MONSOON .

this blog is a work in progress give me like 3 business days

[guardaeon-blog]

@nilimbsty @fxr-yxur-amusement @oriinfidget @ohchaoswhy @preygeteatenbypredssfw @shadowxcream5 @ask-della-duck @thegovjobsinfo @oursecondmoon @letslightumup @lxght-of-hxpe @rhink-love2 @gottagcfxst @sliverwaves @postgenesisevilgeniuses @livingweapon @coffee-cupper @carnouflaged @willowacethief @darkhoodieperson3 @ashadowbyanyothername @dragoniisms @musnatchii @whiiisperingwolf @blacklight-diamond @classicpals @silver-ash-hedgehog @the-dark-master @alexasharonrice @gadget-red @nackshot @busterregalia @sonicworldwide @boykingelias @bndicot @thedemonickingandothers @gabrielpainterfest @chaosbcund @pyrrfinite @sajjadrazaq786 @leechblades @chopperpirate @sonic5567 @tarotguided @therosewrappedenigma @aaron-moonlight @sky-buddies @hardboiledking @newvcntures @nobodycantearyou 

Ray-Ban Sunglasses

[guardaeon-blog]

" no i'm not crying you're crying. " they say holding a rex lapis bobblehead , evidently emotions are running high.

Xiao is on the brink of tears the moment his doppelganger reveals their Rex Lapis memorabilia to him. He extends unfurls a fist. Atop his palm sits a smaller bobblehead (it compensates for its size by being able to glow in the dark).

“How about we ... both cry together?” The adeptus suggests. One of his eye twitches as if to agree with him. “Maybe then, our shared grief can cancel each other out ... I believe ‘PEMDAS’ is what our human counterparts call it?”

@threades​ .

[rothelp]

miscellaneous angst starters.

when were you going to tell me?

you can’t keep doing this to yourself.

that’s…a lot of blood.

can you walk?

please don’t lie to me.

you were supposed to leave.

i’m not going anywhere without you.

shh, it’s okay. it was just a dream.

there was nothing more you could have done.

it wasn’t your fault.

this is all my fault.

you aren’t acting like yourself.

i’m never going to let [her/him/them] hurt you again.

you’re hurting me.

don’t ever do that again.

go to hell.

please don’t cry.

you have to stay awake.

i wish i could take the pain away.

you could have died.

hey – stay with me.

it’ll be over soon.

did you ever love me?

i’m sorry. i can’t do this anymore.

things won’t always hurt this bad.

you passed out.

how much have you had?

i’m okay. it’s all fine.

it’s not okay! you’re not fine!

let me get you something for the pain.

it’s nothing. it’s just a bruise.

it’s clearly not nothing.

have you been to the doctor?

i didn’t mean the things i said.

i thought we meant something.

people who are okay don’t act like this.

you don’t have to go through this by yourself.

i don’t want you to be alone.

please don’t regret me.

i heard you crying.

you need to get some rest.

when was the last time you ate something?

i’m worried about you.

did you have another nightmare?

[name], there’s nobody there.

i want to be happy but i don’t think i deserve it.

please talk to me.

why are you mad at me?

alcohol isn’t going to solve your problems.

don’t leave me.

did you do this to yourself?

it’s breaking my heart to see you like this.

tell me what’s wrong.

tell me how to make it better.

why don’t you care?

get the hell away from me.

please don’t do this.

i can’t believe that you lied to me.

just…stay for the night.

you obviously can’t be trusted to take care of yourself, so let me do it for you.

you can’t die. i won’t let you.

just hang on, okay?

hold my hand if you need to.

i’m sorry.

why do you have a gun?

don’t panic.

just breathe.

you’re bleeding.

i’m trying to stop the bleeding.

you’ve been crying, i can tell.

you should have told me sooner.

i wanted to tell you in person.

a phone call would’ve been nice.

i hate you.

i love you.

[maleficare-deactivated20250424]

[guardaeon-blog]

🧿 chara. study #5 — xiao & humanity (part 2 / ?) .

The majority of people who meet Xiao aren’t too friendly to him. Of course, this is totally valid of them since he’s ridiculously standoffish. If he doesn’t tell someone to leave him be, then he’ll answer them using 1-2 word utterances. It’s easy for people to be turned off by the first few exchanges, so ... conversations with him typically don’t last for longer than a minute.

However, in the rare cases that somebody with earnest intentions approaches him, as opposed to bugging him for “blessings” or bugging him just to bug him, Xiao will be more ... lenient with them. He’s still not going to be too forthcoming or exciting to talk to at first, but he won’t be as “polite, but in a cold/impersonal way” around them. As this person’s familiarity with him grows, he’ll even take a liking to them and genuinely enjoy their company.

If they’re a human or, at least, in touch with the mortal world, he’ll likely ask them the most random questions once in a while. Despite being thousands of years old, his knowledge of human-specific objects, sayings, and ideas is extremely limited. They’d be seeing a new side to him—one that is curious and easily amused, even childlike. It’s a side of him that is pure and simplistic, to the point where it may be hard to believe he'd been involved in such atrocious acts before.

But again, this is a rare case. Hardly anyone, if anyone at all, will ever get to know Xiao on this level. Because this is Tumblr RP, of course this going to be explored more easily for the sake of IC interactions. In general, though, most people, in good conscience, wouldn’t purposely go through all the trouble to accommodate someone as reclusive as him to that extent (understandably so, but you know).

So, as a recap, I’m basically giving Xiao the “severely less cheerful” Starfire treatment. If you ever saw the original Teen Titans cartoon, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

[guardaeon-blog]

🧿 chara. study #4 — xiao & humanity (part 1 / ?) .

The TL;DR version of this post is that Xiao is “misanthropic”, but not because he genuinely hates and is genuinely distrustful of humans. His “misanthropy” stems from cultural values, as well as coping with survivor’s guilt and cognitive dissonance (i.e. “I have to give my conscience a justification for why I killed innocent people, otherwise I truly am a piece of shit...so I’ll just say it’s because they suck and I hate them).

It’s no secret that Xiao doesn’t have an impressionable view of human beings. In several of his own voicelines, as well as within canon dialogue, he’s shown to distance himself from humanity. 

Sometimes, this manifests as him referring to human beings as inferior, whether that be in terms of strength, power, or judgement. 

Other times, he distances himself simply by asserting that he is “nothing like humans” and “doesn’t understand them at all”. 

Then lastly, and I think the most common way he opts to keep his distance is by barely saying anything, or even not saying anything at all. This is where my personal interpretation of Xiao follows more closely with his Chinese / Japanese portrayals and my own experiences as someone who is part Chinese, as opposed to his English portrayal. 

In summation, I don’t portray Xiao as somebody who is purposely flippant and dismissive, nor as somebody who’s constantly overwhelmed with his own emotions. He will, of course, have moments when he snaps, but that’s unfortunately normal with people dealing with severe trauma.

Hehe, if you’ve made it this far, the second TL;DR I offer you is that I perceive Xiao as somebody who actually isn’t very in touch with his feelings. He doesn’t brood too often. He doesn’t get angry too often. He represses anything mildly akin to those emotions. Part of this is due to his cultural upbringing, and another part of it is a consequence of having served an evil deity for years and years.

孝順 or xiào​ shùn is a Chinese word that, for lack of an English equivalent, refers to someone who is dutiful and obedient—essentially a model individual by traditionalists’ standards. It is most commonly associated with Confucianism’s perspective on the five different relationships. People who are xiào​ shùn also tend to be detached—not very vocal or overtly emotional in either the positive or negative sense. There’s a certain stoicism they feel obligated to maintain, not because they intend to be rude, but rather because it’s their means of “honoring” the boundaries between them and any interactions they have with the external world. With that being said, because of this detachment between the individual and external stimuli, whatever emotions they do feel are usually derived from whoever/whatever they are “serving” instead of themselves. Therefore, it’s not in this individual’s place to “want” much or to see themselves as much.

Xiao is old as fuck, and alongside that, he’s also very past-oriented, averse to change, and well...traditional, in almost every sense of the word. Even as ideas like this become lost in time, he continues to keep them close to his heart. It’s, again, a cultural ideal he refuses to amend as life goes on, and it’s only further reinforced by his conservative surroundings, his contract to Morax, and his perception of himself as a tool.

But how else does this apply to him and his aloofness toward human beings? Repression, but from a different angle. Mihoyo revealed to us that Xiao is the last of the five Guardian Yakshas still in commission—the other four either perished or succumbed to the very darkness they were fighting against. Being the only one alive and “well” after thousands of years of bloodshed was impossible for Xiao to comprehend, especially considering how powerful his allies were. And then, even before that, when Xiao was serving that other deity, he had slain thousands and thousands...only at that time, they weren’t archons or other beings that championed evil—they were human beings who most likely had no involvement in what his “master” was orchestrating. The accumulation of this guilt, especially over a millennium’s worth, was too much to bear. I think that Xiao is afraid that, if he genuinely acknowledges the existence of the feelings he’s repressing or opens himself up to the very species he once killed so many of, he’ll snap, as well. And if he snaps, he forfeits his contract to Morax. He puts everybody in danger. He’s the one with the blood on his hands once more.

Thus, presenting himself as an apathetic “object”—or xiào​ shùn, but bass boosted—became his ride or die solution. If he doesn’t allow himself to feel, he won’t have to think too much on his fallen allies. If he gives humans the impression that he can’t stand them, whether it be intentionally or unintentionally, he won’t have to think too much on how many of their lives he took for no justifiable cause.

[eidxlon-deactivated20210324]

                                Feet firm on the ground                                 We stood hand in hand                          The world seemed to tell me                  That I have a plan. Together we sang                                          I’m ready now

   Xiao ( @eidxlon​) And Venti ( @melodicbreeze​ ) Of Genshin Impact

[guardaeon-blog]

ALBEDO .

There’s always traditionalists like Xiao; Albedo stares even-keeled at he who is not human / not like the others, anyways, despite the flesh he stretches over his body. Ironically he’d thought maybe he would find something of a kindred spirit in the adepti…but perhaps not this one–too tied to their pasts and the land to be of much ‘resemblance’ to Albedo after all.

He pauses as if to pick his words carefully, ultimately deciding tempting the other’s rage isn’t as much of a concern as a normal human might consider it to be, and begins to speak. “I don’t hope for much by challenging fate,” a lie, “just call it a…scientific curiosity, I suppose. What happens if I say no to something silly like predestination?” How much will it hurt? 

“It’s interesting. What do you hope to gain by following these threads? I’ve heard there aren’t any yakshas left. Seems to me like you’re playing right into a bitter end.” Albedo blinks lazily, then shrugs. 

Albedo’s latter (and dare he add, unnecessary) remark elicits a light scowl from the Yaksha, though he is quick to compose himself. Allowing any ire to shine through would be offering him the upper hand on a silver platter, after all.

“Do you even comprehend the weight of the questions you ask of me?” Xiao punctuates his inquiry with a light scoff. “Allow me to remind you that we are discussing that which transcends this world’s concepts. The divine does not operate by way of sound logic and reasoning.” He leans against the railing of the balcony with his arms crossed. “Whatever the future wishes to offer us cannot be predicted, let alone altered, by experimentation. In other words, you’re ultimately wasting your time if you allow your ‘scientific curiosity’ to guide you. The outcome will always be the same.”

[guardaeon-blog]

GANYU .

“Xiao --” She had been so immersed in thought that his presence was unknown until he spoke out to her.

Funny, since  Ganyu  very well knew he frequented this place.   — Maybe it was a subconscious choice in hopes of bumping into her friend. —   Despite appearances he was quite a good listener and gave out sound advice.

“It’s —  nothing serious….”  she smiled, yet it didn’t reach her eyes.   “I’ve just… felt a bit restless  um, more so than usual.   –What are you doing up so late?  –Here to stargaze?”

Xiao opts to hold his tongue for a moment. He instead watches the half-adeptus’ every action—the forlorn upturn of her lips, how she seemed to shy away upon registering his presence. Although comforting others had never been his strong suit, he had to make some sort of effort. She’s something of a kindred spirit ... and for him to recognize that without acting on it would be out of principle.

“Do not think you can change the subject so easily,” he warns. Willing himself a step forward, Xiao allows his arms to hang slack at his sides, as opposed to folded over his chest—his default. “I may not understand emotions as well as I should, but I do have eyes, thus the ability to observe.” 

He proceeds yet another step forward. “My observations tell me that you are purposely undermining whatever it is that’s ailing you.” A pause. “That must end right now.” Another pause ... and then, a sigh. The Yaksha combs his fingers through meandering strands of hair. “Ganyu, I doubt you would have come to this place in good conscience. You came here seeking ... refuge.”

[ashendemon]

[guardaeon-blog]

🧿 chara. study #3 — xiao & children / xiao & his sense of duty (part 2) .

While Xiao may not be anywhere close to the most charismatic person to exist, this isn’t to say that he doesn’t have his moments. He's relatively good with children and, along with that, is fond of them himself.

One of the most prominent examples of this in canon is his role in the Dusky Ming quest. To summarize (or rather, to summarize from what I remember), this quest centers around rumors of a “ghost girl” scaring the guests and employees at Wangshu Inn. Toward the end of the quest, Xiao reveals that it was he who’d invited her to stay at the inn after having encountered her spirit one day. He explains to the Traveler that she is one of many souls who remains bound to the mortal world and is unable to move on for unknown/ambiguous reasons. Perhaps this in and of itself isn’t much to go on, but with how taciturn Xiao is, of course we shouldn’t expect him to disclose more than just the threadbare facts of his involvement.

I’d like to think that he kept her company for some time and that the reason she went off on her own was simply because she's a child. Children—let alone child sprits—don’t like to stay in one place, and with Xiao being a creature of habit, she got bored. And who would he be to stop her? He may be socially complacent, but he’s not irresponsible. If her presence was truly problematic (or was in certain danger herself), Xiao would’ve done / would do something himself. 

In Xiao’s eyes, Dusky Ming, along with other children—mortal or otherwise—are pure. Their souls are “untainted” by the horrors he’s gotten acquainted with in his thousands of years of life. He’s seen darkness, duh, but in different flavors: the darkness in mortal souls, the darkness of the divine, the darkness that is shared between them both. Children have yet to grasp the duality of life in its simplest terms, let alone in that spiritual sense. I see him as not wanting them to follow in that same terrible path he’s seen human and otherworldly being alike succumb to. And even if Dusky Ming is already “passed”, she isn’t completely safe from being “tainted” by these dark influences so as long as she’s in the mortal world, or even tiptoeing the line separating that world and the afterlife.

As a Guardian Yaksha, Xiao’s contract to Rex Lapis mandates that he defeat any lingering “darkness” from the archon war. This aspect of guardianship is more oriented toward the “offensive” — fighting, conquering, emerging victorious. However, being a Guardian also requires a “defensiveness”, especially since Xiao’s other primary responsibility is protecting Liyue (and its people) from other dangers, including providing lost souls with refuge or the means to seek one out. This aspect is a lot more foreign to Xiao since hIs HaNdS aRe StAiNeD and he views himself as a “tool” over anything, but this isn’t to say he has completely given up on trying—not when he remains devoted to his duties.

[guardaeon-blog]

“Admittedly, I did not attend your rehearsal of my own volition —” Xiao makes an effort to address the musician imperatively amidst the excited (enraging) chatter of fans and the intimidated (insecure) glances being cast his way ... consider this Exhibit A of the gallery that details his grievances against taking risks.

Courtesy be damned, he follows her down a flight of stairs and then, behind a set of red billowing curtains. “ — I am here at the behest of the Yuheng, who seems to be quite fond of you. She wanted me to apologize to you on her behalf for being unable to support you tonight.”

@zhuqued​ .

[guardaeon-blog]

XIANGLING .

“ i get how you might think that, ” she replies, “ but it’s kinda like a hot-honey effect. see, it’s not actually honey, because you need bees to make honey, but the pollen and stamens of most elemental flowers are sweet too !! so when i add them, it’s sweet without being overwhelming because of the balance of the heat, plus it has a little bit of a floral aftertaste too, and that’ll really complement the dendro slime-condesate i added in — ” xiangling cuts herself off. xiao probably doesn’t want to hear all that. “ basically, it’s hot and sweet, which gives everything that extra oomf and makes it just perfect !! ” because of course it’s ‘good’ already, just not up to her standards. 

she frowns at her pot. “ it’s not ready yet, but …  you can take a taste if you want, and see what i mean !! ”

Xiao dips his head in a nod, if you could even call it that with how imperceptible the gesture had been. “I see.” That much is true, though moreover in the literal sense of the word—he sees, but he doesn’t quite understand. What exactly is the point of precision in cooking? Precision is a must within other areas of life—such as combat; in choosing who to skewer with your spear and who to spare—but cooking, of all things? If not for cultural celebration, its only other purpose was practical: to provide human beings with a basic survival need. Garnishing what already appeared to be a perfectly edible dish hardly seemed worth the extra effort.

Nevertheless, he bites his tongue, not wanting to discourage the other. She’s but a child.

“You are ... offering to feed me?” Aside from the slight crease in his brow, the adeptus’ features remain stoic as ever. “Alright, so be it.” He uncrosses his arms and reaches for one of the clean ladles Xiangling had set aside earlier ...

... A scoop and a sip later, he’s humming—practically purring like a cat. “That was ... different—though ... not at all in a bad way.”

[guardaeon-blog]

“Ganyu —” Although his voice is stern as ever, his gaze softens a hairsbreadth upon seizing hers. “ — What is it that has summoned you here ... and so late into the night, at that?” 

The adeptus can sense that something is amiss with her, even as the inn’s cascading stairwell holds them more than an arm’s length from one another. He swings one leg, and then both legs over the balcony’s railing and swiftly glides over to where she had been waiting.

“Did something happen?”

@cocagoat​ .

[guardaeon-blog]

( REFLECTION ) .

‘ i haven’t the time for this either . ’ xiao stares his shorter self down . ‘ so the sooner you shut up and listen, the sooner we can be free of each other  .’ he raises a brow as he further examines the doppelganger . the glaringly obvious height difference aside, there isn’t too much that’s changed…then again, he’s looking at his self from over 600 years ago .

‘ currently you are asleep . i can only assume you have been refusing yourself that luxury for some time already . ’ he notices his younger self step back and so he steps forward . ‘ right now, you are experiencing rem sleep . this is your dream . one of your more peaceful ones. ‘ the adeptus pauses . he regards his doppelganger solemnly . ‘ but i myself am not a mere dream . i am your future self. what i’m about to tell you is important so heed my words carefully . ’

Sinking his teeth firmly into his bottom lip, Xiao but spares his counterpart a reluctant nod. There’s this quiet urge simmering within him to bite back — to fight as he always did anytime he was regarded piteously. 

But seeing as he’s talking to, well, himself ... it’s almost certain that he’d be met with retaliation. That would get them nothing, except for maybe a migraine split two ways.

The adeptus draws his lips agape and allows himself the fullest breath he’s taken in ... archons know how long. As he exhales, he wrings his hands together. The coarse fabric of his gloves does little to soothe the ominous feeling in his gut. 

“Very well, then,” marks the start of his concession. “Truth be told, it’d been my intention to ask you how this arrangement is even possible to begin with, but ...” Xiao scratches his head, then coaxes the back of his neck. “ ... I doubt that I'd be satisfied with any answer you offer me ... but at any rate, the floor is all yours.” A pause. He narrows his eyes — likely for one second too long. “Better make this good.”

[guardaeon-blog]

Xiao you could hit it.

“‘Hit it’?” It’s a simple enough statement, he concedes ... and yet, something about it sounds — tastes — foreign on his tongue. 

Xiao chances an eyebrow at the source. Then, with both arms folded over his chest and in far too weighty of a tone, he asks ...

“Hit what?”

xoxo, anonymous .

[brotato-chibs]

I want xiangling to have a friend… 🥺👉👈