Assassin’s Creed Drunk Headcanons
Shay
* Shay has a pretty great alcohol tolerance but it does come at a heavy cost from his youth, getting drunk often when he was lost in life with no direction or purpose. He doesn’t drink as heavily as those days, but will drink more than his usual with his crew and fellow Templars if encouraged, usually during celebrations or victories.
* Shay is a rowdy but fun drunk, getting very physical though it usually starts with playful punches to the shoulder or pulling someone close to share a drink, laugh at an old story, or singing should the mood strike. It’s only when someone pushes him the wrong way or says the wrong thing that he’s ready to throw a punch.
* Shay’s a great drinking buddy, willing to buy you a pint for a job well done but can be a hassle when he does start a brawl and needs to be pulled away or else you’re fighting with him. He’ll apologize/thank you afterwards with the next round on or a gift if you rather not want a repeat of last time.
* When you’re drunk, Shay will keep an eye on you as you talk to others and dance with the music, even joining you if he’s in the mood. But if someone starts to hassle you, either from refusing their attention or settling a score, Shay would step in and tell them to leave you be or he’ll make them by force.
* Hangovers aren’t usually the problem for Shay after drinking, its getting patched up from a brawl that he needs help with and recruits you to do regardless. As for his hangover, a good meal or the “hair of the dog” cure does him best for a speedy recovery. He’s willing to cook or pour you something of your own if you could stomach it, willing to wait till the green is gone from your face.
Connor
* Connor is a light weight, doing well with only one or two drinks if spaced out well or more if watered down. His reasoning is to still be able and capable in case of an attack or emergency. During times of celebration, he will drink more and more potent beverages, but will do his best to moderate himself.
* Connor is a very social and friendly drunk at first, but later in the night he does get a bit sleepy. He’s definitely smiling and laughing more than his usual self, sometimes mixing English and his native tongue when he talks. He’s more tolerant of people touching him but still has his limits and muscle memory will take hold if someone gets too close and they get toppled to the ground.
* Connor needs someone to keep an eye on him when he’s drinking, just in case those reflexes kick in and he hurts someone or causes some property damage, unintentionally, of course. He might protest when you limit him or cut him off, but he does appreciate your efforts when his mind is sober. The real struggle is getting him into bed, the absolute bear of a man needing guidance before you get him roughly wear he needs to go though you know from living with him that he ends up on the floor more often than not.
* When you’re drunk, Connor keeps close and tries to have your best interest, making sure you’re cut off at your limit though this does cause you to protest and argue with him. You apologize the morning afterwards but he knows not to take your words seriously when boozed up, especially when it comes to comments that might be more suggestive. He makes sure you get to bed though whose bed is a different matter, you sometimes stealing his if the mood strikes you.
* Connor will usually sleep off the hangover but if it persists, a home cooked meal and tea does nicely to cure it. If the same doesn’t help yours, he would turn to Dr. Lyle for help, the concoction bitter but it’s easier to bare it when suffering with another. Apologies about behaviors and words said when drunk as well as thanks are your usual morning routine, taking it slow in order to recover fully usually followed by working on the washing to clear out the lingering smell of liquor and sick.
Edward
* Edward can out drink most of crew and peers. Chalk up to his years of perfecting the art of being functional when intoxicated, Edward can hold his liquor well enough, stumbling but still about to stand, or wobble, on his own two feet. Doesn’t have a preference when it comes to his drinks, as long as it flows and he can keep the buzz going. He’s used to the smell of sick and alcohol after a night of drinking so he’s very much nose blind to it.
* Edward is a man of many moods while drunk and it’s a luck of the draw which flavor of Kenway you get. Sometime you’ll have a Captain merely celebrating with his crew, singing along and enjoying the company but sometimes you get a moody Captain, frustrated with his lot in life and unable to do anything except drink those worries and fears away. If company sours, he’s capable of holding his own in a fight but needs to be ushered out before he makes the situation worse.
* It’s take a crew to keep an eye on their captain but when half that crew is just as drunk as their captain, it feels like you’re herding cats if you remain one of the few sober or even buzzed. Depending on his level of drunkenness, Edward will go without hassle most of the time, but will get kicked out if deemed a menace. You do your best to get him back to the Jackdaw but you do lose him sometimes, Edward returning on his own accord or you finding him later and scrapping him up.
* When you’re drunk, Edward makes sure you’re having fun and keep up with him, eager to share a drink, and maybe even try to work that Kenway charm on you. He’ll tease you for not being able to hold your drink, especially when you lose a bet with him but after the money’s run dry, he will make sure someone trusted will take you back to the Jackdaw.
* The traditional cure is the best cure; a little stash of whisker, rum, whatever he has on hand is enough to sober him up and if you’re lucky, he’ll share a little with you as you watch the sun rise on another day. He will scold you if you upchuck your insides on the deck, motioning you to do so off the rails but offers a rub or pat on the back to get it all out before offering his cure all.
Arno
* Arno has a rather good tolerance, used to drinking moderately and his drink of choice of beverage being higher in alcohol content. Prefer red over white wine but hates how it stains his clothes and the complaints about cleaning those stains afterwards by you or woman at the Café Théâtre. Arno likes to drink alone as he doesn’t want to get someone else involved in his mess in case a fight ensues.
* Arno is a moody drunk, prone to great anger as well as great sadness which is when he usually drinks, aggravating his behavior. He’s more willing to get into fights at the bar and does rather well fending off others but can get overwhelmed and pummeled to the ground if no one drags him out ahead of time. He also sulks when he drinks by himself, regret and sadness boiling over until he tries to find another bottle to nurse the pain or succumbs to it completely.
* Arno’s preference is to be alone or left alone when he drinks, but he knows that misery loves company and might be open to wallowing in that misery together with someone he can trust. He manages to stumble back to base when drunk though sometimes you find him at the old La Serre home and have to drag him out of there, usually waiting until he passes out. The ladies at the cafe help you to get him into him into bed, keeping watch until he finally wakes up.
* When you’re drunk, Arno is vigilant when you drink in public, getting you out when you’re cut off, but you don’t always end up at the same place. You usually end up at the cafe or home with Arno nowhere to be seen until you end of finding him, buried in his blankets or already up and out for the day, looking exhausted but functional.
* Arno is not a morning person, choosing to sleep off the hangover before heading down to the kitchen for the tea or coffee though if he’s lucky, you or one of the other ladies will leave him a cup within reach. He’d get you a cup as well but wouldn’t wake you, especially if the night was rough for both of you.
Jacob
* Jacob thinks he has a high tolerance but it’s just above average. It’s his cockiness and personality that really sells that illusion. He can still get around and do his job, although stumbling would be a better term. Is even more sassy and talks back more to others, especially if they get on his nerves. Sobers up real quick when caught by Evie or Henry, who would rat him out to Evie.
* Jacob is a social drunk, mingling with others and is able do get some work done while boozed. He’s more reckless, willing to show off in a fight or challenging others to a drinking game or gambling. Will celebrate with his Rooks with a round on him for a job well done but would spoil someone who’s caught his eye like you.
* Jacob is also a great drinking companion, always trying to challenge you to a game whether it’s drinking or gambling(sometimes combining the two if you’re drinking privately in his room) and the prize for the winner? Another pint! He’s also ready to get into a rumble with you, knocking heads and taking no prisoners. You try to be each other’s alibis when questioned what had happened and you’ve covered for Jacob so much that you have a back catalog of favors he owes you.
* When you’re drunk, Jacob tends to hover as to not give anyone any ideas and has fought people for even looking at you a little too long. He tends to have a hand somewhere on you whether it’s rubbing your back if you’re puking in the alley or patting your shoulder when you finally down your third pint with encouragement of course. Is in flavor of sloppy drunk makeouts.
* During extreme blackouts, you have had to locate Jacob if he didn’t end back up on the train. A few Rooks and you have found him in some unusual spots such as hay carts, trees, trains, roofs, benches, and even a different train. You’ve found him in your bed a few times but keep that to yourself. Regarding hangovers, Jacob’s go-tos are tea with a hearty breakfast or just nursing another pint.
Ezio
* Ezio has an above average drinking tolerance similar to Arno due to their culture and drinking habits. He actually prefers just to be buzzed, enough to have a good time but doesn’t like to get sloppy drunk. It’s only on rare occasions that he’ll go overboard with the drinks. Prefers to drink with others but if trying to impress a girl, would sneak her a drink from his family’s private stash to share.
* Ezio is a very flirty drunk, the buzz he has going on making his charm even smoother, even through slurred speech. He’s more bold with his choice of words and a little more handsy, also in favor of a drunken makeout session. But Ezio draws a hard line in the sand when it comes to making out drunk and would never force himself on a partner and especially when they’re absolutely wasted.
* Ezio would be a great wingman when drinking, encouraging you to take a chance if you’re interested in someone and even workshopping what to say to them though it does get a little awkward when you use his advice on himself but he chalks it up to you being a little too drunk. If so, he makes you sit and sober up a little bit until you’re ready to come back. He will also talk you up to anybody you’ve shown interest in.
* When you’re drunk, Ezio keeps you within view and makes sure no man takes advantage of you. If he’s willing to teach men a lesson about cheating and fooling around then sober, he’s more than willing to extend that curriculum to some scumbag trying to cop a feel or force themselves on you. Ezio overrides any choices you make when you’re completely hammered, instead taking you home or back with a trust friend or ally to sleep it off, even carrying you off if he needs to do so.
* A good nights rest has never done Ezio wrong to relieve his hangovers. Sometimes he has company, sometimes he doesn’t but he hasn’t complained either way though it is fun to try to remember the night’s events by reenacting them. If you do end up in bed together, romantic or not, he’ll wait until you wake you, either paying with your hair and gently caressing your skin until you do and tease you about what you did or didn’t do until you pull him close or chase him out.
