if anyone wants to know my new acc message me :)
Sweet Seals For You, Always

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@greydayy
if anyone wants to know my new acc message me :)
…psst:
[Photo ID: text saying “People who are unable to experience joy from activities that once brought them delight and satisfaction may be suffering from anhedonia, a symptom of a raft of psychiatric disorders marked by a lost or greatly decreased capacity to experience joy and pleasure from the things and people that typically provided joy. People with anhedonia may lose interest not only in hobbies and social gatherings, but even in food and sex.”]
Anhedonia is most commonly associated with clinical depression, but is associated with a wide variety of other mental illnesses as well, from schizophrenia to PTSD, and even some physiological conditions like thyroid disorders, diabetes, and vitamin deficiency.
Anhedonia can take a number of forms and has a wide range of severity, from not feeling any positive emotions at all, to things you used to like doing “not hitting the same”.
Anhedonia is not normal, capitalism or no capitalism, and if you are experiencing it you should seek professional help. Presence of anhedonia is a major risk factor for suicide - if you have two otherwise “equally” depressed people and only one has anhedonia, that one is much more likely to attempt suicide. Even if you’re not suicidal, it, well, sucks. It has a negative effect on relationships (romantic and platonic). It reduces your likelihood to work towards your future - I’m not talking like “you don’t put in 110% at your shitty retail job in hopes of getting a promotion to secondary assistant sub-manager”, I mean things like eating food with nutrients, replacing the burnt-out lightbulb in your bathroom, staying in contact with your friend that moved away, practicing your drawing, and yeah, if it matters to you, it’ll probably screw up your grades/your job too, especially a passion-driven side-job. It inherently by definition involves you not being happy (or as happy as you could be), and isn’t that enough? It’s not something you should ignore and dismiss as a sign of the times.
It is, however, treatable in the great majority of cases. Talk therapy, medication, ECT, ketamine, TMS, vagus nerve stimulation, etcetera - between all the various treatments, there are verrrry few people for whom it is legitimately true that “nothing works”.
If you feel like this, GET HELP. It is almost definitely a sign of a larger condition, and ignoring it could very well be fatal - but also help, well - does help. YOU DON’T HAVE TO LIVE LIKE THIS. Even if it really is “just” this… this sucks, and you don’t have to put up with it.
Okay I don't feel so pukey anymore
CAN I LIKE KILL MYSELF
Feel like puking rn idk why..
TRIGGER WARN
So the day before I was talking to my friend and how her and another of our close friend are not talking at all and I'm just so hurt idk how both mist be even feeling cause they were the best of friends and now it's like they hated each other but have to bear each other kinda people and I don't meet them often but whenever I do it's like their completely fine nothing's wrong when actually it is and I feel so fucking horrible and terrible and there was stuff I realised o my birthday and it's literally been on my mind like 25/8 since then I just feel so down and like crying whenever I think about it like.. shouldn't the day be about the person and even though like we clicked pictures it was like it was just for sm and imma just like why can't we just have it for ourselves and then it's my day why 10000 other fuckin people gotta post it and there were problems with my phone and them I was just like fuck it they wanna show people chuck people already saw they don't need to see the same for the fucking 2861991837th time and then stuff in school happend and I was just so down I just went to the bathroom had a panic attack cried again and then came out like nothing happend cause no one should know.
I'm just tired of people.. everything.. just wanna cry the whole time.. And wish I never existed
I'm just...sad..
It's been a month :(
f*ck everyone
fuck everything bro
:((
Ok story time:(TRIGGER WARNING)
So I have vacation for 2 weeks and I was like so prepared I'll study and all and I'll clean and sort everything today. Really determined. And then my grandmom told me to clean and I FUCKIN HATE PEOPLE TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!!!!!!! SO I WAS LIK3 FUCK IT I AIN'T DOIN IT!!! After sometime I was like ok I'll still do it!!!! AND AGAIN SHE TOLD ME AND I WAS JUST SO FUCKING PISSED OFF LIKE I'M NOT DOIN SHIT ANYMORE I MEAN WTF WHY WE STILL BREATHING BRO????? So I went for a shower after that and I was thinking about it and had a fucking panic attack I was literally sitting there crying my fucking eyes out trying to control my breathing with MY MIND STILL HAVING THOUGHTS OF WHAT CAUSED IT AND ALL!!!!!!! And it took me time to calm down but whatever I'M SICK AND FUCKING TIRWD OF PEOPEL TWLLING ME WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes you just wanna die
*most times
Sometimes you just wanna die
Fuck life honestly
Wow.. it's actually been a year since that incident :(