Im Tired
I am tired of having a heart.
I am tired of feeling the emptiness that is inside.
I long to live, yet I feel as if I am fighting a war of attrition every day.
I am not special in my hurt, loss, or sadness.
I don't want pity, I want freedom.
The freedom to taste food differently.
The freedom to breathe air and not have it tinged with the poison of the next thought, the next exhaustion.
My body is tired, and tears seldom come.
The tired tears I push out to alleviate some pain only help so much.
Rest is just the reset of the next battle.
Tired, Tired of looking for purpose that was once found.
Tired of the Journey of a Thousand Steps that resets each day.
Tired of feeling like my hands can't craft my future any longer.
I yearn to be alive, yet I pilot this organic shell in a place that feels alien.
A garden I used to tend now burned to ash, and still I water it.
I am tired, but still I punch in.
I am tired, and still I breathe.
I am tired, and I don't know why I keep going.
