Ronan and his emotional support cow

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Ronan and his emotional support cow
adam parrish + the potential for villainy
maggie stiefvater, the dream thieves⎮interview with bugs by @nutnoce⎮unknown source⎮maggie stiefvater, the raven boys⎮@veniennes on tiktok⎮maggie stiefvater, call down the hawk⎮warsan shire, souvenir⎮unknown source⎮art by @gender0bender⎮maggie stiefvater, blue lily, lily blue⎮clarice lispector, the hour of the star⎮art by @heavensghost⎮maggie stiefvater, call down the hawk
i've been rereading the dream thieves and find it super interesting to consider ronan's sexuality and his second secret through a specifically catholic framework. throughout trb and tdt, there are obviously multiple nods to ronan being gay: "i'm always straight" "that's the biggest lie you've ever told", "ronan wasn't a fan of lamps," the double meaning of "i know what you are" said by both kavinsky and declan, etc. ronan grapples with both his identity as a dreamer and his sexuality in tdt—"please god what am i tell me what i am"—yet the culmination of ronan's self-acceptance isn't just overcoming self-hatred and admitting that he's gay. it's specifically tied to his feelings for adam: "ronan's second secret was adam parrish." this is a way to overtly communicate that he's gay in-text, but there's nuance in the fact that his second secret is not generalized and identity-based, but intertwined with his attraction to a specific person.
now allow me to dive into the catholicism of it all, because it's interesting how ronan coming to terms with his sexuality is informed by catholic vs. protestant stances on queerness (very broadly speaking). whereas many protestant christian religions encourage praying the gay away and becoming heterosexual through god's will (aka conversion therapy), the stance of the catholic church on homosexuality is more along the lines of "you can't control that you have same-sex desire, but everyone has their crosses to bear so just don't act on it." as such, the catechism states that “homosexual persons are called to chastity.” (in the 1986 letter, the cardinal says, "although the particular inclination of the homosexual person is not a sin, it is a more or less strong tendency ordered toward an intrinsic moral evil; and thus the inclination itself must be seen as an objective disorder." this article also provides context to the catholic church's views on queerness.) all in all, there's that distinction between being gay vs. acting on it. gay thoughts vs gay actions. you can see this echoed in ronan's arc and how he struggles with his sexuality in several key ways.
for one thing, ronan is more concerned with concealment and repression than he is with changing or "fixing" his sexuality. his shame stems from lacking the vocabulary to understand or accept himself in numerous ways, but i wouldn't say ronan expends much energy trying to pray the gay away. ronan is pretty much allergic to attempting to change himself or conform to what others want, and this is no exception. for example, his acknowledgement that he has no interest in lamps, i.e. women, is very matter-of-fact. therein lies that catholic acceptance of his homosexuality; ronan cannot control what he is, but he can control whether he acts on it or not. i've seen analysis that considers ronan's sexuality as totally buried prior to tdt vs. his sexuality being something he's already open about prior to tdt; for me, the truth is probably somewhere in the middle because of that gay thoughts vs. gay actions split. the beginning of tdt cements this: "the second secret was perfect in its concealment. ronan did not say it. ronan did not think it. he never put lyrics to the second secret, the one he kept from himself." we know adam is his second secret, thus the tangible nature of his feelings for adam is what he's keeping from himself, not merely the fact that he's gay.
tdt is where ronan is specifically grappling with the possibility of his gay urges becoming action. imo the earliest example of this is the dollar city scene, with ronan wanting to punch the wall over gansey looking like "very clearly a real human, an attainable human." the word attainable speaks again to the idea of attraction as a contained feeling vs. something that ronan could act on (not necessarily with gansey, but it's broaching that difference as a concept). later on there's the adam-kavinsky sex dream after which ronan wakes up "ashamed and euphoric." the dream has given multiple faces to a nameless concealed desire, which has again made it a more real possibility and therefore what ronan has been trying to avoid. in a dream with kavinsky, "it felt like anything could happen. all of his secrets felt dangerously close to the surface." again, the idea of something happening, of a feeling being acted upon. and finally, when adam confronts ronan about his rent, "something inside ronan unwound and he almost said something." repeatedly an emphasis is placed on ronan's holding back, on concealing himself through refusing to act on what he feels.
all this to say! this is why it's so intentional and brilliant that the reveal of ronan's second secret culminates in his feelings for adam. in this admission, ronan's repressed sexuality becomes something with a tangible focal point. ronan has to confront his sexuality as something he can and DOES want to act on because of his attraction to adam, who is real and attainable. and to bring it back to his catholicism—this falls perfectly in line with ronan having an ingrained view of sexuality as an "inclination" that can't be changed vs. the sin being if he were to act on that inclination. it is a huuuuuuge step, then, for ronan to accept not just his desire for adam but the inevitability that he wants to act on those feelings ("it was hard not to stare at the odd and elegant lines of his face"; and in trk, "he’d let [his feelings] overflow and now there wasn’t a damn place in the ocean that wouldn’t catch fire if he dropped a match"). we don't see ronan attempt to talk himself out of who and what he is; rather, we see his indecision and hesitance when it comes to what he does and what he allows himself to do. that's why it's so impactful when ronan stops keeping his second secret from himself—and the way that reveal is informed heavily by his catholic faith adds so much additional nuance.
Blue is white in the books
See that would make sense because her mother is described as having a local accent and i dont know how much non school related immigration henrietta virginia is getting but then this begs the question how did it become such widespread fanon for blue to be a poc? And maura? Because whilst reading the book i never imagined her as white and obv i looked at fanart and shes some degree of brown in almost all of them and i was more than happy to reconcile this with my own vague image of her.
Orla, Calla, and Jimi are people of colour. Readers took the “cousin” line (I think it was cousin or sister or something, idk) literally so they assumed Blue was PoC.
And for those who didn’t harp on that line, it was more of an attempt to diversify the main cast. They didn’t want the dead boy to be a person of colour. They didn’t want the abused boy to be a person of colour. They didn’t want the son of a Republican family to be a person of colour (even though this would have been the best choice of the boys anyway).
They DID want Ronan to be black until Maggie actually made a fantastic argument about that: Ronan drinks, gets into fights, has a bit of a record, drops out of school… like why would HE be the best option when he also fits all these negative stereotypes about black people?
Stief knew what she was doing writing the books. She still had a very diverse cast (just not the way tumblr people seem to think is valid, I guess). She debated on bringing Henry into the main crew or not and her editor basically said she’s damned if she does, damned if she doesn’t (which is 100% true). So she decided to go for it and thank G-d she did. Henry is amazing and really oddly realistic and not stereotypical… without Stiefvater beating readers over the head about systemic racism and getting preachy (like if you can’t read between the lines, take some media literacy courses please, authors do not owe you explanations for everything in their books).
But yeah, the fans wanted a PoC Blue and so that’s what they got. Stief said she can’t take credit for that because she never explicitly stated Blue’s race in the books. She acknowledged that, once a book is published, the fans tend to create the story as they read it and fall in love with it. Blue being PoC doesn’t detract from her storyline or change it (yes, even for a poor girl living in rural VA in the 2010s - Stief doesn’t preach in her books) and it’s what people wanted. So there we go.
there is NOTHING as heartbreakingly lovely as the line: “tell me to go to school closer to you and I will.”
This scene has always stuck with me, purely because of how that line is such an out-of-character thing for Adam to say, but he says it anyway. These words are coming out of the mouth of ADAM PARRISH. This is the same person who had to pretty much kill himself over getting good grades, getting out of Henrietta, and making something of himself. Adam refused to give up on that dream for literally everyone, and we can kind of watch his friendship with Gansey deteriorate because of his pride/how insistent he is that he gets into Harvard.
And he does. But in this scene, Adam witnesses Ronan crying after trashing his dorm room. barely even hesitates before telling Ronan he would leave Harvard just to be CLOSER TO HIM??? like Maggie is actually the sickest person out there for doing that. The fact that he was offering to literally THROW AWAY a life’s dedication of hard work and sacrifice just so Ronan would be COMFORTABLE??? oh I’m going to be SICK. (Of course Ronan declines the offer, and Adam is somewhat relieved he does, it’s still so heartbreaking to see him even propose that idea in the first place)
y'all spin the whole 'kavinsky made ronan worse' angle too often. I don't think we're giving ronan enough credit here for how much he did not give a single fuck about anything kavinsky said. poor man was trying his absolute HARDEST to give effective villain monologues and expose ronan's repressed homosexuality and every time he was like ok. are you done now. also stop saying you fucked my mum she would do no such thing
Hello i'm a normal person here's some stuff i drew to illustrate different traits different "person getting controlled" tropes can have
why is it fascinating tho
wtffff what are they doing here (-> inside my head constantly)
It's a lot, sometimes. When you finish a story, a show or book or fic or whatever, that is one of those ones in your heart that's like. Real. Real, not in a "i'm out of touch with reality and can't separate it from fiction" sort of way but in a "it doesn't really matter that the material is fictional, I was subsumed enough in it that I felt deeply - and my emotions, my love for these characters, my experience and memory of these events in their story, are still real regardless" sort of way.
And like. The tragedy of it is that in the end, you are alone in it, in the grief of the story itself, or the ending of it, because they're not real. The people you shared the experience of the story with are not real, and so you have nobody to feel that with but your own mind.
Hell of a thing.
Things I need in a currently nonexistent raven cycle adaptation: (Gansey)
1. The middle part flow haircut but like longer because that is the “not like other girls” of the preppy boy haircuts and Gansey is not like other preppy boys
2. Ik he wears all those brightly colored polos but keep in mind, he’s been everywhere, he probably has so many souvenir sweatshirts—picture extremely tired Gansey, just threw on an oversized crew neck from like Wales or Singapore or some other place he’s been LIKE—and you know he wears those so people ask him about all the places he’s been
3. He has the newest iPhone. We love that he likes vintage things but a block of a phone is not going to help him find Glendower the way an iPhone 37 and a half will. Plus, imagine Adam’s face in every scene when Gansey has to check the time with a thousand dollars worth of capitalist propaganda
4. Acting wise, he is always looking up. At the stars, at the trees, at the future. The most prominent expression on his face is WONDER. I can envision so many scenes where he just turns to Blue or Adam with this wide-eyed excitement, and suddenly everyone else in the room is excited too. Just AAAH
5. Adam says, “Ronan and Gansey were laughing at a joke where the rest of the world was the punch line” when he’s talking about how cruel he thought Gansey was. I want a flashback of Gansey and Ronan being those best friends at the back table that came in late because they couldn’t stop giggling and now they won’t stop smirking at the teacher, and then Adam’s just at the front trying not to break his pencil in half
6. Ok imagine this: close up of Gansey, hands behind his head, glasses half sliding down his face. He looks asleep, but he definitely isn’t. The screen is relatively dark, tinted blue. He has AirPods in, and we hear muffled Phoebe Bridgers or Lizzy McAlpine or some other sad, wistful female artist BC GANSEY IS A SAD WISTFUL FEMALE ARTIST ON THE INSIDE. The music starts crescendoing, then there’s this loud screech over top of everything and Gansey’s eyes snap open and then we’re catapulted into the “what fresh hell is this?” scene
Um. *clears throat* Anyway.
hearing "ley line" like a sleeper agent activation phrase and having to shut the hell up when someone starts explaining how they work in any other media. nodding all uh huh yeah okay that's cool. but are there creatures made of ley line energy though. do sentient forests sit on them. do the forests yearn. do they dream.
The one Adam Parrish POV that was removed from Mister Impossible.
when he said “that’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told,” was adam calling ronan a liar or a fag or both
liar
fag
liarfag
we are talking about welsh rebel owen glendower in my literature course...i fear i may not be strong enough
I don't know who needs to hear this, but as a creator -
I am fine with "the audience" -
downloading my fics
printing my fics
copy/pasting or screenshotting my fics
sharing your saved copy of my fics with anyone else who might want them in the unlikely but never impossible case that my fics are no longer available on ao3
making a book of my fic(s) and running your fingers across the pages while lovingly whispering my precioussss
doing these things with anything I create for fandom, such as meta, headcanons, au nonsense like 'texts from the brodinsons,' etc
I am not fine with "the audience"
doing any of the above with the purpose/intent of plagiarizing my work or passing it off as their own in any capacity
feeding my work into ai for any reason whatsoever
Save the fandom things. Preserve the fandom things. Respect the fandom things.
Enjoy the fandom things.
And remember to ask the authors permission if you aren’t sure!
Most authors are very cool with you making physical copies but some would rather you don’t!
adam really visited 300 fox way for the first time wearing a faded coca-cola t-shirt, camo cargo pants with ripped knees, eau de parking garage and a bruised face
the art that I drew under the STRONG impression of re-reading the raven cycle! thanks to everyone who writes pleasant, funny and nice words in tags! thank you thank you thank you!! 💖😳🥰 this is a very good motivation to continue drawing