L

any pronouns - to you, a survivor - • please feel free to talk to me anytime •

[halcyonnx]

To You

My greatest wish for you all ain't happiness, riches, success or anything.

My wish for y'all is to find contentment within yourselves no matter where you are in life.

Gold won't ever be enough and dreams change but if you learn to appreciate what you are, who you are and what you have, everything else that matters will follow.

Take care of yourselves! It's been a while.

[halcyonnx]

Hi everyone!!

I haven't been active here and I'm sorry for that but I guess this os my turn to reach out to y'all. I genuinely hope I was able to help you one way or another but I've been feeling so empty lately and I'd like to use this outlet to vent so if any of you have anything you could say to me to help me through life, I would really appreciate it.

I know that words aren't enough sometimes but maybe we just don't know the right ones.

Take this as a sign to be vulnerable, too! I hope you all find happiness

[clintscoffeepot]

“Depression turns you into a series of nouns, without the adjectives and without the verbs. You don’t remember where you misplaced your descriptions, your actions … You become: bed, shower, socks, coffee, keys, obligations.”— A Series of Nouns

[clintscoffeepot]

Real talk, I know a lot of you followed me for this post and I gotta say that I’m so grateful because through this one little post I’ve managed to meet so many people that struggle with depression like I do, so many supportive, loving people and I guess I just wanted to say thank you.

I made this post—just kind of threw it together, really— right after getting out of a particularly difficult therapy session. The Hawkeye comics have gotten me through a lot of dark times and I feel such a connection with Clint. I’m just grateful that you were able to feel the same, and I’m sorry for why you were able to feel it, because that means you’ve been through this to some extent and that sucks. It really does.

I guess the other thing I really wanted to say was that the adjectives and verbs come back, I promise you they do. Take those nouns and own them for now, because before you know it, you become “hell yeah imma go to bed because i can”, and "a shower will make me feel better” and “these are my favorite socks”, and “fuck yeah i love coffee”, and “where the hell are my keys?” and those obligations? They’re always gonna be there but sometimes they’re not as bad as you’d think, sometimes they actually are fucking amazing.

You, me, and Clint, we’ll all get better together. So don’t think those words are gone forever, you’re more than just a series of nouns.

[halcyonnx]

To YOU

Remember when the reason you couldn't sleep was because you feared the dark?

I guess it beats realizing you were more scared of being alone than the dark.

[halcyonnx]

So, who do you turn to when everyone else has failed?

[halcyonnx]

To YOU

For all the love you give and give, not now, not later, not tomorrow but someday,

you will be someone's first choice.

[halcyonnx]

To Myself

There was once a time when you could go for hours on end without a phone just to finish a book.

There was once a time when likes and other people didn't define your self esteem as much.

There was once a time when you could listen to people's problems for hours on end.

There was once a time when you came home and gave priority to the important things.

There was once a time when you were a better person...but you've changed.

I don't know if you'll ever come back, but I'm sure I'll learn to love you. One step at a time. And I know you're still a good person though the people around you make you doubt it.

Because through all the changes, you are the person that will always matter most.

[halcyonnx]

the coin 

Once upon a time, a wanderer lost

Found treasure and yet she knew not the cost

She held it close to her, not in full view

Of what the treasure comes with, not a clue

All wanted some of the shimmering gold

And she fought for it in the shivering cold

Though, they did not wound her veined, fragile skin

Because a knife to heart could give that win

She pondered the worth of all this pain

For this curse that she did not want to gain

So she bagged nothing and left it all there

And let the wind lead her to somewhere

And thus, a wishing well, she came upon

But alas, an offering, she had none

For the gold she had was left, scavenged

a wish not done between her and the well

She came upon a glint on the ground

A silver circlet sat on a dirt mound

So she picked it up and surveyed it

A coin, though precious, in a gold mound, does not fit

Yet the coin encrusted with bronzing rust

Gleamed with a newfound hope for trust

A treasure not like the one she found

This aging yet timeless coin from the ground

Was once a part of a mound, she assumed

Silver coins, protected and kept in a room

The unfortunate owner must've dropped it here

And never turned back for it nor shed a tear

Lost little coin knew the universe

Stuck in a mound, then left to rust like a curse

Lost little girl wandering endlessly

Not knowing what she might find or who she'll be

She gripped it tight and new hope was thee

In the coin that she found, yes, that was like she

So, maybe freedom was granted to them

When she let go and made her wish in the well

This is a little overdue, but I’m thankful everyday for the coin who granted my wish and the little girl who set me free, all found in one person. It’s not conventional but I really miss you, Cassandra, a piece of myself I gave up. Beatrice awaits you, always. ‘Till calypso hinders halcyon spiders. 15 counts since the beginning of life but 7,000 kilometers away from home. I know you can manage to hold on or let go when you can.

[halcyonnx]

To YOU

Hey you, I know you need to hear this. Life is tough but don't let anyone ever make a decision for you if you know in your heart what you truly want.

You may end up beaten or successful but you chose that and you will stand by that because that is who you are.

Don't ever allow yourself to be pushed by people 'till it drives you to a cliff. It's okay to ask for help but at the end of the day, allow yourself to make the choice and to learn or grow from that.

Stand by your mistakes or your success. Own them. They're yours. For as long as you know your heart, make that choice.

[xoxo-beatrice]

Just for a little bit…

Let me live this lie even though I know it won’t last.

[halcyonnx]

To YOU

You have so much love to give yet you give it to all the wrong people 💔

Please reserve some love for yourself. It's not wrong to give but you've given everything up, expecting people to return what you gave.

Sometimes, it's best to keep some on reserve.

You are the best soul who deserves your own love.

[halcyonnx]

To YOU

You are the greatest mistake, character development, downfall, blessing, happiness, critique, lover, family, friend, person you will ever have.

That's because you chose to make that YOU.

[halcyonnx]

To YOU

I don't know if you know this but sometimes the people you pour out all your love to are the ones who break you the most.

They take away the most love and leave you an empty shell.

And yet we still love them, don't we?

Maybe they'll learn to love you or maybe they won't...but know that if you've given everything, you've done nothing wrong.

Darling, if you have enough love to give to that one hardened person, than you have enough willpower to love the toughest person to love: yourself.

If you can dismiss the bad parts of that person and see the best in him or her, enough to love him or her, why not try it on yourself?

The love you give is null without the love you have

[halcyonnx]

To YOU

SOME👏PEOPLE👏 AREN'T👏WORTH👏 IT👏 IF👏THEY👏CAN'T👏 SEE👏YOU👏 ARE🙌

[halcyonnx]

To YOU

You're Pretty, Rich, Popular, Independent, Very Talented, Tolerable, Sociable

✅trying your best

✅a good person

✅learning everyday

✅allowing pain

✅HUMAN

You can be all the crossed out things but it will not make you human if you can't allow yourself to be flawed.

You're human, darling. We wage war because of selfishness, wrecklessly risk our emotions, overcomplicate a lot of things, can kill and feel remorse. We do a lot of things so impetuously but in the end of the day, no matter what motif we have, responisibility, work, intellectual motivation, or emotion, we are still human.

We allow ourself to learn with our every mistake because if we aim for perfection, we'll be living monotonously, in one straight line, process after process consecutively.

Live to learn, darlings.

[halcyonnx]

im sorry

[halcyonnx]

To YOU

Sometimes, the hard truth is we all need a lie to keep us going...but let's learn to anchor ourselves to what we know as well.

It's hard to live a lie and to keep going because of one