You can never be strong enough, you can never be weak enough… you can’t ever be enough, even for pain or happiness there’s always not enough… there’s always one step further… and you are yet to achieve it. There’s nothing eternal, and it seems you’ve forgotten this. Because everything seems eternal, and ever step you’ve taken seems to only drive you backwards in life. And the process seems eternal the results lack to appear, and patience was never virtue of yours.
So instead you sat down and clung to what you thought could believe in. You can’t really run away anymore. You know, because this makes you real. Pain, is anything the world will recognize. And you’re great hiding it aren’t you?
Lose yourself in the smile and fool the world with it, because nothing lasts a forever.
And this is what you are, nothing but a weak trainer who dreamed of the world one day, and decided to leave home at a young age, it’s been 5 years since, and you’re yet to achieve that dream, because you’re not strong enough, what have you done all this time? You didn’t do much it seems.
Loneliness is needed, can’t you see it? The very best, got himself to top of that mountain, just him away from the world, where no one would reach his heart, far away from the population, where dreams seem to actually come true. Is your weak humanity taking you away from what you want in life? There’s no such thing as pain, but there is. And you have faced it quite often, didn’t you?
Life will seem eternal, and no one can see you’re actually trying to drown yourself, because you’re ready to give up. No one can save you, not even yourself, there’s no way to save yourself, why would they? Why would you? Life is the prize only strong people deserve, and so… you live your life everyday, like nothing scarred you. Because you didn’t want to believe it, because the way they looked at you didn’t scare you, and their words to bring you down didn’t affect you, right?Â
Or so, you wanted them to believe, because as long as you smiled, there was no such thing as pain, and you needed nothing, because if you smiled the world would believe it, they would actually buy it and walk away, because you knew no one would actually stay, and why did you know all of this? Because you pokemon trainer, were born to be alone.
But it’s okay to be weak here, because in the middle of the forest there’s no one to point it out, and you don’t have to seem happy for anyone anymore, you can just sit down and cry, because you’re lost, because you can’t find your way back home… Yeah, you can cry without feeling regret or any guilt. So go ahead and cry to the memories of moments that never existed.Â
I don’t want to be alone anymore.
[It had been quite sometime since the blonde nobody had gone out to venture on his own. There were many reasons for why he had been out of commission as of late. His main reason? He was alone in the world now. No one was by his side, there was no one for him to talk with.. Just... Emptiness. Normally, this would not bother him given what he was, but after all he had been through and all the people he had met... It was sickening. Heartbreaking so to speak and he couldn't stand it anymore.
He missed the friends he had made. Where did they go? Why had they abandoned him like that...? Did they not care about him anymore? Had he done something to hurt them? No. That couldn't be true... Roxas treated his friends dearly and would do anything for them. Heck, he even treated Silver like a friend every now and again!
Was that all gone forever now...? He refused to believe it. There was no chance in this world that he would allow such a thing to happen. Even if it killed him, he would find his friends again. It just meant a long, boring, and lonely venture for him. Where would he begin though? They had left without a trace in the world. Perhaps... They went back to their own world? But if they did, why wouldn't they at least say goodbye...?
These thoughts were tearing apart his 'heart' and it was damn near enough to make the blonde cry. He didn't want to, but he missed them so much. What he had to endure, and endure alone...
In his mind, there was the faint sound of a familiar voice of someone very special to him. Someone he cared for deeply and would do anything to see... Hear her voice once again, even if she was just saying hello. Something would be better than nothing... (Who would have thought... That someone without a heart could care so much for someone else...) Roxas looked up at the sky, sighing to himself. (Kotone... Where are you?)
Now, where was he? Roxas had been walking so long he hadn't paid much mind to where he had ended up. It.. Wasn't familiar by any means, nor did he recognize any of the individuals walking amongst the place. How strange. He shook it off as nothing; just another place with no signs of who he was searching for... This was leading him towards the forest. Maybe some quiet time alone--- fuck who was he kidding?! This boy had enough of that bullshit.
But, he ventured any way as if he was drawn to it. Why? Not a clue to be quite honest. Though, upon his wandering he did come across something he did not expect. There was a girl. Not just any girl, but... It looked like her. Not sure if he was finally losing his mind or not, Roxas stepped closer to the girl, trying to get a better look at her. Her childish pigtails, her oversized hat, and tears he never wished to see again. His 'heart' stopped. It.. It had to be her. But was it the same girl he had met long ago...? Time to find out.]
... Why are you crying...?
[It was the first thing that slipped out of his mouth. He couldn't help it. He had to know why! Even if it wasn't her, he hated to see girls cry.. But if it was her, he wanted to find a way to make her happy again. (Kotone... Please be you...) If it really was her, he wasn't sure how he'd react. It'd be a mixture of things, but he feared that he'd cry in front of her. Time would tell.]