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i don't do bad sauce passes
almost home

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

JBB: An Artblog!

Love Begins
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

Origami Around
$LAYYYTER
taylor price

#extradirty
Keni
ojovivo
art blog(derogatory)
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One Nice Bug Per Day

Product Placement
DEAR READER
Jules of Nature
cherry valley forever
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@hallwayskeepfighting
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[ID: A tweet from char-antine (@aGirlCalledChar) that reads, “I may never go back to not wearing a mask in public.
-looks cool -got gendered correctly more -protects against disease -fucks up facial recognition
Why stop?” End ID.]
-helps with my dust and pollen allergies
-chapstick actually works now
- people are better about respecting my personal space
-available in a wide variety of dope patterns to accessorize like a cyberpunk wizard with
"Why do you watch kid shows rather than stuff for adults?"
Because kids shows have:
Clean humor that won't make me uncomfortable
Jokes that aren't related to sex, drugs, death or politics
Almost no mention of current events and things that I would like to avoid hearing about in my leisure time
Characters that like each other and treat each other kindly
Plots that hold morals, determination, teamwork and love in high regard, rather than being nihilistic about everything
Interesting and emotional plots that aren't slice of life or sitcom-based
Or drama that relies on real emotion and arcs rather than overdone melodrama and 'who's sleeping with who'
And creative settings and concepts that adult shows would be afraid to use for fear of seeming juvenile.
How to see whether a Chinese handmade teapot is well done or not - quality of the spout is an important standard.
cr: 承启 建水紫陶
that last teapot is like witnessing an eternal and important truth
It’s also worth noting that nobody in their 90s will ever master Twitter better than John Dingell
This high school drumline’s incredible performance included only drumstick
literally in my 1st grade book that I read and learned about her for the first time, it described her as “a woman named rosa. rosa’s feet were tired.”
that’s it. rosa’s feet were tired.
that doesn’t begin to scratch the surface, and it’s so important that we know the rest.
Correction: Rosa Parks was not only a trained activist, she and her activist buddies were specifically trying to recreate an incident that had happened earlier.
You see, the actual, spontaneous, unplanned incident was done nine months earlier by a black girl named Claudette Colvin. She was in the section designated for black people, however, the front became crowded and she was told to move to make way for a white woman (who was actually fine with standing as it turns out, to show how adamantly racist the bus driver was). She refused and was arrested.
Rosa Parks was a secretary at one of many chapters of NAACP and they had seen the incident but they had multiple reasons for not wanting to publicize it when it happened. One was that Claudette was a minor. Another possibility is that Claudette had some marks on her past that could have been considered questionable or immoral and they wanted someone that white people couldn’t pick apart as a villain or a thug for when it happened.
So they staged the incident all over again with Rosa Parks as the victim and when it played out just like they thought, they slammed it with as much attention and media as they could to publicize it.
I remember the first time I read about her, she was described as tired. The next time, it was “she wasn’t physically tired. She was tired of giving up her position as a person to a man who probably didn’t work as hard as she did that day.” There was never anything about Claudette Colvin, which is horrible.
Welcome 2020
Keira Knightley 20 January 2018
Does anyone else remember the story about that poor lesbian who came out to her mother and her mother cried and said “it’s all that damn Keira Knightley’s fault, I knew I shouldn’t have let you watch pride and prejudice as a child” because I’m really feeling that now
Bonus
I’m screaming
listen i respect y’all’s elizabeth bennets and elizabeth swanns and especially y’alls bend it like beckham babygays realizations but
DID Y’ALL MISS DOMINO (2005) ????
LOOK AT THIS FRESH DISASTER. THIS ABSOLUTE DREAM OF A MESS
DID Y”ALL MISS THIS
AND THIS
AND LOOK AT THIS GAY ANNOYANCE???
oh and at the end lucy liu shows up and interrogates her and it is v intense and lesbionic
in conclusion i had this haircut for 7 years and still want to kiss keira knightley
I can’t believe this Princess of Thieves erasure
she cuts off her own hair and dresses like a boy to protect the crown prince
also she’s amazing at archery. legolas whomst?
I recorded this on VHS commercials and all and watched it pretty much until the tape wore out. Totally in a heterosexual way though.
When I was 12, a drunk adult man shouted “You’re the hottest girl I’ve ever seen!” at me.
My reaction was to turn around and shout back, “Then OBVIOUSLY you’ve never seen Kiera Knightley!” and in retrospect I should have realized some things sooner than I did.
I know at this point this is basically a highlights reel of Keira Knightley’s whole filmography, but I present for your sword & sandals consideration, Keira as Celtic Guinevere in “King Arthur” (2004):
This post gets better every time I see it
HERE’S THE THING THOUGH
I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello you’d get connected to them, so I just launch right into my “Harvard University and NPR blah blah blah” thing and then there’s this long pause and I think the person’s hung up even though I didn’t hear a click
And then I hear “you shouldn’t be able to call this number.”
So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we aren’t selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is
“No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.”
I explain that it’s randomly generated and I’m very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear:
“Ma’am, this is a matter of national security.”
I accidentally called the director of the FBI.
My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon.
This is my new favourite story.
When I was in college I got a job working for a company that manages major air-travel data. It was a temp gig working their out of date system while they moved over to a new one, since my knowing MS Dos apparently made me qualified.
There was no MS Dos involved. Instead, there was a proprietary type-based OS and an actually-uses-transistors refrigerator-sized computer with switches I had to trip at certain times during the night as I watched the data flow from six pm to six AM on Fridays and weekends. If things got stuck, I reset the server.
The company handled everything from low-end data (hotel and car reservations) to flight plans and tower information. I was weighed every time I came in to make sure it was me. Areas of the building had retina scanners on doors.
During training. they took us through all the procedures. Including the procedures for the red phone. There was, literally, a red phone on the shelf above my desk. “This is a holdover from the cold war.” They said. “It isn’t going to come up, but here’s the deal. In case of nuclear war or other nation-wide disaster, the phone will ring. Pick up the phone, state your name and station, and await instructions. Do whatever you are told.”
So my third night there, it’s around 2am and there’s a ringing sound.
I look up, slowly. The Red phone is ringing.
So I reach out, I pick up the phone. I give my name and station number. And I hear every station head in the building do the exact same. One after another, voices giving names and numbers. Then silence for the space of two breaths. Silence broken by…
“Uh… Is Shantavia there?”
It turns out that every toll free, 1-900 or priority number has a corresponding local number that it routs to at its actual destination. Some poor teenage girl was trying to dial a friend of hers, mixed up the numbers, and got the atomic attack alert line for a major air-travel corporation’s command center in the mid-west United States.
There’s another pause, and the guys over in the main data room are cracking up. The overnight site head is saying “I think you have the wrong number, ma’am.” and I’m standing there having faced the specter of nuclear annihilation before I was old enough to legally drink.
The red phone never rang again while I was there, so the people doing my training were only slightly wrong in their estimation of how often the doomsday phone would ring.
Every time I try to find this story, I end up having to search google with a variety of terms that I’m sure have gotten me flagged by some watchlist, so I’m reblogging it again where I swear I’ve reblogged it before.
But none of these stories even come close to the best one of them all; a wrong number is how the NORAD Santa Tracker got started.
Seriously, this is legit.
In December 1955, Sears decided to run a Santa hotline. Here’s the ad they posted.
Only problem is, they misprinted the number. And the number they printed? It went straight through to fucking NORAD. This was in the middle of the Cold War, when early warning radar was the only thing keeping nuclear annihilation at bay. NORAD was the front line.
And it wasn’t just any number at NORAD. Oh no no no.
Terri remembers her dad had two phones on his desk, including a red one. “Only a four-star general at the Pentagon and my dad had the number,” she says.
“This was the ‘50s, this was the Cold War, and he would have been the first one to know if there was an attack on the United States,” Rick says.
The red phone rang one day in December 1955, and Shoup answered it, Pam says. “And then there was a small voice that just asked, ‘Is this Santa Claus?’ ”
His children remember Shoup as straight-laced and disciplined, and he was annoyed and upset by the call and thought it was a joke — but then, Terri says, the little voice started crying.
“And Dad realized that it wasn’t a joke,” her sister says. “So he talked to him, ho-ho-ho’d and asked if he had been a good boy and, ‘May I talk to your mother?’ And the mother got on and said, ‘You haven’t seen the paper yet? There’s a phone number to call Santa. It’s in the Sears ad.’ Dad looked it up, and there it was, his red phone number. And they had children calling one after another, so he put a couple of airmen on the phones to act like Santa Claus.”
“It got to be a big joke at the command center. You know, ‘The old man’s really flipped his lid this time. We’re answering Santa calls,’ ” Terri says.
And then, it got better.
“The airmen had this big glass board with the United States on it and Canada, and when airplanes would come in they would track them,” Pam says.
“And Christmas Eve of 1955, when Dad walked in, there was a drawing of a sleigh with eight reindeer coming over the North Pole,” Rick says.
“Dad said, ‘What is that?’ They say, ‘Colonel, we’re sorry. We were just making a joke. Do you want us to take that down?’ Dad looked at it for a while, and next thing you know, Dad had called the radio station and had said, ‘This is the commander at the Combat Alert Center, and we have an unidentified flying object. Why, it looks like a sleigh.’ Well, the radio stations would call him like every hour and say, ‘Where’s Santa now?’ ” Terri says.
For real.
“And later in life he got letters from all over the world, people saying, ‘Thank you, Colonel,’ for having, you know, this sense of humor. And in his 90s, he would carry those letters around with him in a briefcase that had a lock on it like it was top-secret information,” she says. “You know, he was an important guy, but this is the thing he’s known for.”
“Yeah,” Rick [his son] says, “it’s probably the thing he was proudest of, too.”
So yeah. I think that might be the best wrong number of all time.
Source: http://www.npr.org/2014/12/19/371647099/norads-santa-tracker-began-with-a-typo-and-a-good-sport
OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS.
I’ve seen the first post a bunch of times, but never the story of How The Santa Tracker Started.
I’ve realised that what I miss about fantasy is it being truly escapist. I miss it depicting places where I would actually want to go.
Every dang kid I knew waited for their Hogwarts acceptance letter. Reading the books and seeing it on screen gave you this warm, fuzzy feeling and a feeling of longing, even when they were in danger and fighting monsters and evil wizards, you want to be there.
You want to go to Middle Earth, see hobbits and elves and dwarves and run through this land of incredible beauty, mysticism and magic.
You want to be in the TARDIS, seeing the universe.
The more recent trend of fantasy is this gritty, dark realism and places where you would just never want to go. I don’t want to go to Westeros. I don’t want to be in The Hunger Games, I don’t particularly want to be in The Witcher universe. I’m living in the world of Black Mirror and I hate it.
Fantasy used to say “hey our world kinda sucks but here’s a cooler one”, but now it says “hey our world kinda sucks, but here’s an even worse one.”
That isn’t to say that the above are bad. They’re not.
But I miss beautiful, escapist fantasy that gives me a break. That takes me somewhere magical, somewhere otherworldly and gives me messages of hope and optimism in the face of darkness. I really, really miss that.
As a great man once said, “Fantasy is escapist, and that is its glory”. If I want to live in a world full of injustice and suffering, I can just watch the news.
Same fam tbh.
“I have claimed that Escape is one of the main functions of fairy-stories, and since I do not disapprove of them, it is plain that I do not accept the tone of scorn or pity with which ‘Escape’ is now so often used. Why should a man be scorned if, finding himself in prison, he tries to get out and go home? Or if he cannot do so, he thinks and talks about other topics than jailers and prison-walls? The world outside has not become less real because the prisoner cannot see it”
J.R.R. Tolkien
“[M]y friend Professor Tolkien asked me the very simple question, ‘What class of men would you expect to be most preoccupied with, and most hostile to, the idea of escape?’ and gave the obvious answer: jailers.”
Quoted by C. S. Lewis. "On Science Fiction"
Just because it’s “escapism” doesn’t mean you’re not running to something.
“The direction of escape is toward freedom.”
- Ursula K. Le Guin
Pride & Prejudice / Good Omens - Cinematic Parallels
because I can’t be the only one who was thinking of this scene
You just try things on, until you find something that feels like you. Like me? Yeah. Not Hopper. Not Mike. You.
The Republican Party has a war on Christian babies, toddlers, and children held in their custody. They are being treated worse than terrorists.
Trump and Stephen Miller should be at the Hague.
And if your response is “well they and their parents broke the law” then:
A. Many of them are asylum seekers. Seeking asylum is NOT illegal, in fact, it is a legally protected right we have agreed to uphold.
B. By that logic, if you are SUSPECTED OF mispaying your taxes the IRS should be able to kidnap you and keep you on a concrete floor with a tinfoil blanket and no soap. People don’t magically lose their rights or status as human beings just because they’re awaiting an asylum hearing or deportation trial.
C. If you say “well they aren’t American citizens like me, so they don’t get the same rights.” -It doesn’t work like that, and it shouldn’t. If your citizenship and right to be somewhere must exist and be proven in order for your basic human rights to exist, then the government can just steal or destroy your ID or passport and boom, no more rights for you. The State has declared you an Un-person. Who are you to argue against the State?
Regardless of your stance on immigration policy this is an outrageous and immoral way to treat human beings. The government has lawyers trying to argue that they aren’t obligated to provide soap or blankets to people that the government has locked up. Defending that shows a staggering level of blindness to the possibility that this treatment could someday happen to people like oneself.
Either everyone has basic human rights, or very quickly nobody but the powerful does. Choose wisely which way you’ll support.
Baby fox steals fish from fisherman (🔊)
Just a kitten practicing her killing