Hamilton Incorrect Quotes

[hamilton-incorrectquotes]

(Inspired by the rumor that the Washingtons had a cat named Hamilton)

G. Washington: Hamilton! Get off the table!

A. Hamilton: Are you talking to the cat or me?

G. Washington: Both.

[hamilton-incorrectquotes]

Alex: Here you are John, nice hot cup of coffee.

John L: Oh, it's cold.

Alex: Nice cup of coffee.

John L: It's horrible!

Alex: Cup of coffee.

John L: I'm not even sure it is coffee.

Alex: Cup.

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Alex: Why is your report card on the ceiling?

Phillip: You told me to bring my grades up.

Alex:

Phillip:

Alex: I did say that now lemme see-

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Angelica: You don't think I can fight because I'm a girl.

Alex: I don't think you can fight because you're in a wedding dress. For what it's worth, I don't think Laf can fight in that dress either.

Lafayette: Perhaps not, but I would make a radiant bride.

[hamilton-incorrectquotes]

John L: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Alex: Killed without hesitation.

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Well then

George W: Where's Alexander?

John L: Doing stuff.

George W: I don't like the sound of that, where's Aaron?

John L: Trying to stop Alex from doing the stuff?

George W: And Lafayette?

John L: Trying to stop Aaron from stopping Alex from doing the stuff.

George W: I see, and what are you doing here?

John L: I'm supposed to be stopping you from stopping Laf from stopping Aaron from stopping Alex from doing the stuff.

[hamilton-incorrectquotes]

Get out

Aaron: Hello, people who do not live here.

Hercules: Hey.

Lafayette: Hi.

John: Hello.

Alex: Hey!

Aaron: I gave you the key for emergencies!

Alex: We were out of Doritos.

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Good job Alex

James M: You're smiling, did something good happen?

Thomas: I can't smile just because I feel like it?

Aaron: Alexander made a fool of himself at the Cabinet meeting today.

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Muggy

Thomas: It's really muggy today.

James M: If I go outside, and all our mugs are on the front lawn, I'm going to kill you.

Thomas: *Sips coffee from a bowl*

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George W: Who broke the coffee pot? I'm not mad, I just want to know.

Everyone:...

Eliza: I did it, I broke it.

George W: No. No, you didn't. Alexander?

Alex: Don't look at me, look at Jefferson.

Thomas: What? I didn't break it.

Alex: Huh, that's weird. How did you even know it was broken?

Thomas: Because it's standing right in front of us and it's broken!

Alex: Suspicious.

Thomas: No, it's not.

Lafayette: If it matters, probably not, Peggy was the last one to use it.

Peggy: Liar! I don't even drink coffee!

Lafayette: Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Peggy: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles, everyone knows that, Laf!

Eliza: Okay, let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Sir.

George W: No! Who broke it?

Thomas: Burr has been awfully quiet..

Aaron: Really?! Oh my God!

George W, to the camera: I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

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He wouldn't miss you...

Thomas: You look nice, I want to kiss you.

Alex: What?

Thomas: I SAID IF YOU DIED I WOULDN'T MISS YOU.

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Clearly gay

[When he loses Alex in a store, to a worker]

George W: Have you seen my son?

George W: Short height, brown hair, brown eyes.

George W: Clearly gay but we haven't had the talk.

[hamilton-incorrectquotes]

Headache

James M: I'm not doing too well.

James M: I have this headache that comes and goes.

Alex: *Walks into the room*

James M: Oh look there it is again.

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Too tall

Alex: My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?

Lafayette: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.

Hercules: Tackle him.

John: Dump him.

Thomas: NO TO ALL OF THOSE. JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN.

[hamilton-incorrectquotes]

Coward

John: Hey, do you think I could fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?

Aaron: You're a hazard to society.

Alex: And a coward, do twenty.