In each of the 24 hours within the 365 days of this year, I must say that you and I gambled every card that we had just to be able to ride this one way ticket journey to throughout year 2019.
It was filled with plenty of unexpected situations with unfortunate expected outcomes.
Let me begin with a crossover of a lifetime to this year, a shady road but here I ‘am at the last day looking at my feet finally in my destination.
I had a lot of “h” that i prefer to label it…
Can you imagine I had huge amount of hesitations in pursing anything and everything? I gave myself a bountiful benefit of the doubt that made me think less of one. There came a point that I felt like I was a walking time-bomb that could explode just with a trigger any minute of a day.
A day in my life when I was served with a “complimentary” gourmet style main course that I never asked for, sarcastically like a “in-house” kinda thing.
Which ideally made me thought of being a tribute from a district to play a sequel of the hunger games. To a point were starvation of oneself to make room for a lot of self-improvement, growth, worth, maturity, stability, excellence, confidence and a space to tons of tough fall backs towards a colorful success and victory.
Those unwanted “heartaches & heartbreaks” that truly ripped this self of mine into pieces. Truly, these were the long silent wars without escape, company and retreat that still hunts me till this very day.
Did I enjoy way too much?
That with a blink of an eye everything was stolen from me just like that. Imagine witnessing Queen Daenarys saying dracarys and everything was burned into flames turned to ashes to dust carried by the whirlwind of time.
Left with a memory but no longer with the same emotion I remembered it.
Indeed a cliffhanger season finale or more likely another scenario of Peter Van Houten ending a story at the middle of a sentence without a proper ending and indefinite continuation.
That made me came cross path with hatred an undesirable emotion that is a very uneasy feeling yet calmed me in a way that it was shared with tiny bits of joy.
that made me say ‘’feel free to hate me all you want, if that will make you happy it will be my pleasure dear”
I treasured dearly the most cherishing moments and views to keep, with a very particularly peculiar sentimental values hording photographs that makes me relived memories even without the same person, people, place and emotions I shared it the most.
Yet, above all I brought with me was maximum dose of hopeful spirit, I was so hopeful for many things to happen that I thought it will proceed with a favorable outcome even from a person to situations.
Likely I had a lot of selected favorites, it may not all make its spot but I’m truly beyond grateful to at least met surprisingly blessings in disguise that was exemplary marked His plans for me.
Nevertheless a fair share of genuine happiness knowing that I made it myself beat against all the odds, endured, surpassed and survived all, indeed a bitter sweet victory once again with My Father in Heaven.
For some of you out there letting go and leaving it all behind bars of 2019. Do so as you wish. But even then some of it will still be living within ourselves till the end of our time.
pixelskylines
dailybridgerton
tangentwithtanner
prguitarman
germansingergirl
