#self-aware

[st4ry3mi]

I WISH THAT I COULD LIE

BUT MY MIND GETS IN THE WAY

I KNOW YOU THINK THAT I'M

ALWAYS WAY TOO SELF AWARE

OH WE COULD NEVER BE TOGETHER

BUT IT'S NICE TO PLAY PRETEND

I WISH THAT I COULD LIE

BUT I'M WAY TOO SELF AWARE

[thepersonalwords]

Writing is an exhausting and demoralizing task that destroys human conceits. Writing an elongated series of personal essay opens a person’s mind to explore paradoxes and discover previously unrealized personal truths. Writing is as arduous as any trek into the wilderness. Every sentence takes a writer deeper into the jungle of the mind, a world of frightening inconsistencies created by our waking life’s desire that the world of chaos conform to our convenience.

Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad Scrolls

[h3lloooooocha0s]

Being self-aware/empathetic with anger issues is so weird because you want to just want to throttle people half the time but you know it’s irrational.

It’s like trying to keep a thunderstorm in a bottle, most of the time I just end up going to my room and crying because that’s the only way I can release my anger.

[lavender-butterfly-cookie]

Hey I got an idea for a crk fic if you want...multiple infact but they are a little similar yet different uh I'll just share one for now...or wait I'll combine them:

This one is a self aware au. Maybe y/n plays cookie run kingdom often and the cookies want y/n to live with them so one day...they bring y/n to their world via turning them into a cookie and that's when y/n starts living amongst them...like in the castle being completely cared for lol! Like the cookies absolutely adore y/n and shower them with a lot of attention...can imagine they'd be scared at first because well...plot of cookie run kingdom is filled with danger and they just got transported into a new world they aren't used to buuuut soon y/n gets used to being absolutely spoiled by the cookies and showered with affection lol!

Y'all are gonna need to be a tad bit patient with me till the 20th cuz exams are killing me. But regardless, I shall deliver (whenever I get the opportunity)

Showered with love and affection

Where does one even begin to explain your little predicament? You're here, sitting in a fancy elegant throne, in what seems to be an even fancier and more elegant throne room, in the most fanciest and most elegant palace you've seen. You feel odd, to say the least. Not long ago had you been brought into this world by mere cookies, who also turned you into a cookie, and not even five minutes had gone by since they started showering you with gifts

Were you panicked? Yeah, at first. I mean, this world wasn't all rainbows and butterflies like these cookies made it out to be. You could probably compile a long list how dangerous the place was. Also, you're a cookie. A COOKIE. You're edible! Well-... technically humans are edible but- NO THAT'S NOT THE POINT. You wanted to go home but when you saw how happy and excited the cookies were to see you, you didn't want to disappoint them. Especially considering how much effort it must've been to simply bring you here.

So you stayed. And throughout your stay you were treated like some kind of god/goddess! I mean, gifts at all times, beautiful and comfortable living environment, amazing foods provided by the cookies, it was absolute heaven! You could get used to this. Besides, what's the rush? You could probably return home anytime

...

right?

[sxpxrmxrgxr]

[momentsbeforemass]

Honest prayer

Proverbs has one of the most honest prayers ever, with this ask:

    Give me neither poverty nor riches; provide me only with the food I need;

    Lest, being full, I deny you, saying, "Who is the LORD?"

    Or, being in want, I steal, and profane the name of my God.

This is the prayer of someone who knows themselves well. All too well.

Someone who knows that they are able to take any circumstance, any situation they find themselves in. And abuse it, to separate themselves from God.

This is someone who is so aware of the danger that they present to themselves, that they don’t even know what to ask for. 

It’s like driving a car. The windshield seems fine. Clean enough to be able see where you’re going.

But turn into the sun, and you get a surprise. You get to see the real condition of your windshield. All of the dirt and bugs. Maybe even a crack.

When you start praying regularly, it’s easy to feel good about yourself. Spending time with God will do that to you.

But as you get closer to God, at some point you get a surprise. You get to see yourself against the glory of a holy and perfect God.

Which means you get to see the real condition of you. All of the dirt and bugs. Maybe even a crack.

When that happens, our natural impulse is to turn away. Because seeing our real condition isn’t something we like to think about.

And that is exactly what makes this such a powerful prayer. Because at that very moment when it would be easier to turn away, or not think about it, this prayer doesn’t even blink.

It says “God, you know me better than I do. How easily I can screw this up. Give me not what I think I want, but what you know I really need. God, I trust you.”

It’s one of the most honest prayers ever.

One that needs to be yours and mine.

Today’s Readings

[quiet-place-for-thoughts]

Self Aware Yandere Simulator

The head cannons I promised<3

You can tell I've had thoughts about this for awhile...

This doesn't include the 1980's version. If you lot would like that just send a request in!

Now onto the head cannons!

Ayano would probably be the first to noticed as she is the person you control so she's the first to start to pay attention to you and notice your existence. This would also mean YanSim did start to worship you in some way(not really like genshin though tbh) Ayano would be first.

About the worship, I don't really think very many who are aware of you will worship you as rivals like Megami would find you mental ill for even doing this and allowing it to continue, especially if you don't do pacific routes often. Though If we think about other ones like Genshin Self-Aware Worship you even though you technically kill others, so we could twist it like that but otherwise I think Ayano might look up to you quite abit as you in the way make sure she ends up with her senpai in the end. Again if we twist it like we do with some Self-Aware Things we could go with Ayano obsessing over you as she may see it as you being accepting of her and she could place large trust in you, which if I'm right is a reason way she fell for taro as she thinks he is trust worthy.

After Ayano might be Osana, maybe Taro, you might even consider Info if we knew about her routine and more about her. It wouldn't be the other rivals(just say they are in the game for this) unless you had a extreme amount of resets and they started to feel large deja vu at realise they have seen Ayano at school even after been arrested, caught murdering and etc..

Out of Osana and Taro I think Osana would notice first with the fact she keeps getting a feeling every time she sees Ayano, also if you do the same elimination method she would get deja vu from the fact she felt this happen to many times. She Would then probably start to remember the times its happened before but slowly.

Osana Might try and stop it but soon realises she can't as the game codes would enable her but she wont understand why she can't do what she wants. I think for her to become aware of your existence would be after a bit of being killed and/or being helped by Ayano she would start hearing this voice after getting close to Ayano that seems to be from somewhere around Ayano.

Now after She Figures Out your controlling Ayano and that Ayano doesn't really care about what she's doing and is infact wanting to do it, Osana could have a few reactions, if we go with what it think would be the most realistic reaction would be absolutely horrified by the fact the person who she guesses is in control is this, insane. Another reaction might be Horrified at first like the first reaction but instead of keeping that opinion like the first reaction but at a point comes to accepts this and starts to see you as this god or higher being that gets to chose their fate and they have no control, this leads Osana to have a small type of worship towards you, not heavily but still worships you as a god above them all.

Taro(I actually like his character but he is overdramatic compared to others) would be the same as Osana but obviously he isn't being saved and/or killed but its with having his reactions to Ayano being near one to many times, catching her murdering and fails like that. So like Osana He starts to realise its resting at times and remembers catching Ayano but like Osana he cant do anything about it, also due to the fact Ayano, A.K.A the player, is avoiding him he wont really hear your voice except from when Ayano accidently gets too close then Taro might hear your voice but its still not as much as Osana would. When Taro Figures It Out he will have the similar reactions as Osana but with the second reaction he will be quicker to like you as you never kill him, this applies for the first reaction he wont hate you as much as Osana but still hate you for constantly killing his best friend. You might say they would end up bring it up to each other subtly but like how they cant avoid Ayano or do any thing about it as the game code stops them, the same applies here as they wont have the ability to talk about it, unless they break the game code or they might be able to text about it but I'm not going to into these two things for this post.

There you guys go!

I hope you all enjoyed this!

Remember to drink water

Remember to sleep well

And

Remember your stunning, wonderful and amazing<333

Have a great day/night<3

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