sanctuary.

[gruesomejack]

Rabbit putting together Chris is Alex when he's beating the shit out of him and just,,, being so pissed and relieved

[purposefully-lost]

The old polaroid camera clicked, then whirred in Alex's hands as the image of Desmond Baker's dead face was impressed upon the film and then spat out into the daylight. Alex carefully removed the still-developing image from the camera and stepped over to the back patio, where there was a little bit of shade he could leave the camera and the photo until he was done cleaning up.

He had to admit, looking back over the crumpled body lying in the middle of the yard, that this felt different from every one that had come before it. Michael, Dennis, Cameron-- those had all been done out of pure necessity. He wasn't proud or elated that he had to take them out of the world, only relieved that he no longer had to worry about them. They weren't his problem anymore. Desmond had never really been his problem in the first place, but the spatter of blood where it spread out over the grass and arced against the wooden fence looked to him like a work of art. He did feel pride, and a whole lot of it.

Walking back over to him, he grabbed Desmond by the wrists and started to drag him backwards. The man's face was practically nothing but pulp anymore-- that rusty shovel Alex had paid cash for at a flea market across the state line had done its job as well as could be expected. There wouldn't be any use in cleaning up the blood or hiding the murder weapon, since he'd documented it for Rabbit to find, anyway. The only thing he needed to do was sweep the place for his own fingerprints and get out of dodge.

He left Desmond lying in the living room next to his parents. Alex had shown up just that morning, knocking on their door and claiming to be a journalist who wanted their side of Jack Stone's story. He'd known Desmond was hungover and probably passed out upstairs, and figured he'd deal with him last. He hadn't entirely expected to get away with taking a knife to his parents without getting caught, but he supposed maybe they'd known it'd all come back to bite them in the ass, one day.

He washed up in their bathroom, changed his clothes, and spent a while wiping down surfaces to blot out any evidence. Then he retrieved his camera, gave the polaroid a cursory glance to see that it'd developed bright and clear, and left. A package was dumped at the post office by the mid-afternoon, the return address Rabbit's old house. Tucked inside, safe and sound, was a well-loved paper back. Alex had left three polaroids between the pages, sticking just slightly out of the top edge. He didn't sign his name anywhere-- he figured Rabbit would know who had sent it.

@gruesomejack

[gruesomejack]

The package was on the table, unopened. Three men stood around it, all wearing the same grim expression as they studied the return address stamped in the corner.

"What if it's like-... anthrax?"

Bobby and Rabbit both shot an annoyed sort of look at their band mate, causing Andy to frown. "Would you put it past Des? C'mon, man, he's-"

"He's too stupid to even know what anthrax is." Bobby argued, "I wouldn't put it past him if he had the capacity to come up with the idea."

"You're not giving him enough credit! Remember when he dumped a box of mice in Mrs. Ramirez's desk? He-"

Drowning the two of them out, Rabbit reached for the package and gave it a soft shake. It didn't sound like anything particularly dangerous. And although he didn't want to entertain the argument his friends were having, he also didn't think Desmond could be intelligent enough to mail something that harmful. So, he ripped the top.

"Jon!" Andy stopped mid sentence and started grabbing. Rabbit held him back with a palm to the forehead, using his other hand to finally shake the contents onto the coffee table. The book hit the glass with a soft thud. Bobby's brows furrowed low enough to dip from under the hair in his eyes. Andy blinked before his expression shifted to something almost disappointed. "Lord of the Rings? What kind of mind game is he playing?" He muttered, "Jon- Hello?"

The concern on Rabbit's face had disappeared. He recognized that book-- In fact, he knew it well. It was his own copy. Scooping it up into his hands, his thumb found the scrape in the spine where he'd dug into it with a pencil during study hall. Did Chris send this? For a moment, he felt something giddy sparkle in his chest. It was plausible, right? In the interview, he'd asked her to get in touch. -- Except, he'd read what came out of that, and Alex had cut that exchange out completely.

Rabbit felt his chest tighten. Alex had tried to kill him that day, making his obsession with him known in nearly a biblical sense. Mentioning Chris might've put a big target on her back. No. No, nonono-

Cursing under his breath, he started fanning through pages, looking for a note or a letter of some sort.

"Jack- Something fell." Bobby bent over and grabbed it off the floor. A picture? Flipping it over, it took only a moment before it was falling again.

"Bobby?" Andy frowned and reached for it then, his eyes squinting as he pulled it up to his face. A beat passed and the man choked, shoving it away from him, towards Rabbit like he couldn't bear to keep holding it any longer. "Oh, god-"

"What? What is it?" Snatching it from him, Rabbit pulled his glasses from where they'd been perched in his hair down onto his nose. A sharp breath filled his lungs. The Polaroid in his hand was... gruesome. Desmond Baker posed in the living room next to his parents-- All three of them dead. Desmond himself looked like he'd been beaten to death with a-... With a shovel. It'd been as if someone had shown up and finished the job he'd started almost a decade ago. They'd been brutal. Passionate. It made him sick to his stomach.

Looking at Bobby, he watched the man take a half step back, and then another until he'd walked himself out of the room. His eyes then found Andy, who was staring at him in a way that suggested concern. Glancing away and then back to the photo, he tried to ignore the sparkle bubbling back up in his chest.

------

"You can't go."

Rabbit stared at Andy, at the pout on his face. They were already at the airport-- He knew well enough that he wasn't going to be able to stop him. Bobby had already left them a few days ago to visit extended family. They had a funeral to prepare for. On top of that, he felt an obligation to check on Chris.

He'd scrolled for hours through every social media site he could think of. He even called the high school, but nobody had heard from her in a long time. Still, he couldn't help but worry. He'd gotten The Bakers killed by mentioning how terrible they'd been to him-- It scared him to think about what Alex might do to someone who sort of liked him. He'd already been in contact with her once if he was bold enough to send that book. He just- He had to make sure she wasn't dead because of him.

"...Good luck with the press tour, Campbell."

------

He still could find her. Rabbit had searched the whole goddamn town and outskirts and nobody knew or had talked to Chris in years. It didn't make him feel better. Not at all.

Scrubbing hard at his face, he sat down on the couch. Baby was pacing in the kitchen-- This was just the sort of place she preferred over their home in LA. She loved a good small town cottage where the walls where papered and smelled like home cooking. He did too. If he hadn't been here for something so terrible, he might've taken the time to enjoy it.

The hound sneezed. Circling the kitchen table, she lifted her big nose into the air and started to sniff. Wrinkled brows pushed together, her heavy lips started to twitch into a low growl.

"Relax." Rabbit sighed and stood back up. "I'm gonna get changed and then we're ordering pizza." He told her, "Okay? But you've gotta go lay down."

Peeling her eyes from the kitchen window, the dog grumbled. Rabbit watched her stomp over to the dog bed in the living room, and smiled for her. "Good girl. I'll be right back."

[gruesomejack]

Two interviews set up??? 🙌

[gruesomejack]

smoke show ❤️

[gruesomejack]

"Why are you staring at me?"

He didn't usually keep it that long. Rabbit had ignored the plea for explanation to continue looking, his eyes roaming across the man's bearded jaw. Alex's face was always sort of scratchy with stubble, no more than a week's worth of growth lingering on his cheeks. Rabbit never uttered a complaint-- There was nothing to complain about; he loved seeing any and all of Alex in whatever way he felt like showing up for him that day.

And yet, there was something magnetic in the thicker, scruffy patches growing there now.

"Jack. Hey, are you listening to-?" Cut off by a soft gasp, Alex's arms were up, instinctively wrapping themselves around the body that'd quickly invaded his space. Rabbit's breath was warm on his neck, making him shiver. Alex parted his lips to speak, but before he could get anything out, Jack had butted his cheek against his own. It was almost like a cat-- Exactly like a cat in the way he rubbed against him, even going as far as pushing out a low, sweet little noise from his throat that reminded Alex of a purr.

"Bunny..." The endearment came out in a breath, touched with a confused, but welcoming laugh. "What's up with you?" Not that he minded at all. Every trip he made up to the cabin was filled with the anticipation of Jack Stone's inability to keep his hands to himself. This, however, was a little different than that.

"Your beard's longer." Rabbit's voice was soft, but matter-of-fact. Face tilting, he buried his nose into the wiry patch of hair and breathed deep, taking in the scent of Alex's skin. It was nice. He liked the feeling of it against his lips, and the way it felt when the hair on his own face brushed against it.

"Yeah, I've been pretty busy the last few weeks. I wasn't really thinking about shaving." Alex shrugged, "Sorry if it's-" Rabbit sniffed him again and pushed his face into the soft skin under his jaw. Suddenly, it was crystal clear this wasn't something he was supposed to be apologizing for. "...Do you like it?"

The response he got was another low hum, followed by a nuzzle against his neck. Alex felt his face warm. Maybe he'd just have to forget his razor more often.

[gruesomejack]

[gruesomejack]

Hey,,, Alex growing out his scruffy beard and Rabbit snuggling up to it cat style thank you

[cillsmurph-deactivated20250130]

WHAT I DO WHEN IM NOT STREAMING | Hasanabi Vlog

[gruesomejack]

I keep thinking about Rabbit banging out a new EP and avoiding press and interviews about the Killer Instinct album and worrying his band mates because he won't talk to them because he's too busy thinking about a guy who nearly killed him

[gruesomejack]

I'm on my period so you know what that means

Projecting Cramps onto Andy Campbell

[gruesomejack]

I should use this as a reference for Rabbit and Alex

[gruesomejack]

you're trapped in purgatory and your only way out is a big freaky bunny man

[gruesomejack]

Brown eyes wandered around the living room of a tiny Airbnb. It was cute-- Well maintained and intimate. Usually when he was invited to do a one-on-one, it was in a studio room. This, however, was comfortable. He felt like he could really settle in and relax here.

And it definitely helped that the journalist setting up was a total smoke-show. Alex Prescott had a stern look about him, his grey eyes clear and icy beneath the retro-style glasses on his square, handsome face. Rabbit found himself tracking the man around the place, watching the way his body moved and the expression shift on his face while he went through his checklist. He'd always had a thing for blondes and Alex was just that. His locks were worn long, half tucked away behind his ears like he only half cared if it was in his eyes. It was charming, and he wondered if he'd let him take him out for a drink after this.

Rabbit scratched idly at the tattoos on his forearm, still watching Alex with curious eyes. "You're really pulling out all the stops, huh?" He asked, a lopsided smile pulling across his lips. "Is this where you're staying while you're in town or did you rent this place just for me?" A tease? A flirt? He didn't really know. Watching the man made his heart flutter in a way that didn't reflect the sex-symbol status he'd been given. He never really agreed with it in the first place, but he didn't argue. "Do you do a lot of work in the entertainment industry?"

@purposefully-lost

[purposefully-lost]

He'd been feeling tense ever since he'd gotten the call. Alex hadn't let himself expect a response-- it was only the first time he'd reached out about interviewing Jonathan Stone, but he had been playing his cards carefully. He'd spent the past several months dipping into writing intimate, personal pieces for entertainers and musicians, working his way ever so slowly towards rock music circles and a specific band he couldn't get out of his head.

It was the most unfortunate fixation of his yet. It'd been going on five years, and still no one missed Cam or put much thought into where he'd disappeared to. The last he'd checked, Michael was still presumed missing in the Appalachian wilderness. With Dennis, he'd been a little reckless, but he'd never been a suspect. He was certain that the man sitting at the little dining table behind him would be the first to put him on the map.

Alex glanced back at him when he spoke, pausing in the act of pouring them both a drink. It wasn't the first time he'd seen Rabbit in person- their paths had crossed at shows and after parties before, whether Rabbit knew it or not- but it was his first time seeing him this up close. Dressed down, with that deep brown gaze entirely on Alex. It made a warm feeling crawl up the back of his neck. It was a shame, but he had to do it. No one got to break his heart, not even from a distance.

"I usually don't have the budget for places like this," he said honestly, going back to pouring. "But it's better for the interviews. It's easier to talk if you're comfortable, and most people aren't comfortable in a studio. And if they've got as much of a following as you do," he tilted his head while he spoke, shifting a little of his weight to ensure his actions were covered. He'd already crushed half a pill and dropped it now into Rabbit's drink. He wasn't all that worried about him noticing- there wasn't any reason to suspect an accredited journalist was going to poison you. And the man was so big, he honestly didn't expect it to do much to him, but hopefully it would do just enough. "You run the risk of being seen at a hotel."

Turning back to him, he offered him a brief, small smile and returned to the table to sit across from him. He slid his glass over, then turned to the outdated digital voice recorder he'd left lying between them. He could've used his microphone and his laptop, or even his cellphone, but he preffered analogue. Harder to trace that way. "I was surprised you agreed to this," he said, glancing up at him as he waited for the recorder to start up. "You're usually a pretty private person."

[gruesomejack]

When those eyes met his own, Rabbit's smile spread to dimple his cheeks. Alex chattered like a man with a lot on his mind, and it made him wonder if he was making him nervous. "Aren't you courteous." He mused and reached for the drink offered. "Thanks."

Drumming his fingers along the side of the glass, he pushed out a soft laugh before bringing it to his mouth. It was bitter-- Not that he minded. He'd always liked the way gin lingered on his tongue, floral and direct. You couldn't mistake it for anything else. Normally he wouldn't imbibe during something like this, but one drink wasn't something he was worried about. It usually took him double or triple anything Andy or Bobby had to get him swaying, and this was barely enough to give him a buzz.

"I like my personal life and my professional life separate. Less stress that way, you know? But," He said, watching the other man. "This album is particularly personal, so I thought I'd let people see a little more of me." Brow cocked, he leaned just slightly back in his seat, his shoulders easing. "Plus, after I got your request, I went back and read some of your other articles." He smiled again, his eyes soft and shining. "I like the way your voice carries on the page. You're very direct, but I can still feel the wonder in your words." Another sip and Rabbit shrugged, "You felt like the right person for the job."

Eyes falling to the recorder, he hummed, amused. That thing had to be an antique. 80s maybe? 90s at the latest. "That explains it. You're recording on a dinosaur and writing by hand." He said, flashing a small grin. "That's some dedication. You must really love your work."

Rabbit set his drink down then, his chin tilting. "I noticed you had a few articles written outside of the entertainment sphere. Do you have a favorite kind of story to write?"

[purposefully-lost]

Alex watched him carefully as he brought the glass to his lips. He hoped it took its time to set in. As much as this was all a set-up for what came next, he did want to do the interview. There were few men in the world as fascinating or as mysterious as Jonathan Stone, and even if Alex never got to publish the article, he'd be happy just to learn more about him. Getting to know someone through a screen could only get you so far.

His eyes caught for a moment on the scar that cut through Rabbit's upper lip. When he watched interviews, he always found himself staring at it, wondering where it came from and how it might feel under his own lips. They wouldn't get that far, but if Rabbit was anything like the others, he would be able to stop worrying over it once he was gone.

Alex looked up at him, warming, and set the recorder back down between them. He shrugged in response. "I like.. personal stories. Stuff like this. Stuff that'll really make an impact." He leaned over the table and pressed the record button, watching the display for confirmation that it was running before he peered back up at him. "You ready to get started? Just state your name- the way you want me to write it down in the article, at least. And before we really get into things, tell me a little about the upcoming album. You said it's more personal?"

Honestly, that surprised him. A lot of the band's work already felt fairly intimate; from the beginning, they were writing about hard times and missed opportunities. They'd never shied away from their status as queer icons or sex symbols, and from hours of listening to the albums on repeat, Alex had a feeling that a little bit of Rabbit made it into every song. Maybe he was looking too closely, but he didn't think so. "What separates it from your previous work?"

[gruesomejack]

He liked that. The color on his cheeks. Perhaps it was too early to say, but Rabbit thought it suited him. Leaning forward, he spoke clearly for the device. "Jonathan Cadi Stone." He said, "But you're welcome to call me Jack."

Eyes back on Alex, he smiled again, though this time it was more thoughtful than giddy. He'd talked to Bobby beforehand-- He'd gotten the go-ahead to lay everything out on the table. It'd been almost ten years since they'd run away from home, and an equal amount of time since they'd talked to anyone there. If the Bakers had an issue with anything he said here and now, he'd be happy to take them to court for it. It wasn't slander if it was true.

"...When I was sixteen, I nearly killed my eldest brother." Rabbit reached for his drink again and drew his thumb along the lip as if it'd offer him a little comfort. "After years of both... physical and mental abuse at my adoptive family's hands, I couldn't take it anymore. I-... grabbed a shovel and started taking out all the pent up anger I'd been carrying..." He said, his words slow and deliberate. "If it wasn't for Bobby, I would've gone all the way. After he pulled me off and dragged me out, we booked it, moved across the country, and started Jack Rabbit." Biting the inside of his cheek, he glanced away and hummed quietly. "This album is inspired by that. All those feelings I had..." He said, "I've been writing since it happened-- Before it happened. Now I have enough to make something really good out of it."

Rabbit downed the rest of his drink and scratched at the spot between his brows, offering Alex a more sheepish smile. "This album is mine. All if our other work, for the most part, has been truly collaborative. But this is... God, this is my baby." He told him, "And I'm really grateful the guys are letting me do it."

[purposefully-lost]

Alex pulled his notebook over to himself and propped it up on the end of table, making a small note to himself of the time that he'd started the recording. Before he could jot anything else down, though, his gaze had moved back to Rabbit in surprise. He'd thought they were going to start easy- some pre-written promo spiel about the album that the band's team had no doubt written up for them already- but Rabbit was diving right off into the deep end.

It explained a lot, all of a sudden. Alex tried not to think too hard about that brief period of time when they'd shared a school and a neighborhood, he didn't think it had any effect on the burning feelings he felt for him now, but knowing he'd turned against Desmond snapped a lot of puzzle pieces into place. The flashing lights the night before Rabbit disappeared. Those early songs that were so full of rage and heartbreak. Jack Rabbit as a band had always managed to remain raw and real, but the early stuff was what still resonated with Alex the most. Now he knew why.

Rabbit was like him, he thought, watching him. His gaze was dark and intense. They could've been one and the same, if only Rabbit hadn't gotten interrupted.

He watched him down the rest of the glass and thought he could feel his own heartbeat rushing in his ears. They had to get moving with his interview, or else he'd lose his chance to speak to him entirely.

"Guess we know now why one of the tracks you've teased is called Killer Instinct," Alex said, glancing down at his notebook to make a quick note. When he looked up at him again, he couldn't help the small smile that was tugging at the corner of his lips. It was a little bittersweet, knowing the boy just down the road had been feeling the same as himself all those years ago. The trouble they could've gotten into, back then. "What was it like, those early years?" He asked, meeting his gaze. "You're on the road, you don't know if things are going to work out, but you're starting to build a cult following. You've got this secret you've been keeping about how things went down, and nothing at all to your name. How did you and Bobby manage?"

[gruesomejack]

There was relief in seeing that smile. He wasn't sure what sort of reaction that story would get out of the man, but he'd been prepared for it to be bad. Alex didn't seem upset at all, but just... curious.

"Lonely." He told him, earnest. "Exciting, stressful. Mostly lonely." Rabbit scratched at the white patch in his beard along the corner of his jaw where it matched the ones in his hair. They were a testament to all of that turmoil; the weight he carried turning him grey before he'd hit his twenties. "We focused on the music. Whether we were writing, practicing, or picking up any gig we could. I just wished-..." Trailing for a second, he hummed softly before trying again. "I wanted someone to reach out, at first, you know? I wanted someone from home to come calling, to show me I was missed." He said, "Which, eventually happened in the form of Andy following me out here. But he hadn't been the one I'd been writing songs about."

Dark eyes moved slowly over the man's face. Rabbit could feel a creeping fatigue moving through his limbs, though he chalked it up to all the traveling the band had been doing. He'd do his best to get a good sleep tonight and hopefully it'd sort itself out by tomorrow.

"It's kind of funny. I never had real friends growing up." He started, smiling softly. "And in some sort of... cosmic comedy kind of way, I started to make one right before I had to leave." Rabbit leaned back in his seat, his gaze growing fond and distant. "Sweet girl. Kind of strange in her ways, but really endearing to me..." He said, "She'd just moved to town, so we met late in the year. I think if it'd been any earlier, we would've been close." The smile on his face spread enough to dimple one of his cheeks, his expression nothing but warm. "Despite only talking to her a handful of times, she really made an impact. I thought about her a lot during those early years." He said, "Came through in my music too. Lots of... yearning for connection and missed opportunities." Pushing a curl from his face safely behind his ear, he chewed at the corner of his lip in thought. "I still wonder how she's doing." He told him, "She still has my copy of Two Towers."

Rabbit grinned then and moved a little closer to the tape recorder on the table. "I know it's ten years late, Chris, but if you're listening I'd still like to know what you thought of it." He said, "We should catch up."

[purposefully-lost]

Rabbit couldn't be talking about him. Alex watched him closely, the pen and notebook in his hands all but forgotten about as he moved on from the early days with Bobby to his time in school. From the moment he referenced his home, an uncomfortable, queasy feeling started to form at the bottom of Alex's stomach. He didn't like thinking about home. The one golden part of it had been the brief moments he'd shared with the man sitting across from him, but Rabbit wasn't supposed to remember all of that. He had to be talking about someone else-- it had to be a coincidence. Even when he mentioned the book by title, the one Alex still had packed into his bag in the other room, Rabbit had to be getting it wrong. Maybe he'd simply let someone else borrow a different book and he'd gotten the titles mixed up.

Alex watched him lean closer and had the feeling that he wanted to run, but couldn't. He'd grown still, tense, and hearing his old name in a familiar voice made the color drain from his face. He felt sick. We should catch up. Alex thought he might vomit.

"You wrote about her?" He asked, still watching him. The question didn't have the same cadence or confidence behind it that the others did. He hadn't planned on asking it. Alex sucked in a breath and sat up taller, his eyes moving over his face and searching for any evidence that he might be slowing down. They'd barely gotten started, but he didn't know how he was supposed to continue. Half of his brain was telling him to run from the table and go tear into his bag for that book, for proof of who he was. The other half was itching for the feeling of something sharp in his hand, something to protect himself with. He shook his head and looked back down at his notes.

"That- that brings me to another question," he said, and frowned at himself. He was known for being able to make an interview feel like a conversation, and he hadn't fumbled a segue like that in years. "Your music-- its always been very personal, very authentic. Does it ever worry you, putting so much of yourself out there?"

[gruesomejack]

"Mhm." Rabbit nodded like it was the easiest answer he'd given so far. Why wouldn't he? She was the closest thing he had to a real friend, even if they'd only known each other briefly. He wrote about her and the idea of her, really, whenever that loneliness started to creep in and eat at his bones. "All of those early songs that spoke of yearning for connection... I missed my friend and mourned deeply over what sort of relationship we could've had."

Huh. The fatigue in his limbs had crawled to his head, making his thoughts start to slow. Rabbit thought to the night before, trying to comb over how much he'd drank and smoked to see if he could blame it on that, but it hadn't that much. Right? Brows pinched, he rubbed at his cheek.

"Not much." He answered, trying to force himself back into the present. "I know there's been a lot of talk about para-social relationships in the past few years, but interactions with our fans are almost always... just great, you know? They're awesome." Rabbit smiled with dimpled cheeks, outwardly fond. "Of course you get your fanatics, but I try not to let that kind of stuff bother me." He said, "If I'm being honest, I think that because we're so authentic, it helps people grasp that we're human. Even with all the pomp and circumstance in our shows and videos, we struggle the same as they do."

Rabbit blinked. It was slow and heavy in the familiar sort of way his panic medication made him feel. A hot shock flicked up his spine while his eyes fell to the abandoned glass on the table. Pushing out a quiet laugh, he looked up, his pupils dilated as they locked onto the other man. "...Did you drug me?"

The words were whispered, touched with a soft slur. Rabbit grinned-- Angry. It was ironic that he'd just moments before told him he wasn't afraid of his fans hurting him, only to immediately be made a fool of. Still, whatever the man had planned, he must not have taken into account his size, weight, and personal tolerance. "I've been on benzos for years. Prescribed." He told him, trying to emphasize the mistake he'd made. "What sort of stunt are you trying to pull here?"

[purposefully-lost]

Those were the same songs that Alex knew best. He'd listened to that first album on repeat for hours, knew it all the way through by heart. The first time he'd felt that Rabbit was singing to him, personally, and no one else, was the moment he'd realized he had to get rid of him. He couldn't keep going on with his life witn the weight of Rabbit's longing holding him down. He was getting fixated, stuck in place listening to the same songs over and over again, or getting distracted from his work because he wanted to search every inch of the band's social media for some sign of his friend.

He was barely listening to the answer Rabbit gave about his fans. Suddenly, looking at the other man made him feel sick. They'd had so much in common, back then-- the same anger boiling up under the surface-- and look at where they'd each ended up. Rabbit was successful and adored and had everything he'd ever wanted. He'd be appalled if he learned his old friend was the person sitting across from him.

Alex showed no sign of surprise at the question. He followed Rabbit's gaze down to the empty glass, his frown deepening. This whole night had turned out to be nothing but a disappointment. He had a feeling that he wasn't going to get the clean cut that he wanted, that Rabbit was going to haunt him, and the thought made him nauseous. The whole point of this was to be able to leave him behind.

"I didn't give you a full dose. The point wasn't to knock you out. We had an interview to do, first." Alex reached over and stopped the recording, then pushed himself up from the table, unconcerned. He moved back into the kitchen and looked it over, considering, then looked back at Rabbit. "...It's not really anything personal. I've been following you for years, Jack, and it's finally gotten to be too much of a distraction. I can't.."

He dropped his gaze for a moment. When he glanced back up, there was something hurt in his gaze. He'd been kicked before and he wasn't going to risk it again. "I just can't. Wish it was different, honest." Alex turned back to the kitchen and reached for the knife block on the counter. He pulled the biggest one from the set and decided then that he had to move quickly, even if he didn't really want to. Facing Rabbit, he lunged towards him.

[gruesomejack]

"What?" Rabbit laughed-- A low, but loud bark rumbling across the dining room table. The journalist didn't even have the decency to deny the situation, and he wasn't sure if that made it better or worse. Staring hard, he watched him move from his spot and shook his head. What was he trying to imply? None of it made any sense to him. "You're deranged, man." He said, still smiling despite it all. "I'm leaving."

Slow, he used the table to push himself up to his feet. Half of a dose was still enough to make the world sway around him. Whatever he'd used had been strong. Rabbit rubbed at his tired eyes, his jaw clenching. What a fucking freak. And the interview had been going so well-- He'd wanted to ask the guy out. Ridiculous.

Glancing up at the sound of padding feet, the glint of sharp silver caught his eye as it rushed towards him. Rabbit dropped to the floor and hissed as the blade scraped against the outside of his shoulder. "Fuck!" Like a ram, he pushed his upper back as hard as he could into Alex's shins until he toppled. With what momentum he had, Rabbit swung himself on top of him and shoved a heavy hand into his chest, grasping at the shirt he wore as he pushed him into the floor. "What's your goddamn problem?!" He growled, baring his teeth. "If you're gonna try and kill me, you don't get to talk in riddles."

The dark hair around his head curled and frizzed in a way that made him seem larger, like a grizzly with its hackles raised high. Rabbit slammed the man again before letting him go, only to then grip him by the neck. A wide thumb grazed along his pulse while his other fingers wrapped around him. Something shiny swam over blown pupils, leaving behind something sticky and distant in its wake. He squeezed-- Not hard enough to immediately snuff him out, but to egg on the struggle from the slow loss of air. This guy wasn't going to hurt him like that and get away unpunished. "You're gonna beg me to forgive you." He purred, his thick brows shading his eyes. "And then I'll decide if I want to."

[purposefully-lost]

Alex didn't have any specific strategy in mind-- he just knew that if Rabbit was going to stay down, he had to do some damage. The feeling of resistance when the knife met flesh was enough to clear his head, and he found himself snarling at the man as he was shoved backwards. His head cracked against the tile floor hard enough to send his vision swimming, and when the knife clattered to the ground, he didn't bother trying to feel for it. He knew better than to think that he could get away with trying that trick again.

Still, he struggled. Alex kicked out at the air behind Rabbit and reached up to claw at the hand around his throat, his heart thundering in his ears. His glasses had been knocked askew and when he looked up, the sight that met him made him dizzy. He couldn't see Rabbit's face clearly, but he could see his eyes. Deep and dark, a color that reminded him of-- not coffee, that would be too cliche. It reminded him of sunlight. The way it looked when it skated across the surface of a deep, murky pool in the forest, reflecting the rich browns and greens of the trees around it.

Alex's breath shook. Rabbit's eyes were on him, solely focused on his face and nothing else in the world. He could feel his lungs starting to scream for air and instead of continuing to claw, Alex pressed his hand over Rabbit's and tried to urge him to squeeze all the harder. There wasn't a world in which he would ever be able to overpower him at this point, slightly sedated or not, and something about the pressure on his windpipe and the airy feeling it put in his head felt.. good. Rabbit was a solid, heavy weight on top of him, and his hands were warm, and really, this wouldn't be such a bad way to go. Not even Dennis, who had seemed so obsessed with needing companionship, had been this intense when he'd struggled with Alex. He didn't care who was killing him, just that he had to get away. Rabbit cared.

Alex closed his eyes. Better here, with the first boy he'd ever really latched onto, than with anyone else.

[gruesomejack]

Alex's grey eyes were staring up at him and Rabbit swore he could see stars swirling around the centers. The whites were growing red under the pressure of his palm, straining with every second that passed without oxygen. He'd thought they were pretty before, and it pissed him off to see just how beautiful they really were up close.

The hand that settled atop his own was warm-- Rabbit moved to knock it away, only to find himself pausing. Alex wasn't digging at his knuckles or trying to pull himself free at all. He was simply letting everything happen. Rabbit studied the expression on his face and felt his own darken. Alex looked blissful. With his long lashes falling to rest on his blueing cheeks, it really did seem like he was enjoying himself here. What was his angle? Was this some sort of game to him? Still, Rabbit couldn't deny the hot itch that rolled up his back. If he wanted to be played with, there were easier ways to get there.

Slow, Rabbit moved his pressure from the man's windpipe to the side of his neck where his arteries sat. There, he could breath again, but still struggle with reduced blood flow to his head. When done right, it'd leave him in a dizzy, airy-feeling high that rippled from his neck straight down to his groin.

"...You like getting knocked around." Rabbit leaned in close, humming against his ear in a soft, baritone lull. His free hand slipped, careful, pressing with a hard, bruising grip atop his hip-bone. "Are you some sort of pervert?" He whispered, "You had me interested before and I can't say you've lost me."

Just to make sure the man didn't think he was letting up, Rabbit shoved hard against that hip into the tiled floor. "Is it that hard to ask?" Inky eyes moved across Alex's face, lingering on the wet sheen over his lips that were starting to regain their color. "If you'd been patient, you wouldn't have even had to. I liked you from the start." He breathed, "You have a funny way of flirting."

[purposefully-lost]

The pressure on his neck was letting up. Alex sucked in a shaky breath, and he could've sworn he could feel the cool air slipping into his lungs to relieve the burning ache that had started up. When he opened his eyes, the world above him was still hazy and tinged with darkness at the edges, but Rabbit was still hovering above him. He breathed in again to try and find his voice, but then Rabbit leaned in close, his breath hot against the side of Alex's cheek. He shuddered underneath him.

Alex had killed Cam because he'd put his hands on him. But with Rabbit's hand slipping down to his hip, he didn't feel that same revulsion now that he'd felt then. Rabbit's attention was still on him, completely. He was seeing him in a way that was real. Alex broke out in a breathless, slightly hysterical laugh that he only choked on when Rabbit shoved his hip hard against the floor.

"Really was planning to kill you," Alex told him, blinking up at him and trying to search his eyes. He shifted like he was trying to struggle against him, but it was half-hearted. He didn't see any point in fighting him, now. "You aren't the first. I've got this.. problem. I get too attached. And then I've gotta..." He could breathe again, but he still felt dizzy. Alex turned his head towards the hand on his neck, a soft hum leaving his lips. He'd heard Rabbit say he hadn't lost interest, but that had to be part of whatever game he was playing now. Even still, it was a sweet thought. They all lost interest. Sometimes, it was the moment Alex played his hand, sure. But sometimes- like with Cam- it'd been the moment they realized how deeply his attachment went. "Gotta get rid of 'em. Thing I'm attached to. Or it'll drive me fucking crazy."

[gruesomejack]

Alex shifted beneath him and pulled a warm, amused sort of noise from Rabbit's lips. It took him a moment to piece together what he'd meant, but between the drugs and adrenaline pumping through his blood, it didn't shake him. Flashing a curious smile, he swam through the clear grey pools beneath him. "You could kill me yet." He said and moved the hand off his hip to nudge apart his thighs. Smooth, slow, a denim clad knee was pressed against the seam of the journalist's pants.

"I guess I should feel flattered." He said, letting go of his neck only to bring that hand to his jaw. Rabbit held onto his chin while he looked him over. He could feel his heart beating in his ears; the room around him was starting to sway. Fuck. Fuck! He'd only just started to get the man squirming, he couldn't just pass out. His arm felt sticky from the oozing cut on his shoulder-- It hurt, but it didn't feel like anything he had to truly worry about. "Don't you wanna give me a chance?" He said, drawing his thumb along his bottom lip. "You might like the way I drive you crazy."

Without wasting any more time, he ducked and stole away into the perfect, pink little mouth he'd been admiring since the moment he walked in. Alex might've been a lunatic, but something about it was deeply enthralling. He tasted sweet against his tongue-- Good enough to make him purr, the ball of his piercing brushing carefully along the roof of his mouth. Rabbit's knee shifted, pushing further against him, egged on by the burning heat he felt there. He broke only to bite hard at his lip, taking out his frustration with him in a sharp nip. He hoped it bruised. He hoped for the next two weeks Alex would look in the mirror and have to stare at where he'd been. Lapping at the taste of metal that touched his lips, he punctuated the wound with another kiss.

His hands drifted, one to his collar, the other down his stomach and tracing above the button on his fly. "You could still kill me." He repeated in a heavy, slurred breath. Rabbit tried to blink it away-- Once, then twice. Brows pinched, he shook his head and cursed. Slow, he pressed his forehead against Alex's jaw. "Fuck you." He whispered before his body went slack.

[purposefully-lost]

It felt like he was dreaming as Rabbit's hand drifted between his thighs. If Alex were more lucid, that was the kind of act that he would've finally killed him for, but right now, with his head spinning and his breath catching in his throat, his legs parted easily for him. The pressure where Rabbit's knee eased against him was welcome and deeply, desperately wanted. He didn't know how badly until he was shifting to try and rut against it, a low sound pulling from the back of his throat.

No one had ever even gotten this far with him, really. He always cut it off at the first read show of interest, knowing it could only go downhill from here. But Rabbit had him well and truly pinned to the floor, and all he could do was let it happen. It still wasn't such a bad way to go. If he could choose how he died, it'd be here-- it'd be the kind of death Rabbit was teasing him about, with his breath so hot and heavy against Alex's skin.

When Rabbit kissed him, he whined, any and all lucid thought slipping right out of his head. He tasted sweet and warm and all of Alex's insides seemed to burn with how badly he suddenly needed to be closer to him. The teasing from Rabbit's knee wasn't enough-- that sweet, hot craving building between his thighs wouldn't be satisfied with anything else than Rabbit as close against him as he could possibly be. Pain burst at the corner of his lip where Rabbit's teeth dug into his skin and he moaned into it, warm and desperate. He'd never felt anything quite that sweet.

He finally remembered that his hands were free, and he hooked his arms around Rabbit to try and drag him closer, keep him down with him against the tile, but their momentum was starting to slow down. Panting, Alex tried to squirm back to get a good look at him, but then Rabbit was slumping down against him. It took him a long moment of laying there and staring up at the ceiling, breathing heavily, for his head to begin to clear. Rabbit had turned into a dead weight. The drug had finally done it's job.

"Fuck!" Alex wasn't gentle in the way he wrestled with Rabbit's body to shove him to the side. He immediately scrambled back and glanced around himself, searching for the metallic glint of the knife he'd dropped, and then snatched it up off the ground as if he was still in the thick of a fight. He pushed himself up onto his knees over Rabbit's body and raised it high above him, blade pointed right at his heart.

It should've been easy. Taking a life was the simplest thing in the world, Alex had found. Conversation, relationships, people-- those were difficult, but snuffing out the light in someone's eyes took nothing more than a quick blow to the right part of their body. But staring down at Rabbit's back, watching it rise and fall with the slow breathing of a drugged sleep, he couldn't do it.

"Fuck!" He swore again, throwing the knife back down against the tile with a clatter. "Fuck you! You can't just--" Alex choked on a frustrated noise. His own body still felt hot with the attention Rabbit had been giving him. His blood was still pumping, and the longer he stared down at the man below him and tried to catch his breath, the more he sort of wanted to climb onto his thigh and finish what he'd started, at least. He didn't have the time for that. "Asshole," he spat at him, then pushed himself to his feet.

He didn't bother getting rid of the evidence. Almost everything was left as it had been by the time Rabbit fell unconscious; the knife waiting on the ground, Alex's own half-finished glass, the small spatter of blood that had come from Rabbit's wound. Alex snatched up his notebook and recorder and packed up his things in hurry, leaving a little less than a half hour after their altercation had finished. The only thing he left behind was the key to the Airbnb left sitting right next to Rabbit's head, and a wad of towels half-heartedly stuffed under his sleeve to staunch the blood from his wound. He left a note on top of the key: Drop in lockbox out front.

Getting into his car, it wasn't his first thought that he could head back home and finish something else that Rabbit had started, but it didn't take long to occur to him. He was headed back east by the end of the week.

[gruesomejack]

His back hurt. Why did his back hurt?

Rabbit rolled himself over and winced at the bright light coming down from the ceiling. Was he on the floor? His head was swimming and-

"Oh, fuck." Hot pain surged down his shoulder, throbbing. Reaching over to touch it, he blinked at the towel shoved underneath his sleeve. Pulling it out, he blinked again at the sight of blood. A beat passed and slow realization followed, the memories of the interview and the fight filling in the gaps in his memory. The whole thing had been a set up-- Alex had been stalking him and used the pretense of an intimate interview to try and kill him. And yet, here he was still, foggy and sore on the floor of an Airbnb.

Why hadn't he finished the job?

------

Hot shower water stung the slice on his shoulder. Rabbit groaned softly and glanced at the red, puffy skin. It wasn't the first time he'd been faced with violence because of his art, but that had all been protesters and angry church goers. This had been different-- Alex had been passionate. Obsessed. There'd been no disgust about it; Alex had become so deeply attached to the idea of him that he needed a way to cut the cord holding them together.

He'd meant it when he said he'd been flattered. He didn't know what that implied about himself, but he didn't want to dwell on it for any longer than he needed to.

Frowning, he scrubbed shampoo through his hair, washing away the sweat and staleness of sleeping on the floor of that Airbnb.

It'd been kind of exciting. For everything that Alex had done to him, he was still left thinking about the way his mouth tasted and the warmth of his body beneath his. It was a shame he passed out before they could've really gotten into it; he wasn't sure he'd ever felt such physical chemistry with another person.

Tongueing the inside of his cheek, Rabbit's eyes fell to the spot between his thighs where he was feeling that fondness for Alex the strongest. He knew better than to indulge in it, but he thought he'd earned a moment of pleasure for everything he'd gone through.

------

He felt like he was going crazy. Every moment of free time he had was spent thinking about that journalist and the way he'd looked at him. Rabbit thought he'd seen every kind of look before-- Ten years of meeting fans and performing every venue he could had him meeting all kinds of people and making all sorts of conversation. And yet...

Nobody ever looked at him the way Alex had.

It made his skin itch just thinking about it. Like his body was desperate for someone to reach out and touch him. -- Not just anyone. Alex specifically. He wanted to see and feel what those crazed hands would do given the chance to touch him however and wherever he pleased. Would he hurt him? As strange as it sounded, he didn't quite mind the idea.

Reaching for his shoulder, Rabbit pressed against the scab there and closed his eyes. Pain bloomed beneath his fingers and in it, he found relief.

He had more writing to do.

------

Rabbit glanced up at the TV from his seat at the bar, watching the local pop-culture segment transition in from the afternoon news.

"-with Killer Instinct only releasing a little over a month ago, Jonathan Stone surprises fans with a solo EP titled: Heartless. Tying into the themes of the bands' recent album, Heartless embodies some deeply tenebrous feelings of intimate, sexual obsession and violence. A music video dropped alongside the EP depicting Stone as a foreboding, shadowy figure stalking a young man through-"

Eyes falling, he met the gaze of the tender standing behind the bar. Flashing a small smile at the wary glance he'd recieved, he shrugged. "I don't expect everyone to get it."

[gruesomejack]

Rabbit Heartless EP photoshoot where he's covered in blood and other fluids,,,

Rabbit Heartless music video where he's stalking a man with long blonde hair that you never get to see the face of and ends with Rabbit killing him

[gruesomejack]

you're trapped in purgatory and your only way out is a big freaky bunny man

[purposefully-lost]

[gruesomejack]