So, first thing I learned here- gringa is a bad word! Or at least, not a nice one. I know why, because it came from here, but seeing as my mission is to turn it around and use it with pride, I will go ahead and use just half of it and save the other half out of respect. (For those who don't know, my other name is "la painga." Painga = half paisa, half gringa.)
As it is the year of internet list, I hereby list some observations from Mexico City. At first I was going to give it the title "You know you're a painga IF, but then I read my observations and I was like oh holy graduated cylinders, I have really become a nerd. SO, I hereby name this list you know you're a painga AND a nerd IF:
1. The first place you go is Bellas Artes to see the curtain made of cut glass from Tiffany's...
... and then you get super nervous when they give you a speech on the history of the museum and say they're going to quiz you afterward and give away prizes. Yes please, I would like everyone to realize that I am the smartest one in the room and give me a prize for it. ( I did not win).
2. You are grossed out by the guy wearing a lab coat in the subway...
...Keep that dirty shit in the lab dude! I am now imagining all the things that could be creeping onto me from your coat... hookworms, trypanosomes, plasmodium, chickunguynanganagu virus, chicken poo, who knows, yuck. Image credit: nightmarefactory.com
3. The second place you go is the Trotsky museum and you are throroughly fascinated that the animal stalls still have poop in them...
...and you immediately take a look to decipher what kind of poop it is, and then after thinking at first it is rat poop, you decide it is mouse poop. You then try and talk to the guide about it and he says, oh it's because they left everything as it was from the day he was murdered in 1940 and then you think to yourself what a fucking idiot, rabbit poop would not last 74 years... definitely mouse poop.
(Image: animal stalls from Trotsky museum. Trotsky believed it was important to always keep connected with the workers and so he raised his own chickens and rabbits. This totally earned my respect, which he is concerned about.)
4. You are puzzled yet intrigued by the large fans in the subway blowing water around everywhere...
You also wonder if there is a real source of the water they are blowing or if they are actually just blowing around the moisture that has accumulated in the air from the naturally high levels of humidity found in this underground hole, which now that you realize, has no ventilation and is really crowded, cue the panic. (Image credit: http://www.cloudburst.com)
5. You LOVE that the food is so picante...
...which makes you think of the experiment that your students did that one time to see if picante kills intestinal worms. Image credit: laspicygringa.blogspot.com
6. You find this sign hilarious.
7. You are really touched by the kindness of strangers.
On the subway I dropped something and I had a seat, and some woman who was standing ran across the train to pick it up and hand it to me, almost falling along way, because the train was in motion. The lady at the sandwich shop didn't have any cut onion when I asked for it on my sandwich, so she got an onion out and cut it up for me. All for a sandwich I was going to pay less than $3 for. Then the sales guy at the shoe store was super worried that I didn't have a map and so he got out his own map and gave it to me and showed me everywhere I needed to go in Mexico and what food I needed to try. What's going on? I mean, it was super nice, but as I write this, I have my scrunched up suspicious face on.
8. The super shittastic weather makes you so cold, that you are forced to buy a new coat, new pants and new shoes, which you are really upset about.
image: Isla Fisher, Confessions of a shopaholic, copyright is believed to belong to Touchstone Pictures.
