Perpetually Bored @hakdhdhjej - Tumblr Blog

I'm that person who pulls the shade up to take pics knowing perfectly well you're trying to sleep 👹 (at George Bush Intercontinental Airport)

Have never been around so many inspiring & intelligent women before. It was truly empowering. These past 3 days have motivated me to pursue my passions and to never stop learning, dreaming and doing, despite dismal stats- 21.7% of tech are women and 45% of women leave the industry after 5 years. I sincerely hope that all women, regardless of background, realize that if they wish to do so, they can build the future of the world through tech. #ghc16 (at Grace Hopper Celebration of Women in Computing)

#ghc16

I am

tolerant of any.

partial to some.

loyal for few.

#personal

conversations

I’m terrible at selling myself.

We sell ourselves all the time, or at least I see it as that. To entice and to impress with finesse. To show friends and strangers that we are worthy of being valued in society, whether through contributions in conversation or contributions in jobs. Us humans like having purpose. We want to feel like we are somebody in this world.

What I’m concerned with is my lack of confidence in feeling like somebody when it comes to verbal conversations. Talking about experiences is easy for me. I can give a decently comedic play-by-play of my fall onto the ground at Shook Shack, but watch me talk about myself as a person who knows or likes certain things rather than one who merely recounts experiences and relays emotions, and I undersell by about 70%.

Is it because I’m inherently humble? When given ground to start talking around topics I am informed of and interested in, I can do it. I can figuratively puff my chest, which is not a side-effect of the humble bug. Then perhaps the question that is subconsciously nailed to me is: am I fearful of witnessing my conversational partner’s eyes drift down towards their phone- their curiosity gone stale? The answer to that is still in the works, but it’s a plausible question, nonetheless.

In withholding myself for the sake of others, I have undersold my stakes as a human. A benefit of underselling, though, is feeling like a hidden gem. People are surprised- happy that there is more to me than anecdotes. However, sometimes, people go into hiding because they want to be found, and often, the wait can be too much.

wordsnquotes

accismus

(noun) An ancient word, accismus is defined as feigning disinterest and complete aloofness in something, while possessing a fervent desire for it. (via wordsnquotes)