poon slayer

i'm brooke and this is a compilation of humorous and important things that I have deemed humorous and important

[nowyoukno]

[ursulas-necklace-deactivated201]

its free

[h0wdare]

Can’t wait to see the fireflies meme on Twitter in approximately a year.

[overpricedvodka]

(Facebook: It’s Okay To Be Childfree)

“Congratulations - you just made a conversation about salad and hamburgers about the struggle of childbirth.”

TBH Parentfriends, I’m probably tired of looking at pictures of your kid every other day, so I just hid you from my Newsfeed, because what’s important to you isn’t all that important to me. Sorry, not sorry, no one’s feelings got hurt.

But if you start mommyjacking my posts, I will 100% make you cry into your keyboard.

[koivulehma]

#how unsatisfied are these people with parenthood that they have to validate themselves like this

[judgerinder]

i want to die

[movedanddeleted-deactivated2021]

you guys need to learn when to shut up

[baetology]

Sometimes it blows my mind that there are people that don’t wear glasses/contacts. Like they can literally see with no aid. Like they wake up and just be out here seeing. What a wild concept.

[bumblebeebats]

And people say stuff like ‘lol don’t you hate it when you look up in the middle of the night and see a spider on your ceiling’ like bitch (!!) i could have Nicholas II last czar of Russia hangin from my ceiling fan and i would be none the wiser

[aksldhfgaajdshgaslg-deactivated]

You’ve heard of Netflix and Chill, now get ready for

IMAX and climax

[blogfrenzy-deactivated20170507]

Blockbuster and cockthruster

[nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear]

Hulu and Woohoo?

[zackisontumblr]

Amazon Prime and sexy time

[zackpaslay-deactivated20190708]

Church and praying for forgiveness

[prepare4life]

NATO Standard Phonetic Alphabet,

The phonetic alphabet was developed as a way to spell things out over radio communications that may be less then ideal, I.E. a lot of static or weak signal. All the words were chosen because they have a distinct sound that is easy to pick out. Military and police communications use the phonetic alphabet heavily and can be helpful to know for talking over CB’s or FRS (walky talky) radios.

[stark-raven-mad]

I’m sorry guys, i had to

[moiras-damage-orb]

I cannot fucking believe it is the yEAR 2017 GOD DAMMIT

[three-of-swords]

The worst part is, I knew exactly what that was going to be before I read it

And I still read it

[kotenok-deactivated20240301]

maybe if I fall in love with my anxiety it will leave me too

[meanthoughtscheapshots]

I shouldn’t be laughing but wow this is great

[tylenold]

it’s not you’re* or your*. it’s all Mine. everything is Mine

[shittyidea]

Saying “don’t be sad” or “some people have it worse” to a sad person

[thelategreattownesvanzandt]

can u unfriend people from ur high school right after graduation or do u have to wait a year???

[loghains]

last night I dreamt that there was like a new meme/slang and it was ‘bode’ as in like bodacious so like ppl would zoom in on pics of rlly fat cats and it would just say ‘BODE’

[feedmerightmeow]

[gravegospel]

[orchoptitron-archive-deactivate]

[latexnun]

[deng-dong-deactivated20150421]

the gothest sentence in existence

[toocooltobehipster]

[kreuzader]

[fag]

*doing teacher evaluation* idk you but ive seen u around school and u seem chill hmu sometime rate: 9