My heart belongs to me @half-a-somebody - Tumblr Blog

To my followers

Just wanted to let you know that this blog is no longer independent... It's going to be apart of Tranche! de vie, a very lovely MFRP group. So, you can unfollow me if you want or continue to follow me.

I don't mind either way. Just wanted to let you know.

SCREAMS

#Mod blog is screaming at me #Cool

#Holy fuck vision's blacking out #fucking pills #ooc

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The same track? What could he possibly mean with something like that, was she not understanding his words? she didn’t think so… she was more than sure, she was following everything, word by word… not missing anythign out at all…

But I didn’t want to give up. I couldn’t give up because I knew one day I’d find you again… Somewhere.. I didn’t know where, but I knew I’d find you again. I travelled for ages, hoping to find even a trace of where you had gone, but there was nothing.

Giving up?

My heart wouldn’t let me forget you, it wouldn’t let me just move on…

…Roxas… I—- am not sure if I’m right… b-but…

[ she got slightly closer, just slightly k ]

I love you.

[Roxas watched her for a moment, unsure of what she was thinking of what he said. It was a lot to process and he did repeat himself and it was awkward. Crap he probably scared her. At least he finally said most of what he wanted to. Those three little words still eluded him. Why? Well, sometimes when you say them, it makes things worse and he didn't want to rui--

---Oh.

She said it. She said those words. Kotone just said she loved him. No one had ever said that before so it was hard for him to grasp at first. But, he smiled. A dorky grin for that matter, but he was happy to hear her say that. More than happy actually! Just, hard for him to really fathom.

He moved closer to her, still smiling of course and not like, creepily close. He stared into her eyes to see if what she said was true. No way she was lying... Not that he could see. This only made him smile more as well as confirming his thoughts. He just wished he could have told her sooner.]

I love you too Kotone.

#oh well then #fuq u 2 bby #soul-#SCREAMING #Bay needs to collect icons

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I think I understand everything quite well, it’s okay.

Yeah… its okay my ass… who ever got him was lucky as hell…. sigh…

[That tone was awfully familiar... She didn't get it. Misinterpreted what he meant. He didn't want her to think something else about what he said, if she really did so, maybe it was just easier to explain what he was thinking. It was long over due as it is, but... Embarrassing.]

L-look Kotone... I'm going to explain something real quick okay...? J-just to make sure we're on the right track and... Stuff.

What I mean was that... I've been looking for you for a very long time now.. Ever since you disappeared, I haven't known what to do with myself and I was more alone than I've ever felt before. W-which is saying something given what I am. I was starting to lose hope that I'd never see you again...

But I didn't want to give up. I couldn't give up because I knew one day I'd find you again... Somewhere.. I didn't know where, but I knew I'd find you again. I travelled for ages, hoping to find even a trace of where you had gone, but there was nothing.

I thought you hated me.

I thought you never wanted to see me again and that's why you left without a word. There were so many questions unanswered, so many things unsaid... I just... Couldn't bare to see it end like that. After so long of searching for you, I found you today crying a-and I don't even know why, but there you were and you were back in my life... I couldn't be happier. My heart wouldn't let me forget you, it wouldn't let me just move on... I wanted to know that you were okay...

I missed you Kotone... A lot a-and I don't want to lose you again. I'd do anything to make sure that you were okay. To know that wherever you were, you were happy.. Y-you mean a lot to me Kotone... More than three little words can really express...

[Roxas looked down at the ground, his cheeks burning. He wasn't one to usually say stuff like that but, well... It had been too long and these thoughts were bottled up for quite sometime. He just prayed he didn't scare her.]

#soul-#Why the hell are you letting drugged up Bay write #WHY

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Ah, there was someone important enough to make him walk around the earth?…

Sometimes, yeah… some people are really lucky aren’t they?

Of course, she would never be good enough to make someone do that for her, because she was dumb… and it wasn’t even like she would ever expect anyone to do it… because, she knew she was just not that kind of girl, for anyone.. so it didn’t really matter in the end.

[Oops. Looks like she didn't get it. Was he going to have to say it bluntly? Yup. It looked that way. It made his face go a bright pink, his fidgeting becoming more apparent. Did he have to explain it? Couldn't she just, y'know get what he meant right off the bat and find the hidden meaning in his words.

Nope? Go figure. Roxas just wasn't that lucky today, but oh well. He counted his blessings of even finding her again. Good start! Now he just had to find a way to tell her stuff without scaring her.]

... Kotone... I-I umm...

I-I think you missed what I was trying to say...

#half-a-somebody

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Oh? Was this really him? It seemed so, he was being actually really nice to her, just like he was back then when they met, and could see each other often… and he didn’t seem to forget about her.

Of course I haven’t forget about you… why would I?

She was not really flustering was she? No, she was perfectly fine, and nothing was wrong… after all it was the first time she saw him in a long time…

You can’t really forget about the people you love, right?

[Roxas couldn't help but chuckle to himself. Looks like some things never change, no matter how long the time apart has been. It made him happy to know she was the Kotone he was looking for and still as sweet and dorky as ever.

He realized what he had said to her. Whoops. That.. That was a little embarrassing. Of course he meant it, but he'd never really said stuff like that before so it was a little strange in his opinion. Hopefully she didn't think he was a creep or anything.]

I-I... I was afraid that it wasn't you o-or maybe that I had been gone too long...

[Well he actually didn't know why he had thought she forgot him. He was just kind of talking without thinking. That could be a bad thing, but well, it meant he was nervous for whatever reason. Yup. Just spilling whatever came to mind.]

L-love huh...? [How did she mean that? Did she mean as a friend or something more? It confused Roxas right off the bat and made him fidget. He was even more nervous than before since he wasn't sure how to answer her! And of course, when he tried, his voice cracked and made him sound dumb. Yup.]

Heh... Guess you're right. The heart makes you do stupid things because of love... It'll make you travel to the ends of the earth just to find the person who means the most to you...

I'm sorry... That I took so long to find you again Kotone....

#half-a-somebody

#I'm not sure why but I have a glasses icon of Roxas |:#If it was zoomed in more it'd match Kotone's #oops #ooc

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No, its not really calming her down, because the whole stroking thing was something Silver randomly made up one day, for RainbowDash to make Kotone stop picking on her… but then again, RainbowDash didn’t have hands to try it out did she? Which ever the real reason, people started to actually believe stroking her hair would make her feel better, this time at least, actually somehow calmed her down, she wasn’t feeling so alone… for some strange reason, she didn’t quite understand why though…

She took a step away from the person and wiped her tears, she suddenly felt really stupid of everything she was saying, it had no point in going around bothering someone with all of this… and after taking a deep breath… she finally opened her eyes…looking up at the other one.

Roxas, you’re here.

[As the moments went by Roxas felt that Kotone's sobs and tears were dwindling down meaning she was finally starting to calm herself. It usually didn't take this long for her to stop crying, so she must have been really bothered by whatever it was she was thinking of. Best not to bring that up now that she was done crying. Even if he only helped a bit, it put his mind at ease to know she was okay.

He was a little upset when she pulled away from him though, though he had expected it. Couldn't exactly just.. Hold her forever as much as he wanted to. That'd just be creepy. Pretend he didn't think that. Nope. Didn't happen. But now, her eyes were open. He could see those familiar brown eyes once more. It put a smile on his face. Not only that, but she finally knew who he was.]

Yeah of course I am...

(Sort of... I'm not really sure where 'here' is...)

I-I was starting to think.. You didn't remember me.

#soul-

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But she didn’t do much more than cling onto the person who was there, whoever that one was, found her in a bad moment, and being the way she was, she didn’t really want to open her eyes to see who was standing there trying to comfort her, though, she was sure of one thing, this person wasn’t Silver… it would never be the Rival, and this one wasn’t Gold either… she was unsure of who this was, nor she was really trying to find out, because she didn’t want them to look at them and then being point out of weak, even when she really was…

I’m crying because I’m weak, and I can’t do things right, and I also can’t find a home, because I’ve been wandering around my entire life, and I don’t know how to make people stay anymore.

And because nothing I do, is enough… I’m sorry.

[It would appear that she wouldn't notice who it was till she was done crying. That was fine with him... Sort of. Sure, he'd like her to notice who he was rather than crying on him, but she needed time to do that and that was time he was more than willing to give up for her. Actually, he'd give anything for her, but that was a topic for another day. Or.. Later. He wasn't really sure.

In any case, Roxas smiled. Kotone was being silly again with her doubtful thoughts. Why did she always think of these things? None of it was true and they both knew it. Some things she would never learn he assumed. In turn, he placed his hand on her head, stroking her hair as he spoke. That was usually calming, right? He would go with that.]

Shhh Kotone... You know that's not true...

You're a wonderful person who does the best at anything you try and do. You're not weak by any means, you just.. Have your moments is all. Everyone does, so don't think a few tears is going to make you weak... Your home... Is wherever you make it. It doesn't have to be a specific place, it can be anywhere you want it to be...

I don't know who you're trying to make stay, but I'm here for you and I'm sure the others you're thinking of are too... You do more than enough for others. Take some credit for what you do... Oh. And don't be sorry...

You know I'm always here for you when you need me Kotone.

#soul-#whoop sentimental crap

aonomeister started following you

-nelliel-tu-odelschwanck started following you

...?

Hello there. Who might you be?

#-nelliel-tu-odelschwanck #aonomeister #Just warning you.. I am independent ): If you still want to talk with me #Feel free to #Okay? ;w;

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But running away wasn’t the answer, was it? She never really ran away from her life or her problems, because she would always have to travel around the world, so who would care if she had to go, because that was life in the end, at least for her, life was not staying forever… and she just wanted to be happy, and be a good trainer, maybe she would never be like Red, who was she kidding, she would never be as good, because there was only one of a kind, and that one was him, and she was content with the idea, but the illusion of some day being good enough, would keep her going during the long cold nights, so she wouldn’t stop.

I don’t understand, why I have to be so weak, to make people hate me, I don’t want to anymore, it hurts…

Kotone continued to cry, to memories that never existed, because she never belong to any place, she was nothing but a leaf the wind would carry around the world, without really living a mark of it’s path on it, or the memory of her existence. Nothing really seemed to have the power to comfort her, because something broke inside her, and she didn’t know how to fix it… she just felt really alone….. and then…

She stood up and didn’t do much more than hold onto the person who asked because the voice sounded familiar, but she might as well just be hallucinating.

I don’t want to be alone anymore. Save me.

[It was almost like he was in a dream at this point. After months and months of being alone, there was someone before him. Though, she was upset, she was still as real as could be. This had to be a hallucination of some kind. Perhaps caused by exhaustion from his aimless journeys or something he had eaten. Or rather, not eaten. But, here she was. The girl he had been searching for for such a long time. It had to be her. Only she would do something like this. Going off on her own into a secluded place to cry rather than being around someone. She was so silly sometimes and.. He missed it.

The doubt he had in the back of his mind soon left the closer and closer he got to her. There wasn't any more second guessing if it was his Kotone or not, where he was or how he had gotten there. He wasn't going to question how he even found her in the first place because that didn't matter to him. What was important right now to him was that she was crying and needed someone there for her.

And he'd be there for her, even if... She didn't want him to be.

Roxas felt her latch onto him, crying into his shirt. Whatever was upsetting her really must have been important to her or was truly terrible. If someone had hurt her, he would do something about that, there's no doubt! But, that was for later.

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling him closer to her. Surely this would show Kotone he was really here. Surely she'd acknowledge him as who he was... But her tears were blinding her. Go figure.. Hopefully she'd recognize who this person before her was.]

... But... You're not alone Kotone...

I'm here... If you want me to be. Now... Why are you crying...?

[He half smiled, chuckling to himself. (Why is it.. Every time we're apart, the next time I see you you're always crying...? Why can't I be there for you when you need me... Not when it's already over.) These thoughts were quite depressing for him, but they held truth he didn't like to think of.]

#soul-

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You can never be strong enough, you can never be weak enough… you can’t ever be enough, even for pain or happiness there’s always not enough… there’s always one step further… and you are yet to achieve it. There’s nothing eternal, and it seems you’ve forgotten this. Because everything seems eternal, and ever step you’ve taken seems to only drive you backwards in life. And the process seems eternal the results lack to appear, and patience was never virtue of yours.

So instead you sat down and clung to what you thought could believe in. You can’t really run away anymore. You know, because this makes you real. Pain, is anything the world will recognize. And you’re great hiding it aren’t you?

Lose yourself in the smile and fool the world with it, because nothing lasts a forever.

And this is what you are, nothing but a weak trainer who dreamed of the world one day, and decided to leave home at a young age, it’s been 5 years since, and you’re yet to achieve that dream, because you’re not strong enough, what have you done all this time? You didn’t do much it seems.

Loneliness is needed, can’t you see it? The very best, got himself to top of that mountain, just him away from the world, where no one would reach his heart, far away from the population, where dreams seem to actually come true. Is your weak humanity taking you away from what you want in life? There’s no such thing as pain, but there is. And you have faced it quite often, didn’t you?

Life will seem eternal, and no one can see you’re actually trying to drown yourself, because you’re ready to give up. No one can save you, not even yourself, there’s no way to save yourself, why would they? Why would you? Life is the prize only strong people deserve, and so… you live your life everyday, like nothing scarred you. Because you didn’t want to believe it, because the way they looked at you didn’t scare you, and their words to bring you down didn’t affect you, right?

Or so, you wanted them to believe, because as long as you smiled, there was no such thing as pain, and you needed nothing, because if you smiled the world would believe it, they would actually buy it and walk away, because you knew no one would actually stay, and why did you know all of this? Because you pokemon trainer, were born to be alone.

But it’s okay to be weak here, because in the middle of the forest there’s no one to point it out, and you don’t have to seem happy for anyone anymore, you can just sit down and cry, because you’re lost, because you can’t find your way back home… Yeah, you can cry without feeling regret or any guilt. So go ahead and cry to the memories of moments that never existed.

I don’t want to be alone anymore.

[It had been quite sometime since the blonde nobody had gone out to venture on his own. There were many reasons for why he had been out of commission as of late. His main reason? He was alone in the world now. No one was by his side, there was no one for him to talk with.. Just... Emptiness. Normally, this would not bother him given what he was, but after all he had been through and all the people he had met... It was sickening. Heartbreaking so to speak and he couldn't stand it anymore.

He missed the friends he had made. Where did they go? Why had they abandoned him like that...? Did they not care about him anymore? Had he done something to hurt them? No. That couldn't be true... Roxas treated his friends dearly and would do anything for them. Heck, he even treated Silver like a friend every now and again!

Was that all gone forever now...? He refused to believe it. There was no chance in this world that he would allow such a thing to happen. Even if it killed him, he would find his friends again. It just meant a long, boring, and lonely venture for him. Where would he begin though? They had left without a trace in the world. Perhaps... They went back to their own world? But if they did, why wouldn't they at least say goodbye...?

These thoughts were tearing apart his 'heart' and it was damn near enough to make the blonde cry. He didn't want to, but he missed them so much. What he had to endure, and endure alone...

Was torture.

In his mind, there was the faint sound of a familiar voice of someone very special to him. Someone he cared for deeply and would do anything to see... Hear her voice once again, even if she was just saying hello. Something would be better than nothing... (Who would have thought... That someone without a heart could care so much for someone else...) Roxas looked up at the sky, sighing to himself. (Kotone... Where are you?)

Now, where was he? Roxas had been walking so long he hadn't paid much mind to where he had ended up. It.. Wasn't familiar by any means, nor did he recognize any of the individuals walking amongst the place. How strange. He shook it off as nothing; just another place with no signs of who he was searching for... This was leading him towards the forest. Maybe some quiet time alone--- fuck who was he kidding?! This boy had enough of that bullshit.

But, he ventured any way as if he was drawn to it. Why? Not a clue to be quite honest. Though, upon his wandering he did come across something he did not expect. There was a girl. Not just any girl, but... It looked like her. Not sure if he was finally losing his mind or not, Roxas stepped closer to the girl, trying to get a better look at her. Her childish pigtails, her oversized hat, and tears he never wished to see again. His 'heart' stopped. It.. It had to be her. But was it the same girl he had met long ago...? Time to find out.]

... Why are you crying...?

[It was the first thing that slipped out of his mouth. He couldn't help it. He had to know why! Even if it wasn't her, he hated to see girls cry.. But if it was her, he wanted to find a way to make her happy again. (Kotone... Please be you...) If it really was her, he wasn't sure how he'd react. It'd be a mixture of things, but he feared that he'd cry in front of her. Time would tell.]

#Fuq this shit #I'm RPing with you #soul-