Alright everyone in. All service submission and domination kinksters huddle up.
I don't have anything important to say, I've just always wanted to do that. On to your regularly scheduled tumblr post programming:
I know some service subs are really shy and quiet but I do think asking your doms "how may I serve you?" when you want to feel subbier is an awesome and electrifying thing to hear as a dom.
And doms, I'm going to need you to not make the answer to that question about sex every time. Service does not automatically equal sex unless you as a couple agree that's what you want that word/phrase to mean. And also it can get boring. Your sub is asking because they want to feel subbier for you.
So choose something for them to do that allows them to serve and genuinely meets a need for you. And don't be afraid to challenge them from time to time, they want to feel like they accomplished something for you, just be mindful of any limits.
A good rule of thumb is choosing a sexual answer when you don't have a need. For example: if I am a bit parched when my partner asks that, I'll tell them to get me a glass of water. If they come back with the water and ask me again and I don't have any immediate needs then perhaps I'll tell them to get on their knees.
And if there is actually nothing they can do for you in that moment, you smile and tell them you need their company and directly tell them where to rest. I personally like them sitting on the floor, leaning against my leg so I can pet their head and massage their shoulders while I continue what I'm doing.
Alright, break. Go get 'em, team!
Yes! as a sub who is on the asexual spectrum, sex-favorable, but still not aroused by sex acts themselves unless there is a kinky aspect,
you do not always have to pick a sexual task for your submissive for them to feel they're being of service!
and furthermore: you don't even have to pick an inherently sexual task for your submissive TO FEEL AROUSED BY IT!
if you're not in the mood, make it work for you! let your submissive know they're appreciated, that they're sexy (as an essential trait), and make them feel as though they can do something for you, even if that doesn't mean the sexiest, filthiest, most erotic task.
even people in 24/7 dynamics are typically not aroused or having sex constantly. there are human/mammalian constants of the body, and one of those is the need for eb and flow. figure out what works for you and your partner, and please don't feel like you both need to perform in a way that isn't helpful or hot for your dynamic 💚
