When did being part of a fandom become so exhausting?
This post has been in coming for a long time. I want to talk about fandom policing and how tired I am of it. Literally all fandoms are so exhausting these days, because discourse and antis and fandom policers are everywhere. I used to deal with it by simply ignoring/unfollowing/blocking them, moving on to other fandoms, or barely interacting with fandom content anymore at all.
But, you know what? I’m tired of doing that. I’m tired of being scared to delve too deeply into any fandom because there’s bound to be antis. I’m tired of being scared to write and publish any of the fanfics I’ve been planning because “what if someone thinks that’s problematic?” We’re all going through some scary times right now because of the Coronavirus and fandom is one of the few comforting things out there - or at least it should be.
I’m tired of being quiet because I might get hate, so I’m going to make my stance clear now: Fiction is not reality. Someone’s fanfiction is not going to influence anyone’s sense of right and wrong. Fiction can be a safe way to explore “dark” topics. You can just dislike a ship or character without frantically searching for a reason why it’s problematic and why you’re morally superior for preferring another ship. Shipping isn’t activism. It’s meant to be fun.
The reason I’m making this post is because I kind of used to be an anti-shipper at first, during the times of Voltron and Yuri on Ice, when all of this discourse over “problematic” ships first blew up. And I want to apologize for that. I was naive and let other people influence me and make me feel guilty for the ships I liked. In retrospect thinking back on it makes me feel sick. Pedophilia is a personal trigger for me and antis throw that word around as if it didn’t mean anything.
And I’m also tired of the hypocrisy and subtle homophobia of it all - how it’s always the same-sex ships that have to be “morally pure” in order to be acceptable. If I ship Otayuri (15 and 18), then I’m “a pedophile”, if I ship Thorki (brothers), then I’m a bad person who approves of irl incest - but you never see that logic applied to published works or straight ships. Usagi and Mamoru are 14 and 18 respectively at the start of the Sailor Moon Anime, and they’re the most popular Anime couple of all time. Are antis trying to get Sailor Moon banned? In GOT, 20-something Khal Drogo rapes 16-year-old Daenerys. When I said it made me uncomfortable, people told me it was better in the book - she’s 13 in the book, so how’s that better? There’s also lots of incest in GOT. Somehow antis aren’t trying to get GOT or asoiaf banned. There’s one Marvel continuity where Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver (twins) are a couple. Somehow the fans who think Thorki is wrong don’t seem to mind. And don’t get me started on Greek Mythology and all of its incest. Hades and Persephone (uncle and niece) are literally tumblr’s favourite mythological couple and somehow that’s fine, but I’m not allowed to ship Thorki??? Just say you’re homophobic and leave.
And on top of all this, this has also lead to people literally making up “problematic” things about ships to justify hating them. I was once told I couldn’t ship Steve and Bucky (two adults who are not related and care about each other a lot in canon) because they grew up together “almost like brothers” and therefore that was “almost incest”. So apparently you can’t ship childhood friends anymore. Another time I wanted to write about Viktor and Yuuri (two adult men in a canon very loving and pure relationship), and I got hate for introducing conflict into the story and “ruining this pure ship with conflict”. So apparently you can only write about same-sex couples when they have no problems at all and everything is sunshines and rainbows the whole time. Sure, sounds realistic and not at all like you’re trying to keep queer people from creatively expressing themselves.
I could go on with examples, but I think you all get what I’m saying.