-we're all just bacteria tractors-

I can't believe twitter is shutting down and all I get is this cringey shrine to my youth

[120000-ants-deactivated20210730]

[thesecretuncle]

WAIT

HOL UP

[leehttuce]

[ddesole]

[1rakus]

shadowheart talks about lady shar like how roman catholics talk about the virgin mary

[1rakus]

(points) catholic

[xteacupx]

So for a while I used to be overdramatic and say “mistakes were made”, but then that evolved into saying “I’ve made a mistake” in a tone of shocked realisation, but this economy has forced me to be more brief and make more errors, so now I just announce “MISTAKE” whenever appropriate.

[emergency-broadcast-system]

[littleguysdaily]

This might be some of the finest honking that this blog has ever seen.

[dillyt]

well the horrors may be beyond YOUR comprehension, but I comprehend them perfectly

[wizard-email]

[techno-poet]

[techno-poet]

you know what? that’s fair

[pocketss]

mmm soob

[charlesoberonn]

[aleisters]

having halsin as a companion and party member is very funny because none of this shit is his problem he just likes you so much

[agardenandlibrary]

oh little coffee drink we're really in it now

[sunshinetomorrow]

my grubhub being delivered by a wizard or some sort of apostle

[biggaybunny]

Fever is a hilarious immune response. Our bodies tell the disease “hey, wanna see which one of us dies of overheating first? No? Too bad.” and honestly they’re not even the winners a decent chunk of the time but it works often enough that we never evolved it away or anything. Fantastic work.

[oliviawebsite]

this reply is killing me

[fleshdyke]

theyre going to put a fucking band on me

[fleshdyke]

the ladies love my colourful and bright leg band

[fleshdyke]

i have fathered a disproportionate amount of the local egg population as a result of my colourful and bright leg band

[notajerusalemcricket-deactivate]

girl help your colorful and bright leg band is disrupting the ornithologists' data

[fleshdyke]

someone’s mad he doesn’t have a colourful and bright leg band

[notajerusalemcricket-deactivate]

youre fucking up my statistics

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

know what else is being fucked?

[notajerusalemcricket-deactivate]

shut

[fleshdyke]

AAGH AAGH AAGH

[omegaverse]

women need gnocchi

[snacco]

many are saying this

[pothosrays]

crow 522

[peachdoxie]

I think Discord should allow server admins to change the collective noun to replace "people" in "Several people are typing...."

[king-of-gay5000]

"Several Rats are typing...."

"Several Hoes (affectionate) are typing...."

"Several Blond Headed Himbos (derogatory) are typing...."

"Several Feral cats in a trench coat are typing...."

"Several greesy haired gamers are typing...."

"Several effeminate gamers are typing...."

[scullysflannel]

I think derry girls should have one thousand emmys