I'm not a robot

hambot 2.0, an unfortunate prototype [indie au rp blog for hamegg. sideblog to hammondegg.]

[trcubleshooting-a]

(✪) - ❝ Umm... ❞

Well, the rotten personality left no room for doubt that this was indeed Hamegg. Somehow. Though now that left Astro with even more questions. What happened? Who did this? This was definitely 100% illegal and unethical so how on EARTH was he going to break this to Dr. Ochanomizu later?

Was the real Hamegg gone?

Any approach to the situation he may have had prepared was immediately sabotaged by the now very clear fact that this robot, Hamegg or not, had no clue what was going on. A more delicate hand needed to be applied, ease him into discussing the elephant in the room.

(✪) - ❝ You seem...different today? ❞

Perfect.

[hambot2point0]

Hamegg silently stared back at Astro. What a weird question to ask. Was he malfunctioning or something? He snorted and decided this 'battery acid' of a drink was going to go right into the trash. Would that ease the kid off his case? Either way, he adjusted his bowtie afterwards. "Don't know what you mean, I'm as perfect as ever!"

But the drink fizzling in his mouth and it not even really...tasting like anything, still left him a bit freaked out internally. He wasn't about to show him taking Astro seriously, though.

Perhaps if Hamegg didn't wear his gloves so often, he'd be far more aware of his predicament, considering his fingers were now obviously mechanical.

"Look, I just needed a pickme up. I've had a long day, can't you just let this slide? Can't find my wallet." He stuffed his hands into his pockets, pulling them out to show.

[sugarcoatedmechanic]

“My name is B-12.” The robot said in response to ‘you hunk of junk’, head cocked slightly.

The robot lost some enthusiasm up until the other laughed, and it brightened slightly again. But back to weird questions a moment later. He parsed it out aloud. “Who? The hell. Made me?” He repeated, then quickly answered. “The B-12 model is built and programmed by Wren Robotics, in association with Spinner Animation.”

The robot presented the hologram again, now that that’s done with. “Would you like to play a game?”

[hambot2point0]

"Heard you the first time, also that's barely a name." Ham continued to watch B-12, pausing when he heard the name of its maker. Wren? Why'd that name sound familiar? Could it be...? Nah, not that it mattered. But if it was, he'd sure gotten more advanced with his work. Not bad. Being shown the games again, he snorted and decided to have his hand hover over the hologram, scrolling the options once more and picking a card game - Solitaire. Because he wasn't really a video game kind of guy. Hell, he could just play this on his phone but if the robot wasn't likely to leave him alone, why not get some use out of it?

"Your purpose is a little weird, don't you think? Lot of work to make a robot like you and just have you show people games when there's far easier ways to do it." Critical, but also gauging B-12's reactions. Testing that AI, either to further his own belief that most robots were functionally just computer programs, or...well, he didn't want to think about it. HIS case was different.

[trcubleshooting-a]

Unfortunately, Hamegg's actions had not gone unnoticed. One heroic little robot happened to be flying across the air overhead when his hearing sensors detected the commotion. One glance with his optics told him exactly who he was dealing with, though the readings were a bit...off. Astro rolled his eyes. He could get checked with Ochanomizu later, first there was a scolding he had to dish out.

Swiftly, Astro flew himself lower, finally landing in front of his target and blocking his path with arms crossed and a look of disappointment in his face. A look that vanished as soon as he'd had a good look at who exactly he was dealing with.

(✪) - ❝ Huh? ❞

(✪) - ❝ You're...Hamegg? ❞

Astro blinked several times and rubbed his eyes. No, this was no visual malfunction. What he saw corroborated exactly what his sensors were telling him.

This was a robot.

[hambot2point0]

"Crap!" And here he'd thought he would be in the clear! Hamegg skidded to a halt as the shorter robot blocked his path. Ugh, really? Was the brat really going to go after him for something this small?

He scowled down at Astro. "Look, don't you have bigger fish to fry or is it a slow day?" To make a show of just how not threatened he was by the kid, he went to take a swig of his stolen coffee, only hissing when it started to spark at his mouth. Ow, the hell?

Hamegg squinted at the drink and then at Astro. "Am I missing something here, why are you looking at me like that?"

[hambot2point0]

@trcubleshooting

It had been a really strange start to his day, all things considered. After that little experiment, he was simply sent on his way. Well, there was still that stupid questionaire he had to fill out by the end but that wasn't a big deal.

If he didn't know any batter, he'd been kidnapped and robbed by those bozos! He didn't recognize this section of town at all. And his phone was gone.

Ham glowered over at the window of the coffee shop he stopped at. Tempting. If he couldn't pay for it, he could always take it and run. And that was exactly he did, or attempted to do - the odd looks at the counter did catch him a little off guard. What was their deal? His suit was impeccable.

He snatched the coffee, though, giving a grin as he made a show of feeling in his pockets to pay, backing up ever so slowly until he turned and ran. It was fine! Wasn't as if he was going to show his face in this shitty place again any time soon. He ignored the sound of yelling behind him, snickering.

[hambot2point0]

ooc;

thinking about either an AU of hambot getting into manipulating technology and controlling other robots or cyborgs, etc, or if that's just where he might go down on his own later.

and yeah maybe I'm partially influenced by this song

obviously this leading into absorbing information of normal people too like how his own mind was ripped from him and put in a robot body - i would not be surprised if he tries to replicate that shit to force on other people who fall for the 'immortality' gig.

[sugarcoatedmechanic]

B-12 looked at the other blankly. He hadn’t been programmed to recognize robots yet, so to him this was just a person who might like to play a game. But he didn’t understand the answer he got, so he repeated. “Would you like to play a game?”

The word “cost” he parses though, and that one he easily associated with a quick answer. “All games are free to play. If you would like to donate towards development of the B-12 program, open parentheses, finish this section later, closed parentheses.”

B-12 paused a few moments after that absolute nonsense, then moved on, turning on a hologram that spanned between his forearms to create a game selection screen. It was full of clearly pirated classic arcade games, as well as some generic icons/labels for things like Tag, Hide and Seek, etc. “Please make a selection.”

[hambot2point0]

"..." Watching the robot struggle with the conversation made it clear its AI probably wasn't all that great. If it even had one at all and wasn't just programmed stupid phrases. He stared blankly for a moment before barely hiding a sneer. Donation? Does it look like he had the cash to spare?! He waved him off. "Alright, alright - look, you hunk of junk, I'm not actually interested in playing any of your-" He stopped as he looked over the hologram with a raised eyebrow. Alright, that was a little impressive.

And he felt that maaaaybe these games weren't legally obtained. not that he cared about any of that, but that did earn a snicker. "Who the hell made you, anyway?"

[boyrobott]

Astro and Hamegg + parallels vs. contrasts

[hambot2point0]

#IM SO NORMAL ABT THEM IM SO NORMAL ABT THEM IM SO FUCKING NORMAL ABT THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i dont think anyone will ever truly understand the full depth & magnitude of my obsession with these two lmfao#it's about how they both come from metro city.... they BOTH know what it is to be rejected & cast out....#they BOTH had to forge an identity and a life for themselves out of the ashes of their old ones.....#they BOTH know the very particular sort of pain and loneliness that comes from being unwanted and being an outsider......#yet hamegg allows his experiences to embitter him and turn him against the world. hamegg allows himself to become selfish and callous#whereas astro remains kind and gracious no matter the situation!!! and he offers that kindness and grace freely to everyone!!!#no matter how they have hurt him in the past!!! he continues to forgive and forgive and forgive#while hamegg continues to resent and seethe and dwell on his mistreatment!!!!#god im going fucking feral

[sugarcoatedmechanic]

@hambot2point0 B-12 wasn’t meant for off-roading. The robot wasn’t one to become particularly frustrated, but he didn’t find the experience very rewarding. Of course, off reading to him is literally anything other than a perfectly level sidewalk.

So he was trying to stick to the sidewalk, the nearly level sidewalk. But it wasn’t working out as well as he’d like.

He had crossed the same crosswalk about seven times at this point. Get to other side. Car is parked on sidewalk. Reroute. Turn around and try the other way. Traffic cone. That probably isn’t good. perhaps the car is gone? Cross the road, encounter car, reroute.

This loop continued like this until he spotted a stranger and he was finally broken of his casual meandering back and forth across the road. He quickly stumbled towards him, and barely avoided tripping as he went to greet the frankly miserable looking soul. His voice was high and loudly enthusiastic. He stood with feet wide apart, and black metal and rubber hands splayed expressively, highlighted by the colorful LEDs that circled his wrists like glow sticks. Hello, my name is B-12! Would you like to play a game?”

[hammondegg]

Hammond had been keeping to himself for some time, rarely going out unless he felt restless. He frowned with the e-cig between his lips when his eyes narrowed at the appearance of a far more obvious bot was coming his way on the street. Old habits were hard to kick when holding grudges for as long as he did - and being forced in this body hadn't really changed all of his perception. Probably didn't help that he had been living with Lamp and his other self for as long as he had. So he rolled his eyes at the question, the eagerness from the other robot almost sickening to listen to. "A game, huh..." Ham snorted, crossing his arms. "I guess I'll humor you, what kinda game?" He paused, before pointing his finger at B-12. "This won't cost anything, will it?"

[cerebralcad]

When CAD first spotted the sparking heap of apparently bedraggled parts that was on the ground before him, he tilted his head to one side and then the other. As if assessing what he was looking at. To his knowledge, droids were not very common on Earth. Robotics were fairly primitive, unless the parts were coming from elsewhere. So he was skeptical that he was looking at anything with full sentience -

The response he received to his aimed weapon had him internally chastising himself, however. There was clear fear in this individual's voice. CAD was quick to lower the gun when he realized.

"You're okay. It was just a precaution."

The droid stepped closer, crouching down on the other's level and giving him an appraising look.

"Something's treated you poorly. Or someone." He commented, not fully recognizing Ham as someone he'd encountered before. It had been a while since he'd engaged with anyone except for Alliance brass and Luke.

[hambot2point0]

The lowering of the gun helped him settle down before he inevitably overheated inside. He tried to focus on what was being said, audio processing almost lagging behind. He was worse off than he originally thought. That, unfortunately, left him feeling a lot more jittery. What if he was too far gone to be fixed?

His head shot up at CAD's words, however, almost laughing. "S-s-someones, yeah...I th-th-hhhink." It was all still a jumble of memories, he only vaguely recalled the last handful of years. If he had been shut off during most of it, how would he even be able to tell?

Ham hunched over a bit, shuddering instinctively. "I c-c-can't fffix this on m-MY-my own..." He closed his eyes as if trying to recall the last time he even had an upgrade, but when he opened his eye again to look at his hand, he envisioned something completely different. Right - right, he'd been human once, hadn't he? Or had that been the other him?

A twitch.

"D-d-do I know you?"

[cerebralcad]

Despite it being a fairly obvious place for him to hide, CAD had enjoyed some relative peace while he remained holed up on Earth. Thus far, the Alliance had not thought to chase him that far; in that time period. Maybe it wasn't as obvious as he'd thought. But he spent many days and nights now, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

It would eventually, he knew.

Until then, he kept mostly to himself, doing repairs and upgrades to his ship which was his default living space now. Luke was scarce, sometimes, which left CAD to his own devices more often than not.

Repairs to himself were harder. Fuel was not easy to come by. Had to be taken and converted into something his systems could process and maintain. Caused quite a few issues that he then had to address as they arose.

Which meant that he had to go on scavenging trips frequently. Junkyards and scrap yards and mechanic shops which disposed of fuels and liquids that might agree with him. Didn't always make him the best of friends with anyone who he thought wouldn't need it anymore. But where he could barter, he would. But he never found himself in too much danger. He was tall. And with a formidable weapon that he kept on him more often than not. If someone challenged him, they learned fairly quickly not to.

One such scavenging trip took him fairly far from the safety of his ship clattering through some darker streets away from the main roads to see what some of the nearby abandoned car lots may have had squirreled away.

What the droid did not expect was the clattering sound that he detected nearby as he was elbow deep into the engine compartment of an old Cadillac. Head whipping up, the lights on his visor lit the area nearby as he scanned, an expression of distaste decorating his general appearance. From his back, CAD pulled his heavy sniper, though he was certain it would probably be overkill if actually used. The threat of it was enough to deter any degenerates.

"Who's there."

Hardly a question - more of a demand with the harshness of the electronic filter effecting his voice.

[hambot2point0]

All things considered, he contemplated on giving up. He knew his condition was only getting worse, and wasting energy wasn't about to help him any. At least, until he heard another voice. His processors seemed to be working overtime as he tried to lift his head and turn it so his one operational eye's side so he could look around for the source. His voice box, however, was a static-fueled mess full of stuttering glitches when he spoke. "L-l-l-looking f-f-for h-h-elp." Though, given the location, he might as well have waltzed right up to the same people who'd torn him apart. The filter of CAD's voice at the very least didn't make him sound like an average human.

Whether that was a comfort for someone like Ham, remained to be seen. He grimaced as he tried to push himself up with his working arm. When he finally saw the shine of the light from CAD's visor, he flinched with a twitch before squinting with his good eye. Did he...recognize what he was seeing? But the sniper certainly earned him a quick lift of his hand harmlessly, panic setting in. He did not want to be shot, thanks. "D-don't sh-sh-shoot!"

[craniodedragao]

It's never too late to pay tribute.

I hope you can forgive me for taking so long.

🎊Happy Birthday Osamu Tezuka🎊

[hammondegg]

my sad attempt at drawin a lil hambot

throws hands up

monochrome is my aesthetic i guess lmao

[lukewren-deactivated20170225]

[hammondegg]

I SCREAM

@acetylenelamp sent me this

presh robo!ham I die

he perf look at him

[hambot2point0]

There was something clearly wrong with his system. Of course, despite living the last few years in this body of his, he hadn't exactly paid much attention to how it worked. Unfortunately for him, some folks had been a little too interested in that fact themselves.

Hammond did not remember how he'd gotten into such a situation, if he'd been tossed into a scrapyard, or what - his memory was fragmented, as was his vision. Half his face had been torn and an eye removed. Every few steps or more he would end up twitching uncomfortably. A missing arm and various other parts torn from his chest - it was any wonder he was still able to function at all.

Static vision, like watching an old worn VHS, he stumbled along in the hopes of reaching a place he vaguelly remembered. One would think he'd try to Lamp's house but a part of himself thought the worst, even in his jumbled mind.

Eventually, though, whatever energy supply he was surviving on was dwingling enough that movement was becoming harder to maintain, slumping forward onto the ground. Thankfully, this time, it wasn't into a puddle.

@cerebralcad

[hambot2point0]

acetylenelamp:

Y’mean after work? I hadn’t locked anything down yet.

[He let him pull away to keep working, but he kept his eyes on him, smiling.]

As for now, think it might be time for my legally mandated break, don’t you think? We ain’t runnin’ a sweatshop here.

[Ham snickered some.]

Yeah, that’s true. 

[He finally finished putting the groceries away, leaning against the counter with his arms folded and grinning just a little.] 

Good thing I came back when I did~.

[hambot2point0]

acetylenelamp:

… Yeah. Probably right.

[He stepped over and pressed a kiss to his scalp as an apology for bringing it up.]

[It was going to still take some getting used to feeling that kind of contact again. It kinda tingled. Ham offered a sheepish smile and went to start putting some of the groceries away.]

So, um, any plans for today?

[Not that he expected to get more than a few hours of interaction, considering there was the other Ham to worry about. Hrm.]