greetings human scum before i serve you this platter of shitpost i would like to introduce myself—I am Endometra The Anguished and your torment is my glee. You will enjoy my presence whether you like it or not.
🐮Udder Hatred For Everything
- wants to live in a little secluded cottage in the woods
- can probably talk to woodland creatures and recruit them to destroy humanity
- secretly craves love and attention
- absolutely and unfairly oppressed by the court
- also could've been babie but NO everyone had to crack him out
- only slymie saw what he could've been
- backwards facing fangs in her vagina
- adorably optimistic and doesn't fit in but they let her stay bc she's probably a "TOP 10 CHARACTERS THAT COULD KILL THANOS"
- insists that they’re all “best friends” despite everyone else’s protests to the contrary
- only thing in the entire multiverse that slymenstra feels even a symblance of love for
- wants to make slow, meaningful passionate love and serenade slymie and believe it or not she “tolerates” it
- tries to cure his depression with masturbation
- in love with a dead raccoon
- loves cats but doesn’t want anyone to know
- that one kid that never grew out of his dinosaur obsession
- smells like dead flowers
- steals cro-magnon artifacts from the smithsonian but only on tuesdays
- has a severe god complex
- inhales everything in his immediate vicinity like kirby or some shit
- believes we should bring back gladiator battles for population control
🐶Canid Semen (do we know anything at all about him? up for debate.)
- oh yeah his name is brad
- cooks with bälsäc a lot
- literally unable to stop thinking about how he would fuck every person around him
- Extra™️ as motherfucking shit
- going through a Rebellious Phase™️
- annoying little brother
- somehow both fits in with everyone else and is also A Good Boy™️
- probably laughs like, really fucking loudly
- he didn’t even fucking need their shit to recreate the tablet he just wanted to fulfill all his sexual fantasies
- RIP (but this time louder for the people in the back)
- reminds me just a little too much of that time gary (spongebob) turned into a wizard or some shit
- the only character out of everyone that’s even slightly careful/prudent about anything
- really really smart but doesn’t show it
🐢Femur Breaker (he's gonna kill me for giving him the turtle emoji)
- has killed and will kill again
- legally not allowed to say fuck
💰Martin's Sandwich Potato Bread
- living embodiment of "lets get this bread"
- goes through 5 cans of aquanet each morning
- extra gum WISHES it was him
- looks like a cigar/tobacco connoisseur but he just buys the most expensive ones he can find
- BITCH ASS THINKS HES SOMETHIN SPECIAL
- THIS MAN killed my father
🧪Cranial Think Tank Countenance
- built like a green bean
- genetically predisposed to addiction
- was kinda chill and sweet and then she fuckin snapped
- walter white WISHES he could
- literally cannot help being a hoe
- really smart but massively underrated in their position at the lab
- made of regret and failed poledancer dreams
- they died as they lived—getting fucked in the skull
- thinks he's God or some shit
- micromanager of the universe
- weirdly obsessed with babies
- SELFISH ASS WANTS THE UNIVERSE ALL TO HIMSELF
- probably related to the grandma in flowers in the attic
- married to the 2nd amendment
- thinks the entire US budget should go towards military
- guys i seriously dont know shit about him
- OTHER THAN THAT HES A FUCKING ASSHOLE
- i will face the master and walk backwards into hell
aight fuckers my memory isnt the best so if i missed anyone let me know
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