BUNNY

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my online diary

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puppy love .... 𓈒 ❤︎︎ ࣪ ˖🧁

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Vintage Avon perfume, butterfly .... ও˖ ࣪⊹ 🌼

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5/7/26

I've been so stagnant lately. Partially because I've been so sick. More lately than before and certainly far worse. I had some sort of really bad POTS crisis I guess triggered by grieving and it has had me feeling like a little Victorian woman. I was even worried for a minute I might pass away in my sleep but it passed. (maybe I'm being a little dramatic but I was soooo scared!) my chest no longer hurts nearly as badly, I'm no longer as dizzy, winded or fatigued. Today some blurred vision lingers and I was pretty bad getting out of the tub. There's so many things on my chest right now but I refuse to look any of it in the face. I don't know how. Life lately has felt like some impossibly complex labyrinth I can't quite figure out. But.... I can't wait for my birthday! I can't wait to have cake! I watched "Flowers in the attic" for the first time after seeing yet another impossibly good looking man from the prequel series that I had to finally give in. (Why would they even cast max irons for such a diabolical role???) And Christopher senior?!!? Corrine is also so ethereal. I fought demons. Anyways the show had me sat for the drama. I really liked the themes of generational curses. I related a lot to the themes of feeling trapped in the book, having a narcissistic mother and being discarded by her. I've also been watching old movies and ones set in the mid century. I watched "outsiders" again for the upteenth time in my life and "Tammy and the bachelor." I love Tammy and the bachelor. This is getting too long so....

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Bunny bowls...•.°🐇♡

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Sunday, April 5th 2026

I left the house today for the first time since my brother's funeral. I went out walking to the stores but my real goal was seeing all that had bloomed and getting some fresh air. I was grateful I did. Easter has been so bittersweet, the tides of grief have been so strong and sudden but today I've also been happy. I've found so much comfort in my faith and the story of Christ consoling and weeping with a woman grieving her brother. I wore that cute bunny top I got myself for Valentine's day. dinner was good and I had a chocolate bunny and strawberries to eat and a slushy! despite how I thought it would be spring itself doesn't hurt, I've been glad to see the spirit of life renewal and hope. It has felt good to see gimmers of light when I feel so lost in despair in a dark and disorienting world.

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the polaroids from Easter in the 1960s america are my roman empire ૮₍_ ̫ _ ₎ა ♡

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i just want to walk, walk and walk until life makes sense again...♡

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March 15th 2026

It's almost been a week since the death of my younger brother, his funeral is in three days. The arrival of spring feels cruel now.

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Friday 13th 2026

I got what I wanted from my last entry. A snow storm, it was actually two weeks ago but the snow only started to melt just yesterday. Well ice more like it. when I first heard of the storm I didn't think it would come due to the extent of just how hard it was being hyped but...it did snow, a lot! I went outside but the snow was so hard to walk through I quickly rethought my decision and came back in. The short walk was beautiful though. It felt like I was in one of the ambient videos I always watch on YouTube. It felt like a memory from childhood. The sound of the wind, the snow brushing past my face. The world feels so silent and at peace when it's snowing and the next morning the sunlight on the snow is like a glimpse of heaven. Although didn't think it was possible for me to feel this way but I'm glad that the snow is finally melting. I hope it snows at least one more time but I do so look forward to spring and warmer weather. I love winter but it can be challenging if you're going through a hard time. tomorrow is Valentine's day, I hope I'm present with myself. I hope it's the last Valentine's day I spend in isolation.

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don't want a boyfriend this v day but a big teddy bear!! ૮₍_ ̫ _ ₎ა ♡

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need these sets like really bad! ♡