in case i want to return.

you know in your soul when it's time to go.

love you guys.

i want to share everything that's changed in my life (which is to say, everything that could possibly change in one's life) but one of the main reasons why i stepped away and stayed away is because i felt this need to update everyone on everything, to make people i don't know into my therapist and decision maker, and i am trying to be enough for myself. (another reason is all the vagueposting from "friends" was getting pathetic and nauseating.)

i am not exaggerating when i've said i'm doing well. i am not exaggerating when i've said i'm doing better than maybe i've ever been in my life. everything has changed and it's because i was honest, open, and willing for it to. i pray to my higher power (to me, my hp is the program i'm in) for the willingness to be willing, and it says yes every time.

btw read "playing with bees" by rk fauth. real good poem.

what if i told you i'm back

#i'm not. but i miss you all and wanted to say hi

i'm doing better than i ever was

#in case anyone ever remembers me and wonders

great-gatsby

theres got to be a way to make my life more about healing and less about merely surviving. but i dont know how to do that

great-gatsby

have to reblog this because i'm on my way to finding how to do this. i have made every day about my healing for over three weeks now, which is enough to make it a habit, it feels like a habit, and it has not been perfect, it has not even felt good most of the time, but i am starting to feel well. feeling well is possible and i wish i could tell my younger selves that but they needed to fall apart how they did in order to get me here. so all i can say to them is thank you.

hi <3 here to screenshot + save bookmarked quotes about healing for my journal, so if you catch me liking a post that's why. i'm doing good, on some new shit but actually for real. hope you all are too.

tumblr / bo burnham

#logged on to tell some friends abt my whatsapp and was greeted with this #the internet is the internet is the internet #bye for now. I think #maybe forever?#I’ll come say goodbye if so

great-gatsby

i feel very safe and sound.mp3 but in the way where you know redacted is gonna die

#i'm gonna take a break from tumblr #idk how long. maybe a day. maybe a week. who knows #but yeah. this post sums up how i'm feeling on here rn

thoradvice

25% is better than 0%. trying a little is better than not trying at all. eating a protein bar is better than nothing. using dry shampoo is better than not showering. cleaning one section of your room or house is better than not cleaning any of it. writing a paragraph of your essay is better than not starting it. whatever you can manage today is okay. you can try again tomorrow. little steps are to be proud of.