synopsis: Trapped in a broken marriage, you felt bound by everything you had invested in it, unable to walk away despite the cracks. But when Heeseung, unexpectedly striking up a friendship with your dick husband, entered the picture, things began to shift in ways you never saw coming.
my's note: i don't condone cheating. and this fic can be triggering for many, so read the warnings with care, please!
warnings: toxic relationship/marriage, fight/arguments, mentions of blood and wounds (due to the fight lol), y/n's husband is an ass but he doesn't attacks her physically, verbal abuse, y/n is constantly degraded by her husband, angst (with happy ending!!), pet names (mostly darling), cheating (yn cheats her husband with hee), SMUT - so minors DO NOT interact!, unprotected sex (donโt do it!!!), oral (f. receiving), fingering, squirting, lowkey angry sex. lmk if i missed something!
Heeseung was peacefully eating his lunch at the small companyโs break room; the other two spare tables were already occupied when he first stepped in, later than his usual schedule as he always managed to choose a less crowded hour to take his break peacefully.
The situation led him to sit with a random guy that apparently just entered the room as well, since he had his lunch box closed for quite a long time, while typing on his phone, laughing.
They both exchanged a few words as in โCan I sit here?โ and a comfortable โYeahโ in response; but as soon as the guy spoke again, his curious eyes followed towards his food and then, arched a brow
โWhat's up, man?โ
Heeseung attempted a friendly approach, but the man seemed inclined to complain other than talk. And although Heeseung was the type who preferred silence over small talk during meals, especially with strangers, he felt compelled to interact, given that they were the only two at the table.
The downside of arriving late or during peak hours: having to deal with people sharing โ and invading โ your space.
The man took a deep, exhausted sigh, his pursed lips indicating he was mad, his clenched jaw only adding to it, and the way he tilted his head quickly to the side before starting to speak got Heeseung regretting his decision of asking about it.
โMy wife. She's just too... Useless?โ The man blurted out, shrugging as if the statement held universal and undeniable truth.
He gave a brief unreadable gaze to Heeseung, that definitely didnโt spark not even an ounce of interest in him โ actually, he quietly prepared himself for the following words, restraining an eye-roll that was teetering to escape.ย
โCan't cook, can't keep the house clean, can't do shit,โ he continued, his tone dripping with gross disdain. โAnd the good thing she had on her, she lost through the years.โ
Heeseung kept his skeptical and slightly confused expression weighing his features, eyes darting towards the said โassโ food as he took a bite of his; it looked delicious and the smell was amazing. If the guy kept on crying over it, he would definitely suggest changing plates.
โYeah?โ Heeseung replied flatly, his voice carefully measured to express his disinterest.
He didnโt buy a word of the manโs complaints but held back the urge to ask why he had married this supposedly intolerable woman in the first place.
โYeah,โ he agreed and then leaned closer, now chewing a piece of meat with an exaggerated disgust. โYou know, she was a hottie back then,โ he muttered, a repulsive smirk creeping onto his face. Heeseung swallowed his will to punch that idiot in the face, his jaw clenching involuntarily. He wasnโt enjoying a glimmer of that conversation.
The manโs face contorted as if he was reminiscent about his wife in the past. โFuck, she was hot. Best pussy I've ever had. Thought I could marry her and screw my stress away, you know?โ The manโs head shook in mock disappointment. โBut now? She barely gives me anything. Always some excuse. Lazy as hell.โ
Heeseungโs stomach churned as the man's nauseating words thickly filled the air. He tried to focus on his own food, avoiding engaging any bit on that topic, but that casual, sickening misogyny was an appetite killer.
โYou get me, right?โ the man said, his voice dropping to a whisper. โYour wife probably takes care of you, huh? Keeps you satisfied?โ
The playful shove to Heeseungโs shoulder nearly pushed him over the edge. Holding back a retort โ or worse, a punch โ he forced his expression into something resembling composure.
โOh, Iโm not married,โ Heeseung finally said, his voice tight, sharp and precise, a clear indicator that he didnโt want to be bothered anymore, not by that fuck ass guy.
The man laughed, shaking his head. โWell, lucky you then.โ
That was Heeseung's first interaction with your husband. At the time, he couldn't have cared less about your relationship, he was indifferent, barely bothering to acknowledge it. His only genuine hope was that you would eventually escape from the grip of that asshole and find yourself with a real man who actually deserved you.
That was his stance โ until the moment he saw you.
It was the companyโs party reception or something similar, he didnโt care much to give a proper definition, not when you walked into the room, radiant in a sleek, black dress that hugged your figure perfectly. The way your smile lit up your face as you greeted everyone made the entire place seem to pause for a beat. Your lips, painted in a bold cherry red, glistened in the soft lighting, and your eyes โ oh, your eyes โ shone like stars in the night sky, captivating anyone who dared to meet your gaze.
You were beautiful in a way that left him breathless.ย
And then, as if in slow motion, his gaze shifted to the man standing beside you. Your husband. The one he eventually โ and unwillingly โ learned the name: Brendon.
The words that escaped his lips were little more than a breathless mutter, โAre you fucking joking?โ
His grip on the glass tightened, fingers curling around it with an intensity born from pure frustration and anger. This was the woman? The one your husband had described as plain, unremarkable, not even remotely sensual?
This goddess, standing there like an oasis mirage? Like something unreachable, untouchable, immaculate?ย
He couldnโt understand it, no, definitely not. A woman like you dating โ no, worse married to โ a douchebag that didnโt give you what you needed, what you deserved.
He didnโt believe in fate, but the way things had unfolded, Heeseung was starting to wonder if the universe had conspired to bring him there, to that exact moment. After all, there was no other way he would have ever crossed paths with you.
Witnessing your existence, so alluring, so captivating, had flickered a spark in his mind, like a quiet revelation that simmered until he couldnโt ignore it any longer.
Heeseung made it his mission to make you his.
It was a dangerous game, even reckless, his friends would try to stop it even before turning the idea into real words.
By then, he had gathered just enough to know the basics โ your husband was a waste of space, and you, without a doubt, deserved something far better.ย
He didnโt know how you felt about the way you were treated, nor how deeply you were tied to that toxic relationship, but he knew he had to take the chance, to shoot his shot.ย
With that resolve, and after draining his glass in a single gulp, his eyes never leaving yours, Heeseung moved towards you both with quiet confidence, every step sure and deliberate.
โHey, Brendon!โ
Heeseung noticed the way your beautiful eyes gently settled on his, briefly wandering over his body before returning to meet his gaze once again. Your cheeks flushed โ at least, he noticed a faint blush that didnโt seem to be the result of your flawless makeup.
He smiled warmly, shaking Brendonโs hand, who made sure to release his own from yours to greet Heeseung properly, pulling him into a half hug.
The first thing Heeseung would change in this dynamic: he would never let you go for something as a brief touch, left alone to greet some random acquaintance. And if he did, he would be quick to pull you back into his arms and show you off.
โHeeseung! Good to see you, man.โ
The pat on the back felt a little too friendly, a little too close for Heeseungโs liking, but if he had to go through hell just to get closer to you, the goddess, he would endure it.
โThis partyโs kind of weird. So far, Iโve only seen strange people, but itโs nice to have some familiar faces.โ
Heeseung forced a laugh as they pulled away, trying not to let the intensity of his gaze linger on you too much โ he couldnโt be too obvious.
โYeahโฆโ He replied, trying to keep the conversation going, but honestly, he had no interest in Brendon โ not that he could admit it out loud, especially since Brendon was probably the biggest obstacle in trying to do anything directly with you.
But when you responded to your husband with a shy smile, linking your arm with his, Heeseung couldnโt hide the wave of relief that washed over him. And your voice... It was beautiful.
โStop it, babe. They werenโt weird, they were just being nice.โ
โYeah. For you, itโs always just kindness,โ he rolled his eyes, not even bothering to reciprocate the affection by properly linking his arm with yours as he took a sip from his drink. โSee, Heeseung? Women and their sensitivities. Be careful when you get married, man. Choose wisely, donโt pick the sensitive ones.โ
The wave of nausea that hit Heeseung was enough for him to not even try to hide his discomfort. Brendon spilled all that nonsense like it was easy to say such atrocious things, ending it with a sleazy laugh that only added to the ridiculous image he was creating of himself.
Heeseung couldnโt deny that it was impressive how quickly Brendon could spew so much garbage, as if his mind was actively working to spread blind hatred towards anyone who didnโt fit into his corrupted morality.
โAnd this is...?โ
Before any awkward silence began to settle in, and after Heeseung noticed that Brendon hadnโt made even the slightest effort to acknowledge the stunning wife standing by his side, he took the cue and swiftly redirected the conversation towards his primary target: you.
โAh, Y/N. Apologies for not introducing myself earlier.โ
You smiled warmly, extending your hand for a handshake, but the touch was brief, fleeting โ only for Brendon to possessively wrap his arm around your waist and pull you closer to him.
Heeseung barely restrained the urge to roll his eyes โ so this was the type of man who treated his wife like trash, yet couldnโt stand anyone giving her attention?
โYou always forget your manners at home, donโt you, honey?โ Brendon tried to make a joke, one that only he seemed to find amusing as he laughed solitarily.
โPleasure to meet you, Y/N.โ
Heeseung didnโt bother mentioning that the few times he and Brendon had ever spoken, you had been one of the main topics โ yet none of those discussions had been about praising or cherishing you as you deserved. Instead, it was always something demeaning, as if your worth were only worth degrading.ย
Heeseung noticed that you seemed like you wanted to say something, almost as if you were about to murmur a โme too,โ but all that came out was a forced, distant smile โ almost sad, withdrawn. Your once radiant and seemingly communicative aura slowly and painfully faded away. You swallowed the words that dared to leave your mouth, and it left a bitter taste in Heeseungโs mouth to see that, but he swallowed it as well, choosing to remain polite โ at least for now.
And you, indeed, were holding yourself back. Brendon didnโt like it when you greeted other people, especially men. He used to tell you that they were all filthy, that they would seduce you and take you to their rooms to fuck you, and you, as the good slut you were, would give in to their charms.
Part of you wished that were true, because if you at least had good sex with your husband, it could serve as a reason to stay firmly and resistant to his attempts โ and success โ of being an ass, but even that he couldnโt give you.
โIโm going to the bathroom,โ you murmured, more to avoid a potential fight in the future than to actually inform anyone. You could feel the tears threatening to fall, burning like fire in your eyes.
There were moments when you questioned what was still keeping you there. You had read countless reports and books โ hidden, because Brendon didnโt like you becoming too informed โ about women in relationships that you later recognized as abusive. They were designed to destroy a woman's self-esteem and take out the light of happiness that once burned so brightly.
You saw yourself in each of those stories in different ways, because Brendon had never dared to physically harm you. His game was personal, psychological, like controlling the finances and part of your daily routines.
He even went as far as threatening to install cameras around your apartment to make sure you werenโt cheating on him or breaking any of his ridiculous rules when he was out of the house.
Thankfully, you managed to hold on to your decision to keep working, something you cherished deeply. The flower shop that took up most of your time was a sanctuary, a place where you could momentarily forget that you had a husband of questionable character.
It was undeniable that the thought of divorce had crossed your mind countless times. Building a routine of minimal care for him, based on his absurd demands, also fed the feeling of permanence. You had to stay because you had to take care of him. Who would make his lunch boxes or wash his underwear?
It was a trivial thing, and maybe you used it to cover up your true desire โ to run away, to escape from a relationship that, at one point, in a distant and fantastical past, had been full of promises that sounded genuine, of eternal love and affectionate care.
Everything was perfect during the first six months, until he realized that the sex he had once craved every day had lost its appeal, even though you kept trying to innovate, to please him. Brendon was never satisfied with you, judged every little part of your life as though that became his greatest pleasure.
Sharing a home with you was more of an obligation than a choice, and for a long time, you felt guilty.
He attempted to make it up with you, to buy you gifts and lead you to cute dates. It worked in the first year. And the second as well โ the transient hopeless feeling of fixing him, of growing over it, of getting used to itโฆ You tried everything.
To exhaust yourself in order to take every effort in the books to save your marriage from failure was in vain, your husband himself was making sure that your deep, sincere love turned into hate.
Heeseung was torn between feeling relieved that you had walked away and utterly frustrated that you had to.
He didnโt truly know you yet โย not enough to form solid judgments about whether your character was as vile as your husbandโs. However, the brief moments he shared with you were more than enough to convince him that you didnโt deserve even a fraction of the treatment Brendon gave you.
But if he wanted his plan to succeed, he needed to win Brendonโs trust first.
โSo, man, howโs it going?โ Heeseung forced himself to sound as friendly and approachable as possible, his expression carefully crafted to radiate genuine interest in how Brendonโs life had been lately.
โOh, you know. Tons of work, annoying clients, a couple of coworkers who... I donโt know, just seem like they couldnโt care less about their jobs. The usual.โ
The internal battle Heeseung was fighting was so intense he had to physically restrain himself from throwing the punch he had been saving for Brendon since day one. The man hadnโt said anything outrageous โ yet โ, but the way he carried himself, the way he spoke, was enough to taunt Heeseung the wrong way.
Still, he forced himself to stay in character.
โAh, that sounds rough. Sorry to hear youโve been under so much stress.โ
With a subtle pat on Brendonโs shoulder and words laced with faux sympathy, Heeseung could tell he had earned another fragment of his trust.
โThanks for understanding, man. When I try to talk about this stuff with my wife, she just goes insane, you know? Says all I do is complain, and that nothingโs ever good enoughโฆโ
Heeseung nodded, carefully calibrating his expression so nothing but fake empathy would slip through. Inwardly, he wholeheartedly agreed with you โ so much that he had to work hard to keep composure, leaving to Brendon the mission of filling up the awkward silence.ย
โAnd how am I supposed to not complain when she canโt do anything right?โ Brendon huffed, shrugging dramatically and exhaling like a childish tantrum.
Heeseungโs self-control was tested to its limits. He wanted to roll his eyes so badly but instead kept his mouth shut, grabbing a drink from a passing waiter to occupy his hands, not uttering a word.
โNo one at work does anything right, but then I think, well, at least I can go home and unwind with my hot wife. And then I get home, and itโs all wrong there, too.โ
This time, Heeseung couldnโt stop himself. The words slipped out before he could think better of them, sipping on his drink right after, eyes locked onto Brendonโs angry expression.
โHave you ever thought about getting a divorce?โ
Brendon turned to him, wide-eyed, as if Heeseung had just suggested something unthinkable, as if he was a lunatic.
โWhat? Divorce? Are you out of your mind, man?!โ And then he laughed, a hollow, grating sound. โSheโs the love of my life.โ
โOh, right. Sorry,โ Heeseung forced a small chuckle, drifting his eyes to his drink as he sipped once more. Yeah, definitely a lot of alcohol to help him go through this job of hell. โYou two look like a lovely couple, my bad for suggesting that shit,โ Heeseung nearly choked out that horrible sentence, cringing hard before the idea of complimenting anything in that piece of thrash.
โNah. Youโre good.โ
Little by little, Heeseung managed to earn Brendon's trust. He started conversations about their few shared interests, sometimes even pretending to know more about topics he wasnโt particularly invested in, all to build a solid foundation for their blossoming โfriendshipโ.
Heeseung had one clear goal: to keep you out of their conversations. He knew Brendon would likely take the opportunity to list every supposed flaw you had.
The more time Heeseung spent with Brendon, the more he realized he was a spoiled man who expected the world to revolve around his desires. It was almost comical and pathetic to hear him brag about his so-called glory days in college, where he claimed to have broken countless hearts as if it were some sort of accomplishment.
Through these interactions, Heeseung learned more about you โ or at least about how you and Brendon had met and fallen in love.
Back then, you were calm, the kind of girl few would approach because they thought you were plain, boring, bland โ Brendon's words. Apparently it was forbidden to use flattering ones even while describing how he fell in love with you. He decided to ask you out because, despite everything, you were pretty. And hot.
Of course, Brendonโs interest in you started with your looks and the supposedly mind-blowing sex you offered โ almost as if you were some kind of goddess in bed โ those were Brendonโs words again.
As Heeseung listened to Brendon recount this โlove story,โ he had to fight the urge to let his thoughts slip into words that would be anything but kind. He also worked hard to keep his expression neutral, not wanting to reveal his growing disdain.
The โlove of Brendonโs lifeโ wasnโt someone he cherished โ it was a possession, a fantasy. He married you to maintain his hold on you, to keep other men away, because the thought of someone else touching you drove him insane.
The absurdity of it all nearly made Heeseung sick. Brendon couldnโt speak about you without a complaint to follow, without reducing your beauty to objectification, or without expressing his so-called โloveโ through a thinly veiled frustration rooted in his own insecurities.
But amidst the storm of Brendonโs toxic words, like a single ray of sunlight on a cloudy day, Heeseung now had reasons to visit your home regularly.
You were rarely home when he came by. On weekends, you worked at the flower shop, with your days off falling on Mondays and Tuesdays instead of Saturdays and Sundays. Brendon didnโt seem to care, often commenting that at least your โannoying voiceโ wouldnโt disturb his peace.
Yet, Heeseung found himself wishing he could see you more often. After enduring so much time and effort to break through Brendonโs defenses, earning a significant amount of his trust, it was disheartening to not see the person who made it all worthwhile.
โY/N should be home early from work today. Letโs enjoy the peace while we can,โ Brendon said offhandedly.
Heeseungโs ears perked up at the news.
It was the fourth weekend in a row that Heeseung had ditched plans with his friends to hang out with Brendon. Their gaming sessions werenโt the worst โ most of the conversation revolved around the games themselves, sparing Heeseung from Brendonโs typical misogyny. But still, spending time with someone so consumed by complaints and negativity was exhausting.
The thought of finally seeing you again, however, was enough to rekindle his energy. Heeseung glanced at the time on his wristwatch, silently hoping your shift at the flower shop would end sooner rather than later; his heart was already racing at the thought of finally seeing you.
He cared little if you looked like a tired, married woman after a long day of work. You would still be beautiful, as always, with your charming smile that would likely grace your lips, your radiant gaze โ maybe even surprised to find him there, sprawled on the couch playing video games with your husband.ย
Heeseung just hoped you wouldn't misunderstand, that you wouldn't think he was anything like your husband. The fleeting idea of being seen under thar judgment was enough to make him slightly desperate to prove he was different.
When the door swung open, revealing a female figure entering, greeted by the dim light of the living room, Heeseung froze. Like, literally, his fingers froze on the controller, and his eyes locked on you.
You were wearing the most adorable light denim overalls, with embroidered mushrooms on the front. The black shirt contrasted perfectly with the light tone of your overalls and matched your black Converse sneakers perfectly. You looked beautiful.
โYo, we're gonna lose, man!โ Brendon shoved his shoulder into Heeseungโs to snap his focus back to the game.
โSorry,โ Heeseung murmured quietly, turning his gaze back to the light of the TV screen, though occasionally taking a moment to admire you as you slipped off your shoes and hung your purse by the door. โNeed help?โ He asked you directly, almost standing up from the couch when he finally noticed the two heavy bags of groceries you were carrying.
Brendon rolled his eyes and shoved Heeseung back onto the couch, not even giving you the chance to accept or decline the offer.
โIgnore her, focus here.โ
Heeseung shot Brendon a skeptical look, which luckily he didnโt catch as his eyes were glued to the screen again. Heeseung gave you one more glance, a silent apology in which you gently shook your head and smiled warmly, whispering.ย
โDonโt worry about it.โ
Heeseung could see the frustration in your tired eyes, although you attempted to keep as nonchalant as possible, as if you were used to your husband's futility. He watched how you vanished into the back of the house, most probably the kitchen to organize the items you had bought.ย
Somehow, Heeseung wasnโt interested in gaming anymore, not when you were just a few steps away and he could properly greet you. He stalled a little, just not to be too obvious with his intentions, before getting up and saying.
โIโm gonna grab something in the kitchen.โ
And of course, the spoiled asshole would ask for something as well.
โYeah, yeah. Grab me a beer.โ
โAlright.โ
Heeseung didnโt deny it; he had learned a few areas of the house already. After all, on the few occasions when Brendon didnโt say a single word about whether you were home or not, heโd claim he was going to the bathroom, when in reality, he was sneaking around, hoping naively he might catch a glimpse of you somewhere, gracing his eyes with your gorgeous presence.
The kitchen was the most obvious place his feet knew the way to by heart. It was the spot where guests were welcomed, where Brendon would offer drinks like whiskey and cold beer โ which, apart from you and the PS5, were the only decent things that house had to offer.
So Heeseung made his way there slowly, feigning casualness, though internally preparing himself for a direct interaction with you. Since the very first day, he hadnโt had a single chance to speak to you alone, so he had to make the most of every second to begin showing you that he was a good man, and that if you wanted, and allowed him to, he could show you just how good he could be โ in every sense of the word.
He heard a faint hum and the soft sound of things shifting around, indicating that you were still busy organizing the kitchen as he approached the room. He lowered his voice as much as possible to announce his presence, not wanting to startle you.
โAre you sure you donโt need help?โ
Even so, you jumped slightly and turned towards him, flashing wide eyes that expressed your surprise.
You didnโt expect no one to come into the kitchen, let alone your husband or his friend, but you couldnโt deny that you were a bit happy that he did so.
Despite befriending your husband, Heeseung seemed to be a nice guy. You had little to no information about him, since Brendon barely told you about his day or his overall routine during the brief moments you two were together; he would rather choose to mistreat you and complain about your mistakes instead of sharing the perks of his work day.
โYeah! Iโm sure,โ you managed to answer back in a breath, ignoring Heeseungโs presence for a bit as you reached for some of the groceries packages scattered all over the counter, to place them perfectly into the cabinets.ย
Heeseungโs eyes followed the motion of your skilled body handling everything a bit too well, as if you were used to chores overwork.
Heeseung felt a tingling urge to help, to be useful, to ease your stress. It was something he would do effortlessly, if he was the one married to you. In fact, if it were up to him, you would just sit there being beautiful while he took care of everything, because you deserved to be treated like a queen.
Brendon had complained countless times about all the things you did โ for him, obviously, in the form of grumbling.
How you were โcringeโ for making little love notes and putting them in his lunch box, how you made the bed so he could sleep, but never chose the most comfortable duvet, how you โtriedโ to cook his favorite meal but never got the seasoning right.
Heeseung once casually suggested swapping lunches, and when he finally had the chance to try your cooking, the urge to punch Brendon grew immensely, because it was all so good.
Brendon didnโt appreciate the little things you did. He saw them as annoyances, predictably bad, and yet they were the exact actions that made Heeseung realize just how special you were.
He was struck by how deeply you cared for someone who didnโt seem to understand, or even acknowledge, your efforts. It only made Heeseung more determined.
โSoโฆ You work at a flower shop, right?โย
Once again, you startled with Heeseungโs gentle voice suddenly echoing in the kitchen, pulling you out of your concentration state. You were crouched while organizing the groceries, and he was standing up, drinking ridiculously slowly a glass of water.
โYes, I do.โ You answered politely, but not quite giving Heeseung any recognizable attention.
โDo you like it?โ
His question caught you off guard. First, because you werenโt used to people asking about your interests, especially when it came to your โboringโ work. Secondly, because there was a sincerity in his voice, a curiosity that felt different from the usual respectful small talk.
You paused for a moment before straightening your legs, calmly turning on your heels to completely face Heeseung with a slight flabbergasted expression.ย
The moment your eyes laid on his tall figure casually leaning on the wall, your breath got caught in your throat โ was he watching you this whole time?
His bright and lightly inquisitive eyes were grazed on you, busying his lips with small sips of water and a hint of a tender smile, waiting for your reply. Your heart skipped a beat, a soft, thrilling tremor that vibrated through your body without leaving you to have any control over it as your hands started to tremble.ย
โI do, yeah.โ You pondered for a while, searching for the words that would match your genuine opinion over your job; unconsciously a sincere smile began to form on the corner of your lips and Heeseung took a close, quiet note to it. โItโsโฆ Itโs calm and peaceful. Fulfilling in a way, even when itโs exhausting. I feel I can be myself easily andโฆ Avoid someโ other stress. For a bit, at least.โ
Heeseungโs chest warmed with the way you spoke, a delicate radiance of soothing heat sweeping as your softly and lovingly voice talked about something you liked. He wished to see more of this persona, more of this part of you; the apparently authentic, happy version that expressed affection through your every pore.
However, he couldnโt help the sting that came along, knowing what โother stressโ you were talking about. He also hoped to help you escape out of that.ย
โThatโs good to know,โ he nodded tenderly, keeping his tone layered with honesty and kindness. Your eyelids blinked slowly as you watched Heeseung approach, silently placing the glass on the countertop that separated you both. โIโm glad to see you being passionate about what you do and enjoying your life, Y/N. At leastโฆ Part of it.โ
He had carefully constructed his sentence before speaking, wanting to ease you into the conversation with the most comforting approach he could offer. At the same time, he dared to let slip a part of his disguise, hoping you would pick up on the subtle hint about him being aware of the difficult reality of your marriage, particularly your situation.
Your eyes showed that you were slightly taken aback by his words. You were shrewd enough to catch the underlying message of what he had said, even though it was somewhat confusing to understand his exact intentions.ย
Still, you gave him a shy but pleasant smile, touched by his gentle and thoughtful words.
โThank you,โ you wouldโve ended there, but something unknown prompted you to add more, a sudden need to speak your truth. โI do what I can with what I have.โ
It sounded too sad, too realistic. Your eyes fell to your hands resting on the cold countertop as you spoke, nonetheless, it was your reality, after all: making do with what you had. You had learned the hardest way to survive on the scraps life gave you, to accept the little, or sometimes, nothing at all. It had become routine, normal โ your life for the last three years.
Heeseung caught the opening you had unwittingly โ or perhaps purposefully โ left for him and gently took the lead on the topic, offering his personal opinion as he noticed your guard had lowered at least a little.
โIt shouldnโt be like this, Y/N.โ
A part of him feared he had crossed a line, violated your boundaries, or even frightened you. If any of that had happened, he couldnโt think of a way to backpedal and ease into a gentler, slower approach. But he was surprised when you, equally startled by your own reaction, replied.
โBut itโs been this way.โ
The sigh that followed expressed your exhaustion โ an exhaustion you usually tried to ignore, otherwise it would send you down a path you didnโt feel capable of walking alone. โThis is how he makes it to be.โ
The indirect mention of Brendon shocked Heeseung even further, though it also brought a strange sense of relief. He hadnโt expected you to open up so quickly, still he wouldnโt take it for granted and chose to continue to walk carefully.
It was as if the plan he had set in motion had been laid out by divine hands, providing him with every tool necessary to reach his ultimate goal.
โIt doesnโt have to beโฆ You know that, right?โ
You were taken aback when Heeseungโs warm, gentle hand covered one of yours, making you flinch slightly but didnโt pull away. The touch was soft, innocent, and comforting. It offered you just enough weightlessness to let your words flow with more ease, your heart feeling lighter within each passing second.
You wished for that moment to last a bit more.ย
โMaybe I know, butโฆ itโs so hard.โ
Heeseung nodded softly, his gentle eyes tracing the lines of your face contorted with an expression of sadness and frustration, still avoiding his gaze. It was clear that you no longer wanted to live in this marriage, to be stuck with a jerk like Brendon. But something was holding you back. Or perhaps, you just hadnโt found anything โ or anyone โ that could truly pull you out of it.
Heeseung gently removed his hand from atop yours, sliding it beneath to hold it with care. โHow can I help you?โ
But before either of you could react, the sound of Brendon entering the kitchen shattered the tender moment that had been unfolding between you. His presence filled the room with that grotesque energy only he could bring.
โWhy are you taking so long, man?โ
Brendonโs voice cut sharply through the air, breaking the fragile moment. Your immediate jolt of surprise made you stumble backward, accidentally knocking over the sugar packet on the edge of the countertop with your elbow as you pulled your hand away from Heeseungโs, sending the white grains scattering across the floor. Brendonโs exasperated voice filled the air instantly.
โMessing everything up as always. Jesus Christ,โ Brendon snapped, tone dripping with disdain. The sharpness of it seemed to pierce through the quiet warmth you had shared, and the shift in the atmosphere was palpable.
Heeseung stiffened where he stood, his jaw clenched, knowing it wasnโt the right time or place to confront Brendon, but a part of him wanted to.
โIโm sorry, I didnโt mean toโโ You began, your voice tinged with guilt.ย
โYou never mean to do anything,โ he interrupted and rolled his eyes exaggeratedly. โGo grab something to clean this up. And while youโre at it, buy another packet. Use your money this time since youโre the one who made the fucking mess.โ
Heeseung stood on the corner, static, feet rooted to the ground, because if he slipped the built self-control out, he would be the one making fucking messes. His eyes darted from Brendonโs to you a brief second, acknowledging that you seemed to be blaming yourself for such a normal accident.
For a fleeting moment, when your eyes met Heeseungโs, what you saw wasnโt pity, it was fury. Not at you, but for you.
His gaze burned holes into Brendonโs side profile, the muscle in his jaw flexing visibly. If Brendon pushed just a little harder, it was clear that Heeseungโs restraint might shatter entirely. His fists curled tighter at his sides, as though physically grounding himself in order to maintain the calmness.ย
He wouldnโt admit out loud, not now, but the thought of you being involved in a possible fight was the primary thing holding him back. He didnโt want you to witness how bad and intensely he would make your husband taste his own blood โ alongside that, the fantasy of making Brendon clean the floor with his own tongue was tempting and so hard not to give it a listen.
โAnd why the hell are you taking so long?โ Brendon now turned to Heeseung, still holding an arrogant demeanor. โBet this bitch didnโt leave cold beer for us, and she was probably making up some excuse for it, right?โ
The venom in his words made Heeseungโs stomach twist, as well as his hands that clenched harder. His brows knitted together as he tried to process the sheer audacity of Brendonโs determination to make you feel worse. It was as if his entire worldview was built on finding fault in you, as though your very existence was an inconvenience to him.
โActually, Iโโ Heeseung started, his tone low and dangerously even.
โYeah, thatโs right.โ You quickly interrupted, your shaky voice expressing how affected and fearful you were. You moved to the fridge and grabbed two cans of beer to offer Heeseung. โIโm sorry. Here.โ
Heeseung froze, his gaze softening as he took in your unreadable face. He was confused by your reaction and decision, the realization you were trying to defuse the situation, even at your own expense, made his body heat to increase in pure, raw anger towards Brendon.
The kitchen felt suffocatingly small as Heeseung reached out to take the cans from your trembling hands. His fingers brushed against yours ever so slightly, a light, evanescent touch, that still created a visceral jolt that seemed to resonate between you both.
โThanks,โ he murmured softly, his voice barely audible.
Your hands fell back to your sides awkwardly, but the faint lingering warmth of his touch sent a wave of unfamiliar sensation through your body. You shivered slightly; it had been so long since youโd felt this โ a connection, something near to a meaningful acknowledgment of your presence as more than just an object of blame.
Brendonโs loud sigh and mutters about something random shattered whatever serenity the moment would unfold deeper. Heeseungโs grip on the beer cans tightened as he fought the growing urge to speak โ or worse, act.
For now, he let the silence swallow his frustration, though his eyes remained locked on you, silently promising that this wasnโt the end.
Heeseung felt like he needed to offer you a kind of safe space, an environment where you would feel comfortable enough to begin opening up completely.ย
The encounter in the kitchen was successful, until Brendon stepped in and broke the possibilities away. Ever since, he tried to change his plans of meeting Brendon during moments where you could be with him as well.
Heeseungโs whole plan was... Peculiar. He didnโt just aim to get you out of that toxic relationship, offering you the necessary support to help you leave. He primarily wanted to show you just how deserving you were of wonderful things, and that he wanted to be the one to provide some of that happiness.
It was a decision that might have been premature, with a high chance of leading to a dangerous and frustrating path. Even though Heeseung would use all of his tricks, you could still choose to stay. But he couldnโt control the erratic beating of his heart at the mere thought of having you for himself, nor could he ignore the ache in his chest of you opting not to let go, which demonstrated the intertwining of his emotions with this entire situation.
Heeseung was now seated at the dining table with you and your husband, chewing on the carefully prepared meal he had prepared for that โdinner among friends.โ
You looked breathtaking, as always. And Brendon? Spewing casual misogyny and ignorance, as always.
The dinner had been Heeseungโs idea, under the pretense of repaying the countless times he had dropped by your house, consuming snacks and drinks without contributing. It was, on the surface, a friendly gesture. But the real reason behind it was far less innocent, and Heeseung knew you were perceptive enough to catch on.
It was so glaringly obvious what Heeseungโs true intentions were that he tried his best not to make them even more apparent with every glance exchanged between you and him. Fortunately, or perhaps out of sheer ignorance, Brendon was far too naive to notice the way you subtly reacted to Heeseungโs laughter โ some of it genuine, some of it forced โ as you leaned ever so slightly forward, drawn to his presence.
Heeseung was acutely aware, though. He noticed everything about you โ every glance, every small smile.
Ever since Heeseung had started showing up during times when you were also home, the kitchen had become your unspoken sanctuary for a sweet connection. He didnโt force or coax you to speak your soul, rather he would give you a cozy place where you got to share fragments of your personal life amid discussions about nothing in particular โ Heeseung treasured them all.
He etched those details into his memory as if they were sacred scriptures, intending to one day prove to you just how deeply he cared โ and would keep caring, if you said yes.ย
Now, as Brendon lounged lazily at the dining table, and you, standing at the sink, rinsed your plate and Brendonโs, you tried to ignore the flush on your cheeks when Heeseung moved to casually stand beside you while keeping the talk with your husband about soccer or something you didnโt care about.
Heeseung leaned casually against the sink counter, the glass of whiskey in his hand catching the warm light of his kitchen as he took a slow sip. You could feel the weight of his presence, far, but still close, somehow calming and charged with unspoken intention.
โHey, man,โ Brendon broke the rhythm of the conversation suddenly, standing up. โWhereโs the bathroom?โ
Heeseung didnโt miss a beat, suppressing a grin because he had planned that all along โ to give enough non-alcoholic drinks to Brendon in order to make him leave for a few in the bathroom, getting at least some minutes alone with you.
With an easy, unaffected demeanor, he answered. โEnd of the hallway,โ and raised his glass slightly to point. โFirst door on the left.โ
Brendon nodded, his movements sluggish, and then casted a half-hearted glance your way.
โDonโt break anything while Iโm gone,โ he muttered, his tone an awkward attempt at humor.
You felt the corner of your mouth twitch into an usual forced smirk, the one you struggled to maintain as a way to faux express your contentment with his terrible jokes.
Brendon disappeared down the hallway, oblivious to Heeseungโs piercing gaze following as he did so.ย
The silence left behind was thick, buzzing with the tension of your now uninterrupted proximity with Heeseung, causing a sensation that got your body wincing without anything happening yet.ย
โSo,โ Heeseung began, his voice low and unhurried. He set his glass down on the counter, the faint clink of it meeting the surface echoing in the quiet room. His eyes found yours quickly, holding a weight that made your breath hitch slightly; he took a sweet notice of your blushing cheeks.ย
โSo,โ you echoed softly, your heart raced in anticipation of whatever was about to unfold, dodging the pull of Heeseungโs intense, yet soft, stare to concentrate back on doing the dishes.ย
โHow was the dinner?โ
Your shy smile grew before the tender question as you finished cleaning, silently asking for a hand drying cloth. Heeseung extended you one immediately, dreamy glistening eyes trailing carefully your every move with quiet devotion. He had his attention precisely torn in between the sound of Brendon coming back and you, the prettiest, kindest and most wonderful woman he ever saw.
โIt was amazing,โ you complimented with sincerity, resting the back of your hips on the edge of the counter top, glancing up through your eyelashes to meet Heeseungโs affectionate, smoldering gaze. โYou did amazing.โ
Heeseung chuckled softly, the sound low and subtle, like a sweet melody meant only for your ears. He shifted his weight forward, his movements deliberate as he positioned himself directly in front of you. His hands rested casually on either side of your body, palms flat against the countertop, effectively caging you in a way that was both daring and exhilarating.
โCanโt compare to yours, but yeah, I tried my best.โ
His voice was velvety, laced with a casual teasing warmth that sent a shiver down your spine, as if you were close friends.
Your breath hitched, shallow and uneven, betraying the steady facade you tried to maintain. The rapid rhythm of your heartbeat echoed in your ears, a dissonant tum-tum that matched the electricity crackling in the small space between you.
The proximity between you two felt suffocating in the most thrilling way; his attractive face was so close that you could see the flecks of lust in his deep, big brown eyes. He gazed at you with a tenderness that made your heart stutter, his head tilting slightly as if studying your every micro-expression.
Without realizing it, your hands moved of their own accord, awkwardly, yet hesitantly, until they found a place on Heeseungโs broad shoulders. The texture of his shirt beneath your fingertips grounded you, though the hesitant touch exposed your inner turmoil. Still, the simple gesture was enough to make Heeseungโs composure falter.
He hadnโt expected you to respond so involuntarily open.
โHeโll be back soon...โ You whispered, the words barely audible as your lashes fluttered shut for a moment. The nearness of Heeseung, the intoxicating scent of his cologne mingling with his natural warmth, made it impossible to focus on anything else. When, exactly, had Heeseung become your greatest temptation?
You werenโt blind to how he treated you. The way his gaze lingered, a mix of genuine affection and burning desire that ignited something dormant within you. It was undeniable the way he affected you, the way your thoughts would drift to him during the quiet, lonely hours of your life.
You fought against those thoughts with every fiber of your being, reminding yourself of the vows you once made. Yet, Heeseungโs constant presence made that fight infinitely harder, as if he hoped for you to drop everything you once promised, as though he taunted your self-control to its limits in order to make you discover fresh and tempting possibilities alongside him.
He was willing to make you wander a path you never quite give a thought to venture yourself into.ย
Heeseung leaned in, his voice dropping an octave, soft and husky, almost a caress against your fuzzed soul.
โI know how much he stresses you out, darling...โ The endearment slipped from his lips effortlessly, and you clutched his shirt as though it were the only thing keeping you sane. โLet me take that stress away.โ
His hooded eyes wandered over your face, not hurriedly but with a reverence that felt almost sacred, as if he were memorizing every line, every curve. The intensity of his gaze sent your heart racing again, his careful inspection leaving no part of you unseen.
Heeseung deeply saw you, and you started to treasure that.ย
The dryness in your throat was swallowed with difficulties, as if the saliva production had purposefully decreased only to make you wet your lips, an action that served to draw Heeseungโs attention to that area.
His gaze, dropping to something darker, held longer than he hoped for, but damn, you were so attractive, with your perfectly kissable lips inches from his, with your pretty eyes deliberately expressing your surrender to his charms.
He had to dig self-control in order not to kiss you right there, his own body wavering knowing he wouldnโt stop on just a brief make out moment; he yearned the urge of taking you as a whole, pleasuring you, worshipping you, giving you what you deserved.ย
โHeโs a good husband,โ you forced out, the words tasting weird, unconvincing as they left your mouth; it was a failed coping mechanism not to break in light of the awareness of how disastrous your marriage had become, one you got used to repeating to yourself over the years.
Heeseung tilted his head slightly, his expression softening as he absorbed your words. Your lazy eyes caught the small smirk dancing on his lips, a dry chuckle following just before he murmured with devastating precision.
โDoes he fuck you good?โ
Heeseungโs previous advances had slowly chipped away at your defenses, now the question landed like a wrecking ball in a crumbling wall โ strong, direct, and final, the checkmate that shattered everything your morals once held.ย
Your body responded before your mind could, a pulsing ache coiling in your core, leaving you clenching around nothing in a crescent despair that burned your skin. The audacity of his words stunned you, but the way they ignited something deep within left you reeling, dizzy.
Your husband had never aroused you with such ease, and with one simple question, Heeseung had rendered you breathless, nearly falling on your knees.
You met his gaze, your lips parted, however not a single word had strength enough to follow the deep breath you let out. The room seemed to shrink as you took in the intensity of Heeseungโs eyes, the world narrowing to just the two of you.
His boldness hung in the thick air, while your principles dangerously split between clinging to the lie you told yourself every day and surrendering to the temptation Heeseung presented so beautifully.
โHe provides the houseโโ
โBut does he make you feel good, Y/N?โ
He ignored your second attempt of forcing a narrative that both of you knew was just a facade, his inquisitive inspection and daring eyes never leaving yours, pushing you through the edge to fall onto his trap.ย
The more he pressed you, the more you felt tempted to give in, almost like an addiction to something you had never experienced before, a painful yearning for the thrilling rush that coursed through your veins in delicious anguish with the thought of... trying.ย ย
You feared that you might enjoy it too much if you gave in to whatever Heeseung was willing to offer.ย ย
โHe does, he makes me feel happyโฆโ
โNo, he doesnโt, Y/N. We both know that.โ He cut you off again, though his voice remained calm and low.ย ย
Heeseung was completely guided by the unconscious voice of his instincts that took control of his actions. He still remembered to respect you, to maintain a safe space, not to cross your boundaries, and, most importantly, not to push you beyond what you could handle. But it was so hard not to give in entirely to your complicit charms.ย ย
You didnโt seem to notice, but your hands were pulling his body closer, your eyes triangulating between his brown irises and his cherry-colored lips, almost like a silent invitation to kiss him. You also had tilted your head slightly to the side, relieving your bare neck in a subtle request for Heeseung to explore that sensitive area.
You presented yourself in such a surrendered way, so open, so... reckless for someone who was working so hard to maintain unnecessary morality.ย
Cheating wasnโt beautiful; neither of you believed in that. But why was cheating on your husband with Heeseung so ridiculously tempting?
โHe doesnโt deserve you, darlingโฆโ Heeseung replied, unaware that this was your biggest inner doubt, daring to approach the prickled flesh of your neck.
The tip of his nose brushed slowly, painfully close, without giving you what you secretly craved, while his hot breath caressed your tingling skin like a deliberate, gentle whisper of a quiet promise. You fluttered your eyes close, the grip on Heeseungโs shirt tightening as he continued.ย
โI can help you with that... Just give me the word.โ
โHeeseungโโ
Your desperate, breathy moan was interrupted by the sound of footsteps approaching. No, you didnโt hear them, but Heeseung was more than aware of Brendonโs return, taking on the job of carefully paying attention to it from the very beginning.ย
โThink about it, darling. I can relieve your stress.โ
It was the last thing he whispered in your ear before pressing a soft kiss to your cheek, pulling away to instantly resume his casual, friendly demeanor.ย ย
โDid I take too long?โ
Brendonโs voice wasnโt enough to break your trance. You felt your body weak and incredibly light, your flustered face showing a slight confusion and disbelief, with a subtle mix of wanting.ย
Heeseung glanced at you with a mild smile for a brief moment before wrapping an arm around Brendonโs shoulders to guide him into the living room, murmuring a hollow response, followed by some lame excuse about showing him something, in order to give you time to recompose yourself.ย
After a few minutes in a daze, you found yourself heading to the bathroom, because the interaction with Heeseung hadnโt just left a mark on your chest. No. Your panties were ruined, and you prayed you could hide it from Brendon for the rest of the night.
You had to hide your chaotic emotions for the rest of the following weeks, not just that night.
Brendon was completely unaware of the vast storm of thoughts racing through your mind as you did your household chores, which made it easier to ignore his misogynistic taunts and repulsive complaints throughout the day.
The memory of Heeseungโs soft lips brushing against your neck left an undeniable mark, and from time to time, you found yourself absentmindedly tracing the spot with your fingertips, almost as if you could still feel the warmth of his touch melting into your skin.
It was confusing to be in the position you were in, married on the paper to a jerk with the possibility of going after someone who apparently cared about you.
Sharing the same space with Heeseung had become increasingly difficult. You even started shifting your work schedule, taking days off when you knew he wouldnโt be able to come to your house, even though his visits had become less frequent.
You couldnโt quite figure out what had happened, but it seemed that Brendon and Heeseung had an argument after clashing over something trivial. It was as if Heeseung was finally showing his true colors, shedding the persona he had carefully crafted to get closer to your husband and eventually you, now that he had made his move in the invisible game of chess the two of you had been playing.
Besides your work, Brendon couldnโt control your friendships as well and luckily you had a supportful network that held you with warmth when the stress became overwhelming.
Countless times, your friends tried to show you that Brendon didnโt deserve even a fraction of the incredible woman you were, but as always, you had a well-rehearsed response that failed to mask the disrespect you had to endure with him.
Over time, your friends stopped trying to force you to see what you already knew was true, and in response, you made sure not to bring home issues into your work.
But that time, however, it was impossible to stay silent. Your face clearly showed discomfort and anxiety, but there was also a special sparkle in your eyes that piqued Yunjinโs curiosity.
โWhatโs got you so deep in thought on such a beautiful day, my lovely Y/N?โ
You snuggled into the back hug she gave you, chuckling softly at the way she addressed you, a clear sign that she wouldnโt let up until you answered.
Yunjin was your closest friend, the one who always made sure to check on you and your relationship, occasionally threatening to drag you out of your house by force โ but you always shot back, claiming it would probably make things worse.
She also knew about your recent sudden desire to escape, to distance yourself from everything that reminded you of Brendon โ something completely new in your shared world, based on past experiences. You always found some lame excuse to cover up such thoughts, rarely letting them slip, and suddenly things had changed; in recent days, you had left numerous hints that something completely different and new was unfolding.
A sigh escaped your lips, followed by your quiet reply. โIf I tell you, you might not believe it.โ
Yunjin adorably rested her chin on your shoulder, trying to look you in the eyes.
โHumor me, then.โ
You bit your lower lip, moving your head to the opposite side so you could hide how your cheeks flushed before you muttered.
โI want to cheat on my husband.โ
The small stockroom fell into a deafening silence as the words left your lips, words that had been corroding your mind for days, perhaps even weeks. Saying it out loud felt like giving your desire a tangible form, pulling it from the realm of unreachable fantasy into the tempting, possible reality.
It was a simple statement, yet it unleashed a storm of emotions in your chest and stomach, as if all the anxiety you had been harboring, trying to gather the courage to reach this conclusion, came crashing back in a wave that hit you like a brick wall.
Yunjinโs lack of immediate reaction only made the air feel heavier, stealing the very breath from your lungs. You could sense the tension in her body behind you, but your mind, too clouded by the fear of judgment, twisted it into something entirely different from what she truly felt.
โDonโt judge me, pleaโโ
โWho with?โ
Your head snapped to the side, stunned, as you searched your friendโs face. What you found wasnโt judgment or disgust but a spark of curiosity and, oddly enough, pride glimmering in her eyes, as though she had been waiting her whole life for you to say something this bold.
โWhat?โ
Yunjin loosened her back hug only to turn you around to face her, taking both of your hands in hers, which had been awkwardly dangling at your sides.
โAlright, so youโre going to cheat on your husband.โ She gave your fingers a reassuring squeeze. โWith who?โ
Her enthusiasm was impossible to miss, and it stirred something strangely exhilarating in you, like a mischievous excitement, as if you were about to hatch a secret plan doomed to fail, yet thrilling precisely because of the forbidden nature of it all.
At the same time, you couldnโt fully process her reaction. Tilting your head slightly, you frowned, skepticism evident on your face.
โWhat do you mean you're not calling me crazy or immoral? Shouldnโt you be scolding me, telling me I should divorce him instead of choosing to cheat?โ
Yunjin let out a soft sigh, a subtle and kind exhale, as a small smile danced on her lightly pink-tinted lips.
โY/N, my princess... After everything youโve been through, seeing you reach a point where youโre ready to break free from that awful man, even if itโs not in the โrightโ way, makes me happy and proud. So, I donโt care if you start this journey with an affair or a murderโโ
โI'm not murdering anyone!โ You quickly cut her off, widened eyes shooting a warning glance.ย
โWhatever,โ she rolled her eyes playfully, the corner of her lips twitching within a smirk. โEither way, Iโll support and help you, because I know that getting rid of that piece of trash will bring you as much peace and joy as it will bring me.โ
She wasnโt entirely wrong, but there was one critical detail she didnโt know yet, one that sent a thrill through you just imagining saying it aloud. For the first time, you realized you could actually put yourself first.
โIโm not cheating on Brendon to get revenge,โ you said, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. โIโm cheating on Brendon because Heeseung is hot, and I deserve better.โ
Your trembling fingers fidgeted with the hem of your shirt, each pounding beat of your heart showing how nervous you were as you stood in front of that door.
It had been a few days since your talk with Yunjin โ days made even more painful and exhausting by your husbandโs behavior. He had been nothing but a spoiled, petulant child as usual, a true pain in the ass with his petty, insufferable attitude. It felt as though he was deliberately testing your limits, pushing you closer and closer to the edge, waiting for the moment you would snap.
It was always the same game. He would provoke you until you reached your breaking point, only to paint himself as the victim once you finally exploded. He had done it before, twisting the narrative to label you as the irrational, overly sensitive one, incapable of handling even the smallest criticism. Of course, his idea of โsmall criticismโ was laughably detached from the reality of his hurtful words and actions.
The truth was undeniable: your relationship had long since turned cold, deprived of warmth in every sense of the word. The affection that once tied you together had dissolved after the first year of marriage, slipping away like water into a vast, unyielding ocean of discontent and sorrow.
Over time, you grew used to the scraps, and eventually, to nothing at all. You convinced yourself to accept whatever he offered, clinging to the hollow promise you had made โ to love each other no matter the circumstances. But deep down, you knew that love had died a long time ago. You just hadnโt found the courage to bury it.
โFuck you, Brendon. Go to hell!โ
Those were your penultimate words before storming out of the house you once shared, grabbing only the essentials โ your keys, your phone, and your bag. The last thing you said when he demanded to know where you were going was a truth laced with a hidden lie, where, in fact, you answered him correctly, only omitting the true intention behind your trip.
โSomewhere far away from you.โ
Thatโs how you ended up here, standing in front of a plain white door that now served as the only barrier between you and the reckless choice you were about to make.
Summoning a fleeting jolt of courage, you raised your hand and pressed the doorbell. The moment the sound echoed, your stomach dropped and the weight of what you were doing crashed down on you like a wave. There was no turning back now.
The sound of a key turning in the lock made your breath hitch. Each passing millisecond felt like an eternity, your uneven breathing exposing the anxiety surging through your body.
You had rehearsed a dozen speeches on your way here โ carefully thought-out words that would explain everything, rationalize your decision, maybe even give it some dignity. But the second the door opened and his familiar face came into view, every carefully crafted sentence vanished.
All that remained were the raw, desperate words that spilled out of your mouth before you could stop them.
โI wanna relieve my stress, Heeseung.โ
Without noticing, your eyes fluttered closed when you blurted out, as if you couldnโt bear to see Heeseungโs reaction to it, extremely embarrassed of how you voiced your inner desire. However, his silence was more than enough to make you hesitantly reopen then, expecting anything but the scenery that blessed your sight, making your throat close and the simple action of breathing extremely hard.ย
Heeseung stood there, freshly out of the shower after arriving from a very exhausting day at work. Clearly not expecting company, he had thrown on only a comfortable pair of sweatpants that hung low on his waist, the waistband of his underwear peeking out teasingly.ย
His exposed torso was graced with droplets of water that danced slowly through its extension, his mild tanned and flustered skin serving as a beautiful background canvas, giving you a private show you hadnโt requested, yet you were beyond thrilled to witness.
At first, Heeseung was very confused with furrowed brows and lost soft doe eyes scanning you as if trying to resolve a riddle. But then, realization hit in an instant when he pieced the puzzle: you, stress relief, clearly nervous at his doorโฆ
โOh?โ
The single word failed to snap you out of your shameless admiration.ย
Heeseung had an attractive physique, you already knew it. Tall figure, broad shoulders, waist slightly thinner than his hips, effortlessly strong arms; covered in his usual casual suit he was normally the culprit behind your small, careless mistakes, like burning your finger or miscutting a vegetable because your mind wandered a bit too far.
Now it felt like having access to forbidden footage, something you werenโt supposed to see, although you wanted to. Your gaze had been trailing every inch of his exposed form as if you were reading your favorite book, lingering longer on the defined V-line near to where he was covered, almost like daring you to look lower.ย
You almost didnโt notice how he shifted on his feet, body language switching instantly to match your dark eyes devouring his flesh deliberately.
Heeseung took a step closer and leaned on the door frame, his head dropping forward just to try to search for your hungry eyes, the fragrance of his shampoo permeating your senses like a flood.
โSo you want my help?โ
The question came quiet, yet sultry as ever, and acted as a stronger trigger to pull you out of your daze bubble completely, only now noticing how close he was.
Your cheeks exposed your mortification at being caught, though you didnโt actually want to hide your need and desire โ it was more like a moral shame, knowing that as soon as you allowed Heeseung to cross a specific line, there was no turning back.
With your fingers clutching your purse's handle firmly, you bravely nodded, tracking your eyes up and seeing the movement of Heeseung cocking his head to the side, as well as the curve of his lips turning into a smirk.
โYes, IโI want your help.โ
Hearing your consent replaced Heeseungโs mild doubt by an urge to take action, as if your words ignited something darker, deeper, that reflected each nuance of it on his drooping eyes. Something you hadn't seen in years, because the only gaze your husband managed to flash you was the usual disgusted, angry, disappointed one; something tempting, and unafraid, you took the bait.
โCome in, darling.โ
Your trembling legs somehow managed to follow Heeseung's lead. He had made the subtle decision to brush his hand lightly against your waist as he guided you to his bedroom, your gaze unfocused barely paying attention to the decor of his apartment.
The only things your mind could fully grasp were the warmth of his fleeting touch on your lower back, the soft, dim light that bathed the cozy interior of his space, and that the outcome that interaction would lead to was implicitly obvious.
It felt oddly familiar, like when you lost your virginity โ the weight of the forbidden, the eagerness to start and explore mingled with the fear of disappointment and regret, the realization that there was no turning back and things would change afterward.
It was a confusing, insecure mixture of emotions that left you dizzy, especially since you had always followed the vows of your marriage, promising to cherish, respect, and remain loyal to your partner.
But it was hard to hold onto that promise when you were the only one making an effort. It felt like an empty promise, broken, shattered, where only your side remained intact.
โWhat happened?โ
Your thoughts were so intense and overwhelming that you didn't even realize Heeseung had ushered you to sit at the edge of his soft bed, while he pulled the chair from the pair in the corner of the room and brought it closer to you, sitting directly in front of you.
You raised your sad, lost gaze to Heeseung, finding in his eyes an offer of care and attention. There was an underlying lust simmering beneath the surface, threatening to take over, but he was determined to stay composed, ensuring your consent came first.
Heeseung communicated with you without words, a connection so deep it made your heart race, as if the two of you could read each other effortlessly. A small, shaky sigh escaped your parted lips as your fingers fidgeted with your bag, seeking grounding in something tangible, something solid amidst the chaos in your mind.
You were about to cheat. Not just your husband but the promise you had made, once sacred. It felt like madness.
โYou know Iโm here, right?โ Heeseungโs reassuring voice pulled you out of the whirlwind of your thoughts, anchoring you to the present. And with that, you nodded and began.
โHe's been... strange.โ
Your eyes avoided Heeseungโs curious gaze as he leaned forward at first, close enough to rest his elbows on his knees while enveloping your hands in his warm, comforting grasp. He gave you a gentle squeeze, encouraging you to continue. You shivered and gathered strength to keep going.
โWeโve been fighting a lot lately, and it feels likeโฆ If I was already not enough before, now Iโm even worse.โ
"You were never โnot enough,โ Y/N,โ Heeseung interjected gently but firmly. You darted your eyes briefly towards him and he was frowning a bit.ย
โI know, itโs justโฆโ You swallowed the lump in your throat, holding back tears you didnโt want your husband to deserve. โHeโs always put me in this place, and I think I started going there on my own. Like, Iโm the incapable one, the one who screws everything up, the one who lost her sex appeal and canโt please him anymore...โ
Heeseung listened intently, his thumb softly brushing over the back of your hand like a silent reassurance that he was there for you. It was a comfort unlike anything you had felt in a long time.
โAnd lately... I think heโsโโ You hesitated, your gaze unfocused as it landed on a random spot on the chair behind Heeseung. โHeโs been coming home late from work, and honestly, Iโm relieved to some extent...โ A humorless laugh escaped you. โBut with the things heโs been saying, like how he could find something better elsewhere, how Iโm dispensableโฆ Itโs hard not to think heโs...โ You took a trembling breath, the tears you had been holding back falling slowly. โ...That heโs cheating on me.โ
You werenโt crying in full sobs or breaking down entirely. They were quiet tears of realization, a painful acceptance that everything you had worked to keep standing had already crumbled long ago, now waiting to be buried by you; tears of relief, knowing, somehow, you tried your very best.ย
Heeseung waited a few moments before raising your hands, still enveloped by his, to place a soft kiss on them. The following words sounded harsh and weighted contrastingly heavy with how tender his lips brushed your skin as he did so.
โHe is.โ
You froze, feeling your heart skip a beat and your stomach dropping. Your slightly widened eyes snapped to Heeseungโs, searching for any sign of dishonesty or teasing, but all you found was an expression of empathy, compassion that seemed to hurt him almost as much as it hurt you.
โW-What do you mean?โ
Even though your voice came reluctantly and your eyes kept drifting to every inch of Heeseungโs expression, as if you expected for it to be a massive lie he was telling you, that new piece of information had your entire being reacting weirdly, awakening โ or intensifying โ a stronger desire to maintain your previous plan, morality being thrown out the window.ย
Heeseungโs jaw tightened at your expectant, griefing eyes, and for a moment he looked away as though struggling to find the right words, the ones not to hurt you even more. When he finally spoke, his voice was soft but steady, and made you wince with a bittersweet feeling.
โHeโs been spending a lot of time with someone in finance these past few weeks,โ a sudden pang in your heart made your breath hitch. โAndโฆ from what Iโve seen, itโs not just friendly. His hand is always on her waist, and the smiles they exchange...โ He trailed off, not wanting to add to your pain, especially by how your lips pursed together into a small sad pout. โI caught them kissing the other day. I didnโt confront themโ I didnโt even know how to tell you. I didnโt know where you worked, and the only chance I had to see you was at your house.โ He gave a small, almost remorseful smile, avoiding your gaze. โAnd honestly, I knew I wouldnโt be able to control myself if I saw him.โ
His tone was apologetic and sincere, giving you enough to ignite a growing anger in your chest.ย
If you had doubts before, this was more than a confirmation. Not only about your marriage obviously going down in shambles, but mostly to know you werenโt wrong for searching for Heeseung in the first place.
Your mind was caught in a tug-of-war, split into two opposing forces. One side replayed the vows you had once written for your husband, while the other mercilessly pointed out the everyday moments that made it clear he no longer deserved a single word of those promises.
That latter part desperately sought justification, crafting reasons to convince yourself this wasnโt wrong. He did it first, it whispered. He cheated on you. You have every right to even the score.
But this wasnโt just about revenge. It was something deeper โ a mix of fractured morality and raw, unfiltered longing for the man standing before you. A man who had just confessed that he feared losing control if he ever faced your husband.
His words stirred something primal within you, replacing the sting of betrayal with a flicker of desire you couldnโt ignore.
Heeseung, in far less time than your husband had, had proven you were worth it. He showed you that you were someone worth fighting for, someone who deserved more.
The intensity in Heeseung's gaze was palpable, his eyes burning with a heat that made your breath hitch. When your own heavy, searching eyes met his, the air between you thickened, electric and tense. The room felt like it was holding its breath, waiting for one of you to make the next move.
Yet, as undeniable as the chemistry was, you were still hurt. The anger bubbling within you was impossible to suppress. Every fiber of your body screamed frustration, the weight of betrayal pounding against your chest like a drumbeat.
There was a fire inside you โ a burning rage that demanded release. You wanted to scream, to lash out, to make someone โ your husband โ feel the same devastation that was ripping through you. It felt like an overwhelming need to break something, to pour all your fury into a physical outlet.
And it was then that you realized you needed to take it out on something.ย
Before you could act on the reckless thought of leaning forward to claim Heeseung's kissable lips, he rose from his seat with a quiet confidence, still holding your hands. Gently, he tugged you to stand, leaving you momentarily dazed. Your bag slipped from your shoulder onto the chair he was sitting as he guided your body to turn away from him, positioning your back to his chest.
You shivered when his warm breath fanned over your ear, your composure threatening to crumble entirely. Your legs gave a slight, involuntary tremble, as if warning you that, depending on his next actions, you might find yourself falling face-first on the bed in front of you.
โCan I touch you?โ
His voice was soft, almost reverent, and the question sparked a mix of confusion and curiosity spiraling through you. You nodded silently, unable to form a coherent response, and his hands moved to your shoulders, his warm touch both soothing and electrifying.
โI know this is all fucked up," he murmured. "But I canโt let you carry all this tension.โ
You let out a small chuckle, your shoulders wiggling slightly as you did, allowing your head to tilt to the side. The gesture opened a new, vulnerable space for him to explore, and the silent invitation didnโt go unnoticed.
โIโm tiredโฆโ you whispered, your voice fragile. โFrustrated also. But so, so tired of being with him. And now that I know he cheated on me,โ your voice wavered, thick with suppressed anger and sorrow, โIโI thinkโ I know I deserve better, butโฆ I donโt even know what better looks like.โ
Heeseungโs thumbs pressed into the tense muscles of your upper back right after you spoke. You swore you could feel the ghost of a smirk on his lips as he leaned closer, his breath grazing your ear sweetly, yet sultrily.
โI can show you what better looks like, darling,โ he said lowering an octave, his tone both tempting and genuine, but mostly, filthy.
A low, involuntary hum escaped you, uncertain whether it was from the pleasure of his skilled touch kneading away your tension or the raw temptation dripping from his words, words that lingered in the air like a seductive promise, enticing you towards a darker path, leading to a gate of ruins โ the kind born of broken vows and desires forbidden.
โCan you?โ you shot back, your voice soft but tinged with challenge and curiosity, enough to elicit a low chuckle from Heeseung.
โYeah. If you let meโฆโ His lips brushed against the sensitive skin of your neck and a shiver coursed through you, your body instinctively relaxing under his touch. โI can show you. Just say the word, sweetheart.โ
You closed your eyes for a brief moment, and the now painful, agonizing memories of your dead relationship clouded the course of your next decisions. Not that if you were thinking entirely rationally you would avoid the temptation offered by Heeseung, nor would you shy away from the clear want to have him in a more intimate, more physical way.
Nonetheless, the rising anger towards Brendon, that had dismissed slightly but it hadnโt vanished, was slowly, yet completely taking over your being, controlling your senses and boosting the craving for making a move โ a wrong move.
There was an excruciating necessity for feeling the revenge melting deliciously on your tongue, to payback, to be in charge of the trajectory of your life back again.
The morality was long gone.
โPlease, Hee.โ
You tilted your head back, resting against Heeseungโs shoulder. The chant in your brain yelled for you to stop, to resolve things correctly, how they should be, however your hands had already covered Heeseungโs and deliberately pulled them up, his palms now groping your covered breasts with you inciting it.
โShow me.โ
Your voice was barely above a whisper, your thoughts failing to keep you away from succumbing to your raw desires โ Fuck Brendon, you said to yourself. He is the one to blame.
โShow me what I deserve.โ
You were blinded by a mix of desire, lust and anger when Heeseung pulled you closer and began to massage your breasts vigorously, his soft lips kissing the length of your neck, jaw and then, the corner of your mouth, while his fingers varied between pinching your nipples and playing with them.
Your desire to have him was overwhelming and indescribable, your body melted under his slow and gentle touch. But that wasn't what you wanted, no. You wanted more; more intense, more fervent, hotter.
You needed to vent your growing rage, you needed to feel your frustration and pain fading away before you exploded.
โI'm angry, Hee,โ you murmured through gritted teeth, your eyes narrowing only so you could turn towards Heeseung and grab him by the neck, the hands that once explored your chest now on your waist. โDon't treat me with care. Not now. Not today.โ
And in a frantic movement, you attached your lips to his as if it were the last thing you were doing in your life, not even paying attention to how Heeseung's eyes were darkened and clouded by pure lust.
Heeseung felt struck by lightning when he finally kissed the lips he had dreamed of feeling for so long, but he didn't have time to appreciate a single second of their softness because you soon sought to deepen the touch, exploring his mouth with your tongue, searching for his so you could embark on a messy and needy kiss.
Your hands tugged at his hair lightly, occasionally trailing down to his bare, warm shoulder, shivering under your touch. Your heads moved in an unsynchronized rhythm โ there was no time to cherish, to appreciate the intimate connection. You just wanted to feel him closer, to feel him deep in you.
When Heeseung's large hands grabbed your ass, you murmured something that sounded like โmoreโ, quickly indicating with your own hand for him to squeeze harder.
The request was swiftly met, your bodies pressing together hungrily to the point where you noticed the erection that was growing under the few cloths that covered Heeseung. You moaned when you felt him hard against you, your breathing hitching.
When you least expected it your back was laid out on Heeseung's bed, with him on top of you, still kissing your lips, your breaths heavy and interrupted, however not enough to break the connection.
But you still wanted more.
โMore, Hee. More.โ You exhaled at one point, when for a brief moment, your lips parted.
Heeseung had already thrown his sanity out the window. He had intended to treat you with care, affection, and show you how worthy you were, but his plans seemed to differ from yours; you seemed to need an intense and passionate sex, one that he knew he could offer you.
Without much hesitation, he dared to detach his lips from yours just so he could move them down your still covered torso, grazing the fabric of your shirt and stopping at the edge of the waistband of your slacks.
Heeseung guided his gaze upwards, only to find you slightly disheveled, panting, and with swollen lips. The skin around your mouth was reddened from the intensity of the kiss you shared, and he was sure he wasnโt much different himself.
โPlease, donโt stopโฆโ You whined and squirmed a little when you realized he was taking too much time to appreciate your expression of desperation instead of using it to make you feel good.
You felt your panties uncomfortably soaked with your arousal and your whole body boiled with lust and need for more.
More, more, more, it was what the chant in your head was screaming now, completely lost in the lustful haze that overwhelmed you agonizingly, mixed with the anger of having been betrayed, been cheated on.
Your hand fit perfectly on top of Heeseung's head when he finally removed your bottoms along with your panties in one go; his beautiful eyes, previously full of attention and affection, now showed pure need for having you naked and exposed.
โShit, darlingโฆโ Heeseung groaned, seeing your wet folds and pulsing hole. โYouโre so fucking perfect, so fucking wet,โ he kissed your inner thigh and you winced, throwing your head back on the pillow and trying to relax your breathing. โRelease your fucking anger on my hair while I make you fucking cum with my mouth, yeah?โ
Although you didnโt see, he flashed you a last mischievous glance and a smirk before darting back to stare at your inviting pussy, his own respiration hitching as his mouth watered.ย
Wasting no time, Heeseung dipped his flattened tongue all along your extension, sucking at the very end straight on your clit, just to get a preliminary taste but stirring quite a loud moan from you. Your hips waved forward to search for more immediate contact when he briefly leaned away to close his eyes, a phantom of a smile lingering on his lips as he appreciated your flavor melting in his palate.
Your hands pushed his head back down, forcing his face to dive deep into you and he couldn't be happier, even letting out a small giggle with your unashamed eagerness.
It felt amazing to receive an oral that skilled, that warm mouth working perfectly to suck your arousal enthusiastically, big nose nudging in an expert dance against your sensitive bud of nerves and, damn, that tongue assaulting your pulsing hole by entering in and eventually stroking through the other parts, passionately exploring your cunt.
Heeseung was giving you full attention.
Somehow it triggered an urge to cry in between your moans, because you were associating practically everything with your husband โ the heated kisses you never really got to receive, the deprivation of sexual interactions where you felt desired, the words that lifted your self esteem.
Brendon had never treated you this way, the right way. He barely even gave you a fraction of the care and attention that Heeseung was now showering upon you, his desire to bring you pleasure evidently being treated as if it was his own, as though having you shaking and pleading for more with your drenching cunt on his mouth riled him up.
Your eyes stung and tears dared to roll down your temples onto the pillow beneath your head, the lump on your throat and a strange feeling filling your chest that only fueled your pain and anger.
Instinctively, your fingers tightened their grip on Heeseung's soft hair, strong enough to make him groan in pain, but not enough to make him complain or ask you to stop. You also forced him down once again, using his face, mouth, tongue, nose, everything to get yourself off and drift the sorrow away.
โFโFuckโโ A whimper escaped your lips when Heeseung entertained your idea instead of backing off, intensifying how he was eating you out deliciously, his own breath growing stronger, ragged within each passing minute he deepened his head between your legs, nearly suffocating himself.
You could feel the foreign knot on your stomach tightening along with the pang in your chest and Heeseungโs grip on your thighs; his hands moved to under them to position on his broad shoulders, skin on skin making you notice how hot both of your bodies were, and, at the same time, serving as a not-so-gentle lucidity reminder of the intimacy you were sharing.
Although the temptation of achieving your release just with Heeseungโs mouth tickled your core, you couldnโt help the sane part of your brain prompting that, perhaps, the ongoing scenario wouldnโt happen even again and you had to live it up the best.
Everything was so confusing. You just had a reckless, frustrated and anger driven decision that led you to have Heeseung buried deep in your pussy, nonetheless you were still married โ at least on paper.ย
You had a husband.ย
The hand that held Heeseung in place was curiously your left one, as if the whole world wanted to remember you were being a cheater; your pretty ring sparkled amidst his dark locks in a beautiful, nearly artistic mess.
A roll of eyes brought you back to the overwhelming sensation of Heeseungโs warmth involving your sensitiveness, snapped you back into the haze of unawareness of your sad reality. He cherished your climax as much as you, and was willingly determined to make you cum just by his mouth. You, on the other hand, had different plans.
โHeeโฆโ You called in a moan and tried to pull him away, your closed eyes making the unleashed tears flow easily. He shook his head and pushed himself down again, oblivious to the turmoil blending with your pleasure.ย
He only halted his movements when you added. โMhm, stop, pleaseโโ
A soft kiss within a plop sound was planted on your clit when he stopped, stirring a small shake in your body and a quiet whine. Heeseung lifted his gaze and caught your furrowed brows and bitten-swollen lips, and also noticed your tears.
โWhatโs wrong, darling?โ
His voice carried a hint of concern, unsure if your tears were from pleasure or sadness, especially since you had just asked him to stop, leaving him dealing with mixed signals.
โNothing's wrong,โ you shook your head and smiled, because the man in front of you not only respected your request immediately but also prioritized your well-being over the sex. A rarity in your life.
Even so, Heeseung maneuvered your legs to place them back on the soft mattress and moved to hover comfortably over you, his eyes searching for your still closed ones. You felt a gentle stroke on your cheek, followed by his warm breath fanning your nose and lips, signaling he was closer to you than you had realized.
Your free hand blindly traced the path of his arms to his neck, while the other, still tangled in his hair, pulled him into a kiss with one singular, simple purpose: to drown out all the overthinking that had started to flood your mind.
The tears intensified as your lips moved in sync, and when Heeseung tried to pull back, likely to ask what was wrong, you tugged him down again and silenced the possibility by deepening the kiss.
A terrible feeling began to rise, fighting against the one that had filled the room minutes ago โ lust.
You wanted Heeseung as a man. You wanted him to keep touching you as he did moments ago, to give you the pleasure you deserved and wanted, not only because he offered that chance but mainly because you desired it and allowed it.
Yet, it was so messy and confusing. The weight of guilt pressed heavily on your chest, the self-awareness and the realization of cheating beginning to restrict your actions.
And then came the anger.
He betrayed you first. He didnโt treat you right. He didnโt respect you. Maybe, he didnโt even love you.
That marriage had been dead for so long. The faรงade you had desperately tried to keep intact by scattering beautiful flowers along the path was already thrown in the trash. You deserved better โ you deserved a confident, strong, incredible and undeniably attractive gentleman like Heeseung.
Heeseung.
Heeseung, who was right in front of you, so close, kissing you with a slow, addictive heat. Heeseung, who had respected you from the very beginning. Heeseung, who risked parts of his morality, his life, and his values just to get closer to you. Heeseung, who occupied every corner of your mind.
Why was it so hard to accept that you might actually deserve him?
A shaky sigh broke the intoxicating kiss as Heeseung propped himself up on one arm to look into your glossy, reddened eyes. Before any questioning words could escape his swollen lips, you allowed your raw desire to be spoken aloud.
โFuck me with your fingers,โ you demanded, your voice soft, yet firm and serious as your eyes roamed Heeseungโs features.ย
His forehead was starting to damp some hairs in sweat, his nostrils moved along his intense breathing and his lips, parted, showed your work of art on them, glistening with your saliva and earlier arousal.
Your hand covered the one that still lingered tenderly on your cheek, grabbing it to drive slowly down to your pussy.
โI want to feel you in every way possible, Hee.โ
Heeseung couldnโt deny the confusion of your actions, the sudden cry, the smallest hesitation he caught in between the kiss, and now this. He was in no place to deny such a filthy request though, a request that got his neglected, aching dick throbbing in his boxers, nearly screaming for some relief or space to breathe.
Still, an incomprehensive sensation lingered on the back of his head as he tracked your every face motion.
โAre you sure?โ The question itself was just a confirmation you were alright, you were still thinking somehow straight and taking decisions you really wanted to live up with.
Cheating wasnโt Heeseungโs game either. He hated the idea of being or having an affair as much as you; infidelity never sounded right to his ears. Nonetheless the situation was so uniquely specific. His true concern was when you would dump that jackass you called a husband, the one who wouldnโt lift a finger to make you happy, the one who, quite the opposite, would be more than thrilled to make you feel worse every passing day.
Selfish as it may be, it was genuine to his intentions. Heeseung had been fully aware of his plan from the start, knowing it wasnโt entirely right to do so, but sounded like the most possible option โ to show what you deserve, and how he would willingly give it to you.
Now, he wished he could have stayed loyal to the original intent of this entire thing, where he promised himself to help you out of a toxic relationship without getting personally attached.
But it was you. You, with your charming smile. You, with your pretty expressive eyes. You, with your loving personality. You, with your sincere care for those you loved.
You, taking over his thoughts within every shade of mundanity and profanity, from the most casual to the most profound and intimate area.
Tasting your lips was the first stumble. Venturing in your intimacy was where he fell.ย
โYes, Hee,โ you nodded, softened eyes showing your need along with a press of his fingertips into your hole, teasing an intrusion. He moaned with you. โIโm sure.โย
โFuck,โ a curse slipped from his mouth like a grunt, and his lips pressed against yours to kiss you again, because in no world he would miss the opportunity of having you this close, to drink from your whimpers as he circled his finger on your clenching pussy.
Heeseung was skilled in many nuances, you came to realize. But kissing was definitely his most noticeable talent. He knew where and when to move to match your energy, how to use his tongue to grace yours in a deliberate dance that twisted your feelings, leaving you lightheaded and dizzy, craving for more.
You might have taken his supposition of you deserving more a bit too far, because you also noticed Heeseung was apparently tailor-made to provoke your instincts of wanting, of more โ it never felt enough.
So when he finally inserted his middle finger, you jolted and gasped mid kiss, without being able to prevent your hips reflexively wiggling to get additional contact, nor your hands tightening around his silky strands, trembling just enough to make your desire noticeable.
โMore,โ you whispered in a shaky breath, lips brushing against each other before Heeseungโs ones trailed lazily along your cheek, lowering to your neck. You moaned. โAdd more, Heeseungโโย
Your spongy interior hugged his following finger in a warm, tempting hug and he didnโt hold back his shameless humping against your leg that matched the pump into you, his cock twitching in despair for release, for freedom. It felt tight; both your pussy and the fabric around his length.
Heeseung panted in between the sloppy kisses he delivered along the extension of your goosebumped skin, loving how needy you sounded and acted by clutching his hair stronger and waving your body forward.ย
His fingers worked wonders inside you, palm brushing lightly against your clit and providing a teasing amount of friction, but didn't give enough fulfillment to leave you satisfied. Both of you grew impatient before the silent shared-thought of Heeseungโs cock filling your pussy, replacing his two fingers, so he could feel all of you and hit your every spot.
A displeased whine followed by a quiet surprised gasp jumped out of your mouth when Heeseung removed his hand from you, lewdly licking his fingers clean with an arousing smirk before quickly sneaking it under your penult clothing piece to unclasp your bra.
You helped by arching your back just to give some space, and didnโt hide your shock by how easily he did it with just one hand; the tight tension that held boobs in place soothed as he removed your shirt altogether, making you sigh and wince a little as the room air fanned your, now, completely naked skin.
โNeed to fuck you, darling,โ he muttered, voice low, velvety and desperate. โNeed it so bad.โ
Your eyes followed closely how dilated Heeseungโs pupils were, blown with unfiltered, bare hunger dedicated to you. He unashamedly showed his craving by licking his swollen lips at the sight of your perked nipples aching for some attention, and for brief seconds he cupped your breasts with each of his hands and kneaded softly, just to feel the smoothness of them.
Your lazy smirk and hooded eyes demonstrated your enjoyment with the devotion Heeseung was giving you willingly, without asking anything in return as you were used to; your husband always sharply requested something back if you said you wanted him to play with your body and give you something instead of using it for his own pleasure.ย
โYouโre so fucking hot, darling,โ Heeseung complimented with a quiet grin, worshipping your gorgeous body exposed for his eyes, eyes that showered you with want, with genuine interest on what they were seeing.
Such a foreign experience for you.
He grazed his fingertips downwards the fat of your waist and hips as he, himself, lowered all the way on the bed before standing up on his feet.ย
โYou think so?โ You asked shyly, barely audible as you propped yourself in one arm to watch the small show Heeseung was giving you by removing his sweatpants; you couldnโt help your salivation or the pulses in your cunt seeing the shape of his cock, drawn along the fabric, and the big dampened portion indicating his leaking tip that teased the subsequent vision.
When Heeseung finally exposed his length completely, you couldnโt hold back the sigh, the wide-eyed stare, or the dry swallow that slid down your throat.
He was big. Long and flushed, angrily aching, begging for relief. And he was about to be inside you.
โFuckโฆโย
Heeseungโs grin stretched with your adorable, yet sultry reaction โ the whisper of your curse traveling straight into his ear, flattering his ego; your legs closing and your thighs clenching involuntarily in order to find some satisfaction stirring a throb on his hardened cock.ย
โIโm totally sure of it, doll,โ the endearment got your needy hole clenching more, and Heeseung seductively hovering on top of you with his piercing eyes locked onto yours didnโt help much. Your breath hitched, eyes gleaming with expectation, but your cheeks warmed after he added. โYouโre like a goddess.โ
Maybe it wasnโt exactly his words, but how he sustained eye contact while he voiced them. Heeseung had an attitude that got your core bubbling in a rush of excitement, both sexual andโฆ affectionate.ย
Effortlessly and shamelessly, he had expressed just how deeply you affected him, simply by being in your presence. The way his body responded to yours with such ease, by nothing more than fleeting touches and exchanged words, with your consent, felt surreal. It was so far from the reality you were used to, so unexpected.
โYou make me go insaneโฆโ He continued, kissing your neck while positioning himself in between your legs.
Your hands grabbed the sheets beneath you as he pressed the tip on your pussy, his free hand caressing your cheek as the other held his support beside your face.
โDreamed about you from the very first dayโฆโ
The confession sounded raw, voice slowly pronouncing each word with care, but hoarse enough to show the sincerity of it, as if he had let down his guard completely and was letting his deepest thoughts escape without filters. It caused an unfamiliar wave within you, something that both eased your nerves and sparked your curiosity, something that got you clutching the sheets harder and your eyes fluttering close.
โWhen I found out you were married to that pathetic excuse of a man,โ Heeseung maintained his tone low and deliberate, matching the rhythm he started to enter you, face still buried in your neck. โI was so, so pissed.โ
Your breath hitched, overwhelmed by the feeling of the weight of his length and how deliciously he was stretching your hole.
On top of that, Heeseungโs unfiltered words didnโt leave an open space for you to add anything else, too flustered, aroused, lost in your pleasure and bafflement under the bare feeling of intimacy, leaving the job of talking entirely for him.
So he kept going, taking your silence and how your brows furrowed into a contorted expression of pleasure as a positive reaction.ย
โI saw him talking shit about you every day,โ he murmured, already more than halfway inside you, taking his time, savoring the way you clenched around him. Soft and breathy grunts escaped amidst the speech he chose to vent to you. โAnd I couldnโt do anything, not back then. I had to get closer to him to get closer to you.โ
That piece of information was new, though you could easily deduce it by sorting out the fragments you already had. You wished you could fully comprehend it, respond as you wanted, maybe even thank him or whatever, but the way Heeseung deepened his movements, his body pressing against yours, his pelvis in contact with your skin, was clouding your mind.
โI wanted to destroy your marriage, love. Iโm not even ashamed to admit it,โ he whispered against your ear like telling you a secret, then raised his head to search your gaze. โSo, so, so beautifulโฆโย
You fluttered your lashes, weakly trying to meet his eyes. Your hands, once gripping the sheets, trembled as they found their way to Heeseung's shoulders. He noticed how your eyelids struggled to stay open, feeling the weight of his body on top of yours, knowing that every sensation was pulling you deeper into a space where he believed you truly belonged โ completely immersed in raw pleasure.
Your cheeks flushed, and although Heeseung believed it was from the lustful warmth, it was mostly because of his genuine words, the way he told his side of the story, which left you disoriented yet absorbing every sentence.
โYouโre gorgeous, darling,โ he said once again, as though expecting you to absorb the compliments. Knowing how unwanted your relationship made you feel, he had a mission to make you understand you were wonderful and he was deeply affected by you. โThe prettiest woman I ever laid my eyes on.โ
You whimpered quietly when he dared to move an inch away, pulling out his cock a little just to pump into you again. With your body already limp, you gave up on keeping watching his handsome face up-close, the glimpse of a tender smile being your last view before closing your eyes.
Heeseung took your decision as a silent invite for a kiss, hand sneaking in between your hair towards you nape, attaching his mouth on yours in a slow and sensual touch that got you melting even more. He muffled his own grunts as he drank in your beautiful moans.
You couldnโt come up with a proper description about the fluttering in your chest and stomach with such a gentle contact, nor the way his hips moved deliberately, allowing you to not only adjust, but feel his deep thrusts everywhere.ย
Somehow, you really felt Heeseung everywhere.ย
His tongue twisting softly with yours, sucking your lips with a slow passion that took your breath away. The words, lingering on the back of your head and mixing with the amount of pleasure he was giving you, had your heart beating louder and stronger against your ribcage.ย
โYou deserve more,โ he carried on with his mission of making you feel worthy, stopping the kiss to press his lips on the corner of your mouth. โSo much more, darling.โ
And although you wanted to enjoy the slow sex he was providing you, the words of devotion he was offering with so much ease and genuineness, your messy thoughts and feelings suppressed it.
It felt like Heeseungโs adoration triggered even harder those reminiscences of your broken marriage. You remembered the times you sacrificed yourself, damaging your mental health for someone that threw everything away to cheat you, to have an affair.ย
Regret was an euphemism to begin with what was going through your head. You felt so ridiculous for letting things get to that point. It was an unpleasant blend of blaming your husband and blaming yourself because, even if you tried to see it from the perspective that he never deserved even a fraction of your care and love, there was still the part where you chose to stay.
And why?
You had always brushed aside the possibility of divorce. At times, questioning why you stayed meant entering a limbo without an exit โ or one you didnโt want to find. So, you avoided thinking too much about it. You accepted what he gave you.
But why?ย
Why did you accept so little?
Your friends had asked you that a few times, but your anger grew at the mere thought of considering the question. Eventually, they stopped asking too.
It was a silent answer you didnโt want to give โ acknowledging that the man who had promised you eternal love didnโt love you anymore hurt your ego, hurt your sense of integrity. Instead of leaving, you chose to stay and try to fix it, to make yourself wanted and loved again. But how could you change something immutable?
Anger.
It flared again, thundering in your chest and making you tight your hands into fists. The fingers tangled in Heeseungโs hair gripped a tuft tightly, pulling unconsciously as a way to release your rising rage. He hissed right after, furrowing his brows trying to understand what was happening with you.
Heeseung felt like perceiving your actions and moods with surprising ease after spending quite some time along with you, observing your demeanor and how you changed expressions due to something in particular, either for good or bad.ย
However, right at that moment, when he was fucking you nice and slow, kissing you with care and giving you the amount of fondness he felt you deserved, he sensed confusing signals about what you really wanted. Or maybe he was interpreting your needs through his own perspective, assuming you sought love and affection when, in fact, you craved for something tougher.
Heeseung pressed your lips together once more, but now with less delicacy than before as testing the waters. You gave an immediate reaction, gradually loosening your grip on his locks to something teetering the bearable and actually pulling him closer, deepening whatever you could deep while kissing him.
The frustration in your chest dissipated as your tongues clashed aggressively against one another, suppressing your growing moans as he started to thrust faster. Within seconds, Heeseung started to hit a certain spot that got you shivering and letting out a particular loud moan under his strong hold on your body.
He quickly noticed the change in your body language and adapted himself to it. One last tug on your lower lip between his teeth, strong enough to almost leave bloody marks and elicit a groan from your throat, was what told you he was about to change positions.
Heeseung slightly raised his upper body to position himself on his knees and looked at you with a certain fierceness, with hunger, and you, now with your eyes mildly open, saw the bareness of his lust stirring the most profound heated desire carved in your soul, bringing back to life something you didnโt notice you had lost.
โSo this is what you wanted, huh?โ Heeseung flashed you a devilish grin, his voice low and notably teasing, finding support on your open thighs.ย
His pelvis, once slow, began to move with more urgency, gradually increasing the pace together with the smirk that graced the corner of his reddened lips. You winced, feeling dizzy with the sound of his low moans and the slapping skin-on-skin.
Rolling your eyes with a content smile and a quiet nod was your failed attempt to give a proper response, because you felt too lost embracing the sudden switch that got your core throbbing in excitement, at the same time that released your tensed nerves.
โSโgood,โ you whimpered and arched your back slightly, head being thrown back as you did so.ย
Heeseung cooed at the view of your boobs bouncing with each of his deep pounds into you, together with how your hands desperately struggled to find a grounding physical piece as you grabbed everything around you โ the sheets, his arms, the pillow.
He had picked up a rhythm that kept you swaying on the edge of your growing release, so extremely close to snapping you into a bliss of pleasure, yet far enough to drive you insane.
He was playing with you like a toy โ his favorite. Denying you the climax of your desire โ so freaking amazing.ย
โYโcould have told me earlier, darling,โ he clicked his tongue with faux disappointment, breathing heavy in between his sharp words. โWould be fucking you like this from the very begining.โ
You even tried to murmur a soft apology, but it got lost amidst your messy whimpers, your hazed mind, foggy with need making it hard to think of anything other than Heeseungโs cock, Heeseungโs voice, Heeseungโs name. Heeseung.
And you wanted more. Always. Fucking. More.
So with your lips falling open, you were able to only plead.
โMoreโฆ Please, Hee, moreโฆโ
Heeseung was going crazy as much as you. He felt his body becoming exhausted with each passing thrust, however, he had no intention of stopping too soon, not without feeling the amazing clench of your pussy hugging his dick so fucking good as you cummed all over his shaft, not without letting his release fullfill you in a way that you would never forget who fucked you dumb so good like that.ย
It felt like a magic spell, drifting him back and forth into reality and insanity, because of how good your cunt were making him feel, allowing his length to go fast, deep and strong into your pulsing hole; spongy interior pressing his hardened cock that ached for an orgasm.ย
โFucking pussyโ Fucking tight pussy, makes me insaneโ Shitโโ He panted in between breathy moans, voice coming out low, yet strained as his body faltered forward.
You lost count on how many times your eyes had rolled, not that you were actually trying to number it; the ecstasy Heeseung was providing you was wild, lunatic even. You only noticed his closeness again when his lips brushed your neck, not kissing or anything. He was justโฆ there, as lost in his pleasure as you, muttering a row of curses and your name within gorgeous moans.ย
You wanted to cum so, so bad, and somehow you couldnโt let go of it fully, the pressing knot on your lower stomach refusing to unfold into your orgasm.ย
โHeeโ Mhmโโ
Heeseung was in love with how distant and broken you sounded, babbling nonsense as he pounded deeper. In love with how hot and sweaty your skin was in contact with his equal one, showing how intimate you two were. In love with your beautiful noises, that made his balls tight with his near climax.ย
โFuckโ You like cheating on your jerk husband with me, don't you?โ The breathy question murmured against your earlobe had no purpose of getting an answer, yet you gave one, echoing โyesโ like a prayer, hand in fist hitting lightly Heeseungโs broad shoulder as a way to find an anchor. You were so close. โIt's okay, darling. Itโs okay, yeah?โย
Heeseung kissed your neck, then your lips.ย
โYou deserve better.โ
Heeseung led his fingers to rub your clit, eyes locked on your contorted face. So close.
โI can give you better.โ
Heeseungโs body trembled nearly at the same time as yours started to shake uncontrollably. The wave of pleasure that coursed through your body was too much to handle, so you simply let go, relaxing your entire being and allowing it to take control of your movements without thinking deep into it.
You saw the world turning into white for a few seconds, your ears ringing with an annoying, far noise that clouded your mind and numbed your limbs. Heeseung's name escaped your lips, the ones stained due to the long, passionate kisses and delicious bites, like a sob that was both painful and sweet.
You barely heard anything Heeseung cursed through his heavy breath and addictive moans, nor your name being called as he filled you with thick ropes of his warm cum, let alone the kiss he placed on your chin right after or the chuckle he let out when noticing your drool.
The burning sensation in your stomach traveled its path until it reached your cunt, releasing in a squirt as you cried and squirmed.ย
You cried, tears dancing on your face as you, slowly yet impactful, went through every possible sensation, but not really feeling all of them. It was weirdly good, an unprecedented experience you didnโt know you needed to have until right at that moment.
You wanted to make it last forever.
After what you decided to define as minutes passed, remotely distant, like a muffed blur, fighting with the dense fog inside your head, you started to hear Heeseungโs voice trying to bring you back to him.
โHey, darling,โ he kissed your cheek softly, brushing his thumb on your lower lip, a contact that contrasted absurdly with the fact that he was still buried deep within you. โIโve got you, mhm?โย
And he followed to shower you with affectionate sweet words, asking if you were alright, for you to open your eyes, to say some words just to know you were fine. At some random moment you lazily blinked, hardly actually seeing Heeseung due to your tear-drenched eyes.ย
โYou made me squirt,โ you whispered weakly, the lingering touch of Heeseungโs lips on yours still feeling like a ghostly caress, though you felt his body trembling as well as his smile when he chuckled.
โHell yeah, I did.โ
Heeseung slowly searched for air to his exhausted lungs, his body relaxing but making sure not to press your exhausted one. He was worried about your integrity after such a long and hard orgasm.ย
โYou good, baby?โย
The pet name felt natural, as if for Heeseung, calling you with endearing nicknames was as common as drinking water on a daily basis.
The warmth of his touch โ he had let his hand, which had once gently caressed your face and brushed away sweat-drenched strands of hair, travel to your waist โ was loving, making you yearn for more while feeling valued.
His gaze, full of care, radiated an aura of calm, like a magical magnet pulling you closer; there was no other explanation for your desperate desire to kiss him, as a way to reciprocate what he offered you freely.
Heeseung made you feel wanted, cherished, and respected in ways you hadn't known in far too long. It was all so new, though not entirely; it was confusing and messy and chaotic, but so, so good.
You gave a small nod in response and pulled him into another kiss, this time slow and gentle. You felt him pull his softened length from you, a small hiss and a frown coming from your side due to your sensitiveness.ย
โSorry,โ Heeseung whispered in a genuine apologetic tone before diving back again to keep his tongue brushing deliberately on yours.
He was kissing you with so much feeling, yet in a sensual motion that got your breath caught in your throat, the beats of your heart matching the pace of the subtle pressure of his swollen lips against yours.
You could feel a phantom of a smile coming from Heeseung in between the kiss, as if he was thrilled about what just happened with you two โ and to be honest, so were you. He had given you not only an unreal, breathtaking sexual experience that led your body to feel limp and extremely relaxed, but he mostly showed you the possibility beyond your current life.
Heeseung unveiled, somehow, your freedom to quit the confines you were trapped in, a way out of the prison that held you in place, restricting your needs, your wants and, mainly, your love and affection.
He had shown you an escape. Maybe a ruined one, but still an escape.ย
Nonetheless, as quickly the sweet moment started, it stopped, when a sudden wave of realization hit Heeseung. The once hazy mind that drove you both into an intense path, leading towards a more serene one, was now reactive and alert.
โOh, fuckโฆโ Heeseungโs voice was dripping with exasperated concern when he broke the kiss by leaning back from you with widened eyes.ย
The moment you saw his expression, you couldnโt help but frown, a confused pout forming on your lips. He started scanning the bed frantically, his gaze darting around as if searching for something if it was used, would be on hisโฆ โShit.โ He glanced down to see the obvious. No condom.
His mouth opened and closed, as if the words were stuck somewhere between his brain and his tongue. He exhaled deeply, searching for comfort in your gaze, but, obviously, you wouldnโt be offering a quarter of it to him. Actually, your curious-dumbfounded eyes increased his nervousness.
โWe didnโt use protection,โ he finally blurted, his voice heavy with anxiety.
Your heart skipped a beat at his words, the whole soothing atmosphere suddenly fading in a snap as the room seemed to shift, the air growing thick. You felt a shiver running down your spine and instinctively you lifted your body, propping yourself up on your elbows, your eyes widening with a surge of fear.ย
โHoly shit,โ you whispered, your voice trembling. You glanced back at him, your eyes wide with alarm, completely unaware of how Heeseungโs Adamโs apple bobbed when he swallowed dryly.ย
His usual calm demeanor faltered before your reaction, and the fear was clear in his current state, with his body tense, pupils blown and dilated, as well as his short bursts of breath that grazed your face, blending with your equally rapid one.
The following question got your chest tightening even stronger, the weight on the room now teetering unbearable.ย
โBโBut you take your pillsโฆ Right..?โ His voice wavered, his eyes desperately searched for reassurance in yours, his hand once gently holding you, now gripping quite fiercely on your hips.
Your immediate silence was more than enough of an answer, still you shook your head, denying. A cold spread through your chest when you realized you had made a huge mistake, your body falling back on the bed as you said, voice barely above a whisper as you did so, filled with terror.ย
โI stopped taking it when my sex life stopped existing.โ
Reading the situation, more specifically when he noticed your eyes brimming with fresh tears before you closed them, Heeseung quickly rushed to change his behavior, and instead of causing you even more pain and suffering, he sought to calm you.
โHey, hey. Calm down, alright?โ He positioned himself on his knees, gently taking your hands to pull you to sit as well. โWe always have the option of the plan B pill, right?โ
Fluttering your lids open, you sobbed, the view of Heeseungโs disheveled hair blurring due to your watered eyes.ย
โBut if he finds outโโ
โHe wonโt,โ Heeseung immediately interrupted, cupping your face tenderly.
He opted to ignore the pain in his chest because your instant line of thought somehow fueled a wave of realization that, despite his attempt to pull you away from that broken relationship, you might still go back to your husband as if nothing happened.
โIโll buy it before you leave, okay?โ
You let your gaze travel over Heeseungโs caring form as he gently caressed your face and placed random kisses on your lips. Your heart warmed, relief and genuine happiness flowing through every part of your body as you relaxed back, regulating your breathing. He nodded along with you, flashing a small smile that got your heartbeats thumping faster.ย
โBut just know that ifโ No. Forget it.โ Heeseung started, but then cut himself off with a quiet, mysterious laugh and a shake of head.
You raised an eyebrow, looking at him inquisitively with your head cocking to the side.
โNow you have to tell me.โ
A sigh escaped his lips when he realized you were unwavering in your demand and decided to speak, avoiding your stare.
โI was going to say that...โ He cleared his throat, feeling his cheeks heat up. โThat I wouldnโt mind you carrying a child of ours.โ
If it werenโt for the quietness of his room, you probably wouldnโt be able to hear a word of what he had said. Unfortunately โ or not โ, you heard each single part of it and your reaction was to freeze.
Heeseung immediately noticed how you tensed, the grip on his hand tightening since he hadnโt let go of one of your hands. He blushed in a deep shade of crimson, feeling mortified for saying something so outrageous, butโฆ He freaked out. He wanted to make you feel comfortable and secure, offering you a safe place with options for any possible outcome due to both of your irresponsibility. However, he made it worse.
โSorry. Iโ We donโt know each other well enough for me to say that, but... Youโre special, amazing, beautiful, smart... A child of yours would be a blessing, thatโs what I meant.โ
He tried to explain himself and he couldnโt pinpoint if it made the situation worse. The words caught in your throat because you hadnโt prepared for such a raw declaration after such intense and wonderful sex.
Heeseung was proving to you, once again, that you deserved more and better, even in between stumbled sentences of a rambled speech.
โIn any case...โ He continued, gulping. โI wouldnโt want a child of oursโ Yours. Mine?โ He giggled, embarrassed. โTo be conceived inโฆ Yโknowโฆโ
Your stomach dropped with the realization of what you just did. Yeah. A cheating sex. You cheated on your husband. Yes, you had a husband to start with.
How had you forgotten?
Once again, you found yourself torn in between your chaotic feelings, unable to make proper decisions due to your sensitive mind. You just had an amazing moment with Heeseung and would be willing to extend for some more encounters. On the other hand, there was still so much you needed to work through โ both internally and externally โ and it involved another person as well.ย
The one who was supposed to be the love of your life, just as the promises of youth had once told you.
But those promises now felt like distant echoes, fading against the weight of reality. The life you imagined with Brendon had been clouded by too many unanswered questions, too many unsaid things throughout plenty of years. It crashed down now, like a tide that dragged you towards the deep, profound ocean of uncertainty.ย
The connection that was supposed to bring comfort now seemed like a distant and extremely painful memory, because, afterall, he betrayed you first.
Lost in your reminiscences and confusing mind, you didnโt notice when Heeseung laid you back down on the mattress, cleaning you gently while leaving you to your thoughts. He was aware of the necessity of you having to think. He couldnโt even imagine what was going on in your mind and, honestly, he didnโt know if you wanted to share with him.
Especially with him.
Heeseung was not only an acquaintance of your husband anymore. He was the man that helped you to cheat. He was your affair, the wrong side of your life, the lack of morality, of honesty, of loyalty. He would be associated with that for the rest of your days, and strangely enough, he had no regrets.
Heeseung was aware that despite all the wrong decisions made that night, in the end, you got what you deserved: affection and the feeling of being cared for.
That was what you deserved, forever; to be desired, to be adored, to be placed on a pedestal as the incredibly wonderful goddess that you were.
Brendon didnโt deserve the heart-shaped sandwiches or the love notes you worked so hard to make every day, nor the meticulous care you put into the home he lived in, even though you worked as much as he did.
He didnโt deserve the way you looked at him with fondness, although most of the time it was a pretense, hiding the real layer of what you had felt for so long and refused to accept.
He didnโt deserve to hear your beautiful voice excitedly talking about a new flower arrangement you made or the new recipe you learned and nailed on the first try. He didnโt deserve to hear your laughter while watching comedy films or when something went wrong and you giggled, embarrassed.
Heeseung didnโt know if he, himself, deserved any of that, but he wanted to make you realize that you were so much more than just a facade of a wife.
You were so much moreโฆ To him.
โHow do I go back to my house now?โ You asked quietly after a while, your voice breaking the silence of the room like an anvil falling into a glass-floor.ย
The question, however, wasnโt exactly directed to anyone in particular, you didnโt even notice you said aloud.
Heeseungโs response caught you off guard.ย
โDo you want me to take you?โ
You sighed, looking at him. As said before, you had laid back on the bed and he was right by your side, caressing you while you spent your last minutes thinking about your life and your future decisions.ย
Heeseung driving you back to your house would make things worse, though you wanted to see how Brendon would react to that.
Brendon. Why does his reaction still mattered to you? He literally chose the same path you did tonight, but way before you and keeping his cool, as if he wasnโt throwing his whole marriage into the thrash for some random chick at his work.
โNo.โ You answered after a brief, yet close inspection. โI need some time alone.โ
And Heeseungโs chest tightened in pain. You could still choose to stay with your husband after everything, it has always been one of the options when everything first started.
He swallowed the urge to try to convince you of hisโฆ Love? He couldnโt even name it yet, but something was definitely blooming into his heart and you, with your beautiful presence, was the big picture in that scenario.ย
โOkay,โ he whispered, agreeing with you.
And although you, yourself, werenโt sure of much, Heeseung was of one thing.ย
It was more than worth it.ย
When you got back home, the silence and the darkness of your house greeted you, embracing your confused and broken self with something bittersweet โ your home was supposed to be your comfort spot, however it felt wrong.ย
Everything felt misplaced, even though nothing had moved out of position.ย
You scanned every corner of the living room, and yet, despite its familiarity, it felt foreign, like you didnโt belong there anymore. Perhaps you never did.
The walls were adorned with photos of you and Brendon, frozen moments from a life that now felt distant. The blanket draped over the couch was in your favorite color, a choice you had made once. On the coffee table sat an empty beer bottle, a quiet marker of your husbandโs absence.
There were traces of you both scattered throughout the room, but more of you โ too much of you, as if you had been trying to compensate for something. It felt forced, a desperate attempt to fit into a space that no longer welcomed you, if it ever had.
The realization clawed at your chest, leaving a dull ache behind. How had you gone so long without seeing it? Was it Heeseung โ his touch, his words โ that finally broke through the carefully constructed denial? Had he been the catalyst for you noticing just how distant you had become, not only from your marriage but from yourself?
You felt like an afterthought, an appendage to someone elseโs story, shaped and reshaped to fit a mold that was never meant for you. When had you started losing yourself? How had it come to this?
Those questions lingered as you retreated to the guest bedroom that night, claiming it as your sanctuary. For the first time in years, you felt the stirrings of autonomy, fragile but liberating. The divorce was inevitable now, and though the thought of it was daunting, it also carried a bittersweet promise of freedom.
Years of effort and devotion would be discarded, left behind like relics of a life you no longer wanted. But there was still so much ahead of you โ a chance to rediscover who you were, to seek experiences that might lead you closer to the version of yourself you once dreamed of becoming.
Heeseung had shown you that in such a short time.
And there he was again, invading your mind without warning, his presence haunting you in ways you couldnโt shake. You still feared that you might not be able to untangle your motives, whether they were born from the rage of betrayal and the years wasted on Brendon or from the fleeting warmth Heeseung had offered you with such tenderness and sincerity.
It felt good to be wanted, cherished even, but a painful truth gnawed at the edges of your resolve: you couldnโt just leap from one branch to another. It was your life, not Brendonโs, not Heeseungโs. Yours.
In the bittersweet goodbye that had left a knot in your throat and tears threatening to spill, Heeseung had told you he would wait, that there was something he felt for you that went beyond how your relationship had begun, tangled in raw desire and masked in the shadow of infidelity.
But no matter how grateful you were for him, you knew there was a path you had to walk alone first.
It was with that conviction, and Yunjinโs steady hand gripping yours, that you signed the divorce papers the following week after an argument tinged with sorrow, regret and truths being yelled out.
None of the words Brendon said to you would be forgotten. The contempt, the look of disgust, the bitterness as he harshly verbalized that you were never good enough for him. Yet, you would keep them in a special box, as a poignant reminder that you went through the worst, that you overcame the heaviest moment of your life.
You wouldnโt forget the hatred he made you feel for yourself, because it was through it that you allowed yourself to start loving you again.
Your chest tightened, anxiety and anticipation intertwining as you faced the blank slate of what came next. You had no idea where this journey would take you โ but for the first time in years, it was entirely yours.
A first date.
You vaguely remembered the last time your body felt this nervous at the thought of meeting someone. It definitely hadnโt been with your now ex-husband, but it had been long enough to leave you sweating under your arms.
After a few encouraging words with Yunjin through your phone and a โgood luckโ text from your mom โ who had been thrilled to hear about your divorce and provided immense physical and emotional support during those first few weeks โ you stepped outside your apartment.
You had saved enough money to maintain yourself, still working at the flower shop on weekends as a hobby, after landing a job at a photography studio specializing in model shoots.
It was a passion that had been crushed when your ex made you believe your work was inferior and lame, forcing you to shrink yourself to fit into his impossible standards by leaving your best sides outside.
Now, freedom was your closest companion. You went out for coffee by yourself, enjoyed lunches at pleasant restaurants in your own company, and never felt sad or shaken by being alone โ because you were alone, but you didnโt feel lonely.
The autonomy surrounding you was intoxicating, filling you with radiance to push forward with your days, even in the face of difficulties.
A quick greeting with the doorman snapped you back to reality as you headed to the restaurant that would be graced by your presence tonight. The difference this time was that you wouldnโt be dining alone.
The soft door noise indicated your entrance at the place, and instinctively your fierce eyes swerved through the small crowd looking out for someone. The way your heart raced made it feel like it might burst out of your chest the moment you saw his broad, unforgettable shoulders.
โHee?โ
He was standing, his tall figure casually leaning on the countertop chatting with someone at the little open bar in the corner of the restaurant. When he heard your angelic voice calling him, it took him seconds to turn and face you.
โY/N.โ
Your name left his kissable lips like a relieved sigh. And truly, he was relieved. Not that he thought you would stand him up, but after receiving an anonymous message โ followed by the revelation that it was from you, a year after everything that had happened between you two โ, asking for a meeting, it was hard for him to think positively about anything.
The walk as you approached felt as if the world had blurred into nothingness. The background music softened until it became a distant echo, your eyes fixed on Heeseung like he was the main subject through the lens of your camera, with everything else fading into obscurity.
Even in your daze, you caught the hesitant twitch of his hand, as though he wanted to reach for you but feared you might vanish the moment he did. The thought of him yearning for you as much as you desired him made your heart pound harder, stronger, and the flutter in your stomach increased.
In the past year, your mind often wandered back to how he made you feel in every nuance, from both physically and emotionally. It was undeniable that the heated night you shared replayed in your head like an irresistible, delicious film, tempting your urge to give up completely on your healing plan and run towards him.
But you couldnโt let yourself act in such a way, not when you promised you would be sure of your decisions from now on, and Heeseung was still a fragile subject back then.ย
His height difference was striking enough to make you tilt your head up to meet his gaze, a movement that made you feel shyly adorable, and before Heeseung could help himself, a compliment slipped from his lips.
โYou look beautiful.โ
Your cheeks burned with fluster, unprepared for such an open and genuine remark. But it was Heeseung โ effortlessly charming, naturally disarming.
โThank you,โ you muttered, glancing down briefly before meeting his eyes again. โYou look amazing, as always.โ
Your compliment wasnโt just polite โ he truly did look gorgeous. He looked delectable, dressed in casual all-black attire. His button-up shirt was left slightly undone, teasing you with a glimpse of his sun-kissed chest adorned with a golden chain that only added to his allure.
And then there was his brand new haircut. Heeseung had gone for an undercut, a style that veered away from his usual office persona but perfectly captured his seductive, magnetic charm. At least to you, it worked far too well.
On the other hand, Heeseung had to actively remind himself of how to keep air in and out of his lungs, otherwise he would pass out before your alluring, enticing, beautiful, provocative, goddess-like, unreal figure.
You had changed a lot, for better; not that you were anything other than stunning and attractive before, but you now carried your presence with confidence, you had a special glow that shone brighter than any chandelier in that fancy dinner place, enough to make Heeseung struggle to keep his cool, relaxed demeanor.
He could feel his self-control faltering, slipping through his fingers like sand, utterly unable to think straight as you quietly, yet intensely analyzed his features with your pretty eyes.ย
โI reserved a table for us,โ he managed to voice out, although it sounded slightly hushed.ย
You giggled with his unexpected nervous behavior, clutching your bag strap as you nodded. โBet you did.โ
And with that, Heeseung guided you towards the mentioned table, placed far enough from the general crowd to grant you both a bit of privacy, with his hand touching your lower back. The area heated enough to leave you tense, yet thrilled with the fact that the atmosphere was slowly loosening.ย
The conversation that followed felt awkward at first โ unsurprisingly, considering your last encounter had been chaotic, brimmed with lust, guilt, and anger over circumstances neither of you could fully control. And, of course, it had all unfolded under the veil of cheating.
But as the initial tension began to dissipate, you found the exchange becoming more fluid. Heeseungโs responses gradually eased your nerves, just as your candidness gave him obvious clues about your intentions.
He admitted he wasnโt seeing anyone. In fact, since your last encounter, he had gone on a handful of dates, none of which, he confessed with a shy chuckle, had left him remotely satisfied. This revelation only came after he relaxed enough to let it slip, his words hesitant yet genuine.
If you had to describe him in one word, it would be anxious. And he was, in fact, very anxious about the outcome of the night, about the new details of your life, about what might unfold beyond this dinner.
There was a distinct tension lingering in the air between you, a silent but undeniable pull. It was as if the thought of your lips attaching together was a shared, unspoken desire โ loud enough to keep ringing in your minds, connected by the lustful want of being each otherโs.
It made its way subtly through the playful banter, through your soft laughter over his silly jokes, and mostly, through the fleeting touches on your shoulders and thighs.
โYโknow, after the whole thing we did, I was afraid I might back out with the divorce,โ you blurted suddenly, after relaxing on the small couch they used as seats for that table.
Heeseung was sitting on your side, after you asked him to do so, instead of taking the seat in front of you. The minimal seconds with him were enough to make you crave more โ Heeseungโs natural effect on you โ, and you were glad he embarked on your request, even placing his arm on the back of your headset.ย
This was the first time you mentioned the occurrence, though.
Heeseung wasnโt sure about it, but throughout the night he eventually figured out there was no way you would be acting this happy and sincere, beaming with your achievements and living an apparent good life, if you were still with that jerk.
Either way, hearing you speak brought the weight of reality โ the weight that you were finally away from that shitty man, and even if it sparked a small flame of hope that maybe you might let him care for you the way he had wanted, his relief was already established by knowing you were no longer trapped in a burden relationship that aimed to destroy your beautiful soul.
He sipped on his drink before muttering, eyes never once glancing away from yours. You felt seen.ย
โAnd what made you keep with it?โย
For a moment, a brief feeling of embarrassment flushed through you, although you didnโt let it take over your following response, sounding firm and, somehow, determined.ย
โYou.โ
After you answered with such a soft tone, you tracked the movement of Heeseungโs Adamโs apple moving as he gulped, but he didnโt show any signal of hesitation when he smirked and leaned slightly forward as his brightened gaze wandered through your face, deliberately taking in your beautiful, serene expression.
He was offering you such a breathtaking visage, his demeanor finally at ease, yet magnetically pulling you to react to an unspokenly demand.
His lips were covered with a layer of his drink from the last sip, gleaming under the dim light that hovered you both, taunting your need of having them pressed on yours. His iris slightly dilated as they followed the movements of your eyelashes fluttering open and close in a slow dance, just to drift back to your lipstick colored lips, as if silently asking you for a kiss.
As if automatically, your faces began to slowly lean closer, breaths blending together with a mix of alcohol from your side and a strawberry flavor from Heesegunโs.ย
But just as quickly as the atmosphere shifted into something more charged, it disappeared, as a waiter suddenly appeared to serve the dessert you had ordered. Embarrassed, you both pulled back briefly, sharing a subtle laugh and looked up to acknowledge the waiter, but Heeseung immediately cut in.
โThankโโ
โThat canโt be real.โ
A sharp pang in your stomach, your heart racing, and your throat immediately drying out. These were the initial reactions, before your hands began to tremble and a rush of heat spread through your body, making you feel utterly reactive.
โBrendon?โ You whispered, disbelief making your voice shake as you processed that, after a year, you were seeing him during a sweet evening with Heeseung.
You had done everything to avoid him, taking every precaution to keep him out of your life,ย even deleting your social media, afraid of what he might do. There had never been a physical threat, but after the breakup, you feared he might become volatile, wanting to take his anger out on you.
Thankfully, none of your friends had ever known about him, and you had never bothered to find out about him either.
But now, here he was, standing right in front of you two, his expression in complete disdain, his eyes seething with fury.
โYou piece of shit,โ was the first thing he spat out, as he saw the situation unfold โ his ex-wife, now with what he considered his former friend. Betrayal.
You didnโt even notice how tightly he gripped the metal tray at his side. You also didnโt realize that Heeseung, who had been sitting at the edge of the couch, had already risen to his feet, his hands clenched into fists, his jaw clenched, and his eyes burning with rage.
He was ready to strike.
โSo, it was for him that you left me, you whore?โ
He barely managed to finish the slur because Heeseung moved too quickly. The collective gasp from the surrounding people was what made you realize exactly what had just happened.
You saw Heeseung throw a powerful punch, landing accurately on Brendon's face. Brendon staggered back, dropping the metal tray before quickly retaliating with a weak jab to Heeseungโs cheek.
Heeseungโs expression hardened after a stunned moment in place, processing the impact that got the area tingling, but the subsequent pain was far from being his main concern.
He smirked dryly and then grabbed Brendon by the shoulders to shove him back with force, sending him crashing into a nearby chair. Brendon struggled to regain his footing, but Heeseung advanced, his eyes burning with rage, and with a swift move, he knocked Brendon to the ground with another punch, leaving him unable to fight back.
The men around you quickly rushed in, trying to break up the fight. But you didnโt care about them, you shoved anyone who tried to intervene, the ones attempting to cling to Heeseung, trying to drag him back, or at least seeking comfort in the chaos that was unraveling within you.
โHeeโโ
Your weak, tearful voice was cut off. Heeseung instinctively wrapped his arms around you in a protective embrace, not even realizing what he was doing as he pointed a finger at Brendon, who had managed to get back on his feet with help from the others.
โShut the fuck up before you say a word about Y/N, you piece of shit,โ he growled, his vision distorted by the boiling rage in his chest. He had been waiting for this moment from the very beginning, the moment to unleash all his frustration, all the hatred he had toward that man. โYouโre useless. A worthless bastard who couldnโt recognize the fucking queen you had in your life.โ
Heeseungโs large hands tightened around your waist, almost unconsciously, his chest rising and falling rapidly against your face as it pressed into him. Tears slowly started to coat your cheeks, your trembling body finding support in Heeseungโs tensed one.
โI hope you fucking burn in hell and get torn apart in the worst way. You donโt deserve a single ounce of the love Y/N gave you, and you had the fucking audacity to cheat on her.โ
Brendon spat out blood, his lip split from Heeseungโs earlier punch. He smirked sarcastically, looking around the crowd that watched the scene.
โShe cheated on me too,โ he muttered, his voice weak but laced with venom.
Heeseung scoffed, almost rolling his eyes and nearly advancing on Brendon again; you felt the sudden attempt that immediately stopped when you whispered a quiet, hurtful โNoโฆโย
You looked up, your eyes glossy with tears, finding Heeseungโs now worried ones. He softened before your pouty, scared expression.
He caressed your face tenderly, holding you closer as a way to keep you under his protection, although he knew Brendon wouldnโt have the guts to try anything else. After, he drove his attention back to the asshole standing weakly in front of him.ย
โYou didnโt even have the decency to give her the bare minimum, you worthless cunt,โ he spat, words full of rage. โLet alone decent fucking sex. Of course she would cheat on you.โ
That triggered a jolt from Brendon to charge at Heeseung, but it was quickly stopped by those holding him back, his ego riled up by the insult.
Heeseung let out a humorless laugh. โShe searched out for someone who could give her what she truly deserves,โ he said, his gaze shifting to you. His expression softened into a gentle smile, one that was genuine but sharp in contrast to the situation. โAnd if she'll allow me, Iโll keep being that man for her.โ
Your eyes widened at his abrupt and sincere confession. Heeseung didnโt expect a response, honestly, so he turned his attention back to Brendon, his warning clear in every word.
โGet near her again, and Iโll make sure thereโs no one around to stop you from getting your ass kicked, you little shit.โ
He began pulling you towards the exit of the restaurant, but as he passed Brendon, he leaned in close to murmur just loud enough for him to hear.
โJust so you know, she cheated on you long after you didโฆ And, oh, Iโm sure you donโt know that, but she looks fucking gorgeous when she's squirting.โ
Until you settled into the passenger seat of Heeseungโs car, everything felt like a blur, robbing you of the awareness to even notice he had paid for dinner before driving off. His voice had broken through just once, a soft โAre you okay?โ before he retreated into an oppressive silence.
At first, you welcomed the break from words, needing time to process the storm of emotions swirling inside you. There was anger, because Brendon had crashed your date. Sadness, for having to relive that chapter of your life all over again. Gratitude, since Heeseung had defended you without hesitation. And then... there was desire, because he had looked absurdly damn good while doing it.
God dammit, you cursed silently in your head, shrinking into your seat and glancing away from Heeseung. You felt like a teenager stealing glances at a crush and pretending you werenโt staring when caught.
Worse, you felt like a dog in heat, your thoughts obsessing over how ridiculously attractive he was. His clenched jaw, hands tightening and relaxing on the steering wheel in an effort to calm himself, the slight cut on his lip, and the faint bruise forming on his cheek โ likely from a ring Brendon had been wearing โ all combined to give him an effortlessly rugged, devastating appeal.
The wound wasnโt deep, nothing to be overly concerned about, but it added an edge to his already striking features. You knew you would take care of it the moment you got to his apartment, but until then, you had to deal with the mixture of lust and a bunch of other things bubbling in your core.
Heeseung, however, was a bit different from you.
Seeing you so broken and tearful had hit him like a bullet to the chest. He never wanted the night to end like this, but there was no regret in the brutal way he had taken out his frustration on Brendon.
Heeseungโs mind raced, tangled with worry and anticipation over how you would react once the adrenaline wore off and you were in a comfortable space to properly talk things through.
He couldnโt get a read on you โ not only because his eyes were mostly fixed on the road, but because you kept stealing glances at him and quickly looking away whenever he dared to glance back. Your behavior gave him no clear hint of what was truly going through your mind.
A flicker of anxiety sparked within him. Maybe you were nervous โ possibly even considering ditching him altogether and ending whatever it was between you before it could truly begin. The mere thought gnawed at him, amplifying his own anxiety.
The fact that you had suggested going to his apartment instead of your own had caught him off guard. It was enough to confuse him even more, given the contrast with your otherwise unreadable demeanor.
Still, he opted to keep the quietness over the air, since he needed a time to think deeply about his actions.ย
He acted out of impulse, for sure, but he wanted to make sure you understood he had absolutely no regrets and he would do it again, and again, and again.
To protect your integrity, he would settle a war if necessary.ย
The moment you two reached the place you had visited once before, a sense of an odd nostalgia crept up your spine. Without even realizing it, you were both walking towards the elevator directed to Heeseungโs apartmentโs floor.ย
Your eyes were glued on your feet as a way to hide your fluster, struggling to fight the urge of jumping into that handsome man standing on your side. Your head was spinning with the most lascivious, filthy thoughts about how you would kneel right at that moment and give Heeseung the head of his life in order to pay back his earlier demeanor.
So. Fucking. Hot.
And contrastingly enough, there was Heeseung, frustrated with himself for making you witness such violent acts.ย
He leaned his back and head against the cold metal walls of the elevator, eyes closing as a shaky breath escaped his lips. After a long moment, he finally spoke, carrying off a guilt you didnโt understand at first.
โI'm sorry you had to go through that,โ he said, his voice gentle, yet filled with regret. You turned to face him, catching the movement of his beautiful neck exposed for you. You gulped. โIโm sorry you had to witness all of that. And Iโm sorry for being a bit of a dick at the end... I got carried away.โ He then opened his eyes to look at you, his expression almost vulnerable, his cheeks with a faint blush exposing his embarrassment. โI didnโt mean to objectify yโโ
Before he could finish, you cut him off, practically throwing yourself into his body to attach your mouths together. Your lips collided with his bruised ones in a kiss that tasted of longing, and something metallic, like blood, and your fingers crawled their way towards his nape.ย
Heeseung let out a pained groan, but didnโt stop you at all. Actually, he held you by the waist to press your chest on his torso.ย
However, you immediately pulled back, your eyes wide with worry as your hands held his face delicately.ย
โOh my God. Iโm so sorry, Heeโฆโ you gasped, looking at him in alarm.
He chuckled, the sound deep, sensual, and made your heart flutter despite your current state of concern.
โYou're good,โ he said, shaking his head slightly with a teasing grin adorning his features. He didnโt care about any pain if that meant having your tongue swirling with his in that addictive motion he once got to try.ย
With a tilt of head, he murmured. โCome here, mhm?โ
โBut your lipโโ you tried to counter his words, but Heeseungโs hands seemed unwilling to let you go so easily.
โShh,โ he shushed softly, pressing a tender kiss against your lips. โI heard kisses heal wounds.โ
A giggle escaped you, light and fleeting, before it melted into the moment, swept away by the kiss that happened subsequently. It began slowly, unhurried, as if both of you were savoring every second together.
His lips moved against yours with a sensual, deliberate rhythm, one that carried not just desire but something deeper โ affection, yearning, a tenderness that spoke volumes.
It was as if Heeseung feared breaking you with his touch, or perhaps losing you altogether. You could feel it in the way his hands cradled your face, in the way his thumbs brushed softly against your skin. And you, in return, clung to him like he was your lifeline, your own quiet fear mirrored in the way your fingers twisted in his hair, anchoring yourself to him.
The metallic tang of blood on his lips barely registered; it was overshadowed by the warmth and electricity of the moment. His tongue traced the shape of your lips, a gentle request you didnโt hesitate to grant, allowing him to deepen the kiss.
His tongue caressed yours with a languid, intoxicating ease, exploring, coaxing, as if he wanted to memorize the taste of you.
Your breath hitched, heart racing in a chaotic rhythm that matched the way his hand slid down your side, fingers possessively holding your waist, as the air grew heavier within each passing second. You wondered for a moment when would the elevator stop, barely noticing the opened door.ย
Heeseung broke the kiss briefly and realized the open door, his forehead resting against yours, his breath warm and shallow as it mingled with your own.
โInside,โ he rasped simply, tone dropping an octave, thick with desire that dripped from his beautiful swollen lips.ย
You nodded, unaware of what exactly he meant, leaving the mission of being guided completely at his hands as you pulled him back into another kiss, this time urgent and rushed.ย
Heeseung frowned and moaned against your mouth, the collision of his bruised area stirring his thristness, awakening his most profound hunger for you; elicited an immediate reaction that got him stumbling with his own legs as you pushed him into his apartment.
A fleeting moment of clarity pierced through the haze in your mind as Heeseung groaned in pain once again, this time caused by your teeth accidentally grazing his injured lip in the heat of the moment.
โHeeโโ you murmured, trying to pull back from the kiss, but he didnโt let you go easily. Only when you gently pushed against his chest did he finally retract, his dark eyes clouded with lust as they bore into yours.
โLet me take care of this first, please?โ You whispered, your voice tinged with a teasing whine, paired with the kind of faux-innocent eyes that made him melt on the spot.
His firm resolve faltered instantly, and his temptation only seemed to deepen because of that very expression.
With a faint smirk, Heeseung pressed one last lingering kiss to your lips before stepping away. He disappeared into the bathroom to grab a first-aid kit, leaving you standing alone in the middle of the living room with your heart still hammering.
He wasnโt gone for long, but by the time he returned, you had already settled yourself on the sofa. Without a word, he joined you, sitting close by as you carefully tended to his wound.
A sharp hiss escaped his lips as the antiseptic made contact, and you couldnโt help but smile faintly, murmuring a soft apology.
His gaze never wavered from you, watching with an almost disarming tenderness, his large hand resting casually on your thigh as if to ground himself.
And when you finished, you lingered, your eyes tracing his features. Damn it, how did this man manage to look impossibly hotter even when roughed up?
โStop looking at me with those eyes,โ Heeseung broke the silence, his voice dropping to a low, teasing drawl.
Your gaze, which had shamelessly held contact on his lips โ not because of the injury, but because you craved them โ snapped up to meet him properly.
โWhat eyes?โ you challenged softly, your voice laced with subtle mischief that matched nothing with your small pout and frown.ย
Heeseungโs hand shifted from your thigh to your jaw, his touch firm and gentle as he tilted your face closer to his.
โLike you want me to fuck you,โ he murmured, his words hitting like a jolt of euphoria.ย
A sly smile crept onto your lips, your eyelids growing heavier as the air between you thickened with tension. โYou know that I do,โ you replied, biting your bottom lip as your fingers traced a slow, invisible pattern over his chest.
A thought crossed your mind, bold and unbidden, and you let it spill.
โYโknow, last time I came to your apartmentโฆโ
โYeah?โ Heeseung prompted, his voice soft but loaded, his hands effortlessly guiding you to settle in his lap. You obliged with a grace that didnโt break the magnetic pull of your eyes locked on his, though they flickered occasionally to his kiss-bruised lips.
โI couldnโt stop thinking about you, Hee.โ
His lips curved into a soft smile, relief flickering across his features as your words unintentionally reassured him in ways you couldnโt have known he needed. His hands traced a comforting path along your hips, keeping you steady in his lap.
โIโm glad to hear that, darling.โ
The term of endearment may have been simple to anyone else, but to you, it meant so much more. It sent your heart stumbling over its rhythm, your body instinctively leaning closer to his warmth. It made your breath hitch, especially when he leaned in as well, his words brushing against your lips like a gentle breeze.
โLet me remind you what you deserve,โ his tone was intoxicatingly soft yet laced with a darker edge that tempted you to fall head-first into it. โHow does that sound?โ
Your lips quirked into a smirk as you cupped his face with deliberate tenderness, careful to avoid hurting him further.
โI know what I deserve, Hee,โ you shot back, your voice daring as you teased his lips with a featherlight graze of your own. โAnd I also know what I want.โ
Heeseungโs jaw clenched as he teetered on the edge of self-control, your provocations pushing him closer to the brink. But he played along, matching your game, because he loved your game.
โAnd what do you want, darling?โ He asked back, a question that was dripping with anticipation.
Your eyes softened briefly with a mix of affection and unrelenting desire before you let the fire in your gaze take over.
Well, I hope you know how proud I am you were created.
Summary: Ever since you rejected Jungwon's feelings back in high school, he swore to his life that he'll make you regret it by beating you at every competition that he can possibly see โ and you're not one to back down either
Four years into college and your unwavering rivalry with Jungwon never stopped and it's leading you to insanity, wondering if this is a battle of one's wit or pride, or just a pay back for breaking your best friend's heart.
โฐ Song inspiration: Hope Ur Ok by Olivia Rodrigo, Colossal Loss by Niki, Teenage Dream by Olivia Rodrigo
โฐ Word Count: 22.6k
โฐ Tags: Childhood friends to best friends to academic rivals to lovers or enemies? Or a third thing? We donโt know, infuriating angst, miscommunications? no communications at all, hurt no comfort, denial of feelings, betrayal, a bit of fluff ig, smut! cursing and banters, college setting, classmates, bands, house parties (jungwon had the party 4 u moment), Yang Jungwon is in a band (and heโs a petty asshole,) reader is also petty (also has pent-up feelings for Jungwon). They were young and immature, let them slide, mentions of enhypen members, mentions of kpop idols, oc characters. Minju as your best friend. Open ending.
โฐ CW: smut! Plot with little porn, unprotected sex (pls donโt) oral (f receiving), clothed sex, dom! Jungwon, sub! Reader, nipple/breast play, degradation, dacryphilia, implied somnophilia.
โฐ Asulโs note: fifth installment of arcanum series!! FINALLY Jungwonโs story is here! I know you guys are waiting for this one, and I hope you guys enjoy this one. I didnโt hold back with the angst in this one so yeah. Also shitty smut ahead, Iโm not great with the degradation and mean stuff lol. Inaacuracies once again, and not proofread enough, but enjoy it though.
Also if you have read Heeseungโs story, his gf is also the reader, but I gave her a name here in Jungwon's story since she has a huge role in this one lol. (Theyโre still considered as y/n in their own story.)
You can check the other member's stories here: Jay | Sunghoon | Heeseung | Jake
The classroom was filled with noises. Bustling whispers and groans as the midterm papers are being returned by their professor. The woman in front, Atty. Yoon has a small smile on her lips as she hands out the papers one by one.ย
โCongratulations Jungwon! Youโve got a perfect score,โ a round of applause filled the classroom. All eyes were on Jungwon who had a small smile as he accepted his paper from the midterm exams.ย
As Jungwon sat on his chair, he quietly observed his answers after not seeing it for a week. It wasn't his best arguments but it still got him a perfect score, he doesnโt have the right to complain about whether he couldโve done better.ย
โY/n, perfect score too, congratulations!โ his head lifted immediately as soon as your name was called. Jungwon watches you stand up from your seat and walk towards the teacherโs table. You mouthed your thanks to your professor before going back towards your seat โ catching the way Jungwon was staring at you, and giving him an eye roll before sitting.ย
You began rereading your paper. Seeing the small comments and remarks from your professor made your smile even wider. The perfect score was just a small thing, but hearing feedback from your professor was a different praise for your intelligence.ย
After returning all the papers. Atty. Yoon began her lecture. The class fell into silence, unable to ask their peers their results. You listened to her diligently as you wrote down notes and observations from her lectures, until the clock strikes at three-thirty.
โOkay! Thatโs all for today, remember to pass your activities tomorrow and โ oh! May I request those who got a score of ninety-five and above to approach me? Class dismissed.โ she smiled as she watched her students scramble from their seats.
You stood up from your seat, walking straight towards the teacherโs table along with some classmates of yours โ including Jungwon, who only gave you a small glance.ย
โThe Supreme court is opening their office for interns this year, but only one will be given to this section since limited slots will be open,โ the professor explained, looking at each student one by one.ย
โThis isnโt mandatory but it will be a great experience. I am giving you all the opportunity to apply for it. Itโll be open next month, just wait for my further announcement, but for now, think about it and its merit on your futureโ with that, she grabs her things, smiling at them as she bids, โthat would be all, goodbye!โ
As she exited the classroom, your classmates were surprised by the news, they began conversing about the internship while youโre still sinking in the news.ย
An internship in the supreme court? Itโs a great starter to know more about the court trials and hearing of laws. โ itโs not just a great opportunity, it might be a stepping stone for your future as a lawyer.
โYouโre going to try?โ you turned to your classmate who you only replied with a smile.ย
โOf course she will! Y/n, I think youโll be a great candidate for it!โ another one complimented, and you only chuckled.
โI do think itโs a great opportunity,โ you simply answered, not missing the way Jungwon glanced at you.ย
โWhat about you Jungwon? Youโre going to try?โ someone asked, and Jungwon didnโt say a word for a moment.ย
โIโll think about it,โ Jungwon replied, glancing at you whoโs smile faded. โI might be busy with Arcanum too.โ
โOh really? But I bet you can multitask it, youโre not Yang Jungwon for nothing!โย
As soon as their attention shifted on Jungwon, you excused yourself and returned to your seat. A thinned line formed on your lips as you grabbed your bag when you felt a presence approaching you.ย
โYou seem relieved,โ Jungwon stated. โThat Iโll think about it.โ
โWhat makes you think that Iโm relieved? Itโs like youโre saying Iโm scared that you might steal the slot from me.โ
โYour words, not mine,โ Jungwon nonchalantly shrugged.ย
โBecause I know you Jungwon, your โIโll think about itโ will just take a day and youโre going to do it eventually,โ you sassed.
โAnd I know you y/n, this opportunity is a great kick for your law school essays,โ Jungwon smirked at you as he reached his hand. โMay the best student win.โ
โFuck off Jungwon,โ you snarled at him, glaring before leaving the classroom. The heavy feeling in your heart followed you not long after as you exited your department building.ย
You and Jungwon used to be two peas in a pod. Growing up in the same neighborhood, you two became close the moment your parents knocked on the doors of the Yang residence and introduced themselves.ย
You remember five year old Jungwon peeking behind his mother while his older sister was just right beside him. He quickly introduced himself to you, smiling despite lacking one upper front tooth, and inviting you if you want to play their wii station.
From there, you and Jungwon grew up together along with Jiwon. You assumed that youโll be closer with Jiwon, playing dress-ups and dolls, but Jungwon always makes sure that youโll get to play with him โ which resulted in the two of you becoming best friends. He always clings to you, talks to you with the most random thoughts which usually catch you off-guard, and gives you the most random things just because it reminds him of you.ย
Your friendship with Jungwon didnโt stop when you returned to your original address during high school. You know that texts and chats wonโt suffice, thatโs why you begged your parents to continue your study at Decelis Universityโs high school department because you know that Jungwon is there โ and you donโt want to be separated from him.ย
With the condition of maintaining good grades, your parents allowed you to study there. During high school, you and Jungwon were considered as a genius duo. Always on the top two of the whole department, but none of you see it as a rivalry. Itโs more of a support to each other. He helps you with math and science, while you help him in history and language.
You two spend most of the time studying, frequently in his house or sometimes in a random coffee shop. It was tranquil, and you loved every moment with Jungwon. You considered him as your bestest friend, and you were looking forward to continuing it during college especially when both of you got accepted into Decelis University.ย
Then came your high school graduation. That moment was supposed to be a celebration for both of you. You were ranked second while Jungwonโs the valedictorian of the batch. Everything felt so right, not until Jungwon asked you for a favor.
โWhat are we doing here Jungwon?โ you asked. The hallways were empty, students were inside the small convention hall of Decelis, lining up for the ceremony. Your parents will be here any moment and so are his, but Jungwon asked to accompany him โ having to get something in their locker.ย
Thatโs how you two ended up inside your empty classroom, you stood there while Jungwon fiddled his locker. Opening it, grabbing something, and then as he faces you. Jungwon looks so nervous and youโre confused, never in your life would you see your best friend this nervous.ย
โIโm going straight to the point but I like you y/n, not as a best friend, but as a woman,โ he confessed boldly. He then stretches his arms, showing you the object that he was holding: a small white paper bag with a delicate blue ribbon wrapped on the side. You eyed the logo of the paper bag and knew that it was an expensive jewelry brand.ย
โJungwon โโ you stopped. Words couldnโt get out of your mouth. Your heart starts beating fast because you donโt know what to say. You were flustered โ surprised on top of that. You didnโt expect Jungwon to boldly confess to you.
You didnโt expect that Jungwon has feelings for you, or maybe heโs not subtle and youโre just too oblivious about it. Thatโs why you stood there frozen as you tried to stitch some words to say to Jungwon.ย
โIโm sorry Wonwonโฆโ you managed to stutter. โBut I canโt accept your feelings โ my parents, they told me to focus on my studies first. They think relationships will just be a distraction.โ
As those words fell from your mouth, Jungwon felt his ears ringing. Heart dropping as he slowly brings back the paperbag he was holding. He couldnโt believe what you just said to him.
Bullshit. Jungwon called it bullshit. He can feel his heart shattering into thousands of pieces as he processes every damn word that you said. You watched as the hopeful look on Jungwonโs face distorted in a confusion then slowly, his face became bitter and betrayed.ย
โI see how it is,โ Jungwon bitterly laughs. โReally? Thatโs your reason? Alright, if thatโs really your reason then prove it to me.โ
Your forehead creased at his words, confused by Jungwonโs reaction. โProve it to you โ Jungwon, what are you talking about?โ
โProve it to me, show me that your reason really is the truth and now just some excuse,โ Jungwon challenged.
ย โAre you seriously throwing away our friendship just because I rejected you?โ you couldnโt believe it. Years of friendship all crumbled down just because you couldnโt reciprocate your feelings to him.ย
โYour reason is shallow y/n,โ he pointed out instead. Thatโs when you realized that the Jungwon in front of you isnโt your best friend anymore. That the Jungwon in front of you was a guy who you just rejected but couldnโt accept.
You scoffed in disbelief, โshallow!? Youโre the one who couldnโt accept that I rejected you!โ
โAnd youโre going to regret rejecting me.โ Jungwon warned with a serious tone. โPrioritizing studies? You think Iโm going to believe that?โ
โThink whatever you want Jungwon,โ you snarled at him. โWeโre done, I donโt want to be friends with you anymore.โ
โOh no, weโre not done yet,โ Jungwon smirks at you. โWeโre just getting started.โ
Your years of friendship with Jungwon vanished that day. Ever since that day, Jungwon looks at you like a competition that he needs to beat โ and he sticks true to his words.ย
You know how petty Jungwon can be. But you didnโt realise that he was that petty and prideful enough to challenge you. It even led him to transferring to the same college program as you which is legal management. You were surprised to see him in your classroom on the first day of class. You thought that heโll stick with Physical Therapy but he chose the same program as yours just so he can prove to you that heโs serious about his words.
You werenโt going to take it seriously, but when the first debate was exchanged between the two of you a week into your freshman year, you decided to play along with his games.
It wasnโt those typical, my grades are higher than you so suck it up! type of rivalry. Both of you are equally intelligent, gpa and grades are always 1 never falling under 2. Jungwon doesnโt care if you aced an exam and he got three mistakes. What he cares about is competing with you at anything that will be worth your pride and academics.ย
Recitations, rankings, organizations and contests. Those are his targets. If you joined a club, heโs joining it too. If youโre joining a contest, heโs joining it too. Heโll argue with you at every chance he could get, he doesnโt care if it ends up illogical, all he wants to see is the pissed expression on your face as he never stops rebutting all your arguments.
The tallies of the winner and losers are always equal because youโre not one to back down either. Youโre not going to let him win. After ruining your friendship, you want Jungwon to regret ruining his friendship with you.
No one was tallying but the first one to quit loses, and so far, no one has ever forfeited. Both of you are fueled with pride and intelligence, eager to prove the other party that theyโre wrong. Everyone knows that tension between the two of you. Some are wary of it, but others brush it off, thinking that itโs just a stupid college rivalry โ not knowing the history you two had.
The only thing that Jungwon didnโt join was the Decelis Publications because for once, he admits that heโs not that creative when it comes to writing articles. Heโs not going to burn his creative juices in that area, so instead, he ventured on other things โ which is joining a band.ย
During his freshman year, Jungwon was roped into joining a university band along with three of his seniors. Arcanum was created and they became widely popular during their years in Decelis. Jungwon was their drummer and it didnโt surprise you since Jungwon has always loved playing drums ever since he was a kid.ย
So while heโs out there making noise as a band member, you find peace in Decelis Publications. An area that only you can touch. A place where there is no Yang Jungwon breathing against your neck and you can move on your own. Everything about it was worth it especially when you were appointed as the paperโs Editor-in-Chief in your last year in college.ย
โExcuse me, you want me to do what?โ you repeated, an offended look on your face was written.ย
โNot me, it was Maโam Jo, she wants you to do an exclusive interview with Jungwon,โ Minju, your best friend slash assistant editor of the publication repeated.
โI know Minju, but โ are you serious!?โ you whisper-shouted but Minju could only give you a knowing look. She knows about your rivalry with Jungwon, and she knows how much you hate that boy but the order came from the paperโs adviser.ย
No way. Thereโs no fucking way. You already interviewed Arcanum back then during the year-end concert. Why do the publications need to write an article about them โ specifically Yang Jungwon.
โListen, theyโre popular now, theyโre going to go mainstream especially when theyโre gearing up for their debut single, every eyes is on them, and Jungwon, being the youngest and still in college, managed to multitask his studies and playing in a band, heโs the pride of Decelis at the moment.โ Minju explains calmly.
โWouldnโt that offend the other members who just happen to be ahead of him? Isnโt it better to just interview the whole group since all of them are from Decelis?โ you justified, and Minju nods in agreement.ย
โYou just donโt want to interview Jungwon alone, donโt you?โ Minju laughs, making you roll your eyes.
โYou know me Minju,โ itโs the only thing you could say.ย
โThen, tell that to Maโam Jo, Iโll think sheโll understand your reason,โ your best friend suggested.
โShe should or else Iโll have you interview them,โ you threatened, leaving the club room with Minju laughing at your remark.ย
The walk towards the faculty room was short. Knocking on the door, all heads turned as you gave the teachers inside a smile and small greeting before approaching your adviser who focused on her laptop.ย
โYes, y/n what is it dear?โ Miss Jo brightly asked, beaming at you.ย
โMaโam, regarding your request to interview Yang Jungwon,โ you started.
She seems delighted with your words, โyes! What about it?โ
โWhy is he the focus of our article just because heโs still a Decelis student? Wouldnโt that be unfair for the other members of the band? They only graduated last year too,โ you explained.
Miss Jo hums for a second, nodding as she seems to understand your sentiments. โWell, I only suggested Jungwon because heโll be easier to be reached unlike the other three โ unless you have connections with them? My original plan was to cover their whole journey. Starting from being a university band up to where they are now. Iโm a bit intimidated to reach the others, thatโs why I only suggested Jungwon.โ
โThatโs a lot Maโam,โ you commented shortly.
โYes, itโs a bit hectic too, that's why I suggested that you handle it, and just ask Jungwon a short interview โ unless you know how to reach the whole band.โ
โI can do that, I just want to ask for the deadline,โ you asked, hoping that it wonโt clash with the internship. You know that you can multitask but at the same time, priorities should also be ranked, and the internship is a huge deal for you.
โItโs up to you, just be there during their release of their single debut and their showcase, weโll put them in the paperโs front page and weโll post them on the universityโs official page,โ she explains.ย
โThat seems to be a lot of work,โ you mindlessly commented.ย
โDonโt worry, Iโll ask for merit points on your extracurriculars, howโs that sound?โ she suggested.
โDeal,โ you said without any hesitation.ย
As you exit the office, you lightly skip your way back towards the club room. Itโll be an easy task, you know someone whoโs close to Arcanum and is willing to set up an interview with them. Thereโs no need to go through Jungwon because you know that heโll immediately reject your request for the interview.ย
Good for him though, you donโt have any plans of involving him on your plan too.
-
The daycare center across the street of Decelis University was filled with noises and kids running on the playground. The afternoonโs windy and cool with dark gray clouds filling the place and yet, it didnโt bother you as you went inside one of the classrooms where she was waiting for you.
โOf course babe! When do you need it?โ the older girl said with a smile. You watch as she cleans each table of her students, while youโre following her from behind.ย
Yang Jiwon โ Jungwonโs older sister, has known Arcanum for years. The Yang residence used to be the bandโs spot for practices during their college days and Jiwon had witnessed Arcanum starting from their humble beginnings.
When you and Jungwon broke up your friendship, Jiwon was the first person you ran into โ despite knowing that Jungwon probably had run into her too. Jiwon was both your middle ground and pacifier. She fully understands both sides and instead of interfering, she lets you two play around the rivalry โ hoping that one day, you two fully understand that you two have been dancing around your feelings instead of properly communicating.
Jiwon is still a close friend of yours. You were also there to witness her college love story that revolved around her delusional crush with Arcanumโs vocalist and how they eventually became a couple โ which leads to where you are right now.ย
โAs soon as possible, is it a busy week for them?โ you asked.ย
โJust a couple of gigs, and band practices as far as I know, Iโll ask Hee,โ Jiwon hums. โYou know I was going to ask you why you approached me in reaching out for Arcanum when Jungwonโs there, but then again, never mind.โ
You ignored the older girlโs teasing tone, rolling your eyes as you darted your attention somewhere else. โHe wonโt agree to it even if I approach him first.โ
โHey, why would he reject it? You know itโs big news that Decelis will cover their showcase, itโs rare for universities to support their students โ itโs good exposure too, itโll benefit both of you,โ Jiwon pointed out.ย
โBecause Iโm writing it, itโs going to be under Decelis publications, which is being handled by me,โ you explained.ย
โYou and Jungwonโs rivalry,โ Jiwon could only breathe. โSeriously, itโs been four years, you two arenโt going to call it quits? Have you ever thought of just giving up and properly explaining it to him? I graduated, got a job, and everything and you two are still fighitng.โ
โYeah, I think we both would rather die than properly communicate,โ you shrugged, making Jiwon let out a sigh before grabbing her bag, and the two of you exit the classroom.
โWhat am I going to do to make you two go back to being friends,โ she murmured, massaging her temples like itโs stressing her out.
โNothing at all, so donโt worry about us,โ you smiled, but the older girl didnโt buy it.ย
โIโm just scared y/n, that things might go too far,โ Jiwon sincerely said.
You only laughed at her worries, โit wonโt. Itโs just an academic rivalry, plus I like the competition.โ
โEnough to outweigh your feelings for him?โ
You didnโt answer Jiwon. The whole minute of awkward silence was enough for her to not pry further and just continue walking. She knows that youโre holding back your feelings because of its irony. Up to this point you still wonโt accept the fact that you had developed feelings for Jungwon even though heโs a jerk and ruined your friendship.ย
Jiwon knows your conflict and the only way to fix it is to tell Jungwon the truth but your pride says otherwise โ thereโs no use when you know that Jungwon doesnโt see you that way anymore.ย
-
A week later, Jungwon approaches you. Heโs not even near your vicinity and yet youโre already aware of him and his intention to ruin your Monday.
โAn interview with Arcanum, thatโs so sweet of you, you know?โ he coos and you only let out a gruntled sound.
โDid Jiwon tell you that?โ you asked, not even raising your head to look at him.
โNot noona, but Heeseung-hyung did,โ Jungwon pointed out, and that makes sense to you too. Jiwon had informed you that she had passed the message to her boyfriend, they agreed but last week they were swarmed with gigs, that's why they werenโt able to meet you. โWhich hurts me because you know Iโll agree if you asked me to interview us.โ
โI donโt want you shoving it to me that you did me a favor.โ you justified. The last thing that you want is to be in debt to Jungwon.ย
โHow about we drop that act and be professional on this one?โ he offered, and thatโs when you raised your hand. Glancing at him who only stood there with a small smile on his lips.
โProfessional โ youโre shitting yourself Jungwon? Since when did you even become professional with everything that involves me,โ you mocked.
โDonโt you want it? Iโm lowering myself down for you.โ
โI donโt need you to.โ
โI want to,โ Jungwon insisted, his tone becoming serious. โHow about this, youโll get the full inside scoop of Arcanumโs preparation for our debut, even a free media pass for our showcase, but you have to make sure that itโll give us good publicity.โ
โWhatโs in for me?โ you quickly interjected.
โIโm not going to participate in the internship,โ Jungwon boldly said, and that made you raise an eyebrow. โIโll be busy with Arcanum, our schedule and bookings are full by the end of the year, I might not be able to balance a heavy internship.โ
โYou really mean it?โ you asked. You donโt know why but you felt something odd with Jungwon approaching you all of the sudden and striking a deal with you โ like he didnโt just tell you, โmay the best student wins.โ last week. Itโs like he has a deeper intention than what he proposed to you.ย
โIt wonโt even benefit me, itโs not like Iโm going to continue taking law,โ he casually shrugs. Right. You did remember that legal management wasnโt even his choice of career. โDo you even want it or not?โ
โFine,โ you said in defeat, itโs not like youโll immediately get the slot, but since Jungwonโs forfeiting it meant less competitors for you.
You raised your pinky finger and Jungwon only stared at it for a minute.
โWhat are you twelve?โ he mocks.
โYou know I take pinky promises Won,โ you told him. โIf you really mean it, swear it on me.โ
Jungwon heaves out a sigh before intertwining his pinky finger on yours and touching your thumb with his thumb to secure the deal. As you broke out from his touch, you only gave him a small glare.
โKeep your promises Won,โ you told him.
โWhen did I even break my promise?โ he said, and you didnโt rebut because you know it yourself that Yang Jungwon doesnโt break promises.ย
-
You had prepared yourself for meeting Arcanum. Listening to their old songs, and asking Jiwon for some information about them. You wanted to make sure that you have a deep knowledge about the group before properly interviewing them.
Jungwon told you that heโll let you know when the interview will be, but the following days there has been a radio silence. Classes continued. Quizzes, recitations, and small debates that always had your section witnessing your endless banters with Jungwon occured.
The internship for the Supreme Court was also posted on board, and it seems like the slots really are limited this time โ only five and thatโs for the whole one-hundred and fifty senior students under your program. Atty. Yoon had handed the requirements and while you had spare time, you completed everything thatโs needed.
โLetโs go,โ Jungwon said one fine Wednesday afternoon, startling you whoโs still sitting in the chair.ย
โDonโt scare me like that,โ you snarled at him.
โCome on now, you said you want a glimpse right? Youโll be joining us at our practice tonight,โ Jungwon explains and that only made you roll your eyes.ย
โFine, just a minute โโ
โFaster, I donโt want to be stuck in the rush hour โโ
โDamn it Jungwon, just wait!โ you shouted at him who only had a teasing smile on his lips. He crossed his arms as you hurriedly shoved everything inside your bag before carrying it on your shoulder.
God you wonder how youโll be able to spend the remaining day without Jungwon taunting you. Youโll probably go nuts before the article ends.ย
You followed Jungwon towards the parking lot where a familiar red car is parked. You know that car, you remember the first time Jungwon drove it and how you two almost ran over a cat crossing the street. Both of you were so traumatized that he didnโt drive it for a whole week โ and he managed to overcome it when you stayed late at night in their place one time, and he offered to drive you back to your house instead of booking a car.
You hate how nostalgia is rushing through your mind especially when things arenโt the way it was before then. A bitter smile escapes your lips as you step inside the car. Everything is the same, even that nose-prickling strawberry scent is still there.ย
Jungwon didnโt teased further, he only opened the bluetooth speaker and played a song on shuffle before he drove away from the university in silence. Daydream Records โ the label that took them in was thirty minutes away from Decelis, with additional ten minutes due to the rush hour traffic, you and Jungwon arrived at the building before the sun had set.
โWhat do you even want to know about us,โ Jungwon asked the moment you two entered the elevator. โWeโre barely starting with our career.โ
โEveryoneโs eyeing on your debut,โ you only said leaning against the wall. โStop being so humble, you know it yourself that Arcanum is getting popular.โ
The elevator stopped and Jungwon exited first while you only followed him. Turning towards the right hallway before going inside a door. He opens the door without any hesitation and soft strums of keyboard welcome you.ย
โHi guys,โ Jungwon greeted casually.ย
โHey โโ Heeseung wasnโt able to finish his sentence when his eyes darted on you.
โThis is y/n, Decelis publicationโs editor-in-chief,โ Jungwon introduces and you only gave them an awkward smile as their stare darted at you.
โOh! Your so-called archnemesis,โ Sunghoon spoked, grinning as he waves at you.ย
โYeah, thatโs me,โ you chuckled. โIโm here to interview you guys and observe your daily routine before your showcase. If itโs your practice time, I wonโt disturb you at all. Iโll just be here to watch you.โย
โFor the papers right? So glad that you were able to convince Jungwon to do this,โ Heeseung jokes.
โWe made a promise,โ you nonchalantly replied. โIf I wrote a bad article, blame it on him.โ
โWoah, you really had Jungwon on chokehold,โ Jay laughs, while the youngest couldnโt do anything but to glare at his bandmates.ย
โSince youโre here, want to hear our debut single? Itโll be released in two weeks, so consider yourself lucky that youโll hear it before the whole country does,โ Heeseung suggested, before he led you to sit on the couch nearby.ย
โSo youโll only be releasing a single?โ you asked while you took a seat.
โAlready on the interview part? Yeah, we want to check whether weโll reach our target audience through our music, although some of our original songs are still on streaming sites, they can listen to it โ but this one establishes our name in the mainstream,โ Heeseung explains.ย
You only nod as you continue your conversations with them. They seem chill to talk with, like talking to a friend whoโs a band member. After that short interview, they began practicing for their song.ย
Their debut single, โHeliumโ was ear-catching. Jay produced the song and out of all the fifteen songs theyโve composed, they opted for Helium since itโs catchy and itโs like starting their career with a bang. Jay and Heeseung eventually became the vocalists of the band, with Heeseung taking the main parts.
While Sunghoon and Jungwon remained on their instruments, the band was planning on making everyone sing on the l0ng run. They shared that all of them can sing โ which surprises you.
โYou donโt know? Jungwon can sing,โ Sunghoon teases during their short break, taking it as an opportunity for you to ask questions again.ย
โI just havenโt heard him sing,โ you answered.
โI guess, itโs time for Jungwon to sing,โ Jay pats Jungwonโs shoulder who rolls his eyes.ย
โKeep on dreaming y/n,โ he sticks his tongue out.ย
โIโm not requesting you to sing bitch,โ you sassed.
โNo fighting in this room so stop it you two,โ Heeseung claps his hand, immediately stopping the fight before it could go longer. โBreak timeโs over, letโs go back to practice.โ
The three of them stood up from their place and returned to their instruments, with Jungwon turning his back and giving you a middle finger, you scoffed in disbelief and did the same to him, even mouthing โfuck you.โ
This is going to be a challenging article for you.ย
-
Youโre not sure how you manage to hold on to your sanity everytime youโre with Arcanum โ actually, itโs just Jungwon.ย
The articleโs still in process. Miss Jo seems to be happy with the progress and has pitched some of her ideas. Youโve interviewed the members one by one then as a group. The three older members were easy to interview with. Casual and fun to talk with. Theyโre very passionate with the band even though none of them took music as a college program. It amazes you how their passion outweighs everything.
While Jungwon? Jungwonโs making it hard for you. Heโs there with his smug grin and arms crossed as he tilts his head teasingly while youโre trying your best to give him questions about his journey as Arcanumโs drummer.
Professional my ass.
Your phone recorder had witnessed your hour long banter with him. Even the snarky remarks and name calling was there. Of course youโre not going to transcribe that in the papers, youโll get suspended. Still, it frustrates you that Jungwonโs making it hard for you.ย
โWhat happens to being a professional?โ you asked, raising an eyebrow.
โI am being professional,โ he shrugs.
โSure because answering โitโs coolโ and โiโm having funโ to my questions is professional,โ you sarcastically replied.ย
โWell, Iโm a man of few words,โ Jungwon smiled, and there it was โ that shit-eating grin.ย
โOkay, fine, thatโs how you want it? Iโll take note of that,โ you said before standing up. โI think Iโm done for today, just tell your bandmates Iโve left.โ
โAlready? Youโre easy to give up y/n,โ he mocked, and you only rolled your eyes.
โI have to prepare for the internship,โ you reasoned out. โMy life isnโt all about the article just so you know.โ
โOh, I thought your life revolved around our rivalry.โ
โMaybe itโs you whoโs revolving around it, since you started it.โ
โAnd yet, youโre not backing out of it.โ
โJerk.โ
โOnly for you.โย
You didnโt answer Jungwon, but instead you made your way out of the room, halting your walk mid-way when you felt your phone vibrating. Your pent-up frustrations died a bit when you saw that it was your mother whoโs calling.
โHey mom,โ you greeted.
โHi sweetie, how are you? Iโm just checking on you because itโs been a while since you called,โ she started with a worried tone.
You heaved out a sigh. All the stress and workload had made you forget to make a call to your parents. โIโm fine ma, Iโm at outside at the moment, I just finished an interview with Arcanum โโ
โOh! Jungwonโs band! How is he? Is he still there?โ your mother asked excitingly.ย
You only closed your eyes before smiling bitterly. โNo ma, I mean โ I just finished the interview and Iโll be going home now, I have to finish the requirements for the internship, you know, the one for the supreme court.โ
โHave you ever thought about your auntโs offer? Itโs a good deal y/n,โ your mother changes the topic suddenly.
โMa, itโs too far, I canโt, itโll be a huge adjustment for me,โ you argued. There it is again. Your mother has been bugging you about your career decisions. Your aunt was also a lawyer, but sheโs currently residing in the states. She was nice to give you a scholarship under their firm, along with an internship. The offer was huge and itโll even give you a bigger stepping stone to your dream.
But it was too soon. Too rash for you and as much as itโs a huge opportunity, you find it hard to leave everything behind in a short time.
โBut we will be there y/n, youโre not going to be alone, weโre here to support you,โ she softly said and that assured you, but still.
โI know that ma, but Iโm just not ready to leave yet,โ you only said.
โOh thatโs right, you couldnโt leave Jungwon alone,โ she laughed and that made you wince. โBut the offer is still open y/n, I asked your aunt to send you details through your email, looked into it okay?โ
โOkay ma,โ the call ended and you only laughed ironically at how your parents still think that you and Jungwon are still friends. Oh well. Things are better unexplained.ย
โHey y/n,โ thatโs when you turned to your left, noticing that the other Arcanum members were there. Thatโs when you remembered where you are right now, hopefully, they werenโt able to hear your call with your mother.
โI just finished my interview with Jungwon,โ you lied, smiling awkwardly at them. โIโll be going now, bye guys!โ
You didnโt even let them bid you goodbye, you hurriedly went past them and went straight to the elevator, confusing the three but they had a small hunch.
The moment they returned to the room, Jungwon stared at them innocently.
โWhat?โ he asked, like a deer caught in the headlights.ย
โJungwon, come on take this seriously,โ Heeseung reprimanded.ย
โIf she seriously wrote us in a bad light, weโre blaming you,โ Jay pointed out and it only made the younger boy laugh.ย
โOkay, but you shouldnโt make it hard for her,โ Heeseung shared. โI get that you guys have some rivalry, but in the end, sheโll be the one whoโll get in trouble if she wonโt be able to pass the article before the deadline.โ
โYouโre nagging me arenโt you?โ the youngest only said.ย
โJust โ donโt make it hard for her to do her job,โ Heeseung added, patting Jungwon's shoulder lightly. โYouโre too old for this childish shit Jungwon.โ
โYeah, holding onto a grudge wonโt bring you good too,โ Sunghoon added.
โYou guys worry too much,โ Jungwon commented.
โDonโt give her a hard time Jungwon,โ Jay crosses his arms. โWe didnโt mean to pry but we heard her call earlier with her mom, she seems to be going through something.โ
โWhat do you mean?โ
โWe donโt know the context,โ Heeseung answered. โBut for her sake, donโt give her more stress, can you?โ
โFine.โ it was the only thing Jungwon could say. Mind filled with curiosity about your call with your mother.
-
Youโre all alone inside the club room.
Youโve been staring at your laptop for a few minutes. The tab of your microsoft word where your article is is left untouched. Youโre deep in thoughts as you stare at the email that your aunt sent you a few days ago. Fingers tapping on the mousepad as your mind becomes afloat.
Decisions are being made inside you, weighing the pros and cons, and internally, all you wanted was a sign.
And as if, someone heard your prayers. A knock on the door echoed inside the whole room. Startled, you immediately close your tab before turning around to see Jungwon standing in front of the door.ย
โDo you need anything?โ you asked with a serious tone.ย
โIโm just here to inform you that the showcase will be next Friday,โ Jungwon said. โHeeseung hyung will be giving you a media pass, you can bring another one too. Maโam Jo has a separate one because sheโs handling the livestream.โ
โAlright,โ you only nod.ย
โHowโs the article,โ he asked, sounding more genuine than usual.ย
โItโs great actually,โ you replied with a casual tone.
Jungwon didnโt stop despite the whole fiasco.ย
The good thing was that his members were there during his solo interview. Watching him like a hawk that he was left with no choice but to answer your questions properly. Thank God they subtly helped you or else you might just have to write him out of the article.
Days passed and your articles almost finished. All you need is the coverage of their debut showcase โ at a small theater hall yet it sold out in minutes. Highlighting their popularity and the publicโs anticipation of their debut.ย
โThe internship?โ he asked, sounding curious rather than mocking.
โInterviewโs will be at the end of the month,โ a week after the showcase. Itโll give you more time to prepare for it. Youโve already submitted your resumรจ to them, along with the required documents. All you needed was to prepare for the interview.ย
Somehow you couldnโt help but to feel nervous about it. Even though Jungwon, your biggest rival, isn't going to participate, the chances of you getting picked are still small. Thatโs why youโre eager to finish the article so that you can focus on preparing for the interview.ย
โGood luck to you,โ he said, making you glance at him.ย
With his smile, you felt a faint skip on your heart. You can feel your cheeks heating up as the two of you stood there in silence.
โMake sure to get the slot so that my promise wonโt go to waste,โ he added and that immediately crashes your assumptions about his words.
You only rolled your eyes as you focused on your laptop screen. โCan you even be genuine for once, Yang Jungwon?โ
โYou really want that from me?โ he asked, and thereโs a bitter tone on it that made you realise.
โRight,โ you only chuckled, remembering that you and Jungwon are still rivals despite helping each other. โIf you donโt need anything else, you can leave now.โ
โThey heard your phone call with your mom,โ Jungwon started, halting your actions. You knew what he was talking about. โYou had a fight with her?โ
โThatโs none of your business,โ you answered him back.
โYou never fought with her,โ Jungwon pointed out.
โMaybe they shouldโve added more context about my call,โ you said with an annoyed tone. โI just havenโt called her in weeks, thatโs why she called me worried.โย
โOh.โ
โYeah, so thereโs nothing going on with me at the moment,โ you glanced at him. โDonโt act like youโre suddenly concerned for my well-being, Jungwon.โ
For a moment, the two of you only stood there in silence. Jungwon didnโt move. He only stared at you whoโs eyebags are heavy underneath the glasses. Youโre not really great at hiding everything, and even with snarky remarks of yours, Jungwon still wonโt buy that excuse.
But who is he even anyway? Jungwon remembers that thereโs no use of him being concerned about you, itโll only leave him confused โ and so do you. So he only turned around and left. The door closes and it reminds you that your friendship with Jungwon had been gone for long โ and no amount of redemption and battles of wit would ever mend it.ย
You opened the mail tab once again, staring at it โ the opportunity and the final step towards achieving your dreams. Itโs right there in front of you. Itโs chasing after you and itโs appalling because itโs begging for you and not the other way around. Youโre just playing hard-to-get in this game.
But you know that youโre not ready for a big change. Thatโs why you shut down your laptop instead. Choices are being thunked as you exit the club room, walking towards the empty hallway as you make your way outside the building.ย
You were welcomed by the golden sky, and you only smiled at the sky because youโve been used to it as someone whoโs been in Decelis since her high school days. It feels hard to say goodbye to it. You thought as you started walking towards the university gate.ย
You didnโt even notice Jungwonโs whoโs sitting by a nearby bench. Watching you disappear from his sight. Mind still bugged about you and whatโs going on with your life.ย
โJungwon!โ his thoughts disappeared when a tap on the shoulder startled him.ย
โDonโt scare me like that!โ he snarled at his friends who laughed at his reaction.
โWeโve been calling you from afar but youโre busy ogling at y/n,โ Sunoo teased, glancing at the direction where you went.
โYou know we still have a lot of months for our senior year, itโs not too late to talk to her,โ Riki suggested.ย
โI donโt know what youโre talking about,โ Jungwon replied sharply.
โStill in denial I see,โ the taller man laughs.
โNot in denial,โ Jungwon refuted. โI just donโt see why thereโs a need to.โ
โWhy, afraid of getting rejected again?โ Sunoo rolls his eyes. โYou know, if you swallow your pride and be persistent to her, maybe the second timeโs the charm, you know?โย
โNot going to follow you Sunoo.โ
โOkay fine, hold onto your pride, but who has a girlfriend between the three of us?โ Sunoo smirks, and the other two groans in response.
โYou two donโt have a label yet!โ Riki justified, and the three of them only laughed as they decided to leave their place and find a place to eat dinner.
-
The theater hall is bustling with people. Fans, media, and reporters are busying themselves as the showcase will start around six in the evening.ย
You sat on your designated seat beside Minju who served as the paperโs photographer. Sheโs busy fixing her cameraโs settings while you only sit there, waiting for it to start.
The first segment will be the interview. An hour segment wherein theyโll be answering questions from the press and their fans. While the other half will be their performance. Itโll run for an hour and a half along with a short hi-touch for the fans. Just like what theyโve told you.
Youโre busy doodling on your notebook while Minju quietly captures the stage. Slowly, the place is getting crowded. Miss Jo is beside the tech booth along with some general staff, preparing for the livestream.
The program started exactly at six. The crowd became loud and flashes of camera started to flicker as the mc of the showcase announced the arrival of Arcanum.
One by one, they entered the stage, wearing casual and sporty attire. Theyโre also wearing light makeup and heavy accessories โ their usual get-up whenever they have a gig. The screams became louder, almost like whistles of whales, and it shows that theyโre currently a fan sensation.ย
โWow, they all look so handsome,โ Minju said and you only nod at her words. Theyโre all visually-appealing, which is one of the reasons why they can easily attract fans.ย
โHello, we are Arcanum,โ Heeseung leads the greeting, waving at the crowd enthusiastically before introducing themselves one by one. As they busy themselves with their greetings and introduction, you open your laptop where you have access on Decelis Publicationโs social media page, preparing for a live update and multitasking on writing short captions about them.ย
They started the interview lightheartedly. Sharing their thoughts and journey starting as a university band to an independent one, and eventually, signing under a label, everyone expressed their sentiments and how theyโre honored that their label took them in and hone their talent.ย
They also mention their goals and expectations this year, Jay wished to have their own solo concerts while Heeseung wanted to meet their fans all over the country. The question then darted to Jungwon whoโs still finishing his studies, the boy only smiled at the question.
โTime management is the key, also itโs not only me whoโs studying, Sunghoon hyung is doing it too,โ Jungwon answered. The mc noted that their dedication and discipline is on the next level especially when their college program is far from their current career.
โAlways choose your passion, thatโs what strives us to work harder,โ Sunghoon added.
โActually, none of us took music as a college program,โ Heeseung shared with a laugh. โBut after Jay and I graduated last year, the four of us talked about our future deeply and we realized that we couldnโt let go of Arcanum, thatโs why weโre here.โ
โAnd you guys made the right decision,โ the mc said genuinely, making the four smile.ย
They continued the segment, changing the topic about their music, their debut single, and old songs. The members were able to answer the questions with sense and well-thought, sharing the process in their music composition and how they find inspiration on writing lyrics.ย
Eventually, they moved onto the segment where they can answer their fanโs questions. The staff pulled a whiteboard with tons of sticky notes stuck to it, surprising the group with the amount of questions they received.
โHow did Arcanum form?โ It was the first question Heeseung picked, which surprised them.
โWe havenโt told anyone this one right?โ Jay shared, and the other two agreed.ย
โTo start, Jay and I met during freshman orientation, we became close because we learned that we love playing guitar and singing. We actually tried joining Decelis Chorale but we got rejected,โ Heeseung started, laughing at his freshman self who was deflated when he didnโt get to be part of the chorale.ย
โSo out of spite, we thought that we should form a band, but we need to recruit members,โ Heeseung added.
โWhile Sunghoon has been an acquaintance of mine since our parents knew each other, we met again in Decelis and I asked if he still plays the piano and he doesnโt anymore but he rekindled it when I asked him that,โ Jay added. โSunghoon was interested in playing in a band, so itโs slowly coming into pieces, we just need someone who plays the drums and Jungwon popped out of nowhere.โ
โJay hyung posted an instagram story asking if thereโs any Decelis student whoโs interested in playing drums, I thought it was just a one time thing but now Iโm stuck with these useless hyungs,โ Jungwon jokes, making the whole theater laugh.ย
โWe were sophomores back then while Jungwonโs still a freshman, we tried practicing our chemistry together and it worked, we performed the first time at The Rabbit Hole and there, Arcanum was born,โ Sunghoon stated.
โAnd here you are guys,โ the mc concluded.
Heeseung only smiles, โright, here we are now.โ
After the question, they moved to another one. Jay picks a random one and as he reads it, he laughs at the question.
โOh this is interesting, what is the memberโs ideal type,โ Jay shared, earning screams from the fans.
โSeems like everyoneโs curious, who knows maybe their lucky girl is someone from the audience,โ the mc teases, making the crowd scream louder. You only laughed at their reaction, looking at each other, theyโre probably contemplating on whether theyโll expose their relationship or not.
โWho should go first? Jay? Since you picked it?โ the mc gestured, and Jay only hums for a moment.ย
โFor me, my ideal type would probably be someone whoโs confident and has a kind heart,โ he smiled and tons of screams filled the place.
โAnyone that comes to your mind?โ Heeseung asked, and the screams became louder. Jay only laughed before he looked at the vocalist.
โHow about you tell us your type Heeseung,โ Jay changes the topic instead.
โMy type?โ Heeseung thinks about it for a minute, even though thereโs someone on his mind right now. โMy type is someone whoโs mature and independent, but at the same time, I want to take care of her too.โ
โThatโs cute, itโs like you want her to be dependent on you,โ the mc complimented, and Heeseung could only shyly nod. โHow about you Sunghoon?โ
โMine is someone whoโs hard-working and goal oriented, a little hard-headed but sheโs cute when sheโs too stubborn,โ Sunghoon smiles.
โThatโs oddly specific hyung, itโs like youโre describing someone,โ Jungwon commented.
โHe is actually describing someone,โ Jay teases, and Sunghoonโs smile never fades as he looks at Jungwon.
โItโs your turn Jungwon, tell us your ideal type,โ the keyboardist asked.
โMy type?โ Jungwon asked, grinning before he looked at the audience.
And for a minute, youโre sure that you and him made eye contact for a second. He smiles before shifting his gaze back to the crowd.
โI like someone who can put up with me,โ he explains. โSomeone that I can consider as my other half.โ
โYeah, we know someone who can put up with you,โ Heeseung commented, and before you could even react Minjuโs slapping your shoulder, scowling at her.
โWhat the fuck Minju,โ you whispered-shout to her.
โDonโt deny it bitch, heโs talking about you!โ your best friend teases, the same way Jungwonโs friends are teasing him on the stage.
โAnd? Iโm not going to jump into it,โ you rolled your eyes, but Minjuโs laughter still lingered.
The segment continued on. The questions were random, like ranking their visuals or what they do if they werenโt in the band. You only follow through their interview as you tap away on your laptop, until they wrapped the interview and they went backstage to change.
A five minute break was given, which gave you subtle time to stretch your legs. You looked at Miss Joโs message and she was happy because thereโs a lot of engagement about Arcanumโs showcase. You searched for her at the tech booth, and as you made eye contact with her, your adviser only smiled and gave you a thumbs up.
Arcanum returned with their outfit changed, earning cheers from the crowd as they went to their respective places. It means that their performance showcase will start.
On Heeseungโs cue, he raises his right arm, a silent countdown to three, and the first strike on his guitar made the crowd scream loudly. You only sat there, astonished how they can control the crowd with such ease.ย
Each member has their own charisma. Itโs hard to not focus on just one member, but your eyes always end up on Jungwon whoโs behind Heeseung, in his little world with his drums, playing along with the beat as their vocalist sings his heart out.
Heโs truly born to perform on stage. You thought as your hands typed the sentence on your word file, eyes never leaving him.
They started with some of their old songs like โXOโ and โGive me your forever.โ They also covered a few songs, old covers that theyโve done back then.
They end their showcase with โHelium.โ Everyone was screaming their hearts out. Heeseung and Jay were a great duo and their voices complemented each other. After the end of the song, they proceed to the center and do a final bow as a sign of gratitude. Waving goodbye to their fans before they move to another hall room where the hi-touch will be held.
You watched as one by one, everyone left the hall. You and Minju stayed there for a moment, not wanting to squeeze yourself at the crowd. You and Minju were busy looking at the photos she captured when you felt your phone vibrating.
โHey Jiwon, whatโs up?โ you asked as soon as you answered the phone.
โYouโre still in the theater hall? We're backstage, you want to carpool with us?โ she asked.ย
โIf thereโs space sure, Iโm with Minju by the way,โ you answered.
โOf course she can come โ oh right! Weโre having a house party at our place after this, want to come?โ Jiwon said with excitement.
You glanced at Minju before separating your phone from your ears. โHey, theyโre having a house party at Jiwonโs place, you want to come?โ
โYeah Iโm good, but can we please change our outfits? I want to look presentable,โ Minju begs. She was wearing a baggy shirt and black slacks, a semi-formal combination which made you chuckle softly.
โYeah, I think I need to take a short shower too,โ you commented before returning to Jiwon. โHey, weโll just meet you at the party, I need to take a short shower while Minju wants to drop her camera at our dorm.โ
โAlright, just let me know if you guys are on your way, the partyโs exclusive, so a pass is required.โ and with that, she hangs up. You let out a small chuckle before glancing at Minju.
โLetโs go have dinner first, Iโm kinda starving,โ you suggested as you two decided that itโs not crowded for you to leave.
โYeah, so do I โ anyways, letโs just drink moderately tonight.โ Minju added, in which you agreed.
-
True to Jiwonโs words, the party was indeed exclusive.ย
Youโve noticed the small crowd of people outside. Some are complaining how the party is for โDecelis Studentsโ only. You didnโt even know that there was a party not until an hour ago. The details were probably given in secret.
Youโve texted Jiwon earlier that youโre on your way to their place. As you reached their gate, she was standing outside, holding her phone. You called out her name hoping that itโll reach her despite the loud noise inside.
Jiwon immediately notices you and smiles, approaching you two, and giving you and Minju a hug.ย
โIโm glad that you two are here!โ she excitedly said, eyeing you and Minju. โNice outfit by the way.โ
You only gave her your thanks as she ushered you two inside their house โ and there it was.ย
A party to celebrate Arcanumโs debut. A house party filled with loud music, alcohol, and heat. The decorations were on point. Neon lights filled the place along with some balloons and party strings. You know that their parents are always away, so itโs not a surprise that they manage to throw a house party.
โYou really went all out Jiwon,โ you told her, who only smiled as you followed her towards the kitchen where the food and drinks were placed.ย
โCocktails? Beers? What do you want? Food? We have pizza and chicken poppers too!โ the older girl excitedly said, making you glance at Minju.
โWeโll have the beer, thank you so much,โ Minju only said. Jiwon grabs some cold bottles from the cooler, opening it for the two of you.
โArcanum will perform around eight, you guys can wander anywhere and Iโll give you guys the privilege to go upstairs, just tell Sunoo and Jake that youโre with me,โ Jiwon winks before leaving you two there alone.
You and Minju decided to just stay in the kitchen, stuffing yourself with food and beer while talking about the most random topics that you two could ever think about while judging the strangers passing by. Despite being an exclusive party, the place was still pretty crowded.ย
Suddenly, the music stopped in the middle of your conversation. Both you and Minju glanced at the living room when you heard screaming from the crowd.ย
โHey Decelis, weโre back,โ a familiar voice echoed through the huge house. Thatโs when you and Minju decided to go to the living and there they were.ย
Set up in the middle of the living room was Arcanum. A smile on their face as they greet their fellow students. Theyโre met with nostalgia and fulfillment as they stand in front of the crowd.
โFirst of all, let me just give you all a short trivia about Arcanum and this place,โ Heeseung started. โLetโs just say this place holds a lot of memories for our band. This place served as a space for us to practice our gigs and songs. Not only that, we laughed, cried, composed songs, and got passed-out drunk in this place. So itโs right that we celebrate our debut with a homecoming party here.โย
A few โawwwโ and claps enamored in the crowd, they were cheering for Arcanum and the members only smiled at the thought that thereโs an overwhelming support from their alma mater.ย
They all feel fulfilled. From performing earlier at the theater hall up to performing in front of their schoolmates inside the house that served as their practice room for years, the band couldnโt help but to be grateful for everyone.ย
โYeah, yeah, enough with the sappy shits, weโre here to party!โ Jay interrupted, and the first strum of his electric guitar earned cheers from the crowd. They immediately controlled the crowd with a familiar song that hit the students with nostalgia.
You and Minju only stood there watching them despite having to watch them earlier at the showcase. Compared to their performance back then, the Arcanum in front of you is much more laid-back. Chill and free like itโs just their typical gig at The Rabbit Hole. It made sense that theyโre more free when itโs just them performing in front of their fellow students.
Your eyes focused on Jungwon whoโs too focused with the drums. Eyebrows scrunched yet expression laid back as he syncs along the beat, heavy and loud making him tilt his head upwards like heโs feeling the music.ย
โI want you guys to sing along!โ Heeseung shouted before he started singing the chorus. The crowd follows him, even Minju was screaming along the lyrics while you stood there, eyes never taking Jungwon off.ย
The heavy feeling of seeing him earlier at the showcase, debuting as a musician, you couldnโt help but to feel a soft hitch on your heart. Heโs out there finally achieving your dreams while youโre still far away from yours.
Youโre not thinking about your rivalry with him at those moments. All you knew was that your heart was screaming how much youโre proud of him. Despite all the chaos you had to endure of interviewing the band the past few weeks, you couldnโt help but feel a small win โ their article also felt like a big break for you.ย
Thatโs why for once you let loose. You sang along to their songs, danced along with Minju, and drank as much beer as your tolerance could handle. Itโs not surprising that you ended up a little bit tipsy by the end of Arcanumโs performance. Everyone was applauding for them as they took a final bow before greeting the crowd.
You and Minju decided to escape the crowd, the music started once again and the living roomโs became pretty too crowded, partygoers had entered more than what itโs capacitated, so you and Minju went back to the less crowded kitchen to stuff yourself some food once again while talking about Arcanumโs performance.ย
โIโm glad that we went here,โ Minju said, making you glance at her.
โYeah me too,โ you only smiled.
โWe seldom have time to party, and now that weโre going to be much busier this year, I donโt know if I can handle more,โ Minju started, making both of you fall into silence.
โRight, itโs going to be a hard year huh?โ you laughed, making your best friend laugh too. Minju only raised her beer and so you clanked your beer against her before chugging it until the last drop.
โShould we try their mysterious cocktail drinks?โ Minju suggested, eyeing on the huge pitcher towers thatโs color red and blue.ย
โWhy not?โ you agreed, grabbing clean red cups and pouring you two some drinks.
โMinju, hey,โ the two of you turned when someone tapped your best friendโs shoulder, only to see a co-senior of yours, you forgot his name, but he looked nervous, almost embarrassed by the thought of standing in front of you two.ย
โHi,โ your best friend greets, you can see how Minjuโs expression softens, almost blushing โ you raise an eyebrow as you observe them.ย
โUhmโฆcan we talk? Maybe somewhere not noisy?โ he mustered up the courage and you almost laughed on the spot because of how he stumbled on his own words.
โWell,โ Minju glances at you, and you immediately catch it.
โItโs okay! Go on, Iโll be here Minju, or maybe upstairs, just text me okay?โ you assured.
โYou sure?โ
โBabe, I know this place like the back of my hand, Iโll be safe here,โ you assured, then you leaned against her and quietly handed her a sharp knife keychain you keep in your pockets. โJust making sure youโre safe.โ
Minju only smiles at you before agreeing to him. You watched as Minju leaves with the boy. He seems to be really interested in her, so you let it be. Smiling because it might be your best friendโs potential love life.
It left you standing there awkwardly by the kitchen counter, sipping on the mysterious cocktail that tastes like sweetened pineapple with a tequila aftertaste. For a moment, you let the silence engulf you, too much overwhelmed by the crowd in the living room but when silence has been too noisy for you, thatโs when you decided to step out of the kitchen โ only to be bumped by someone.ย
โY/n?โย
Your eyes widened in surprise before a smile formed on your lips, โoh my god, Dohoon! How are you?โ you excitedly said as you hugged Dohoon who only reciprocates your action.ย
โGood, all good, how about you Ms. Editor-in-Chief?โ he smiled as the two of you broke out of the hug.
โWell Iโm doing great too, Mr. Soccer Team Captain,โ you teased back.ย
โI canโt believe that this is where weโll see each other,โ Dohoon said in disbelief and you only nod.
โYeah, me too,โ you only said, smiling at him as you took a sip from your cup.
You decided to stay inside the kitchen to accompany Dohoon who ditches his friend in the living room because he was hungry. You two ended up catching up after years of not seeing each other, which is funny because you two go to the same university but never saw each other. But it feels nice to hear how he has been, and it relieves you that he managed to save you from the awkward loneliness inside the party.ย
Youโre too busy talking to Dohoon that you failed to notice that Jungwon has been standing from afar, watching as you and Dohoon laughed and talked to each other like you two didnโt have a past.ย
His sight darkens. Jungwon couldnโt believe that you had the guts to do it in his house. His eyes blinding with jealousy as the red cup on his hand tightens, almost spilling juices on his hands.
Jungwon gulps the cocktail from his cup, hoping that his jealousy might be washed off from the thirst, while his eyes never left yours โ stomach knotting in an indescribable yet annoying feeling.
Jungwon knows he doesnโt have the right to feel that way, but he can't help it when his feelings have a strong control over him. He even tried to look away, but when he noticed from his peripheral vision that Dohoon leaned against you, his feet moved out of instinct.ย
โExcuse me โโ you two stopped when Jungwon stood in front of you two. โYou two are in the way.โ
Dohoon was the first one to realise that you two are by the cocktail counter. โOh, sorry about that dude, congrats on your debut by the way.โ
โThanks,โ Jungwon only said, not even batting an eye at the other male.
โRude,โ you mumbled under your breath.ย
โWhatโs rude is that you two are on the way to the cocktail counter,โ Jungwon fumed.
Dohoon seems to be taken back by Jungwonโs tone. Not trying to push further, he only gives you a small smile before he said, โitโs good to see you y/n again, letโs catch up sometime? Maybe have some tacos and burritos?โ
โJust like before? Of course!โ you excitedly said.
โGreat, great, just set the date, and weโll make it work,โ Dohoon smiles before he bids goodbye to you. You waved back at him and as you watched him disappear into the crowd, Jungwon laughed mockingly which made you glare at him.
โYouโre not a great host arenโt you?โ you mocked Jungwon.
โAnd youโre flirting at my house,โ Jungwon pointed out, taking a sip on his cup. โThis is my party, you know? Why are you even here?โ
โJiwon invited me, you think I went here for you? Keep dreaming Won.โ
โWell, I was hoping that youโll show a little gratitude for me since I saved your ass by letting you interview the band for your article.โ
โOh right, almost forgot that, now if you excuse me, Iโll go look for Heeseung and thank him for agreeing with the interview.โ you sarcastically replied, and before you could move, Jungwon had cornered over you.ย
Your heart started beating fast, surprised that Jungwonโs almost an inch closer to your face. His eyes were dark and glaring, and you only stood there, not knowing where to go as the counter against your back was cold.
โCanโt believe you have the audacity to flirt with that guy,โ he blurted out and his words struck you.
โHoly shit, are you jealous Yang Jungwon?โ you snickered, smiling devilishly. โWhy would you even be jealous of Dohoon? You donโt have the right to be jealous of him,โ dainty fingers pointing at his chest until you shove him out of the way โ and surprisingly, he lets you be.ย
You exit the kitchen, ignoring Jungwonโs stabbing glare, as you enter the overcrowded living room. There werenโt enough to even pass by. Hot, sweaty bodies stuck together like glue, touching your arms and making you wince as you excuse yourself from the crowd. Some were still sane to give way while others were too rough to care.
โShit!โ you cursed as someoneโs drinks spilled on your blouse, they didnโt even notice that they bumped into you, probably too intoxicated. The cold, sticky alcohol spread on your body made you groan in annoyance.ย
You managed to squeeze your way out of the crowd, just one second of bursting out of frustration because it was your favorite blouse, now itโs stained with red juice and itโll be hard for you to remove it.ย
โOh my god, y/n are you okay?โ you didnโt notice Jiwon approaching you, eyes glued on your disastrous blouse.
โYeah, the crowd's too rough and someone spilled on me,โ you only replied, not even batting an eye at them.ย ย
โGo borrow some clothes from my closet, you can stay there too if you want I donโt mind,โ she suggested, and you only nod to her words.ย
โThank you Jiwon.โ you defeatedly said.
โNo worries! I saw Minju is still talking with some guy outside, want me to tell her your whereabouts?โ she offered and you only shook your head, not wanting to ruin your best friend or Jiwonโs night.
You climbed upstairs, greeting the guys that were there. Youโre familiar with them and they seem to know that youโre close with the Yang siblings so they let you further down the hallway.ย
You went inside Jiwonโs room. The walls painted baby pink and clean, smelling like the floral perfume she wears, and the silence only made you heave out a relieved sigh.
You began unbuttoning your blouse, discarding it and going towards the small bathroom inside her room. Washing off the stickiness that stuck on your skin as your eyes darted on your white bra, stained with red juice too. Great. Not only your favorite blouse is ruined, but also one of your newly-bought bras too.ย
As you exit the bathroom, you jump out a mile when you see Jungwon sitting on Jiwonโs bed. Turning around and looking at you โ noticing how his eyes darted down on your chest.
โWhat the fuck โ get out!?โ you shouted, covering your bra but Jungwon seems to be unfazed by it.ย
โQuit acting like I didnโt see you in a bikini top,โ Jungwon teased.ย
You only rolled your eyes, โyeah that was five years ago when we were still friends โ what the fuck are you even doing here? Get the hell out?โ
Jungwon tilts his head amusingly, โweโre in our house, I can do anything I want.โ
โJungwon, seriously, get out or โโ
โHere,โ he said, and in a split second you managed to catch the thing he threw โ a shirt of his. You only stare at it, cheeks heating up as you find the gesture sweet.
โYou okay? You look like youโre about to cry earlier,โ Jungwon said with a teasing tone, and the flustered feeling was immediately replaced with annoyance.ย
โIf youโre here to make fun of me, just get out,โ you said. Throwing his shirt on the floor and going towards Jiwonโs closet. You opened the door where hundreds of shirts are folded neatly, you chose to pick up the first one on top when you felt a figure hovering over you.ย
โJungwon,โ you warned, feeling his body way too close to yours. โWhatever youโre doing, fuck off.โ
โYouโre the one whoโs assuming that Iโll do something,โ Jungwon taunted, and slowly, he leaned down near your ear. โIf you want me to, youโll have to beg for it.โ
You only rolled your eyes, but you canโt deny that thereโs a heavy tension between the two of you. Jungwonโs right arm stretches on the side, trapping you one-sided which means heโs giving you the chance to walk away.
But you didnโt. You stood there frozen as you clutched on the shirt tightly. Deep inside the fireโs burning, your curiosity is fighting your pride along with your yearning. A simple touch from him, and youโll feel like your knees will weaken.ย
โBeg?โ you mockingly asked, turning around to face him with a prideful expression. โIโd rather die than to beg.โย
โBut youโre blushing babe,โ Jungwon pointed out and thatโs when you pushed him away. Large strides going towards the door when the male pushes it close. You didnโt even stand a chance against his strength.
โCome on, Iโm just playing with you,โ and you donโt know whatโs got into Jungwon, all you know is that he reeks of alcohol and probably tipsy with his words. Heโs close again. Way too close. And that only hitches your breath. Heart beating fast as the tension between you grew heavier.
โWhat do you even want, Jungwon,โ you shouldnโt have said, you know what it meant. An invitation, a rhetorical question because both of you know where it leads.ย
โYou.โ
You froze there when his lips landed on the side of your neck. Nibbling and leaving trails of his soft lips, both of his hands made their way to your waist, holding onto your soft skin as you held onto your breath.
โIโm not going to play with your games Jungwon,โ you only said, eyes closing as you pray internally that he leaves you be.ย
โWho said Iโm playing with you?โ he taunted between his kisses.
โYou just fucking said it earlier.โ you said with gritted teeth.
โAnd what if Iโm serious right now?โ Jungwon answered with a serious tone.
You werenโt able to say anything, you only stood there as Jungwonโs lips continued playing around your shoulder area.
โYou want this too, you know?โ he smirks behind you. โBecause if you really donโt, you wouldโve pushed me away. Cursed me, and left me hard and wanting for you.โ
You didnโt answer his words, because heโs right โ youโre just too prideful to admit it. You let him be, let his hands explore your body and lips leave marks on your skin.
You donโt know what happened, but the next thing you knew, he turned you around and his lips were on yours.ย
Hungry. Craving. Jungwonโs devouring your lips like heโs been thirsting it for years. The years of his lingering feelings for you all burst out that night.
And so was yours. Because you kissed him back. Your lips locked on that infuriating asshole who used to be your other half now turned rival in everything because fuck, youโve been yearning for it too.ย
Your heart and mind were battling each other while your lips produced soft noises against Jungwonโs. Everything about it feels wrong, especially when you shouldnโt be going down with him.
You shouldโve pushed him away, cursed at his face and left the place โ but instead, your hands found its way on Jungwonโs hair, tugging on it harshly as his lips bites down on your lower lips, sucking at the skin while his hands squeezed your waist tighter.ย
โIn the end, youโll give in too,โ Jungwon smirks, both hands lifting you as he carries you towards the bed. Slamming you down with a soft thud, back hitting against the mattress while Jungwon quickly crawled over you, pulling you to another aggressive kiss as his knees pushed in between your thighs.ย
โFuck you Jungwon,โ you could only breathe.
โWeโll get to that babe,โ Jungwon taunted before he pressed his lips against yours once again.
Eyes closed, you lost yourself to Jungwon as the male started exploring your body. Rough, calloused hands feeling every exposed skin of yours until it drafts on your face, cupping your jawline as he separates from your lips.ย
His lips trailed down on your neck, tilting your head for space as he began sucking the soft skin of yours. A breathy moan escapes your lips as Jungwon never stopped. Neck, collarbone, and even above your chest. Until everything is purple and marked like he has always wanted to do you for years.
โMine,โ he mumbled, barely hearing it before he lifted you to reach your back and unclasped your strap, only hovering it upwards and started fondling your firm breasts, fitting on his hands like a glove.ย
โYou should see yourself, writhing underneath me,โ Jungwon spoke before he latches his mouth on one of your hardened nipples. Biting harshly making you yelp in pain as his hot, warm tongue played around it.ย
โAsshole,โ you mumbled against your moans as Jungwon continued the act. Sucking harshly on your nipples.
โThis asshole is going to fuck you hard tonight,โ he taunted. โGoing to make you forget everything we had, until the only thing you can remember is how my cock fits inside you perfectly.โย
And those words only made you whimper as Jungwonโs hips moved against his own, grinding his clothed cock against yours. The rough friction of his pants against your panty were harsh yet it threw a tease for you two.
โYou want it?โ he teased. โYou're gonna need your words babe.โ
โDream on Jungwon,โ you replied with a gritted teeth. Youโre still holding onto your pride. Your mind trying to rationalize that this is still wrong but fuck, your arousalโs starting to heat and the way Jungwonโs hips grind against you just gives you the urge to give in.ย
โYour body says otherwise,โ he grins, hands in between your thighs as he cups it despite the layered clothes. Whistling teasingly as his thumb somehow finds the spot, making you let out a small mewl which made Jungwon chuckle deeply.ย
โJungwon โโ
โCome on, while Iโm still being nice babe,โ he coos, hand pressing against it. โYou donโt want me being mean donโt you?โ
And despite all the teasing, you still wonโt give in. โGo. Fuck. Yourself.โ
The next thing you knew, his hands were cupping your face tightly while the other hand landed a harsh slap in between your thighs, making you let out a loud yelp.
โWhat do I expect, youโve always been a brat y/n,โ he sneered. โBut donโt worry babe, Iโm going to fuck that attitude out of you.โ
Jungwon didnโt waste any time. Harshly, he lifts up your skirt and kneed your legs wider, thanking you internally for giving him easier access. He looks at your clothed cunt, seeing the wet patch in the middle, he couldnโt help but to chuckle darkly as the tent inside him became more visible, begging to be freed.ย
He leans against you once again, cupping your cheeks harshly as his lips crash on yours once again. Rough and forcing as his tongue swipes down your lips, fingers pressing the side making you whine loudly โ giving Jungwon the opportunity to insert his tongue at you.
A shaky breath was all you could do as your hands finds it way towards Jungwonโs hair, tugging it harshly but instead of pulling him away from you, you could only hold on his hair for leverage, because as much as you know that this is wrong, you eventually gave in and want more of it.ย
Your words fell flat the moment you let yourself indulge into the act. You find yourself moaning as you kiss him back, tongue battling against his as you tug his hair harder, making Jungwon moan against your lips.ย
โSee, you want this too, donโt you?โ he laughs as he breaks out from the kiss. Calloused hands finding its way in between your thigh once again, just its light feathering made you let out a loudest sound inside the room. His finger fiddled with your pantyโs waistband, tugging it until he had access to your cunt.
โFuck already wet for me? Youโre getting wet for your rival? See that, what will your pride say about you?โ
You didnโt response to his words, but instead, you tugged his hair harder that he pulled away backwards โ and he only laughs at your action because Jungwon fucking loves how youโre too prideful to not give in so you let your actions speak.ย
And so does Jungwon, because heโs planning to make you give in to him that night. His fingers trailed against the lips of your core. It's wet and pulsating and it only sends chills towards the man. Hearing you holding back your moan, as he dips it further, sliding in and out like he was teasing you.
Jungwon finds your entrance, fingertips swirling against it and you unknowingly bucked your hips against it.ย
He slid one finger inside, curling and pumping inside as your walls hugged his finger, eager for pleasure while his curiosity lingered so much. Pumping twice before he removes his finger and decides to lick your musk out of his fingers.
โFuck,โ Jungwon moans loudly, he wanted it. He can feel his dick twitching at your taste. He wanted to taste more of you that in a second, heโs kneeling in front of you, removing your panties completely and throwing it somewhere.ย
It didnโt occur to you that Jungwon had dipped his head in between your thighs. Not until he licks your pussy in one large stripe, and fuck, Jungwon groans heavenly. Why do you taste so fucking good? He couldnโt help but to bury himself against your pussy as he continued to lick your entrance. Tongue protruding as he sucks it harshly, moaning against it while his hands grab both your thighs to stabilize you.ย
โJungwon!โ you let out a scream as he focused on your clit. That little bud that had you writhing under his touch. Jungwon grazes his teeth against it, a curse escapes your lips as you look down and makes eye contact with Jungwon โ leaving you in daze.ย
He stared at you like a curious cat while he busied his mouth on your clit. Giving it kitty licks slow and teasing that it had you holding onto your breath.
โLook how easy you fell for me babe,โ he smiled, giving your pussy soft kisses before devouring you once again.ย
โStop โ Jungwon,โ you mewled as you can feel your stomach tightening, your grip against the bedsheets tightens as Jungwon didnโt stop but instead, he became faster and rougher that another moan escapes your lips.ย
You can feel your orgasm building up, you couldnโt help but to cry as you buck your hips upward to meet Jungwonโs tongue. Itโs right there, everything just feels so good and youโre just in the right momentum โ
Not until Jungwon stops, separating himself from your cunt dying down your orgasm, and leaving you sensitive and wanting. A whiny cry was all you can do as you watch him unbuckle his belt.
โYou think Iโll let you cum babe?โ he smirks at you. You can see his messed up face filled with your slick. โIโm not that easy.โ
And instead of fighting back, your mouth lets out a small whine making him chuckle harder.ย
โYouโll get to cum with my dick, you want that?โ he said and you werenโt able to say another word. Jungwon frees his huge dick. Angry red and twitching, almost sensitive as he strokes it lightly while he approaches you like a predator.
โCome on, use your words,โ he ordered.
โYes,โ you whimpered in defeat, and that obviously had glistened something lustful in Jungwonโs stare.
Jungwon hovered against you, breath steady as he aligned his hard cock on your entrance. A soft whimper escapes your lips as his tip glides up and down on your sensitive cunt. You hold onto his shoulder as Jungwon pushes his cock inside, sliding with ease as your walls welcome it.ย
โYouโre so tight,โ Jungwon moaned before he started moving his hips. โSo fucking tight for me, your pussyโs sucking me like it doesnโt want my cock to leave you.โ
Tears started to fall from your eyes. Breathy moans escaping your lips as Jungwon continued to thrust harshly, rough almost bruising your hips, holding it with his firm hands. You could only take his cock whole, filling you full and reaching your deepest parts.
โOh my god โ Jungwon โโ you stifled a moan when Jungwon reached down and started playing with your tits once again. Fondling and biting the erected bud while his hips never stopped its movement. It only led you to becoming more sensitive. Too fucked-up to sink in that Jungwon, your sworn rival is fucking you hard.
โLook at you babe, already fucked-up? Whoever thought you'd be dumb when a cockโs pounding inside you?โ Jungwon teases, thrust sharp and calculated, every slide stabs your cervix, gliding through your spot that tears continue to flow.
โWhat a gorgeous mess,โ he whispered to himself as Jungwon wiped the tears trailing down your cheeks. โA crying mess for me, want me to ruin you more?โ
You werenโt able to answer his question when he started to pound inside you once again, earning shaking whines from you, legs wanting to escape his hold but Jungwonโs too strong for you. He holds you tightly underneath, expression proud and ego swelling to see you ruined under him.
โAnswer my question,โ Jungwon commanded. โCome on, you can still make up some words slut, or are you too fucked out to say because of my cock?โ
You writhe from his touch, โplease โโ you stuttered out. Itโs the only thing you could think of, especially when youโre on the edge of orgasm. As much as you hated your situation, you also wanted to at least get something from it.ย
โBeg harder babe, Iโm not that easy.โ
โFuck, ruined me Jungwon! Do whatever you want!โ you shouted, and that only gave him the signal to thrust harder, harsher that his fingernails are dipping hard on the flesh of your thighs.
โOh donโt worry babe,โ he grins at you. โI have every intention of ruining you.โ
โJungwon โโ a whimper escapes your lips as you can feel your stomach churning, โplease I want to cum.โ
โThatโs what I want from you,โ Jungwon sneered. โBegging to cum? Canโt do that without me? Since Iโm being good, you can cum babe. Show me that youโve cum because of me.โ
His thrust became sharper, stabbing the right spot endlessly that itโs slowly coiling your insides, your walls becoming tight, hugging Jungwonโs cock and making him groan out of pleasure. Your warm flesh trapping his dick as he fucks you continuously.
You cum silently. Body shaking, tears falling as a muted cry escaped your lips, eyes shut as Jungwon continued his movement. Fucking you through orgasm until your pushing him away.ย
โStop โ please,โ you only begged but your words didnโt even reach Jungwonโs ears. He mercilessly pounded on you until he could feel his dick twitching, and body becoming hotter.
โFuck โโ Jungwon pulls out in a second, hands stroking his dick as he washed through his orgasm. Painting you with his cum, traces of semen tainting your body just like what Jungwon had intended.
You took deep breaths, body slowly coming down as you felt yourself weary and tired, eyes drowsy like Jungwon had sucked all your energy out. It didnโt help that you had a tiring day too, thatโs why you couldnโt help but to close your eyes for a moment.
But in a minute, you felt Jungwonโs arms grabbing you by your hips, too tired to fight back you only let out a small whimper when he flipped your body, stomach pressing against the sheets as you felt his body hovering over you.ย
โTapping out so early? Come on, we only had one round,โ Jungwon taunted, before slapping your ass cheeks, making you moan quietly.ย
โFine, get some rest babe,โ he defeated, planting a kiss on your temple before he moved near your ears. โBut Iโm not done yet with you, weโre just getting started.โ
-
You woke up with your head throbbing and body aching.ย
A loud groan escapes from your lips as you sit up from the bed โ thatโs when you realized that the walls were navy blue and the interiors were different.ย
Youโre in Jungwonโs room alone. You remembered last nightโs chaos, and you find yourself wearing the shirt Jungwon had given you along with some large boxers. You glanced at the bedside and saw your ruined clothes folded, thatโs when it reminded you of last nightโs disaster.ย
You couldnโt even remember what happened after. All you know was that you and Jungwon had sex, and if he had fucked you again after, you didnโt care at all. All you wanted was to get the hell out of his room.
You grabbed your phone beside your clothes, opening it to see any notifications. But one notification stands out from the rest. A few missed calls from a classmate of yours. You couldnโt help but to press her number once again and after a few rings, she answered it.ย
โOh my gosh y/n, please tell me youโre on your way!โ
You furrowed your eyebrows, โon my way? what do you mean?โ
โDid you read the groupchat? The interview was moved to today at 10 am! They had a last minute announcement last night. I know the party was last night but did Jungwon inform you?โ
โWait โ are you serious?โ you asked, stumbling down on your own feet, you can feel your heart rapidly beating fast. โWhy โ why would they even move it to today!?โ
โI donโt know either! It still hasnโt started yet, but I feel like you can make it, just go!โ
The call ended and you can feel your heart beating fast. You glanced at your phone and itโs nine-twenty am. The supreme courtโs half an hour away and if youโre fast, you can make it with just a few minutes of tardiness.
But youโre unprepared. You havenโt had practice yet, and you know you couldnโt go to an interview unprepared. Itโll mess up your mind. You donโt even have any of the requirements with you. Your mindโs still throbbing and the remnants of last nightโs alcohol is dried up on your throat.
Yet, youโre desperate. You need to get on that interview โ you badly need to secure it or else, your future will crumble.ย
โFuck it,โ thatโs the only you could say as you left Jungwonโs room. You didnโt care to find his whereabouts. Hurriedly, you went towards the room in front of you, knocking so loudly that you know youโre disturbing their sleep.ย
โY/n โโ
โJiwon, Iโm sorry, I know itโs too early in the morning but they moved the interview for the internship today and I need to go there right now! I just need some clothes and can I borrโโ
โCalm down yn, calm down, Iโll lend you some of my smart casuals and heels. Do you want to wash up for a few minutes? Or โโ
โI just need to be there before ten or maybe a few minutes late, Jiwon, you know how important this is to me.โ you cried, voice almost pleading.
โDonโt worry babe, go! Wash up at least, Iโll wake Heeseung up to drive you to the supreme court, Iโll prepare the clothes,โ Jiwon instructed, giving you the signal to go to the bathroom.
After washing up for a short time, patting some light makeup, and changing into clothes Jiwon lent to you, the two of you scrambled downstairs. Thatโs when you noticed that their other friends stayed over to sleep in the living room. All are in their daydream, not even noticing the chaos you brought so early in the morning.ย
On the way towards the supreme court, you couldnโt help but to bite onto your nails. The music coming from the speaker wasnโt helping at all. Youโre nervous, and itโs stressing you out. Your heart is going to burst any moment and itโs no help that itโs already ten in the morning.ย
You donโt know what to blame. The program for the sudden change of schedule or you who didnโt bother opening her phone last night because youโre too busy with Jungwon. You wanted to curse yourself too. If you have pushed him away, then maybe you couldโve seen the announcement.
โWhat if I fuck up Ji?โ you nervously replied.
โNo you will not,โ the older female assured. โYou can ace this one!โ
โI hope so,โ you only said with a worried tone. โThis is a life and death situation.โย
You arrived at the Supreme Court an hour later. It didnโt help that the traffic was jam-packed that day. Parking on the side, you could only scream your gratitude towards the couple before scurrying your way inside the building.ย
โGood luck!โ Jiwon shouted, not minding that you didnโt turn around to wave back to them.ย
Heeseung drove away as soon as you entered the building, passing by the hundreds of cars parked outside, as Jiwon darted her attention on the view outside.
โBabe, isnโt that your family car?โ Heeseung asked out of blue. Jiwon glanced at the direction of Heeseungโs stare and was surprised to see a familiar red car parked nearby. Jiwonโs eyes followed through it, squinted hard to read the plate.ย
โHuh?โ Jiwon muttered. โWhat the hell is Jungwon doing here?โ
You were walking fast inside the empty hallway. Catching your breath as you turned left and you immediately saw your classmates by the waiting area. As soon as they saw you, they were surprised but a sorry look was all they could give โ thatโs when you knew.
โItโs finished,โ it was the only thing they could say as soon as you approached them. Thatโs when you felt your heart crashing into thousands of pieces.ย
โSeriously?โ you asked, hoping that itโs not true and the interview is still on-going. You were begging inside. Please. Just one chance.
โYeah, they had deliberated who theyโre going to choose, it was a quick process thatโs why itโs a bit unfair too.โ another one commented.
โIs it really finished? Seriously? What the hell, thatโs unfair!โ you frustratedly shouted, and they could only agree with you.
They explained to you that the other sections also werenโt able to get the interview. What all they can agree on is that the court was busy, that's why they couldnโt spare time interviewing interns.ย
โIf thatโs the reason, why did they even open the program in the first place?โ you complained, and they could only agree with your worries. Exclaiming their frustrations while youโre still processing the thought.ย
โWho got the slot?โ you asked suddenly.ย
All of them looked at each other wary, before answering. โJungwon got it.โ
There it was. Like a bullet straight to your heart. You can feel yourself tensing up, mind blanking as his name came out of their name.
No way.ย
โHe told meโฆheโs not going to try because heโs going to be busy โโ then it hit you. Like a knife deepening on your chest.
Jungwon lied to you. He cheated his way towards the internship. He made you confident that youโll get the slot when he forfeited.
He swore a promise to you and he broke it. Yang Jungwon broke his promise to you.
He probably knew last night that the schedule was changed, but he didnโt tell you about it, and instead distracted you and lured you to where you are right now. He sabotaged everything that youโve prepared for.
โWhere is he?โ
โI think he went to the restroom, itโs on the other side of the hallway.โย
โExcuse me.โ
Your footsteps were heavy, heels clicking and making noise against the marbled tiles. Your heart was fuming with anger and betrayal, your mind was filled with nothing but a mouthful of curses and thinking how big of an asshole Jungwon was.ย
And beneath those, your hands are shaking and lips are trembling. You can feel your eyes starting to get watery and youโre holding it back โ youโre not going to cry because of Yang Jungwon. No fucking way.ย
And there he was. You can feel your heart stop as he looks at you, bored expression and relaxed with his hands on his slacks pocket โ and that pisses you even more. Hurriedly, you strided over him, grabbed him by the collars and pushed him against the wall as your raging eyes stared at him.ย
โYou told me, youโre not going to join the internship โ you promised me!โ your shout echoed against the empty hallway. Your tears started to flow while Jungwon remained cold with his stare.ย
โHow does it feel? Getting betrayed by your best friend? Getting lied to by them? Hurts right?โ Jungwon asked instead, tone filled with bitterness. Like heโs been bottling his years of resentment to you.ย
You looked at him confused. For a moment, you didnโt understand what Jungwon meant. Too stunned with the fact that he broke his promise โ then it hit you. The years of him beating you at every competition. Your rivalry with him, the neverending game of each otherโs pride. It all makes sense now.
โIs this because I rejected you? Youโre still hung up about it? Jungwon, that was years ago!โ you shouted at him.
โItโs not about the fact that you rejected me, itโs the fact that you dated Dohoon weeks after you rejected me!โ Jungwon shouted back, and that made you freeze.
The hand on his collar loosened, realizing that he had found out. Jungwon looks at you with the same stare that he had given you when you rejected him. Eyes wide and angry, while the bitterness dripped on his tongue, like he was holding it back for years.ย
โYou think I donโt know? You think you can hide from me that Dohoon asked you out a week before graduation? Why didnโt you think I confessed to you all of the sudden? And then you fucking lied to me that youโll prioritize your study โ only for you two to officially become a couple a week after graduation.โ Jungwon argued.
โJungwon, I donโt want to hurt you โโ
โYou hurt me more when you lied to me, I can accept it y/n if you donโt have feelings for me!โ
โIโm sorry Jungwon, I was young and I was just so scared of losing you.โ
โWell, you already did. Iโm your best friend y/n, Iโll understand if thatโs all you see in me, but you chose to hide it from me,โ Jungwon sighed.
โI didnโt mean to hurt you, and Iโm sorry that I was so oblivious about your feelings to me,โ you confessed. โIโm sorry Jungwon, I really am. Whatever Dohoon and I had, itโs just a passing feeling. It didnโt even last that long, because throughout, all I could think of is that I hurt you.โย
โItโs too late y/n, the damage has been done.โ
โDid I really hurt you that much? Were you hurting so much that all you can think of was competing against me?โ you bitterly asked.
โYes,โ Jungwon coldly replied. โYou think this is just something silly? I have loved you since we were kids y/n, donโt you know that? Why are you so oblivious to my feelings for you?โ
โI donโt know!โ you shouted back. โAnd Iโm sorry if I was too oblivious to notice, but did it really have to go this far Jungwon? You promised me! And I know you Jungwon, you never break promises but all for it was just an act so that you can get back to me!โ
โMaybe you donโt know me anymore y/n, weโre not friends anymore y/n, have you forgotten that?โ
You stopped. Realization hitting you that heโs right. You two arenโt friends anymore. Heโs your sworn rival now. Nothing more, nothing less. The small hope that youโre holding on โ the one that you wanted to hold on until your hands bleed finally decided to let go at that moment.
โSo, this is my karma for breaking your heart.โ you started, looking at him with glassy eyes and trembling lips. โHappy now? Seems like you're satisfied that youโve ruined the only opportunity for me to get into law school.โย
You saw how Jungwonโs eyes widened. Of course, he doesnโt know about this part, and it felt just right not to tell him โ even if it means ruining some opportunities for you. Jungwon didnโt say a word. For the first time ever, he wasnโt able to articulate words when tears started to form on your eyes.ย
โI quit Jungwon, you won, congratulations, I hope you got what you wanted,โ you only said. And with that, you walked away from him. While he stood there, watching you disappear from his sight โ just like before.
-
Quietly, Jungwon went home with a heavy heart.
The once noisy and crowded house is now filled with silence that felt so eerie as he entered the living room. Everythingโs clean now and back to the way it was. Except, Jiwonโs by the couch, watching some series and as soon as her younger brother is within her vicinity, she closes the television.ย
โYang Jungwon,โ Jiwon said with a serious tone, standing up which made Jungwon stop.ย
โNot now noona โโย
โWhat you did was wrong,โ she crosses her arms, tone cold and serious, and Jungwon hates it. It was rare for his older sister to be this angry. โSo wrong, you destroyed y/nโs dreams, are you happy now?โ
โSo youโre siding with her?โ Jungwon scoffed.ย
โI am siding with no one, but what you did was too much,โ Jiwon pointed out. โYou couldโve just โ I donโt know, break her heart the same way she broke yours but this one? You donโt even care about law school! Youโre in a band Jungwon, but y/n? She needs that internship because itโs her stepping stone on becoming a lawyer, and you just stole it from her.โ
Frustrated, Jungwon could help but to shout. โRub it on my face, go on! I was a jerk, an asshole I admit it!โ
โOh I will because I didnโt teach you to be a selfish jerk Jungwon!โ Jiwon shouted back. โI didnโt mind that petty competition you and y/n have, I thought that itโs just an academic thing but this has gone too far! Why do you have to do that Jungwon?โ
Jungwon falls under a deep silence. He doesnโt know. Really. He doesnโt know why he did it. He thought itโll ease the grudge that he was holding against you. But it only felt like he had broken your heart once again.ย
โShe hurt me noona.โ That was the only thing he could say.
โUnintentionally, she didnโt know about your feelings, and youโre the one who walked away first from your friendship.โ
โShe lied to me, how many times do I have to tell you that? She told me that sheโll be prioritizing her studies only to find out that sheโs dating someone.โ Jungwon argued back.
โAnd she regrets it,โ Jiwon countered. โEveryday, she wished that she didnโt date Dohoon because she realized that sheโs just infatuated with him, and all she can think about is how it ruined her friendship with you. Do you even know that thereโs not a day where she still wishes to be friends again with you?โ
โYou think thatโll make me feel better?โ
โIt should be Jungwon, because Iโm giving you reasons, but you, youโre still holding onto your grudge and pride. Jungwon, nothing will happen if you keep holding onto that. Youโll just keep on blocking every opportunity for you to mend your relationship with y/n,โ Jiwon lets out a deep sigh before approaching her younger brother.
โYouโre not blocking her because you donโt want your feelings to get hurt again. Itโs just that you donโt want your pride to be stepped on again.โ
Jungwon didnโt rebut his sisterโs words. Too frustrated to answer back because Jiwonโs right. Itโs not about his feelings anymore. Itโs about his pride โ itโll only ruin him to lower his pride especially when heโs the one who started it in the first place.
Until the very end, he chose his pride but after everything, it didnโt feel like he won at all. It felt useless for him.
โIโm going to y/n, just stay here and donโt do anything stupid.โ Jiwon excuses, glancing at Jungwon who only had his head low.
With the small shut of the door, Jungwon was met with nothing but utter silence that killed him slowly.
Outside the house, Jiwon lets out a breathy sigh. Disappointment written all over her face as she hugged on her jacket lightly before walking towards your dorm. This is what sheโs afraid of. Your rivalry going too far that itโll end up hurting someone.ย
Jiwon hates it. She couldโve prevented it, but she chose to be a bystander, because she thought you two are mature enough to handle it. But it looks like sheโs wrong.ย
As she turns right to your dorm, Jiwon immediately notices that youโre outside your dorm. Talking to someone over the phone. Your eyes and nose were red from crying, streams from your tears dried on your cheeks while youโre still wearing the clothes she lent you.ย
Jiwon approaches you quietly, enough not to disturb your call. She was about to tap your shoulder when she froze to hear your words.ย
โY/n,โ it was the only thing she could say, and that stopped you. Turning around and surprised to see Jiwon standing in front of you shocked.
โJiwon,โย
โTell me itโs not true?โ she asked in disbelief. โYouโre moving to the states?โ
And the only thing you could do was smile at her bitterly. โIโm sorry.โ
-
You and Jungwon became strangers ever since that day.
No more rivalry, no more competitions, or nonsense banters. The results were obvious โ Jungwon won. He got the internship and instead of being grateful about it, it only left a heavy pressure on him โ especially when heโs going to balance it along with his career and studies. All for it so that he could get back to you.
You, on the other hand, blended within the walls. Jungwon had observed it. How you become eerily quiet, listening to the professors, and only answering questions when called. You tried to distract yourself, spending more time in the club room, finishing the article along with your other duties.
Itโs ironic but Jungwon wondered how you were. There was one time he saw you talking to Atty Yoon. It was serious talk and his curiosity itched, he wondered what itโs all about. He wanted to badly ask you, but he knows that he doesnโt have the right to โ and this time, he distanced himself for you.
The rest of the members noticed how Jungwonโs out of his mind during practice. He insists that heโs fine, but the three older members know that heโs hiding something, and it probably involves you.ย
So they took it upon their hands, and cornered him.ย
โOkay, what the hell is this?โ Jungwon asked, crossing his arms as he looked at his friends one by one.ย
โItโs an intervention,โ Sunghoon stated, and Jungwon groaned in response.ย
โNot you three too,โ he could only complain.ย
โI think itโs the right thing to do because we donโt hurt girls here Jungwon,โ Heeseung pointed out.
โI donโt even know whether to take you seriously or not.โ
โNo, seriously, weโre here to give you advice, man to man,โ Jay said in a serious tone before looking at the younger male. โWhat you did was an asshole move, but before we dive into that, we want to hear your side first.โ
โWhat do you mean?โ
โOh come on, open up! Just tell us everything starting from the very start.โ Jay gestured. โNo judgement, no opinions until you finish your story, weโll listen and we donโt judge.โ
โHe means it,โ Heeseung added.ย
Jungwon could only let out a sigh. Frustratedly, he brushes his hair before telling his side.ย
โI love her,โ he started, surprising the three with his words. โWhen we were kids, it was just a small crush, an infatuation. She was pretty, kind, and she stands up for what's right. We were together almost all the time. It surprises me that weโre closer than she and noona, but weโre just inseparable. She โ she even convinced her parents for her to study in Decelis High School because she doesnโt want to be separated from me.โ
He looks at his band mates who are attentively listening to his story. โIs it bad that I gave meaning to it? She stayed because she didn't want to be separated from me. She didnโt mind traveling an hour and half back and forth just to study at Decelis, and thatโs because of me, how can I not give meaning to it?โย
Sunghoon was about to speak up but Heeseung had clasped his hand on the keyboardistโs mouth. Jungwon didnโt seem to notice as heโs too deep into his worries.ย
โThat made me love her more, and I thought I stood a chance on her. I thought itโll be those cliches that we were friends who like each other but are just too afraid to ruin their friendship, so no one confesses.โ Jungwon lets out a deep sigh. โBut in the end, she only sees me as her best friend.โย
Jay winces at the words, while Sunghoon could only comfort his hurting self. Heeseung being the one whoโs serious at Jungwonโs story, gestures to him to continue.ย
โI made a mistake, I was wrong, thatโs all I know. When I learned that Dohoon confessed to y/n a week before graduation, I was scared that heโll take her away from me.โ Jungwon then remembers that day. That afternoon in the empty classroom, his confession, your rejection, and the fact that the bracelet is still hidden deep in his closet meant that heโs still holding on to you.
โMy confession was sudden, I know that. Thatโs why I am prepared for rejection, I just want to dump my feelings on her. But hearing her excuse, I couldnโt help but be angryโ the frustrating feelings washes over him again. โFirst, itโs because she didnโt tell me that Dohoon confessed to her, weโre friends right? Why did she keep it a secret from me? Second, because she gave me a shallow reason why she turned down my confession. Studies first? Who the fuck will believe to those?โ
โI do,โ Heeseung couldnโt help but to butt in, earning glares from the three. โLook, sorry I know we donโt judge in this intervention, but some people do prioritize their studies and think that relationships can be a distraction.โ
โYouโre missing the point hyung,โ Jay rebutted. โShe lied to Jungwon, itโs a white lie because she didnโt want to hurt Jungwon, she doesnโt want to reject him with the reason that she doesnโt feel the same way.โ
โAnd instead of accepting it like a real man, you decided to be petty and turned her reason for you two to become academic rivals?โ Sunghoon asked, a scoff of disbelief following afterwards.ย
โI felt betrayed,โ Jungwon defended. โI donโt need her to think about my feelings, I can accept it if she doesnโt like me back! Why did she need to lie to me?โ
โJungwon, you mean so much to her that she doesnโt want to lose you, thatโs why she did that,โ Heeseung explains calmly. An assuring smile forms on the eldest lips. โMaybe a part of her thought that youโll understand if she said that reason.โย
โBut instead, you made it into a rivalry,โ Sunghoon butts in. โDid it ever cross your mind why you resorted to that plan?โ
โI was immature, I want her to prove to me that she was telling the truth even though I know that itโs just a lie,โ Jungwon huffs out. โI was hurt, and seeing her getting frustrated and angry because I beat her at every competition, it fuels my pride. It just proves to me that I was right, but โโ
Jungwon freezes midway. โBack in there, in the supreme court, I know I crossed the line. I know it was too much. We made a promise, that sheโll give us good publicity in exchange, I wonโt participate in the internship. I lied, I cheated, and I got the slot, the thing that she was aiming for. I thought she would just be mad at me, curse me like she always does but she cried โ she cried because of me.โ
โOkay maybe this is the part that we judge,โ Jay interrupted. โJungwon, you broke your promise to her.โ
โI did,โ Jungwon said in defeat. โI did, I lied just like what she did.โ
โShe lied because she doesnโt want to hurt you, you lied because you want to hurt her, thereโs a difference, Jungwon,โ Sunghoon pointed out, and that only had sunken Jungwonโs shoulders.ย
โWell, you finally beat her right?โ Heeseung sarcastically interjected. โAre you happy with it now? Is the grudge on your heart gone now?โ
No. It never left. In fact, the pain became deeper. He felt guilty. His grudge never left and it only left Jungwon mad at himself, especially when he knew that he had gone too far.ย
But he couldnโt do anything about it. Not when he doesnโt know where to start. He doesnโt know how to approach you either. Itโs like the more you two meet, the more you two hurt each other โ and that thought pains him. You two used to be glued together, but now? You two canโt be in the same room anymore.
โIt just hurts me more,โ Jungwon could only say. โI donโt know what to do anymore, noonaโs mad at me, and Iโm sure you guys are disappointed with me.โ
โYeah, you did too much Jungwon,โ Jay heaves out a sigh. โBut we still wanted to be there for you, the only thing you should do is to turn things right.โย
โTalk. You two should talk and just communicate,โ Sunghoon added. โItโs important to clear things up.โ
โHow can I? Sheโs avoiding me.โ
โI think she had enough of you Won,โ Heeseung defeatedly said. โI think you need to give her space, let her heal the wounds. Itโll just hurt you two more if you two immediately talk to each other.โ
โI wish itโs easy,โ Jungwon said. Youโre like a breath of life for him. He couldnโt stand being away from you despite the anger heโs holding on to. He knows heโs conflicted, but deep inside he is still yearning for you.ย
โIf you really love her, youโll let go of her Won,โ Heeseung shared. โRight now, your pride and heart are fighting with each other, you have to let go of one thing.โย
-
The newspaper fell flat on top of the coffee table. Jungwon, who seems to be busy with his task, stops and glances at it.ย
There they are. Front page of the university newspaper. A whole page on page four will be dedicated to them, and only about them.ย
โI hope youโre happy now Jungwon-ah,โ Jiwon said with a serious tone while the younger male focused his attention towards the article.ย
You stuck to your promise that youโll give them a good exposure โ and you did. The article was concise and catchy. You highlighted their journey starting from being a university band shifting into an independent one, and now here you are, a mainstream band.
Despite being the youngest in the band, Yang Jungwon from the Department of Law seems to be able to catch up with the older members. Impressively, heโs even ahead of them. He controls every song and beats with his drums, a huge backbone of the band, considered as the last puzzle piece of Arcanum.
He continued reading his section โ realization hitting him like being poured with a bucket of ice. Even after everything he had done to you, you still made sure that Arcanumโs image wonโt be in a bad light.ย
Why would Jungwon be happy? Two weeks had passed and his sisterโs mad at him, his friends were disappointed with his actions, and he broke your heart, again. He still doesnโt know how to approach you. The only thing he could hold on was his pride. But whatโs to hold on when you two are strangers now?
โI am not,โ it was the only thing Jungwon could say.
โGood,โ Jiwon spat. โYou deserve it.โ
โHow long are you going to villainize me?โ
โLong until y/n forgives you,โ the older girl said, before grabbing her phone. โBut I guess that wonโt happen because you still couldnโt face her like a real man.โ
โQuit it, youโre just like Sunghoon-hyung,โ
โThen stop moping around and face her,โ Jiwon nagged. โBefore everything is too late and sheโll be gone for good.โ
Jungwon halted, his ears deafening at his older sisterโs words.ย
โWhat do you mean?โ
Jiwon didnโt answer.ย
โNoona, what the fuck do you mean?โ
โSheโs leaving Jungwon,โ Jiwon stated, and Jungwon felt his heart dropping on the floor. โSheโs continuing her studies in the states, and she doesnโt know when she will return or not. It depends on the future.โ
โI donโt know that โ she didnโt told me that.โ
โWhy would she tell you that Jungwon? Why would she tell the guy who she lost her internship to, that sheโs migrating to the states? Sheโll be scared that you might do it too just to beat her out of it,โ Jiwon sarcastically replied, and that deepened the stab in Jungwonโs heart.ย
โWhen was this?โ
โA few weeks ago,โ Jiwon shared. โItโs a great scholarship deal but sheโs hesitating because itโs in the states, sheโll struggle to adapt. The internship was her sign, if she doesn't get in, sheโll accept it.โย
Jungwon didnโt say a word. No wonder you reacted that way when he got the slot. You need it. Itโs the only thing that will make you stay here.
โShe doesnโt want to leave you Jungwon,โ Jiwon bitterly smiles, thinking about her friend whoโs leaving for good. โEven if you were an infuriating asshole, she didnโt want to pursue it, but you outdid yourself this time Won.โ
Shit. Jungwon curses. Thereโs no way. Heโs not going to let you leave the country. He has to do something about it.
โI got to go,โ Jungwon could only say, standing up from his seat and leaving the house in an abrupt manner.ย
Jiwon knows that sheโs not in the right position to tell but she knows you two. She had witnessed your friendship grow and crumble throughout the years. She was there, watching your rivalry unfold and quickly be ruined again. Sheโs not going to let you leave with a heavy heart โ and her younger brother wondering why you suddenly disappeared.ย
Jungwon stood outside your dorm apartment. Heโs been constantly bugging you, calling you nonstop, almost begging for you to talk to him. He stood there for an hour before you decided that heโs not going to leave unless you show up, so with the remaining pride you had in you, you decided to go down and face him.ย
โWhat did I hear from noona?โ Jungwon angrily asked, the moment you're near him.
You didnโt say a word but instead, you stood there as Jungwon stared at you like you had betrayed him once again.ย
โYouโre leaving for states? Youโre not going to wait until graduation? Do you really hate me that much?โ he asked almost in disbelief.ย
Of course. You only think. Jiwonโs going to tell him. You donโt know whether to be mad at the older girl but you let it slide. You know that she told him so that you two could finally talk, to clear things up and perhaps, for you to leave the country without holding any grudge against Jungwon.ย
After all, everything about this is about you now โ not about Jungwon, not about your rivalry with him. Itโs not to shove to him that youโre going abroad to study and he couldnโt. No more games and petty competition that was created due to an immature reason. Everything about this is for your future.
โThis isnโt about you anymore Jungwon, nor is it about whatever competition we have,โ you only exhaled. โThis is about me and my future, and I wouldnโt have done this if it wasnโt for you.โ
โWhy? So you could continue our rivalry? Jungwon, youโve won, you got the internship! Is that not enough for you!?โย
โI donโt want to lose you,โ Jungwon answered instead. โPlease, donโt go, please stayโฆstay with me, Iโm sorry.โย
โDonโt apologize now that everything youโve done caught up to you. If I stay, what good will it become for us? Weโre only hurting each other Jungwon.โ
โWe can start all over again, please, Iโm sorry โโ
โJungwon, itโs not easy for me to just get over it and start over again,โ You let out a deep sigh before looking at him. โI made some mistakes too, Iโm sorry for breaking your heart Jungwon โโ
You werenโt able to finish your sentence when Jungwon pulls you to a tight hug, arms wrapped around you that you freeze from your place. โI donโt care about that anymore, please, just donโt leave me.โ
You could only close your eyes, tears falling as Jungwonโs warmth engulfs you. You hate it. You hate how despite everything Jungwon has done to you, you still miss your best friend so much. You missed his touch, his warmth, and the comfort his hugs gave you.ย
โThis is for my future Jungwon,โ you repeated. โI wouldnโt have done this if only I got the internship.โ
โIโm sorry, please โโ Jungwon stuttered through his words. All his pride crumbled down in a snap, he was almost kneeling in front of you as the guilt had become heavier than the anger he had towards you. โPlease donโt leave me, Iโll decline the internship, Iโll make sure youโll get the spot.โ
โItโs too late Jungwon,โ you only said, and before he could say anything, you broke out from the hug. โI donโt see a reason for me to stay, my parents are moving too. We had already hurt each other. I think itโs best that we keep our distance from now on.โ
โIโm sorry,โ Jungwon apologized. โIโm sorry for ruining our friendship. For being an asshole to you, and stealing your internship after I made a promise. Iโm sorry.โ
โI have forgiven you a long time ago, Jungwon,โ you consoled. โBut the more I see you, the more Iโm hurt because I regret not reciprocating your feelings for me โ and it took me a year to realized that I love you, and I miss my best friend so much, and I was holding on to our petty competition because itโs the only way I could get close to you again, even if our pride is getting in the way for us to communicate properly.โ
โWhy are you telling me this now?โ Jungwon breathes. โWhy now? When youโre leaving?โ
โBecause even though I love you, Iโm still hurting Jungwon,โ you explained. โAnd I need space, I need a place on my own โ a life without you.โ
โThereโs nothing I can do to make up your mind?โ he pleaded desperately.
โNothing.โ
Jungwon became quiet. Thatโs when he knew that your decisions were final. Nothing can change your mind, not even if he kneeled there and bled himself dry. He had hurt you deeply that you had to distance yourself from you.
โWhat happened to us Jungwon?โ you asked. It was the question that youโve long to ask him for years. โWhy did everything lead to this?โ
โItโs me,โ Jungwon said in defeat. At that moment, he chooses his love over his pride. โItโs my fault, I was immature โ scared that the only person I love will be gone. The funny thing was, she did, but itโs because of me.โ
โNow, you really are going to be gone, I pushed you away, again, just like back then,โ Jungwon mumbled. โI never thought it'd happen again.โ
You only stared at him, โitโs for the best Jungwon. Maybe, itโs meant for us to end up this way.โ
โDonโt say that,โ Jungwon huffs. โWe were inseparable back then, weโฆwe couldโve been more than friends โโ
โIf only I'd realized it sooner,โ you bitterly smiled. โIโm sorry Won, Iโm sorry because I was too dumb to realise that my best friendโs in love with me โ that Iโm also in love with him.โ
โIs your love for him not enough to outweigh the hurting feeling?โย
You only nod, defeated, Jungwon didnโt say a word.
โCan I hug you?โ Jungwon pleaded, thinking that tonight will probably be the last time heโll get to talk to you. โPlease, one last time?โ
โOkay,โ it was the only thing you could say before Jungwon pulled you to a bone-crushing hug. You rested your head on his chest as he tightly held you, not wanting to let you go, head resting on your shoulders.
โIโm sorry, I love you so much,โ Jungwon cried. โIโm sorry if I hold onto my anger and pride, Iโm sorry โโ
โIโm sorry too, Jungwon.โ
โPlease, stayโฆIโll distance myself from you, just stay here.โ he persuaded once again.
โIโm sorry, my decisionโs final.โ
And the only thing you could hear was Jungwon soft cries as he buried himself to you, muffling his cries on your shoulder as tears fell from yours too.ย
-
Epilogue.
โYouโre listening to 101.3 mixed up radio station, here we are with the hottest band in the scene, Arcanum!โ the voice echoed through the radio station.
Behind the scene, the camera director signaled that the cameras were rolling. The DJ, Boo Seungkwan nodded as he smiled at the four guys sitting in front of him. Huge microphones in front of them, as they smiled nervously.
They introduced themselves one by one. Smiling despite being deep inside, theyโre nervous for their first live radio guest. The DJ was cheerful and light to talk with. He makes sure that every member gets to answer, darting topics from their journey up to their music. The segment was going well and the longer the talk was, the tension on their shoulders lessened.
โAlright, so weโre here to ask you guys some burning hot questions. Everyoneโs curious, whatโs your relationship status? Some say that you guys are in a relationship while others aren't, itโs also a hot topic that you guys describe your ideal type during your showcase.โ Seungkwan asked, glancing at the members one by one.
The boys laughed at the question, before quietly looking at each other. Gesturing the oldest to answer the question. โAlright, uhm โ weโre not going to deny it anymore, but weโre in a healthy relationship, well except for Jungwon, heโs still single and ready to mingle if anyone wants him,โ Heeseung teased, making the youngest glare at him.ย
โOh this shouldnโt surprise me given that you guys are so handsome! Itโs kinda controversial you know? Itโs rare for singers to debut while maintaining a relationship and exposing them immediately to the public,โ Seungkwan stated.
The members only agreed with the DJโs words. One of the things they negotiated with the label is their private life outside their career. Daydream Records wasnโt strict with romantic relationships, and gave them the decision to reveal their relationship in public. While they werenโt the type to flaunt their girlfriends at every chance they have, their fans are quick to stalk their personal social media accounts.ย
โWell, theyโve been supporting us from the start, itโs fundamental that we also have trust in each other,โ Sunghoon explained, smiling as he remembered his girlfriend.ย
โThatโs true, plus theyโre also the inspiration to our music, our fans love it to be honest, they think itโs romantic that we dedicated our songs for them,โ Heeseung added.
โThatโs right, from what I heard, your first ever composed song was dedicated to your girlfriend right?โย
Heeseung only laughed at the DJโs words but the obvious red ears gave off the answer. They remember the first time they performed it โ in front of thousands of Decelis students at the year-ender concert. One of the biggest crowds that they had performed.ย
โThatโs true, Iโm going to say that the lyrics arenโt that deep and itโs a bit cheesy but thatโs how I feel for her,โ Heeseung explained, smiling wider than ever.
โIf you want a small fact, Heeseungโs dating Jungwonโs older sister,โ Jay chuckles.
โOh! Seriously? Jungwon, what are your thoughts about it?โ Seungkwan asked.
โWell,โ Jungwon lets out a disappointing sigh. โI had no choice, they love each other.โย
The talk about Arcanumโs relationships continued, gossiping about how they met and where, the DJ seemed to be impressed how they all have different love stories. Commenting at how their listeners are probably gushing at how cute their relationships are.ย
โYou guys seem to really love them,โ Seungkwan sentimentally said, and the members only smiled. โAnd I can see that theyโre also a bunch of sweet and genuine girlfriends, thatโs why we prepared a surprise for you guys!โ
The members were surprised with Seungkwanโs words that they started looking around, wondering if their significant others are present in the set. Jungwon only laughed as the only single member, but his eyes wandered too, curious what kind of surprise the DJ had presented.
โHello love,โ a voice echoed through the speaker.
โOh my god,โ Sunghoon blurted out, surprised by a familiar voice thatโs always been a tune to his ears.ย
โOh itโs a voice message,โ Jay said in relief.ย
The members decided to become quiet as they started listening to their voice messages. Sunghoon was smiling wide as his girlfriend made the call after her hospital shift, soft voice encouraging him and telling him that sheโll be there to support him no matter what โ and sheโll be waiting at their home no matter what, making the keyboardist hold onto the ring on his ring finger, smiling wider that his eyes curved into crescent moons.
Jay laughs when he hears the bubbly tone of his girlfriend. Excitedly, she first shares anecdotes of their relationship, remembering that one time she kissed him in front of the crowd at the Rabbit Hole, a memory that seems to be a core memory not only for them, but also for the band. She then explains how lucky she was to have Jay as her boyfriend, a huge green flag she added. She warmly wraps it up with the sentence, โIโll be cheering for you my rockstar.โย
โHi Heeseung,โ Jiwonโs voice came last. Just from her voice, Heeseung can see her smile and that thought made him smile wider.
Jiwon expressed how she was there from the start. From their first band practice in their house up to now, and sheโs proud of what theyโve become. Sheโll be supporting them from afar and reminding them that the Yang residence can still be a place for their band practice. Her message wasnโt just solely for Heeseung โ but for the whole group, touching everyone's heart, while the vocalist only smiled at the thought of Jiwon caring enough for his band members.ย
โFor Jungwonnie, Iโll leave a message to you too,โ Jiwon spoke, a teasing laugh escaping her lips. โDonโt be hard-headed to your members just because youโre the youngest! I wonโt be there to nag you all the time! But noona will always be here cheering you on, Iโm proud of you always. I love you kiddo.โ From there, Jiwonโs voice stops. Jungwonโs smile never fades, heart touched by his sisterโs words.ย
โAt least I got a short message from my sister,โ Jungwon jokes, making the other three laugh.ย
โAre you sure about that?โ Seungkwan asked teasingly, โbecause while weโre listening to the voicemails, we suddenly received a message from someone. It says itโs from your best friend.โ
Jungwon stops, confused and wondering who it was. His heart started beating fast, and thereโs a small hope inside him that hopes itโs from you.
โWould you like to hear it?โ
Jungwon only nods. Eager, even leaning against his microphone like itโll make the voicemail louder.
โHi Jungwon, congrats on your debut and your radio interview. It seems like life has always been in your favor,โ there it was. Your soft tone that Jungwon immediately recognized.ย
โYou have always been so perfect in so many ways Wonwon,โ a laughter escapes your lips, making Jungwon smile. โDo you still hate it? Calling you Wonwon? But the nickname stuck with me ever since, so you have no choice about it.โ
โIโve known you ever since we were kids, you always love playing music, I never got to beat your guitar hero high score.โ a faint laugh escapes your lips, and Jungwon swore that your laugh was the prettiest thing he had heard today. โIt makes sense that youโll be in a band, Wonwon even though you can do almost everything.โ
Then, a deep silence followed after. From the other side, you stood in front of the glass wall, watching the planes take off while you waited for your boarding time. Your heart filled with regret but also relief as you clutched on your phone tightly.
โI just want to tell you that Iโm proud of you, for everything that youโve achieved. You deserve it, and Iโm pretty sure that thereโs more to come with you and Arcanum, and that makes me even more proud.โ
โI hope youโre okay now Jungwon, I love you so, so much, donโt you ever forget that,โ you only said, lips trembling as you choke back your tears while an announcement echoed in the background.
โItโs time for me to go, I donโt know what the future holds, but Iโll be here supporting you and Arcanum. Goodbye Jungwon.โ
The call ended. Jungwon was quiet as he thought of you. He doesnโt know what to feel hearing your voice. But somehow, he felt closure with it, and he was glad to hear your voice one last time before you leave the country.ย
โWow, thatโs such touching words from your best friend,โ Seungkwan softly said, touched by your message. โAnd of course! From your girlfriends too, before we close this segment, how about you guys give a few words for them?โ
One by one, the members sent their love and short messages for their significant others. Hoping that itโll reach them. All smiles and sweet words were given before it darted to Jungwon who gave the message last.
โHi, thank you for the message. I donโt know if youโre still listening to this interview, but I hope youโll be okay there in the states. It's a lot of adjustments, but I know you'll handle it strongly. Take care always. I love you so much, don't you ever forget that,โ Jungwon deeply exhales before smiling.
โI'm doing okay now. I'm glad that we're were best friends y/n."
