just another hopeless soul

you should read, cause i write.

[halfvillainhalfhero]

love.

i just had an epiphany...

for the longest time i wanted to be loved. i kept waiting and pining on the same person for almost a decade and on a random night I was checking my phone and found a message request. i wasn't planning on answering but i did but i know she knew it wasn't a conversation i wanted to have so i just answered with the most uninterested response but out of the blue she replied and wanted to call and asked for 5 mins but ended up talking to me for an hour. that's when i knew.. this could be the beginning of the end. in retrospect, i wouldn't have done anything differently... it ended my 7 years of waiting and gave me 3 amazing years with one of the best people i've ever met. but what was the epiphany?

that maybe unrequited love was something easier to recover from even if it lasted longer. because i always knew i never stood a chance. but love, with you, what we had was reciprocated until it wasn't. it was love until it wasn't and it was real and it was beautiful and tragic at the same time. thank you for letting me experience that kind of love. thank you for making me feel that i was worthy to be loved. i am now starting a different chapter in my life but love, no matter how tragic, how messy and how long it would take for me to heal from what has happened i know in my heart i will always have love for you, always. thank you for all the laughter, for listening and trying to stay. please forgive me for all my shortcomings, i promise myself that i'll be a better person. i may have lost it all but i have finally got myself back and for now, this is enough. i am enough.

thank you, christine joy. for all the love, joy, and hope.

you will always be the love of my life. i meant it when i said it and it will continue to be true for the rest of my life.

[missinyouiskillingme]

“I hope that one day you realize you fucked up the day you chose to let me go.”

— R.R.

[ariseadaptascertain]

Bother me

please bother me. always. even when you think you are too much, even when you don’t want to bug me with your problems or when you feel I shouldn’t care about what you have to say, bother me. bother me when it’s 3AM and you have to call me 10 times till I wake up and answer you. ask me over late at night to just sit with you and be there so you don’t feel so alone. bother me on your way to class so you can rant about how someone just cut you off and how you’re going to be late. tell me you are stressed, tell me you are worried, when you’re scared, when you’re lonely. send me endless pictures of your dogs and your food, bother me with silly things that made you smile or what stupid thoughts keep you up at night. bother me to be there for you, bother me to show you I care, because I can promise you I’m never bothered.

[cosmicvngel]

[missinyouiskillingme]

You're going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, it's always their actions you should judge them by. It's actions, not words, that matter.

Nicholas Sparks, The Rescue

[halfvillainhalfhero]

"the moment you realize that you don't need someone else to make you happy, the universe will send you someone who will make you happier." :)

-J.

[madamlaydebug]

[ilydlls]

[lexislost]

I wish people didn’t think silence was awkward, just enjoy it. Not every space has to be filled with words.

[halfvillainhalfhero]

everyday I find new ways to hurt myself. 🥹

[evilvarric666-archive]

If I ever respond to you w just a heart emoji it's not meant to be dismissive. I'm bumping my shoulder against yours bc I like you. I am blinking slowly at you like a cat.

[dawnsfragrance]

Sai Assari, songbird

[bowandharrow]

adore is such a soft word...

I adore you. I adore the way your eyes light up when you're excited. I adore everything about you. I look upon you in adoration. I adore your affection and what it does to me. I adore you

so yeah, anyways...adore

[lotuxswave]

to the truest friend

[nothingbutloveforyou]

let's get lost in our love

[thoughtkick]

“I still catch myself feeling sad about things that don’t matter anymore.”

— Kurt Vonnegut

[halfvillainhalfhero]

Do you also do that? Reread every conversation you’ve ever had with that one person? Trying to find where it went wrong, was it something you said? Was it something you did? Reliving every single scenario thinking if you did something differently they might’ve stayed, the conversation would’ve never stopped. She wouldn’t have disappeared. You’re left with so many questions in your head but you know it will remain unanswered unless you actually ask but if you do, you fear that she wouldn’t respond anymore cause if she already left, why would she come back? You’re forever left wondering what it could’ve been. You hate to admit but you already know how it ends, it happened again. Nothing hurts more than losing what you never had. Stuck on “maybe” “almost” and “what could have been” was it worth the fall? Or do you regret it all? Was it worth the wait? To carry all this weight? I guess it’s still better to cry than not to try. I loved our story, it always has the beginning I hope I’ll see you in the end, if not I’ll accept the fact that I’ll never love again.