Why do you think so?

H-Hi. I'm Aoshiru, I spend my time as a patient in a hospital... I-I guess you could say I have a, a uh, condition with my blood, but uh... I'm being treated for it, s-so I'm sure I'll be okay, right... I'm also known as, uh, Cripple-tan, b-but I don't really l-like that name... I don't like the idea of being a cripple... A-anyways, feel free to talk to me and ask me stuff, I g-guess... ((This is an independant rp blog for Aoshiru/Cripple-tan from Yume 2kki))

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[emiyannn]

[hospital-darkness]

Three Words, A Secret (@green-invalid)

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Couldn’t be good for..his real heart? She started shivering. “..I-if it’s not good you don’t need to answer..!” She panicked. She was hurting him wasn’t she? For her feelings like this. The black haired girl listened to him, but it wasn’t what she was hoping to hear.

”..W-what do you mean?” Imunity asked. “Does that..m-mean I’m just a friend? That’s okay you know..r-really. I’m okay with just staying friends, i-if that’s what you want..”

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Aoshiru shook his head quickly, his arms shivering with nervousness. "W-Wait, n-no that's n-not it... I..." Aoshiru bit his lower lip painfully momentarily, taking a shaky, quick deep breath. "W-What I w-want is-- N-No... W-what.. W-what I want..."

"I-I k-kinda r-really l-like you too..!!"

He said it. He felt himself said it. He felt his emotions quake. He said it. His face burned an almost unbearable heat as they flushed green.

Aoshiru's hands darted up to his face in embarrassment, and he bent over, burying his covered face into his knees. Although he just got out something he'd been holding back for the longest time, he started to feel like he shouldn't. A pit of regret burned in his chest.

Aoshiru straightened back up suddenly, his hands retreating back onto his knees, shaking from his racing heart.

"N...No..! F-Forget e-everything I s-said... I..."

Aoshiru's sentence ended abruptly with a shortened breath. Exhaustion suddenly filled his body. He didn't feel like trying anymore. What will happen will happen.

Aoshiru stared down at his quivering hands in nervousness. He felt like crying, but he was almost too tired too-- plus, Imunity was there. He couldn't... He just sat there, a dark, flickering flame of regret burning inside him.

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cataplexy-hat started following you

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The angel waited, smiling weakly. ” Does it? ” he replied. ‘Of course it does, silly’, Yossua thought, shakinly. ’ he’s stuck in here, he must be suffering…’ his thought continued. But his smile didn’t moved as his told him his wish. It was a way to tell him he needed to get out, wich is probably true, right. The boy took the kid’s hand, trying his best smile. ” Thank you. I am wishing that you’ll be better, dear Aoshiru.” he let out, his wings flapping a bit. ” I… guess I must be going now… Please stay safe.”

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Aoshiru slowly receded his hand back onto his knee. "...I... I'll try..." He said, shifting a little bit to get comfortable. "I-It'll be hard..." Stay safe... How could he do that, anyways? He cleared the thought from his head and looked up at the angel, his eyes glinting a dull, greyish green. "...Goodbye." Aoshiru said it firmly, as if it was a last farewell.

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(( hi i am back

its winter break = no school

no school = less stress even tho im rly stressed out rn

anyways hi ))

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cataplexy-hat started following you

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“…P-People. They can th-think so differently…” Aoshiru said, continuing to fiddle with the sheet.

“R-Really…” Aoshiru said. He tilted his head to the other side and put on a blank smile. “…D-Does it hurt less?”

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” I still don’t get you but… Yeah, they do…” he admitted, unsure.

Seeing his smile, Yosh shivered a bit. ” Of course.” he said, smiling back at him. ” Hurt less? Oh gosh, it depends. Pulling on wings hurts a lot…” he let out. ” But… I guess it hurt a little bit less…”

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Aoshiru was silent for a few moments before speaking again. "...I-It...s-sounds nice..." Aoshiru straightened his back out a bit, placing his hands on his knees. "W-Well.... I h-hope w-whatever happens f-for you... y-you'll be happy..!" Aoshiru tried his best to keep his empty smile one.

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(( whwoah i get on this aaccount and theres smoking everrywhere and this relaly makes me unccomfortable

good bye dash ))

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cataplexy-hat started following you

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“Ah, y-yes….” Aoshiru said. He chewed a bit on his lip. “…I g-guess people r-really can be a lot d-different…”

Aoshiru fiddled with the bed sheet with one of his hands. “…I-If I die… d-does it mean I’ll b-become an angel too..?”

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” What do you mean by a lot different?” he asked, calming down a bit.

This question made him anxious a bit. He never went to heaven to see if everyone are angels after all… ” I think… You’ll have pretty long wings and people will accept you…” he said, smiling a bit.

What was he saying? he wondered. Was he lying to a poor kid? He don’t know at all what it’s like after death when you’re not protecting someone…

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"...P-People. They can th-think so differently..." Aoshiru said, continuing to fiddle with the sheet.

"R-Really..." Aoshiru said. He tilted his head to the other side and put on a blank smile. "...D-Does it hurt less?"

[hospital-darkness]

Three Words, A Secret (@green-invalid)

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Aoshiru licked his dry lips, mind buzzing as he tried to search for what to say.

“I… I…”

He put his shaking hands together, shutting the note. He tried to look back at Imunity, but his body refused. Gosh, he figured he was putting on quite the rude display.

“…I-I think i-its…” Aoshiru choked on his words. They didn’t seem right. He tried to put a small smile on his face, heart poudning “…W-Why? I-I mean, I-I’m…”

Aoshiru bit his lips shut, feeling his face get even hotter.

[hospital-darkness]

Why? What an odd thing to ask..but she did understand too. “..B-because..I don’t mind that you have to get a-around in a wheelchair, or have t-to stay in bed a lot..I don’t mind t-that you’re sick! Though I wish I could help more..” She needed a better explanation. “I’ve always b-been immune to things a-and helping keep rust away, I w-want to help you get better, I always have! A-and the more I talked to you..t-the more it seemed like..I s-saw you as more than a friend.”

There. She admitted it so far. But the words she kept locked away, now they were appearing. “We’ve had fun c-coloring pictures a-and just talking! But it seems like s-sometimes, you’ve been so sad too. I don’t w-want you to be sad anymore.”

Say it. Say it. It was more than just words on the page! It was! “..I..I love you.”

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She said it. She said it again... Aoshiru felt his face boil again, and felt lightheaded. This was a lot harder than he would've ever wondered... He shut his eyes a bit, and gave a shaky deep breath. He brought his hand up to his chest.

"...T-This c-can't be... g-good for my... h-heart..." Aoshiru said waveringly. "M-ma.. b.. e..." Aoshiru tripped over his words, and halted his sentence.

"...I-I..." Aoshiru couldn't get himself to say it. His heartbeat was speeding up again.

"...Y-You're... r-really great t-too..."

Aoshiru stared out in front of him. His body froze up, even after such an avoidant phrase like that. He wanted to bury his face into his knees, but at the same time he didn't want to. Down inside, his body wanted to embrace these feelings.

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cataplexy-hat started following you

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Aoshiru’s eyes closed a bit, as they stared boringly down at his legs. “…B-But, you’re an angel though… Y-You get… to be able to do so many things… not worry about… death, a-and yet…” Aoshiru closed his eyes and hunched over to hug his legs. “..Sorry. ….Y-You’re still… U-Um…” Aoshiru paused a bit to think. “…Y… Yo…”

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Yossua laughed a bit, a scarcastic laught. ” I have to protect someone… I have to save someone. And even if I don’t have to worry about death, what can prove if I can turn human back again?!” he let out, clinging to his robe now. ” I don’t want people to not notice me until someone have light in them that makes them see me! ” he continued, looking down. He looked the kid trying to say something. ” The name’s Yossua.” he said, looking at the boy.

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"Ah, y-yes...." Aoshiru said. He chewed a bit on his lip. "...I g-guess people r-really can be a lot d-different..."

Aoshiru fiddled with the bed sheet with one of his hands. "...I-If I die... d-does it mean I'll b-become an angel too..?"

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Three Words, A Secret (@green-invalid)

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Aoshiru looked over at the paper, squinting from the blurriness in his eyes due to nervousness. He froze suddenly, his heart skipping a beat. L… o… v… …e. Aoshiru shakily reached over to the paper and took it out of his hands, bringing it close to is face to read it better.

…It really did say it. Aoshiru felt his breath be taken away as he stared down at the note, hands shivering. Maybe she brought it to the wrong Aoshiru, he thought— no. Aoshiru knew that Imunity knew better, that she knows who’s who by now. Aoshiru’s mind blanked out for a second. This isn’t good. This really really isn’t good… But… Aoshiru felt happy for some reason…

Aoshiru couldn’t take his eyes off the note, body shivering with increasing nervousness. “Ah… U-Um… I…” He stuttered out, his face flushed.

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She let him look closely at the paper, not sure how to take his reaction at first. Was he staying to his words of before? When he had ‘proposed’ to her? Imunity kept a smile, but it slowly had shifted into a concerned frown at him. “..H-hey..” She said quietly. “If..if you s-still don’t think of me like that, l-like yo said before, it’s okay! W-we’re still friends…my friend Ana thought it would be best to tell y-you though.”

She brought the smile back again, softly. “..S-so be honest! It’s okay! ..W-what do you think..?”

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Aoshiru licked his dry lips, mind buzzing as he tried to search for what to say.

"I... I..."

He put his shaking hands together, shutting the note. He tried to look back at Imunity, but his body refused. Gosh, he figured he was putting on quite the rude display.

"...I-I think i-its..." Aoshiru choked on his words. They didn't seem right. He tried to put a small smile on his face, heart poudning "...W-Why? I-I mean, I-I'm..."

Aoshiru bit his lips shut, feeling his face get even hotter.

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cataplexy-hat started following you

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Aoshiru’s head tilted to the side slightly. “Why does it matter s-so much…” Aoshiru said, his fingers tapping against his drawn up legs. “Male or female… you’re j-just you… An angel, right…”

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” Because I have an identity! I am not just ‘an angel!’ ” he let out, his wings covering him. ” I’m not even supposed to be an angel, I’m not someone nice! ” he said, freaking out now.

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Aoshiru's eyes closed a bit, as they stared boringly down at his legs. "...B-But, you're an angel though... Y-You get... to be able to do so many things... not worry about... death, a-and yet..." Aoshiru closed his eyes and hunched over to hug his legs. "..Sorry. ....Y-You're still... U-Um..." Aoshiru paused a bit to think. "...Y... Yo..."

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Three Words, A Secret (@green-invalid)

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Aoshiru’s face flushed a little. She heard… He took a deep breath to ward away some of the nervousness.

“S…Sure..! Go ahead, I-I’d love to see…” Aoshiru smiled weakly, fidgeting with his hands. There’s no need to be nervous, no need…

[hospital-darkness]

Except there might be need. But more for herself than him. “..I-it’s something that..I’ve w-wanted to say for awhile. But, whenever I t-tried..it just didn’t work..I couldn’t say it..” Imunity could see her hands shivering then, gripping the ends of the paper.

“Yosh taught m-me how to write, s-sort of how to read..I thought, it would b-be best, if I could prove t-that I can be smart..and tell you, t-too.”

She let the paper unroll, and held it up in front of her. The words were obvious. Carefully written one by one, her exam from Yosh, the example of her learning so far.

‘I love you, Aoshiru.’

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Aoshiru looked over at the paper, squinting from the blurriness in his eyes due to nervousness. He froze suddenly, his heart skipping a beat. L... o... v... ...e. Aoshiru shakily reached over to the paper and took it out of his hands, bringing it close to is face to read it better.

...It really did say it. Aoshiru felt his breath be taken away as he stared down at the note, hands shivering. Maybe she brought it to the wrong Aoshiru, he thought-- no. Aoshiru knew that Imunity knew better, that she knows who's who by now. Aoshiru's mind blanket out for a second. This isn't good. This really really isn't good... But... Aoshiru felt happy for some reason...

Aoshiru couldn't take his eyes off the note, body shivering with increasing nervousness. "Ah... U-Um... I..." He stuttered out, his face flushed.

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Aoshiru fidgeted with his feet, twirling them around each other. He stared down at them as he continued. “…Angels… they’re mysterious beings, a-aren’t they… neither d-dead or alive, or m-male or female…”

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The boy looked scared for a moment. He wasn’t dead and he wasn’t alive… he acknowledge it… But he wasn’t male or female as well, right? What was he? He started to shake. ” Stop…” he let out, stepping back. ” I’m… I’m not both or nothing! I’m…” he looked down at himself, in shock. Does this mean the kid was seeing him as both? As a lady and a man?

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Aoshiru's head tilted to the side slightly. "Why does it matter s-so much..." Aoshiru said, his fingers tapping against his drawn up legs. "Male or female... you're j-just you... An angel, right..."

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Three Words, A Secret (@green-invalid)

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Aoshiru jumped, his feeling of loneliness suddenly being replaced by fear, and then relief when he recognized the voice. “…I..Imunity..! I-I misse-…” Aoshiru let his voice drift away, changing his mind in the middle of the sentence. He felt his face get a bit hot from embarrassment. He shook his head a bit, trying to cool off. “…C-Come in..!”

[hospital-darkness]

There seemed to be so much tension in a place she had always felt welcomed in. The pictures still hung up on the wall, they made her smile and remember that day. Days they spent coloring and talking about little things.

Imunity had opened the door, smiling at him as best she could to hide her nervous feelings, before rushing to his bedside. “I h-heard you! I missed you too!” But..how to start it off. She held up the paper, looking down at it, still rolled up in her hands, before looking at Ao once again. “..Ao..? I..c-can I show you something I learned?”

“My friend Yosh, y-you see..he taught me h-how to write things..s-so this was my first try. He said it was good..b-but, I’ll let you decide..!”

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Aoshiru's face flushed a little. She heard... He took a deep breath to ward away some of the nervousness.

"S...Sure..! Go ahead, I-I'd love to see..." Aoshiru smiled weakly, fidgeting with his hands. There's no need to be nervous, no need...

[hospital-darkness]

Three Words, A Secret (@green-invalid)

..Well, here goes then.

She could clearly read the words on the paper, careful, dear to her, even if they were words of someone much younger than her. She had worked to learn these letters and write them. To read. Because whenever she tried, the words just wouldn’t come out. They hide, they did that for a long time.

Only now standing outside the door, did nervousness wash over her all over again. The rolled up paper at her side, the door was very obviously unlocked, he was there. What if he meant what he said before though, and Ana was wrong?

Imunity shook her head. She didn’t do all this to think back on ‘what if’s! She had her words written, ready.. she lifted her hand to knock on the door.

“A-Aoshiru? It’s me, Imunity!”

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Aoshiru jumped, his feeling of loneliness suddenly being replaced by fear, and then relief when he recognized the voice. "...I..Imunity..! I-I misse-..." Aoshiru let his voice drift away, changing his mind in the middle of the sentence. He felt his face get a bit hot from embarrassment. He shook his head a bit, trying to cool off. "...C-Come in..!"