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Idk just rambling

[h3lloooooocha0s]

I want to see a collab between Kiki Rockwell, Lydia the Bard, and Banshee…

Like, badly. I’m afraid I’d froth at the mouth if any of these three paired together. Maybe Sofia Isella too.

Ugh I love feminine rage music ✨

[semolinaart]

Moonwatcher in the panelka

[h3lloooooocha0s]

MY SHAYLA

[h3lloooooocha0s]

I am in spain

I’m doing an animation, and part of it is growing roots

Holy shit, I’ve never done something more painstaking. I’m redrawing them all from the start each frame, and I’ve spent hours on just these roots

Imma kms

[h3lloooooocha0s]

What if missing social cues is like missing your cue in a play, and the reason it makes everyone awkward is because it’s you going off script in life

Say a neurotypical is someone who follows the flow of the script almost perfectly.

Whereas a neurodivergent doesn’t have the script like others, improvising their way through life and trying to fit in with a role that isn’t natural like the others.

Maybe that’s why we maladaptive daydream, because we want to make a script that fits us, a world where we control the narrative.

[h3lloooooocha0s]

I’ve been rewatching Deadly Class recently (I love that show give me more) which of course means I’m searching up Deadly Class here on tumblr.

Now I’m a big Harry Potter fan, always have always will be. And obviously I know about the fannon character Mattheo Riddle.

But tell me why— whyyyy the hell does Mattheo Riddle fics pop up when I search DEADLY CLASS, not even Marcus Lopez, just deadly class. Yeah sure it’s the same actor, but they are two completely different worlds. If I’m searching up Deadly Class, I do not want to only find Mattheo Riddle stuff. I want media about teenage assassins not spellcasters.

Again— I love Harry Potter, I love Deadly Class. But they are so completely different. Just Oh my lord PLEASE stop tagging them as if they are the same thing

[h3lloooooocha0s]

[h3lloooooocha0s]

I still think this post deserves more attention

[h3lloooooocha0s]

Nothing in my head just

✨ B A N A N A ✨

[h3lloooooocha0s]

Being self-aware/empathetic with anger issues is so weird because you want to just want to throttle people half the time but you know it’s irrational.

It’s like trying to keep a thunderstorm in a bottle, most of the time I just end up going to my room and crying because that’s the only way I can release my anger.

[h3lloooooocha0s]

Let’s talk about the rabbit-hole that is Pseudo-latin. Because holy, I just spent three hours researching and experimenting to come up with TWO FREAKING WORDS.

Basically half of the English language is Pseudo-latin lets be real, any word that isn’t borrowed from another language is based off of latin.

Like: history -> Historia

Sentient -> Sentia/sentire (feel)

Future -> Futurum

Etc etc etc you get it

But it’s so fascinating how this dead language that—let’s be honest—most people don’t understand, lives on in so many different forms. But then on top of that, Pseudo-latin comes around and is like, “hah, funny words, lets make them weirder” and you get stuff in fictional literature like legilimency.

(Yes I used a Harry Potter reference it’s my longest standing hyper-fixation)

All I’m saying is maybe we live in a fictional world as well, one where the author used Pseudo-latin to come up with the English language (and many others of course)

🧐🧐🧐

[h3lloooooocha0s]

Gosh I love the english language sometimes…

“or if it is as if”

😭😭😭

[h3lloooooocha0s]

Currently working on a fanfic…

Idk I had this crazy idea and my friends told me I need to publish it sooo…

Wish me luck! It’s the first actual fanfic I’ve written!!

[h3lloooooocha0s]

So I just watched Zootopia 2

(SPOILERS)

Tell my why Pawbert’s simple line of

“I don’t want to be different”

Hit so hard? Like- I DON’T KNOW I EXPLAIN HOW I FELT BUT OH MY DAYS

[h3lloooooocha0s]

“Are you alright?”

“Mentally or physically?”

“Uhh…both?”

“No.”

[beardedmrbean]

[theman]

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

[tattooedzombigirl]

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

[imanutcase-10]

Then bring me luck

[thirddeadlysin]

the day after I posted this last time I was notified that I was selected for a really cool mentorship gig and got an unrelated glowing review at work

[ropuszysko]

listen i am in the trenches rn i am not risking fucking up even more bc i skipped a tumblr chain post.

[h3lloooooocha0s]

I am not risking it. Potato of luck I put my fate in your non-existent hands. 🙌

[h3lloooooocha0s]

Lol just checking in I haven’t posted in awhile

I spent the weekend with my best friends, we all spent about two hours trauma dumping and crying. It was beautiful.

Feeing a lot happier now, still stressed as hell but I’ll manage. I hope anyone who sees this and anyone who doesn’t are doing well. I know I needed my support last week so here’s yours:

You’re gorgeous, amazing, beautiful inside and out (attractiveness is an opinion not a fact)

You can do this, if no one else believes in you then I do. I will always believe in you. Keep going, keep pushing, look back and see how far you’ve come already.

You deserve more than you realise. I love you ❤️

[h3lloooooocha0s]

I don’t even know whether I’m in the right or not anymore.

Yet I try my hardest all the time and somehow I’m still fucking things up.

I’m angry.

I’m upset.

I’m numb.

Wish their was a void I could crawl into and cease all movement until life washes over me. I’m done.

[h3lloooooocha0s]

There’s nothing like that kind of depression you get where you just want to stop existing.

No I’m not talking about suicide. I mean I just wish there was nothing. There’s no comfort for me anymore, I don’t want to talk to anyone anymore.

Wouldn’t even matter if did. Because somehow people still get mad at me even when they tell me to speak up. It took so much effort, I was so uncomfortable. Yet I said something anyway, like she asked, and then she lets go of me and walks away. Thats it.

Even my happy place isn’t happy anymore. Ever escaping out of reality doesn’t work anymore.