Grumblies
Do other people have these? The stomach grumblies?
Iâve had them for my whole life.Â
I think theyâre genetic. I know my father had the grumblies, guaranteed they came from him. He would have the grumblies after dinner while we were sitting watching a movie. And they would be so charming.Â
I find I only have the grumblies when I am forced to be in the most awkward quiet situations of my life, like when Iâm at the theater, or an interview, or in the bedroom.Â
I know they are caused by food, but truly, they feel like a karmic thing. Your stomach will grumble when you least need it too, because that is when the grumblies is the happiest.Â
You know those little green mucusy creatures in that commercial for mucinex - I imagine my grumblies similarly - they are green and blue and purple round blobs all smiling and raising their skinny arms and shrugging their non existent shoulders in the  âwho meâ position.Â
YES YOU - YOU GRUMBLY - YOU ARE DOING THIS TO ME - AND I AM TRYING TO PRETEND I AM A CUTE, RESPONSIBLE PERSON, WHO HAS CONTROL AND DECORUM.Â













