Hamlet The Sane Dane

Prince of Denmark. 🇩🇰Currently trapped in the foul and pestilential prison of Elsinore . My aunt-mother married my uncle-father. Swore an oath of vengeance, might delete later. Messy bastard who loves drama.

[hamletthesanedane]

rosencrantz and guildenstern are alive and well, idk what you’re talking about

[hamletthesanedane]

Aye, ‘tis true!

I delay my vengeance to become King of America!

[princesshamlet-deactivated20210]

hamlet, bouncing onstage for his fifth unwanted soliloquy of the day:

[princesshamlet-deactivated20210]

[hamletthesanedane]

Frailty, thy name’s a BITCH

[hamletthesanedane]

Happy Mother’s Day to no one; my incestuous whore of an aunt-mother in particular.

[hamletthesanedane]

“Girl dinner!” — Queen Gertrude before drinking the poison wine and dying

[hamletthesanedane]

somethings shit fucked in the state of Denmark

[valtsv]

i want to make a "he should've been at the club" post about hamlet but there's so much controversy about his actual age that i can't while still maintaining any claim to academic integrity

[valtsv]

"should hamlet have been at the club", the world's longest unanswered question in the history of academia, still ongoing after 400 years of debate

[valtsv]

[hamletthesanedane]

They don’t let me in the club anymore after they let me DJ, but I monologued for four hours instead.

[the-evil-clergyman]

Illustrations from Shakespeare's Hamlet by John Austen (1922)

[hamletthesanedane]

Anyone heard from Reynaldo??? His employer died under utterly unremarkable circumstances and Horatio has his paycheck.

Also he’s fired. Laertes is back in Denmark trying to kill me, so he’s a shitty spy anyway.

[frodo-of-the-nine-fingers]

oh sunk-cost fallacy we're really in it now

[hamletthesanedane]

Where was this wise meme after I murdered Polonius?

[hamletthesanedane]

Hate it when my mommy issues get in the way of my very cool and most manly vengeance plot.

[hamletthesanedane]

Show me how noble and worthy thou art, relative to a cursèd prince.

[hamletthesanedane]

I can’t even talk to a woman without the urge to kill myself or another man.

[polonius-counsels]

At this point, I cannot even tell if you are misogynic, misandric, or merely misanthropic.

We desperately need a court therapist. I shall propose this to my liege immediately and observe his response.

[hamletthesanedane]

I know that I am all those things, my good Lord, just as well that I know you are a fishmonger.

I nominate Horatio for the position. He is the only sane inmate left in the putrid prison of Denmark. Just don’t have Reynaldo do it again. He suuuucccked.

[hamletthesanedane]

Polonius once played Julius Caesar onstage in college, so while it was a totally tragic accident, you must admit the fact that I stabbed him to death is very funny.

[polonius-counsels]

Indeed. Unfortunately, you did not bring twenty-two cohorts (and several dozen additional unfaithful cohorts), so some degree of canon divergence has occurred.

[hamletthesanedane]

I didn’t need cohorts, for it takes only one dagger to stab a rat. RIP to Brutus but I’m built different.

[hamletthesanedane]

It’s always “to be” this or “not to be” that. It’s never “how to be” these days.

[hamletthesanedane]

I shall no longer be feigning madness. Doing it for real this time.