𝕰𝖈𝖑𝖎𝖕𝖘𝖊

Marta, 20, she/her, Twilight Sideblog "𝒊 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒎𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓 𝑰'𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒆 𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕."

[daydreamluvr]

the holy trinity and the fourth wheel

don't question me, i'm right

[sadlibragirll]

[howulikindaraingirl]

“y’know how quileutes are supposedly descended from wolves?”

“wolves, like real wolves?”

“i just examined the body”

“he died?

“even if i am damned, regardless”

“damned... like... like, hell?”

“harry clearwater had a heart attack”

“is he ok”

bella with some great questions

[the-most-pathetic-edge-marquis]

but can you imagine how much spookier it would be if the cullens don’t all pose as one family?

alice runs a chic little consignment/thrift store. rose and emmett have a mechanic’s shop. carlisle and edward and esme DO pose as a family because it works and edward is the only one who looks young enough to need to be in high school anyway. everywhere bella goes she’s running into these people who are just slightly off and they don’t seem to be connected…

[boethiah]

[secretlysweetmonsters]

Vampires be like

[the-golden-onion]

vs edward: my house is ¼ windows and i’m waiting til marriage (and beyond)

[ultward]

one of my favorite parts of breaking dawn is when jacob loses it after bella tells him she and edward are gonna fuck while she’s still human because jacob is basically screaming “NO!! HE’S GOING TO DICK YOU TO DEATH!!! THAT’S FUCKED UP!!! BELLA HIS PENIS IS TOO STRONG IT’S GOING TO KILL YOU!!! ARE YOU REALLY WILLING TO DIE FOR SOME FUCKING DICK???? OH MY GOD”

[twilight-af-deactivated20220701]

Bella Swan discovered the existence of vampires and then went to school the following Monday like it was nbd

[emmettrosalie]

I really hate her asgsjahsak lmao at the end of new moon after just seeing this hidden castle (!) underneath a whole ass city (!!!) where vampire royalty (!!!!!) plus their vampire ARMY (!!!) eat like 100+ innocent tourists (!!!!!!!!!!) she’s just like, “and I missed my calculus test so might be going to community college lol :/” girl what!

[dumbellaswan-deactivated2022012]

twilight is the ex gf that i drunk dial at 2 in the morning

[edytheelizabethcullen]

Why didn’t the Cullens just stay on Isle Esme? Hardly any people for Jasper to eat, Carlisle could take a boat to wherever needed help in the area, Esme could build everyone their own little place that all connects together, Emmett could make all the noise he wanted, it would be a warm beach.

Like no offense to the Cullens but they’re stupid.

[celebrityskinmp3]

yeah the us has a 2 party system its called team edward vs team jacob

[jasperwhitcock]

i’m eating eggs for breakfast and i had to stop to say what an absolute fucking idiot edward is. like just a complete moron. he’s feeding his small human wife five dozen eggs like a disney character on their honeymoon & it never occurs to him that maybe something is up?? and if bella is menstruating regularly he’s been around to track maybe 12 periods but this fucking knucklehead who analyzes every little thing she does from the number of her heartbeats to her farts doesn’t notice she missed her period?? and the two of them put their brains together and explained her symptoms like oh it must be the island??? 100 years of education and what does he have to show for it

[jasperwhitcock]

and later the explanation for why edward didn’t consider bella getting pregnant was because it was “impossible” .... ain’t this the same man who was worrying a meteor would hit the earth and kill her????

[jasperwhitcock]

being vaccinated does NOT mean you can play baseball in a large empty field with a bunch of vampires during a thunderstorm just because it’s the american past time

[rose-lily-hale]

[loveallthegays]

Booboo Stewart by Orion Bustamante

[mitoposting]

New Moon, "Volturi" (2009) | High School Musical, "Status Quo" (2006)

[bisexualemmettcullen]

carlisle truly joined the volturi for the sheer DRAMA of it all. they were simply a convenient excuse for him to dress like That Bitch. lets be real.

[bisexualemmettcullen]

This is the face of a man who knows his own sex appeal

[twilightofficial]

The Cullen's but they have MTV NEXT bios

Bonuses:

[unseenarts]

Do you have problem doing grocery shopping? Fear not my friend, I come to the rescue with the second part of a "handy little instructions" series. Enjoy!

Planning a trip to IKEA soon? Find out how to survive