This is, I think, one of the most heartbreaking scenes in entire game when it's Zack here instead of Cloud.
Because this?
This is Sephiroth stopping because his friend called out to him, seeing Zack is upset, and trying to offer him a smile that's not quite the smile he's been giving Zack until now, but he's trying. Because there's still a part in him that registers that this is a friend who is in distress, a part of him that wants to comfort and reassure.
Sephiroth has just slaughtered an entire town, killed everyone who has tried to come in his way, even people who were just there. But he hasn't done anything to Zack besides walking right past him and, when Zack tried to physically stop him from doing so, throwing him into a wall (and we even get a visual of Jenova's influence on Sephiroth at that moment as seen here (yes I'm plugging my own gifs because that's easiest, sue me)). He was just casually strolling by Zack right before this moment too, but when Zack called his name he stopped and turned.
And then he saw Zack and the state he's in.
You can actually see that shift in Sephiroth, when he registers that this is his friend in front of him.
So he gives Zack one last smile because it's all he can do anymore before walking away.
whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.
Kate Bush / Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation / Friedrich Nietzsche / Mission Impossible: Fallout (Deleted Scene) / Taylor Swift / Angelica Alzona / tumblr / kiss on my neck says it all by Abby S / Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation /Mission Impossible: Fallout / Rebecca Ferguson in an interview / Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning Part One / Madeline Miller / Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning Part One
Is theĀ āmaternal bondā between Cloud and Tifa, and Cloud and Aerith the same?
An argument was made that Tifa feels like a maternal figure to Cloud, same as Aerith, trying to prove that either both women are romantically or not romantically linked to Cloud because of this.
All an attempt to keep trying to disprove CloTi as canon.
I have Reunion Files, it has the JP/ENG in it. This person left out huge context explaining the maternal bond and the difference between both ladies. Here are pgs 18-20 from Tifaās profile.
I recently came across this section in the 10th Anniversary Ultimania. I was curious because it mentions that the only time Cloud laughs in the game is with Aerith.
I donāt personally mind that. The conversation they were having was about Aerith not having the qualities of a SOLDIER. Arguably you could say that was a bit of foreshadowing to the fact that Cloud also never made the cut, he just believes he has. This also happens minutes after they escape the church. Theyāve barely had a conversation, let alone time for any actual romance to be brewing.
That may still be the case. However, I looked deeper into this because of what surrounds this quote about Aerith in the Ultimania. There are two Ultimania quotes Iāve seen reference this.
The first is from TurquoiseHammer on Twitter. This section seems to imply that Cloud sees something special in Aerith and that is why he laughs freely with her. However, like with many quotes about Cloud and Aerith that seem suggestive or even romantic in nature, itās left as a question or ponderance rather than a statement.
So officially Cloud and Tifa becomes a couple AFTER the FF7, but BEFORE On the Way to a Smile? That's my assumption if thinking about the timelines.
I know that Cloud says in the beginning of CoT how he's glad he has Tifa by his side AS HIS WOMAN, but I still have a feeling they knew they were a couple before that. Tifa was being just insecure/confused probably a time or two during her case. Like "We've always kinda had each other, haven't we?" and that "Do you love me?". She KNOWS that Cloud loves her. She needed just some kind of comfort from Cloud that everything's gonna be okay since they had some darker days.
Officially they become a couple right after the end of VII since the scene in otwtas is the HW lands and they're looking at Midgar after the lifestream has pushed back meteor, but their feelings are revealed in the lifestream scene and they consummate it under the highwind the night before the final battle. They thought they were gonna die so it's their only chance to be together, and then afterwards they realise they can have their lives back.
At the point Tifa asks that, she and Cloud are going through some shit. Cloud's not talking about his problems and she's wondering if it's because of her, but he's suffering survivor's guilt and depression and doesn't want to burden her with what he feels like are his problems alone. As Nomura said, "the happier Cloud is the more lonely he gets" because he feels like he doesn't deserve anything good after everything he's been through. Cloud has always been like that too. He doesn't feel worthy of what he has and that's why having Tifa and his family tell him he's important to them is such a big deal to him all the time. He knows they love him, but he needs to feel like he's earned it because of his inferiority complex.
It's rare to see someone think that Cloud wasn't in love with Aerith so I would like to ask you, if Cloud isn't in love with Aerith why do you think he always thought of her even after OG? Tons of people died and Cloud never thought of them or had a violent reaction to it. Biggs, Jessie, and Wedge die and he barely reacts to it, Barret "dies" in Remake and he barely reacts to it. Why would he make a certain reaction to Aerith and have her on his mind all the time if he wasn't in love with her?
I have to ask, have you read my blog? Because the reason why Cloud thinks of Aerith after her death is basically the most basic and probably well discussed subject on here.
It's not something that is particularly ambiguous or difficult to answer, hell, the developers have straight up told us why.
First though, let me just clarify that while I say that Cloud doesn't love Aerith, that it's a bit more complex than just saying he's not "in love" with her, there is a big difference between loving someone and being "in love" with someone, and there is a big difference between soldier Cloud and real Cloud. For a more nuanced breakdown of whether I think Cloud had any feelings for Aerith, read the following article:
Do I think Cloud had feelings for Aerith, plot twist, yes.
Concerning Cloud thinking about Aerith, remember that Cloud actually DOESN'T think about Aerith that much after her death during the original game, Aerith is barely mentioned after her death. She doesn't really come up again until the party discusses how Aerith was planning to stop meteor, at which point the entire party thinks back on her.
The only time Cloud is seen thinking back on Aerith is during Advent children. But the reasons he thinks back on her are well known, they're stated in the movie and have been confirmed by developers, and they're the same reasons that he doesn't think back on Jesse and Wedge in the same way. He thinks back on Aerith AND ZACK because he feels responsible for their deaths.
Behind these actions lies feelings of guilt towards his past failure to protect people who were important to him
-FF7 10th AU Cloud Strife profile
Failing to protect people important to him is his sinā¦ Convincing himself of this, Cloud shuts himself off. What does his meeting with Aerith bring him?
- Cloud Strife profile 10th AU
Two years after returning to the planet, Aerith still lives on in the hearts of her friends who saved the planet. And in particular to Cloud, as a symbol of his failure to having being unable protect those dear to him,
-Aerith Gainsborough 10th AU profile.
Deep down, Cloud knew that he shouldnāt be so hard on himself, but at the same time he couldnāt let go of those feelings of guilt for what happened to Aerith and Zack, or the thought that he could never forgive himself for it. But then his companions made him feel better by telling him to let go.
- Takahiro Sakurai (Cloudās voice actor) pg. 15 reunion files.
As long as Cloud blames himself for Aerithās death, he wonāt be able to move on with his life. One of the first ideas we had for Advent Children was to have Cloud overcome and resolve that immense feeling of guilt. For Cloud, no one other than Aerith can solve that problem for him.- Reunion Files. pg. 58.
Cloud feels an incredible sense of guilt for not being able to save her, but sometimes he can still hear her voice in a soft whisper.
-(Reunion Files, Aerithās profile)
Zack&Aerith
For Cloud, they were people whom he can never forget. The two irreplaceable people, Zack, āwho was sent to death because of himā, and Aerith, āwho met a tragic fate as he couldnāt protect herā became āthe unforgivable sinā in his heart.- ACC POST CARD BOOK.
āIām going to live. I think thatās the only way I can be forgiven. All sorts of thingsā¦ happened.ā
- Cloud in case of Tifa
It's been confirmed time and time again that guilt is the reason Cloud thinks back on Aerith so much during ACC. But this never needed to be confirmed by outside sources, because even if Clouds general story-arc didn't make that obvious in the first place, the fact is that it's outright stated in the movie.
āI want to be forgiven. Mm. More than anything.ā-Cloud
āBy who?ā-Aerith
āIsnāt it time you did the forgiving?ā Aerith to Cloud.
"But... I let you die..." - Cloud to Aerith
āI never blamed you. Not once, you came for me, thatās all that matter.ā-Aerith to Cloud.
"Are sins ever forgiven...?" - Cloud to Vincent
"I said I'd live out both our lives, easy to make that promise...." Cloud to Zack
Notice how there is not a single mention of "I love you", or hell, even "I miss you" in sight? That's because his melancholy is not romantic in nature.
Clouds despair over failing Aerith goes back all the way to his character arc in FFVII. The earliest thing we know about Cloud, the thing that started his entire journey, was him feeling ashamed at not being able to save Tifa when she fell off the mountain. His feelings of inadequacy and guilt are a running motif throughout the story.
"I'm not fit to help anyone. Not my family. Not my friends. Nobody." - Cloud to Tifa in ACC
Even in remake this is already being brought up CONSTANTLY!
"it's just like, when I failed you"
- Cloud before Airbuster fight
"You've failed again, I see, but through suffering you will grow strong, isn't that what you want?" - Sephiroth after plate drop
"You're too weak to save anyone, not even yourself" - Sephiroth when meeting Aerith
If you want a more detailed rundown of Clouds actions during advent children I suggest reading this article.
Cloud thinks about Aerith because he's happy living with Tifa. Cloud is inherently prone to negative over-worrying and self-blame, so when he realizes how happy he is this causes two distinct feelings in him.
1: He's ashamed at feeling happy because he blames himself for the sins of the past, and thinks he doesn't deserve happiness.
2: He's afraid of losing this happiness because he knows that he's always failed at protecting the people closest to him in the past.
Both stem from his sense of guilt and inadequacy, which is what he needs to overcome in the movie. This, again, has been confirmed many times.
The happier Cloud is, the more lonely he becomes.
-Nomura in Distance
Cloud never had a candid personality to begin with, and although he started living with Tifa and even started working, he obtained a peaceful living heās never experienced before, and this conversely made him anxious. And in the midst of this he contracts Geostigma himself, and rather than being able to protect the people dear to him, he instead was forced to face his own death, and so ran away.ā-Nojima in AC prologue.
Nomura: Even though he found peace, Cloud has lost a lot of people dear to him up until this point. Not only that, but looking at Cloudās history, this is the first time heās experienced a āpeacefulā environment in the true sense of the word. Cloud is a character who will always keep thinking, regardless of whatās going on around him.
Nomura: Cloud is scared that the peace he has now might shatter, so he is living on his own.
The more he realizes how happy he is living with Tifa and the children, the more the fear of losing that and regrets toward the past trouble Cloudā¦ -10th AU Cloudās profile
The things that cloud blames himself for are not things that anyone else blames him for. So what he has to do is overcome himself. -nomura, distance
With all this going on is it weird that he's thinking about Aerith? During 1 week? When he's dying? Personally I find it extremely distasteful to try to make this romantic. Cloud thinking about Aerith isn't romantic, it's tragic, it's bad. Pretending that there is anything romantic there would be inappropriate even IF Cloud did use to love Aerith. It minimizes the internal struggles of a suffering man, and it's not cool. IF Cloud loved Aerith, then him thinking about her has nothing to do with that, it's irrelevant.
From a storytelling perspective, Cloud isolating himself in the church and being stuck in the past is NOT a good thing, it's not something to be romanticized, it's bad, it's dangerous, it's something the protagonist is meant to overcome by the end of the movie, which he does.
The place where he awakens ā
That is Cloudās Promised Land
As he sleeps, Cloud hears two voices. The voices of two people very dear to him, who are no longer with him. Playfully and kindly, they give him a message: he doesnāt belong here yet.
When he awakes, there was his friends. There were the children, freed from their fatal illness. Tifa and Marlene, and Denzel asking for Cloud to heal his Geostigma ā his family were waiting. Engulfed in celebration, he realizes where he is meant to live. He realizes that he was able to forgive himself.
And when he turns around ā āsheā is starting to leave. Together with the friend who had given Cloud his life. Cloud no longer has to suffer in loneliness ā¦
And so they too go back to where they belong.
Back to the current of life flowing around the planet ā.10th AU.
As for why he seemingly cares more about Zack and Aerith than Barret or Jesse, it's because they're the ones he wants forgiveness from, not Jesse, not Biggs. Aerith is the person he was supposed to be bodyguarding, who was alone in the city of the ancients because HE attacked her at the temple, she's the girl HE almost attacked at the city of the ancients. She, more than anyone else, died because he was too weak to save her. She died because of his incompetence and fake persona, or so he thinks. And Zack, his best friend, literally gave up his life in order to defend Cloud, and then Cloud straight up forgot about him because of his weak sense of self.
As for Barret, there is simply no comparison. First of all, Cloud knew Barret even less than the knew Aerith, and definitely cared less about him at that point than he cared about Aerith at the moment of her death. Secondly, if you actually look at Clouds expression when Barret gets stabbed he looks absolutely mortified. Thirdly, simply a different situation, remember that Tifa cried at Aeriths death but simply let out a half-hearted "Barret" when he got stabbed? Aerith is also much more representative of innocence, the guardian of the planet, while Barret is a grown ass terrorist fighting a war against shinra. There is also the meta-reasons that Barret wasn't really dead, the characters might not know that, but the developers do and they're not going to give an overly dramatic scene of grieving at what is essentially a fake-out.
Thanks for the question.
āIām strong when I'm determined. I worked hard selling those steamed buns, making money, saving it up, and paying back what I owed. On my days off, I trained and reviewed my martial arts. It wasnāt hard sticking to the same routine every day anymore.ā
āIn my opinionā¦ā said Red XIII, āit suits your personality.ā
āThatās right. I may have been attracted to a bustling lifestyle full of glamour and glitz, but what I actually craved was privacy and stability. Sure, there might not be a lot going on to spice things up, but to make up for that, bad things didnāt happen. I just took my showers, patted myself on the back and called it a day!ā
āBut the situation changed again.ā
āHowād you guess?ā
āIām beginning to see a pattern here.ā
ā»
Every few days, a young man would come to buy lunch. He would hang around for about a minute each time and watch over her with a gentle smile as she worked. Tifa recognized him as a regular.
āHappy 18th birthday,ā said the young man.
āHuh?ā Her hands automatically froze. āHow did youāā
āBecause youāve already celebrated your 17th.ā
That jogged her memory. He had to have been one of the people at the Planetology movie screening that Jessie had brought her to see. Her pulse quickened.
āTifa, whatās the matter?ā said Uncle, his tone piercing. Sometimes, customers would turn up to talk and monopolize her time, wanting her all to themselves. Uncle must have mistaken the young man to be one of these men. She told him everything was okay, lowered her voice and asked the man, āDo you know Jessie? What about Biggs and Wedge? They were with me that day.ā
The young manās expression turned gloomy.
āYeah. There are rumors floating around that those guys are in Avalanche, so I've been distancing myself from them. Not everyone who studies Planetology agrees with their ways.ā
āOf course not.ā She needed to play along.
āAre you looking for them?ā
āWe have a debt to settle.ā She hoped to be forgiven for that small lie.
The young man appeared the next day and ordered steamed buns.
āAbout what we discussed yesterday. I made some inquiries from my friends. The owner of the Stargazer Heights apartments in Sector 7 might know something about them. Sheās got connections.ā
āYou went through all that trouble to ask for me? Thank you!ā
āIād like a favor in returnā¦āāThe young man lowered his voice.āāCan I take a picture with you?ā
āOf course!ā
He handed his camera to another customer behind him and struck a pose. Tifa leaned forward over the food cart counter to fit inside the frame. Her smile came naturally.
āJust one more shot!ā
He wasnāt finished speaking before Uncle shouted from the back, āHey! Iām gonna charge for that!ā
Then came Wednesday. Compared to Sector 8, Sector 7 appeared to be much more cluttered. The entire place looked like one big alleyway, and the dustāperhaps due to the lack of proper pavement in several placesāwas quite concerning. Shops were lined up haphazardly along the road.
Occasionally glancing up, she saw glimpses of the pillar that supported the Sector 7 plate. She checked for directions, and after asking people a few times, arrived at Stargazer Heights without getting too lost.
It was an old, two-story building lined with a row of doors in the common corridor outside. She noticed AC condenser units. Perhaps each room came equipped with an AC.Ā The rent here definitely won't be cheap, thought Tifa to herself.
A thin, elderly woman stood at the bottom of the stairs leading up to the second floor. She looked over at Tifa, her mouth ajar.
āWhy, if it isnāt Tifa!ā It was Marleāone of the patients hospitalized at Daminiās clinic. How many years had it been since they met? āWhat are the odds! Why didnāt you come and see me sooner?ā
āI didnāt know where you lived.ā
āBut you had my address, didnāt you? I gave it to, uh, whatās his faceā¦ The doctorās son.ā
Rakesh hadnāt told her anything. It couldnāt have possibly slipped his mind if he had been told. If that was the case, then maybe he never intended for her to know...
āHow is the wound on your chest?ā asked Marle.
āMuch better. But there's still some pain.ā
āMy backās taking its sweet time to heal too, even though itās been my pride and joy and once mesmerized numerous men. Anyway, where are you off to? Iām quite well known around these parts. Ask me anything.ā
āIs this Stargazer Heights? I came to see the landlord who owns these apartments. I heard she has connections.ā
āWhy, thatās me!ā
āReally?! You see, Iāve been searching for some people.ā
āWho are you looking for? Tell me.ā
āJessie, Biggs, and Wedge.ā
Marle narrowed her eyes. āBiggs and Wedge are in the Neighborhood Watch. Jessieās a young girl whoās often with them.ā
Bingo.
āTheyāre my friends. We hung out together last year, but I have no idea where theyāve gone now.ā
Marleās eyes were completely shut. She appeared to be thinking over something.
āHow much do you know about that group?ā
āYou mean... Avalanche?ā whispered Tifa.
āI understand. So? Do those guys know where to find you?ā
āYes. They came over a few times.ā
āAnd have you considered their feelingsāof those people who donāt want to meet you?ā
āYes. Thatās why, even if we canāt see each other, all I want to know is if they're okay. I was about to give up on that, but I got some info that might lead me to them, and I just couldnāt pass it up! I wanted to give it one more shot before I really gave up.ā
āHmm. Iāll look into it. Do you have some time?ā
āYes. Until evening, at least.ā
āAlright then. Come here.ā
Marle gestured for her to come closer, gave detailed instructions on how to get to a bar owned by one of her acquaintances, and then asked her to wait there.
ā»
āAnd this is where another connection was formed. The name of the bar and restaurant was āSeventh Heavenā.ā
ā»
The Seventh Heaven bar and restaurant was larger than she had imagined. The terrace alone, built one level above the ground, could accommodate four food carts. The interior could easily fit eight carts. If each sold 1,000 steamed buns in a day, then she could make 36,000 gil per day and pay off her debt in just a few days! Thinking about that brought a bitter smile to Tifaās face.
She surveyed the interior once more. Wiping the food carts from her imagination, she realized the place was empty. In front of her, sat a glass of iced tea, white and cloudy. She noticed the chip in the glass too.
From the look of it, the person tending to the bar and restaurant was the old man who was by himself at the counter. His hair and mustache were pure white. He wore a neat grey suit with a necktie and seemed the very picture of a proper gentleman. But, the man had a terrible complexion; He was deathly pale.
She recalled his frail voice and how slowly he moved when handing over her drink; if any more customers were to come in, she doubted heād be able to handle them. It was obvious why the place was emptyāA pity for such a nice establishment.
āSorry to keep you waiting,ā said Marle as she slipped into the seat opposite Tifa. She did not look like she would be ordering any drinks for herself.
āAbout finding your friends. I've made arrangements to let them know you're searching for them. They'll find out for sure. You can be certain of that. I guarantee it. But the rest is up to them. You canāt force them. Understood?ā
āYes.ā Things hadnāt gone the way she expected, but she felt like this was a step forward in the right direction. āThank you.ā
āNowās not a good time.ā Marle spoke in hushed tones. āThings are shaky for those at the top in Avalanche. Shinra senses this and is continuing with the Avalanche hunt. Avalanche has had a series of their meetings shut down. Nobody can get a hold of them, and they seem to be breaking off into smaller groups. Thatās why theyāre easily getting squashed by Shinra.ā
āI seeā¦ā
The image of Jessie who had escaped, blood dripping down her face, flashed in her mind. So that fiasco was still ongoing then?
āOh right,ā said Marle, as if something had popped into her mind. āYour message will reach your friends. Provided theyāre still alive, of course. Iām sure that partās obvious to you.ā
Marle walked her to the train station to send her on her way home. Along the way, the topic of the deserted Seventh Heaven was brought up. Old Man Monty, who was tending to the counter, was the owner and manager. After selling cocktails at a food cart for ages, his dream was finally realized with the construction of the bar. Business was thriving when it first opened, but lately night-time operations had ceased.
āA charming bartender used to serve drinks there, but she quit. Set her sights on becoming a Shinra employee and moved to the top of the Plate. Heās been looking for a replacement, but hadnāt had any luck finding one. To make matters worse, Montyās lost all his energy with his declining health. He's actually younger than he looks, you know. He and I are around the same age.ā
Marle sighed.
āIs that bartender who quit the only person who knows how to make those cocktails?ā
āMonty is a first-class bartender himself, but his elbows and shoulders are all worn-out. If we don't do something, that place is going to fall into the wrong hands. He still owes quite a bit of money to the carpenter who built the bar.ā
āThatās a pity. Itās a nice place.ā
āRight?ā
Just a little further down and they would reach the train station. Marle stopped and seized her by the arms.
āDo you love money?ā Her tone was hushed and secretive.
āI donāt know about love, but I need it.ā
āGood answer.ā Marle seemed satisfied. āNow, Tifa. When is your next day off? Want to come over again?ā
āI have Wednesdays offā¦ But why? What's going on?ā
āIād like your help at the Seventh Heaven. You can come every Wednesday.ā
āHuh?ā
āIāll talk to Monty about it. Sounds interesting, don't you think?ā
Actually it did. Besides, it seemed like it would be fun. It had been a while since she remembered what āhaving funā felt like.
āIt's your only day off. If you plan on resting, you should certainly do so. But I have to tell you this.ā Marle lowered her voice. āWhat the former bartender earned is supposedly eight times what you make doing sales.ā
āDonāt worry. Iāll be there.ā
In the back of her mind she thought perhaps it was a mistake on her part to make an instant reply.
She had heard somewhere that when you have something to look forward to, your work becomes more fulfilling. Uncle was in high spirits since sales were doing well. What she needed was to rearrange her schedule so that Wednesdays would be free from morning until night.
On Wednesdays, she usually reviewed her lessons from the secret manuals all in one go, so what she would have to do was portion out and allot those exercises to other days instead. Now that the purpose of her training wasnāt simply to ākill timeā, she had one less obligation to worry about.
Wednesday arrived. She hurried over to see Marle early in the morning, and the two headed to Seventh Heaven together.
Monty, elated to the point of overwhelming Tifa, told her he looked forward to her success. Apparently, he valued her two years of experience working at the food stall.
The restaurant would open at 11 a.m. and serve lunch until 2 p.m. There would be a daily special plate, and that would be the only dish served on the menu. Monty would handle the cooking. From 2 p.m. until 7 p.m. would be tea time. Drinks were coffee, black teaāhot and coldāand two types of juices. There would be cake and cookies too. Except for the coffee and tea, everything else would be purchased from other shops. Bar time would start from 7 p.m. to midnight where they would serve drinks and simple snacks. Since the opening of the bar, their cocktails had been their pride and joy. But, after the bartender had quit, they could no longer serve them.
āI have this pain in my elbows, you see, so I canāt shake a mixer,ā said Monty.
āArenāt there plenty of other cocktails that donāt need to be shaken?ā said Marle.
āMarle, you know itās not about that. A bartender who canāt even shake a cocktail shouldnāt be serving them. Itās a matter of principle.ā
āWho cares about that when your bar is on the line? Youāre a fool!ā
āExcuse meā¦ā Tifa interrupted with some hesitation. āWhat do youĀ mean by that? Shake what?ā
Both Monty and Marle turned to Tifa, stunned.
On that same day, Tifa walked around the inside of the bar and on the terrace, waiting to serve customers until 8 p.m. as they had agreed.
"It's easy for dust to collect on the terrace tables, so make sure to check on them and wipe them clean,ā said Marle.
Following Marle's instructions, Tifa went outside onto the terrace, and it was there that she felt the eyes of passersby on the road, in a little square in front of the bar, look over in her direction. No, not just passersby, but people in the surrounding shops and houses too.
āTifa, your face looks too stiff.ā
āIām feeling a bit nervous. Theyāre watching me, arenāt they?ā
āOf course theyāre watching you. Who else would it be?ā
It finally dawned on her. He must be using her to draw customers to the bar. The same way Uncle did. Alright then. If that was how it was going to be, then so be it. But what she didnāt like was the idea that that was the only thing people saw in her. She wanted to garner respect from Marle and Monty for her skills. It was no longer fun for her knowing that she was only being used for her looks.
āExcuse me, butā¦ā She mustered up the boldness to speak up. āThe lunch plate doesnāt look appetizing at all. Iām really sorry. I know I just started here today.ā
āDonāt be. I understand. Iām aware of that myself. Something needs to be done.ā
āIām sure you can manage. And Iām sure Marle will give us some advice too.ā
āI donāt want to owe her more than I already do, but it canāt be helped. Letās bring it up to her next week.ā
That week, what should have been a deserted bar and restaurant was jam-packed to her disbelief. Once it turned into bar time, Monty, persuaded and prodded by Marle, made cocktails at the counter. Tifa worked busily among the merry drunks.
At 8 p.m., as specified, Monty paid her 1,000 gil.
āSo much?!ā
āThat's roughly 50 percent of our sales so far. If you stay here until midnight, Iāll give you twice as much. Drinks brings in good profits.ā
"Wow, that's great! But Iāll have to excuse myself for today. I have work tomorrow too."
"I hear you. Iāll be waiting for you next week then.ā
After making arrangements with him, she was preparing to leave when Marle entered, her voice echoing in the bar, "Come on, Tifa! Time to go!"
The room became filled with groans and protests. Marle glanced over at Tifa and laughed unapologetically.
āIāll be back next week! I look forward to working here at Seventh Heaven!ā
Tifa bowed her head and walked out. It was a different kind of exaltation from what she felt after achieving the sales goal at the food stall. On top of that, the pay was 1,000 gil with the potential to be 2,000.
ā»
Beside her, Red XIIIās entire body shook.
āYouāre laughing, arenāt you? Youāre definitely laughing at me!ā
āYouāre just imagining things.ā
Even his voice was trembling.
āIf I didnāt pay back all that money, Iād still be trapped, okay? I couldnāt help it. But it sure does seem like money was the only thing on my mind at the time.ā
āI heard someone say that chasing after gil can change a person.ā
āThatās true. But in my case, Iād prefer to call it āgrowthā.ā
ā»
Early in the morning on the next Wednesday, after she showered and returned to her container, Rakesh came over.
āMorning, Tifa! Heading out somewhere again today?ā
āUmm, I made plans to see my friend.ā
āOh, so you made some friends.ā
She struggled to answer him. Even if she really had had plans, was it necessary to tell Rakesh?
āOh, sorry, sorry. Youāre free to do anything you like. I mean, itās your day off.ā
āWhat was it you needed?ā
āMansonās getting worried. Worried that you might be working somewhere else. At least thatās the info he got.ā
āWell, Iām not.ā That might have come out too harsh. Lying made her tense up.
āWell, thatās fine. I'm just letting you know.ā
āOkay.ā
āYouāre mine.ā Rakesh looked like he was in pain. āIām not actually saying that to you, alright? Itās justā¦you were placed under my supervision, so I have my own responsibilities.ā
āI understand.ā
When did Rakesh Orange start to become only a gloomy presence in her life? So was Manson who was always lurking behind him. Regardless of what type of person he was, she intended to pay back every last gil. It was a matter of stubbornness and pride. With the steamed bun business booming, it wasnāt hard on her. She and Uncle also had great teamwork. But if she could earn good income at the Seventh Heaven on top of that, perhaps she could get rid of her debt sooner?
However, an incident occurred at the Seventh Heaven.
āMonty collapsed at the end of last week. It was his heart,ā Marle informed her.
āHuh?ā Tifa felt like her own heart was being squeezed.
āThey might have saved his life, but it wonāt be easy for him to continue working in this business. Such a pity. He was so eager too.ā
āI seeā¦ā
She recalled how his face lit up when he talked about doing the lunch set. Like a grandfather speaking about his own grandchild. The kind of eyes she saw plenty of times among the seniors in the Calisthenics Club. Perhaps the Seventh Heaven was like a grandchild to Monty, or perhapsā¦
āThese past three days, Iāve been doing the best I could, but baked sweets, coffee and tea are the only things I know how to serve,ā said Marle. āWeāll go with those items today. And no food. Weāll need to open at 11 am and close by 5 p.m. as well.ā
ā5 p.m.? Isnāt that too early?ā
āAny later than that and the number of intoxicated customers will start to climb. Sorry, but I don't want to be around drunks. And youāre still a beginner yourself.ā
Her plans came crashing down. The news made for a lacklustre morning. Despite that, she and Marle went ahead and got things ready, and then opened doors for business.
āGood grief! Heās here again!ā Marle, who was behind the counter, had leaned over and was peering outside. āHeās been squatting down in that terrace seat every single day since the week before, idling over that one cup of coffee and a glass of juice for hours.ā
She glanced through the window and noticed a large, dark-skinned man about to take his seat. Across from him was a little girl. Tifa couldnāt help smiling at the sight of her. The little girl struggled to climb into her chair. It didnāt look safe. The man, whom Tifa took to be her father, noticed the child, gathered her in his arms and hoisted her safely into her seat.
āTheyāre father and daughter. Barret and Marlene Wallace. Marlene says sheās ātwo yearth oldā.ā
āYou asked her?ā
āWell, Iām an old, meddlesome lady. You think Iād just stand around and not say a word? Oh, by the way, theyāre both homeless. Come on. Go and take their orders.ā
Their orders were, sure enough, one cup of coffee and a glass of juice. When she finished preparing the drinks and brought them over, Marlene told her āthank youā in a lovely, sweet voice. Tifa nodded slightly towards her. Barret, on the other hand, only slid his sunglasses up and glared at people.
An hour passed since then.
āWeāre not getting any customers.ā
Only two parties came, drank their coffee and hurriedly left. Last weekās crowd felt like a dream.
āIn my estimation, there were at least five customers who were about to walk up the stairs. They were probably all after you though."
The time kept on ticking. Another hour and they would have to close shop.
āMarle, I donāt want to be like this, but itās so hard not to be upset.ā
āYouāre talking about Barret, arenāt you? He keeps on scowling at people walking by. No wonder weāre losing customers.ā
āThereās that, too. But Iām talking about that little girlāabout Marlene. I feel sorry for her. If you go up close, youāll see how dirty her clothes are! Donāt you feel bad for her?ā
āOh thatā¦ā
āCanāt we do something to help herā¦?ā
āTifa, youāre talking to a veteran at meddling. Canāt even count the number of times Iāve gotten myself into trouble by sticking my nose into other peopleās business. So hereās a warning for you. Before you start interfering, decide ahead of time what your boundaries are first.ā
āBoundaries...?ā
āTake this drink over to that little girl. Tell her itās on the house. Thatās as far as Iām getting involved when it comes to those two. Smells like trouble to me.ā
She started preparing the glass of juice with feelings of uncertainty in her heart. Boundaries. How far would she be willing to go to help the child? If she wasnāt going to help her all the way, then wouldnāt it be better to leave things alone? She placed a straw into the drink and carried it out onto the terrace.
āTell them itās almost time for us to close,ā said Marle.
Two chairs were lined up together with Marlene curled up into a ball sound asleep on top. What a poor yet lovely little girl! She looked so small and tiny. Barret Wallace then leaned his entire body over the table and scowled out at the road, and it was at the moment she realized he was missing his right hand. His arm ended at the wrist and a dirty cloth was draped over itāthe cloth fastened to his arm with a leather strap that was wound round and round over it.
Tifa became terrified. Mishaps. War. Violence. Blood splattering.
Barret noticed and looked at her. He removed his sunglasses revealing a pair of large eyes with surprisingly long lashes. Despite the atmosphere that radiated from his entire body, his eyes were charming. Alright. She would look only at his eyes while talking to him.
āThis is for Marlene. Itās on the house.ā She placed the glass down near Marlene, trying not to wake her. āOh, and also Iām really sorry but weāll be closing at 5 pm today.ā
āYouāre kidding?ā Barret, taken by surprise, stared at her with a bewildered look on his face.
āNo, Iām not kidding. Actually, due to circumstances, we wonāt be serving any alcohol, so weāre taking a break from our nighttime business.ā
āYouāre kiddingā¦ā
āNo, Iām not. Iām really sorry.ā
āI heard you!ā The man backed down easily, but the way he talked to her was rude. It bothered her. She wanted to tell him off but suppressed the thought and left the table. When she put her hand on the door leading into the bar, her leather braceletāa gift from Master Zangan on the last birthday she celebrated in Nibelheimācame into view. Emotions were to be controlled. She was supposed to look at it whenever she felt overwhelmed by her emotions.
Tifa wondered if she managed to keep her emotions in check earlier. However, could it be just an excuse for her not to do anything? Perhaps her archenemy wasnāt just that strong anger that made her forget reason but also her tendency to avoid trouble by taking only temporary measures or feigning sympathy. Ever since she was a child, she was easily influenced. Perhaps that was the reason why she had so many unwanted memories?
āI wonāt lose,ā she muttered to herself, and then returned to Barretās table once more.
āWhat do you want? Still got an hour left, donāt I?ā
āYes, you do. But when time is up, where will you go? Where do you plan on taking Marlene?ā
āā¦ā¦.ā
āWhere do you sleep everyday?ā
āDifferent places.ā
āOh really? And do you have a change of clothes? Sheās not wearing any socks. Does she even have any? And her shoes have holes in them.ā
āYou see plenty like us around the slums, donāt you?ā
āNot to this point.ā
āWell, at least we aināt dead.ā
Tifa slammed her hands on the table, giving even Barret a jolt.
āSo itās okay as long as youāre not dead? You need to do better than that! Get her washed up and put on some clean clothes for her. Doesnāt matter if theyāre hand-me-downs.ā
āDaddyā¦ā The noise must have woken up Marlene. āDaddy, is she yelling at you?ā
āNo, uhh, yeahāUh, no.ā
āPlease donāt be mad at Daddy.ā
Marlene glanced up at Tifa with an expression full of sadness.
āIām sorry. Did I wake you?ā Tifa turned to Marlene and smiled.
Marlene shook her head from side to side and said, āDonāt yell.ā
āOkay, I wonāt.ā
āThanks.ā As she inclined her head, little flakes of dandruff fell from it. Tifa caught a whiff of her unwashed body odor. She couldnāt take it anymore and glared at Barret.
āAfter we close up shop, youāre both coming with me to Sector 8.ā
āHuh?ā
Marlene watched her with trepidation. Tifa turned toward Barret and lowered her voice. āWhen youāre here, you scare away all the customers.ā
Barret, still dumbfounded, said, āSorry about that. I mean it.ā
āPlease donāt yell at Daddy,ā Marlene pleaded once more.
What kind of life had these two been leading up until now?
When she explained the situation to Marle, the woman gave her an expression that conveyed complete exasperation, and said, āI thought I warned you.ā
āYes. And I heard every single word.ā
āGood grief! Youāre worse than I am! Wait for me. Iāll be back in time to close up shop.ā
She hadnāt been tending the shop for more than an hour before Marle returned, appearing on the terrace and calling out to Barret. The large man removed his sunglasses as he listened to Marle speak, and kept repeatedly thanking her. What was happening? Not long after, Marle led Barret and Marlene inside the bar.
āMontyās room is in the basement. Itās a livable space. Weāll have Barret and his daughter use it. Iāve already gone to ask for his permission.ā
āWhoās this Monty you all keep talking about?ā asked Barret.
āHe was working at the counter last weekāThe white-haired man.ā
āThat old fart?ā
āDonāt be rude. He happens to own this place.ā Barret ducked his head at Marleās words. It was amusing watching every single one of his exaggerated movements. He might be a bit rough around the edges and inconsiderate as well, but he didnāt seem like a bad guy. āMontyās been worried about Marlene since you first showed up.ā
āShould go and shake his hand.ā
Marle drew close to the corner wall, checked down at her feet, and then jumped lightly with thud! Then the floor, partitioned into squares, began to sink. It was an elevator.
āWow!ā cried Marlene, rushing over. Barret shouted for her to be careful, but panicking, gathered her into his arms.
āYou guys should come too!ā Marle's clear voice called from below. The floor partition rose back up again. Barret turned to Tifa. She nodded at him, and then went to stand on top of the elevator floor. Barret, with Marlene in his arms, lined up beside her.
āDaddy, are you gonna make it go BOOM?ā
āYeah.ā Barret jumped up and stomped on the floor, and once the floor fell, the three of them descended. A section of the original floor passed in front of them, and they could see the basement. There was a comfortable looking room with a soft bed, an expensive looking sofa table, and two chairs. There was also a TV. It looked like a good place for two people to live.
āMonty wanted a secret base. Just like a little kid. He spent way too much money on all these contraptions and whatnot. Says he wants to put a pinball machine up there. Weāll see about that! Well then. Make yourselves at home.ā
āWhereās Monty? I need answers from him to make sense of all this.ā
āWell, I donāt know about getting answers, but itāll have to wait until tomorrow. Alright you two. Get moving. Time for you both to shower. Youāre stinking up the whole place. Oh, and here. Some clothes for Marlene to change into. Itās a complete set from top to bottom. From the looks of it, sheās not wearing diapers anymore, is she?ā
āNope!ā Marlene bragged.
Tifa wanted to throw her arms around her and hug her. This new feeling that arose within her startled herāWas this what people called maternal instincts?
āAlright thenā¦ Tifa? Leave the rest to me and you can justāOh! Almost forgot! Letās go back upstairs for a bit.ā
The two of them stood on the elevator.
āYou have to jump on it!ā said Marlene.
Marle narrowed her eyes, and then stomped on the floor. Tifa thought about what kind of person Monty was for making such a contraption. What sort of life had this white-haired grandfatherly gentleman been leading up until now?
āIād like to go and greet Monty, and maybe see how heās doing.ā
āNowās not a good time. You can go after things have quieted down a bit.ā
āI seeā¦ā
āCome on. Itās okay! Iāll look after him. Goodness gracious! Weāre hopelessly linked together. Anyway, enough about that. Donāt you think Barret would make a great bodyguard with those fierce looks? We need lots of help with the physical work at the bar too.ā
Tifa burst out laughing. Wasnāt that basically a bottomless act of kindness? Wasnāt Marle the one against the idea when Tifa brought it up to her that she was going to take them with her to Container Alley in Sector 8? When Tifa pointed that out to her, Marle shrugged it off.
āI hate losing, thatās all. Even when it comes to meddling, I canāt let myself lose to you, missy.ā
As they arrived at the terrace, Marle, careful of their surroundings, said, āI received a message from Jessie. She said to tell you, āI'm going to see you on my day off the week after next. Wait for my call.ā
The week after next! It was more good news than she had expected.
āHow about that then?ā Marle boasted.
āThank you so much!ā
āBut aside from that, I can still count on you next week, right?ā
āOf course,ā she said, and then left the Seventh Heaven. Turning back several times to look, she noticed some customers visibly disappointed that the bar was closed. Did they come there for her? Tifa regretted not being able to greet them with a smile.
The idea occurred to her that perhaps it would be good for her to learn how to make cocktails. If she could learn, they could reopen the business at night and not have to wait until Monty had recovered. It was a fascinating idea. But before that, she should think about developing the lunch menu first. Ideas, no, dreams popped into her head one after another.
"Welcome back." Rakesh greeted her in the passageway. He had been waiting for her where Gatekeeper used to always sit.
"I'm back."
"Where did you go?" he began to ask, but cut himself off and shook his head from side to side. "Sorry! Sorry! You see, these kinda questions just come out naturally.ā
"What are you doing here?"
"I'm working as the security guard until we can find a replacement."
"Oh, really? Must be hard on you."
"Yeah, maybe. But you do what you gotta do."
"That's true. Well, good night."
Tifa, fearing that Rakesh would bring up again that they couldn't escape from Manson, got away from him. She unlocked her container, went inside, and turned on the lights. Wow, what a life of misery! She felt like the few good things that happened today all got wiped out the moment she returned to the container.
She retrieved the knapsack hidden at the bottom of her clothes bin and began to count what was inside. But it wasnāt necessary for her to count to know how much money she had. There was enough to finish paying off her debt a year sooner. In other words, just two more years. Just two more years and she would be released from Manson's rules. She suddenly felt energized. She rose up and began reviewing her kata.
It had been several years since she saw Zangan. She wondered where he could be. The flow of her kata had completely changed into the āTifa-ryuā, into her own style. Was that okay? She wanted his guidance. Was he somewhere here in Midgar? Was he even looking for her? All he had to do was go to Damini's clinic and ask about her, and theyād be able to tell him where to find her. Rakesh could show him the way.
"Oh!" She had forgotten. When Marle was discharged, she had told Rakesh her whereabouts, didn't she? What did he do with that information? She left her container and returned to the main street in the alley.
āRakesh.ā
"Hm?"
"Did Marle ever give you her address?"
"Marle?" Was he trying to play dumb? "Ahh. You mean that old grandma who was hospitalized several years ago? I remember her. But, her address? Not a clue. She's really old. Maybe she's going senile. Lots of people like her think that they did something, but it turns out they didn't. Like I told you, she never told me anything like thatāā
He was rambling. His conscience must have really bothered him.
"Have you seen Master Zangan?"
"No, I haven't."
"Since when?"
"Uhh... Let me think..."
Had this guy always been such a terrible liar? She was furious at herself for not having seen through his lies. She squeezed over her left hand with the leather bracelet. On second glance, she saw that the cord had turned completely black.
"It's been a really long time since we met."
"If you see Master Zangan, make sure to tell him about me. Tell him about this place, about the food stall, and where to find me. Let Dr. Damini know about this too."
"Yeah, of course."
His smile had returned. Perhaps because he thought that their difficult conversation was finally over.
The next Wednesday, there was sad news waiting for Tifa who had been so excited to see Marlene again. Monty had passed away. His condition became critical on Sunday night, and then by early Monday morning, he had taken his last breath. Barret and Marlene were able to speak to him on Sunday and thanked him for lending them the basement room.
"I was supposed to take you to go and see him next week. I'm so sorry for what I did," Marle apologized, clutching Tifa's hands. Then, without a hitch, she said, "Alright! I promised Monty this. We're going to work our butts off and make this place come alive once more!"
Marle, Barret, and even Marlene faced forward and started moving. Work was divided among them for the opening preparations. Barret mopped the floors with intensity. Little Marlene went around wiping down chairs with a rag. She wore a cute one piece dress with a large decorative ribbon tied around her waist, and her hair was brushed until it was nice and shiny.
"We're only staying open until 5 pm in the evening again. No alcohol. Afterward, I'd like to talk to both of you about something. Something Monty wanted me to discuss."
A decent number of guests showed up that day. Marle laughed, saying that it was a good thing Barret left right when they opened. It seemed to be part of his daily routine ever since he started living in the basement. He would leave Marlene with Marle and go out. Marlene would sit at a childrenās stool at the counter and tend to the shop.
āBarret and Marlene came to Midgar a year ago when Marlene was still a baby,ā said Marle, careful to speak so as to not let Marlene hear. āThey wandered around from place to place studying Planetology. Whenever he heard there was a gathering or a screening, he would show up. Thatās why he started camping out on the terrace, looking for a young woman he met at one of those screenings. Her name wasā¦āāMarle lowered his voice.āāone you know pretty well. Jessie. Jessie Rasberry.ā
Tifa nodded quietly.
āThe rest is up to you. Iāll respect whatever decision you make. But that wonāt stop me from giving my opinion.ā Having said that, Marle left the counter to serve customers. Tifa was suddenly curious, so she peeked behind the counter, and her eyes met Marlene's. She puffed out her cheeks and crossed her eyes at Marlene. It was the kind of funny face her mother was so good at making for her. What on earth was going on with her? Marlene burst into peals of laughter.
After the shop was closed and when it was time to clear things away, Barret returned. Today either, he couldn't find the woman named Jessie whom he was looking for.
āCome on, Marlene!ā called out Marle. "Want to go and watch some tv downstairs? Stamp the Loyal Dog is about to start.ā
āStamp?ā Marlene turned to look at Barret.
āGo on! Go and see!ā
With a good-natured "okay", Marlene went to the movable part of the floor. She shouted out, āBoom!ā and jumped into the air. The moment she landed, the floor began to drop. Marlene waved goodbye at them as she descended down below.
āNow then. Tifa, you first. This one is simple. Itās a souvenir for you from Monty,ā said Marle, leaving a memo book on the countertop. āIt contains his lifeās workāHis cocktail recipes. He told me to give this to you.ā
Her heart was pounding in her chest. This felt like destiny. Calling it ādestinyā would not be an overstatement. The memo book was the same size as the secret manuals that Zangan had given her. Even the color of the paper was the same.
āAre you sure itās okay for me to have this?ā
āAs long as it's not too heavy.ā
āIāll hold on tight.ā
Tifa took the notes and flipped through them. It was covered with Montyās meticulous handwriting and drawings.
āWhoa, incredible! If you learn how to make them and open the bar at night, business will be booming! I can work as a bodyguard. See any pesky drunks, and Iāll catch them by the neck and toss them straight out!ā
āThat might actually be fun. It would be nice if we could really make it happen,ā said Tifa.
āThought so!ā Barret seemed proud.
Marle, however, dropped her gaze.
āWhatās the matter?ā asked Tifa.
āIf we donāt have 200,000 gil ready by the end of this month, the bar will change hands. Monty said that he hadn't been able to pay the carpenterāthe man whoās also the boss who named this bar the Seventh Heaven. The boss extended the due date, but it seems he's already run out of patience.ā
ā200,000 for this place? That's dirt cheap!ā
āThatās just the money due now. The rest we pay daily.ā
āOh, makes sense. Hold up! We donāt have any money! Doubt we even have 10 gil between us.ā
āMonty had 40,000 saved up, so we need 160,000. If we donāt have it ready, the bar will be sold. Itās a nice location, you see. Thereās plenty of buyers ready to snatch it right up.ā
āTch! Bet thatās gonna make Marlene sad,ā said Barret. He sounded so casual about it.
āDonāt tell me you plan on sleeping outdoors again?!ā exclaimed Marle.
āHey, weāve got good quality sleeping bags.ā
āUnbelievable!ā cried Tifa.
Sensing blame from her, Barret snorted in annoyance.
āI want Marlene to have good memories too. Wear her pretty little dresses, have her hair tied up, get to shower everyday, and sleep in a nice comfortable bed every night. But I donāt got money for all that! What do you want me to do? What I have instead is freedom. Just think. Whatāll happen to you if you get yourself into debt? Money will tie you down and make you feel trapped. Thatāll make your parents cry!ā
Barret was only talking about a hypothetical situation but it came as a shock to her. No matter how much hope she had in herself, anyone else looking at the situation she found herself living in would think that she was making her parents sad.
āWell, my parents are no longer here.ā
That was the one thing she could object to.
āHuh? Did I hit a nerve? Buried in debt at your age or something? Well, sorry about what I said. But even if theyāre dead, you still have your parents. Theyāre one with the planet, and youāre connected to the planet. And through that connection, youāll always be with them, whether theyāre dead or alive.ā
āWhen they die, they return to nothing,ā Marle interrupted. āThere are no more regrets. Theyāll continue living on in someoneās heart. Isnāt that good enough? If youāre gonna start lecturing on Planetology, youād better go elsewhere.ā
āHmph!ā
āWell, then, I guess we've come to a conclusion. I'm sorry, but this place is closing at the end of the month.ā
āAlright! Letās give it all weāve got till the end.ā
Why were they getting over it so easily? That frustrated Tifa. Was it all right to make such a quick decision on such an important matter?
āAre we gonna lose our house?ā asked Marlene. They didnāt know how long sheād been upstairs. āAre we gonna lose the store?ā
She looked like she was on the verge of tears.
āWerenāt you watching tv?ā asked Barret.
Marlene tilted her head to the side. āAre we gonna lose our house and have to sleep outside again?ā
āDonāt you worry. Daddy will make sure youāre okay. Iāll find us another house.ā
āBut I like it here.ā
Barret drew close and reached over to hug her, but she slipped through his hands and hid behind Tifa.
āI wanna stay here!ā she said before crying out in a heartbreaking wail.
āI have the moneyā160,000 gil,ā Tifa blurted out.
Marle and Barret turned to her in surprise. Was that okay? Was that the right thing to do?
When it was time for her to head home, Barret asked to walk her to the border of the slums. When she refused, he said he needed to talk to her. Marlene was left in Marleās care, and the two of them exited the Seventh Heaven.
āI'll pay you back. One day, I promise. Even if it means making my parents cry.ā
āNo. I want to work at the bar. I want to make cocktails using Monty's recipes and have lots of customers. I think itāll be fun. Itās true I felt sorry for Marlene, but she was only the catalyst. The truth is, it's for me. So forget about the money. If you really want to pay me back, you can buy a pinball machine for the bar.ā
āAlright.ā
The more they talked, the more she felt relieved. Yes. Yes, thatās what this was all about. For my future, for me to survive here, the bar will be my secret base.
āBy the way, I heard you know Jessie Rasberry?ā
She turned to Barret in surprise. āDid Marle tell you?ā
āNah. Heard it from Marlene. She knows Iāve been looking all over for Jessie.ā
Oh yeah. It had to be that one time. When Marle was telling her about what Barret was up to, Marlene had been there.
āCan you help us meet up?ā
āWhy do you want to see her? If you want to join a Planetology study group, I can introduce you to someone else I know. Some are among our customers.ā
āThe Planetology stuffās just a front. The real plan is to get into Avalanche. Iāve heard that Avalanche often blends into Planetology study groups, so whenever I caught wind of one of these study groups, Iād join. Out of all of them, the only one I knew for sure was Avalanche was Jessie. āCourse Iāve tried searching for others besides her, but Shinraās been clamping down on them. Theyāve all gone into hiding.ā
āGuess itās connected to the incident at the Corel Mako Reactor.ā
āMe and Marleneāweāre from Corel.ā
She looked at Barret, surprised.
āThey took our families and our homes from us. Everyone says it was Avalancheās doing but I know itās all Shinra. Iām gonna blow āem up into a million little pieces! Talking about the mako reactorsāGot that?ā
As they walked on, he pointed towards a reactor.
"If we donāt do something to stop them, theyāll destroy the planet. Those reactors are draining the lifeblood from it. I never really paid attention until I started studying Planetology. But, no matter how you look at it, you just can't go off and fight Shinra on your own. You need people on your side. We can do anything. Not alone. But we can if we work together. Ain't that the truth?ā
Jessie had told her something similar inside the container. She broke into a smile.
āCome on, Tifa. Iām begging you. I think this is the kinda 'connection' Marleās always talking about.ā
āCould be. But itās not my decision to make. I need to ask Jessie first.ā
āYeah. I owe you one!ā
She promised Barret she would talk to Jessie about him when they meet up next week, and the two of them parted ways.
A week would pass by without incident. At least thatās what she thought.Ā It happened on Tuesday evening. The Sector 8 Steamed Buns were selling well. After they wrapped up business and she had drawn the food cart back to base, Uncle said, "Hey, Tifa. You still hanging around with Avalanche?"
"Huh?ā
Did she ever tell him about that? She remembered he had given her a warning about it, but...
"Not anymore. They went away somewhere."
"That's good." He was unusually expressive. She wondered if something had happened.
"What's gotten into you all of a sudden?"
"At 10 o'clock tomorrow night, Avalanche will be holding a meeting. Shinra plans on attacking them right then and there. They're preparing helicopters and special forces up top.ā
"They are?"
"You're the best partner a man could ever have. I donāt ever wanna see you looking down. If you have friends there, I think you should let them know."
"Thank you. But Iām okay."
"Yeah. Alright then. I'll see you after the break. Let'sĀ challenge ourselves to 1,500!"
For some time now, she had been feeling a sense of guilt, as if she was betraying Uncle.
"Um, Iā" Tifa stopped in her tracks. "After I finish paying Manson, I'm going to quit."
Uncle hooted in surprise. "So you've got enough to pay him back?"
"I still have a ways to go, but I want you to know now."
"Then let's aim for 2,000. You'll be able to pay him back sooner that way, right?"
Rakesh was there on the road in Container Alley.
"Welcome home."
"Thanks."
She tried to walk past while avoiding his gaze.
"Hey, Tifa. You have tomorrow off, right? It's been a while. Mind visiting the clinic?"
"Sorry. I have plans tomorrow."
"Ah, well never mind. Another time," said Rakesh, backing away.
After she had walked a short distance toward her container, she changed her mind and turned around.
āI'll stay here and work until I pay everything back. You don't need to worry.ā
She would use all of her savings towards the Seventh Heaven. That was why she needed to double her efforts to pay back her loan. That was the right thing to do. She was positive.
āNow then!ā
Tifa returned to her container and agonized over her thoughts. She needed some way to inform Jessie that Shinra was planning on attacking during the Avalanche meeting. There was a possibility Jessie was already aware. Besides, there was no telling if she would even participate in that meeting. But Tifa couldnāt just leave it alone like that. There had to be some way of getting the message across to her.
āOh!ā She had a sudden flash of inspiration. It was worth a try. Walking out of the container, she ran over to Shower Guard.
"Good evening."
"Hi there, Tifa. Here to shower?"
"But first, please listen to me," Tifa whispered. "At 10 o' clock tomorrow, Avalanche will be holding theirĀ meeting. That info got leaked to Shinra Company. I need to get this information out to the people at Avalanche.ā
āWhy are you telling me? The only ones saying my sonās with Avalanche are the people at Shinra. Well, even if itās true, I havenāt seen him in ten years. I have no way of knowing.ā
āRightā¦ā
āBut still, whereād you get your hands on such dangerous information?ā
āFrom someone I work with. People call him āUncle.āā
She wondered if it was alright to talk to her about it. Did Shower Guard, by any chance, know who Uncle was?
āHmm. Well, I wonāt say I donāt know him, but I canāt help you.ā
On that note, she stopped talking altogether.
"I'm sorry for bringing up something strange like this."
There was no response.
Maybe she could ask Marle to pass on the message again. Even though each time it took a long time to reach them, perhaps that was her best option. What if she headed over to Sector 7 now? It was late at night, but sheād have to be at the bar in the morning anyway. She could probably stay there overnight. As she was getting ready, she heard someone knock at her door.
āNo need to open.ā It was Shower Guardās voice. āAfter we talked, I remembered my son's contact info. I tried calling that number and the call went through. I gave him the information you gave me. He said thank you, and heās going to tell all his friends.ā
āThanks.ā
āThereās one more thing. A message from the other side. āTomorrow, Wednesday night at 9 oāclock, at the movie theater on your birthday.āā
āHuh?ā
She sensed Shower Guard leaving. She didnāt know what the message meant. But then it hit her. It had to be Jessie. The movie theater on her birthday must be the empty house where she had celebrated her 17th birthday.
She went in for her shower early the next morning. Even though she and Shower Guard saw each other, the woman acted as if nothing had happened. Maybe that was her way of doing things. There was so much she wanted to ask her. Like how fast it took to communicate. Apart from her son, did she also get in touch with Jessie? She said she remembered her son's contact info, but the line of communication in the Slums was supposedly worse than in Nibelheim. She wondered if there was some method they knew of that she didnāt.
As Tifa left her container to go to Sector 7, she turned back just before leaving the alleyway to look at a group of containers lined up. She had been trying not to think about it, but wondered what kind of people lived there. It was funny to imagine Jessie secretly living in one of those containers. That seemed so unlikely.
The interior of the Seventh Heaven was bustling with activity, even though the shop was still preparing to open. Marlene was running around wiping down the chairs.
āLast three or four days, Marleneās been getting popular. Business is booming. We can do just fine without serving alcohol!ā said Barret.
āWhat nonsense. We still have a ways to go. Now, Tifa. About the payment we owe to the boss. Next Wednesday at seven oā clock in the evening, do you mind handing it over to him here? Iāll have him come over.ā
āAlright. I understand.ā
āBut how are you going to carry all that money?ā
āOh...ā She hadnāt thought about that. There were a lot of bills, but also coins too.
āIāll help you,ā said Barret. āWe can close up shop and move the money during the day.ā
āWe can still keep the business running without you. Leave the restaurant to Marlene and I. You two go and get the money.ā
āRoger that!ā answered Barret cheerfully.
āAlright then. Letās work hard today, shall we?ā
The bar and restaurant was thriving. As Barret had boasted, Marleneās presence was a huge factor. The number of customers with their families was increasing. It seemed to have been recognized as a place where people with children could enjoy.
As the evening wore on and the last of the guests were leaving, Marle approached her.
āDonāt forget sheās with Avalanche. Just because Jessieās a good person, doesnāt automatically mean her friends are good people. No, maybe they are, but people who preach about justice scare me. A lot of those guys think that as long as they're waving the flag of justice, they can do whatever they want.ā
āOkay.ā
āNow get out of here. Whenever I see your face I canāt stop lecturing.ā
āSorry for worrying you.ā
āYou should be sorry!ā
Marle seemed like she still had something she wanted to say, but Tifa left Seventh Heaven after promising to pay her next week. The meeting place with Jessie was on the Sector 8 side of the border between the Sector 8 and Sector 7 slums.
The house sat on a vacant lot bordered by the outer wall. When she had lost touch with Jessie, she went there several times by herself on her way home from work. The vacant lot was used as a scrap yard. She had never been in any danger but still felt nervous.
Nights in the slums were artificial, but nights on the outskirts felt closer to what was real. It was a different kind of horror being able to tell the difference. As she approached the periphery, the smell of the air changed. The night air smelled real.
āTifa.ā
She nearly jumped from fright from being suddenly called out, but when she turned around she was met with a face she had longed to see.
āJessie!ā
Jessie had on a jacket with a hood and jogging pants. She sprinted over to Tifa with light footsteps over piles of scraps.
āTifa, itās not safe here. Get awayā?!ā
For a moment, she had no idea what had happened. There was a crackling sound, and then sparks flew everywhere.
āWeāre being shot at. Letās run in a zig zag and head back to the slums.ā Jessie took her by the hand and they started running.
She heard the same sound again. More gunshots. Something grazed her cheek.
āOw!ā She touched the area and felt blood on her fingertips. The blood rushed in her ears.
āOver there!ā
But there was no time to spare even a look in any direction.
āTake me with you!ā
āOK!ā
The sound of gunfire started again. The bullets plunged into the ground, hitting scraps and scattering sparks, before bouncing away. Disorderly sounds. Weapons flying out. She was scared. She felt like throwing up.
"Careless."
āHuh?ā
āOpen your eyes. Look around you.ā
She hadnāt even realized her eyes were shut. The two girls hid behind the wreckage of a large, unidentified machineāa construction vehicle,Ā perhapsāand held their breaths.
āI think there are three guys shooting at us with machine guns. Theyāre hiding somewhere. This place looks safe, but once we make our escape, we'll have to expose ourselves temporarily."
The sound of gunshots ceased. Perhaps their location hadnāt been discovered.
"Ugh! No way! I bet they're waiting for us to make a move."
"Who is shooting at usāAnd why?"
āAvalanche scheduled a joint meeting today. It was supposed to be held near the outer wall in Sector 8, but word got out that our location was leaked out to Shinra, so it got cancelled. And then, surprise! Shinra had some sketchy info about an Avalanche meeting at the perimeter of the slums. So, right now, those guys are hitting every suspicious spot near the outer wall. Hear that? Listen carefully.ā
She heard the faraway echoes of gunshots and explosions. Helicopters were chopping through the skies above.
āThe place where I called you out to is practically right at the outer wall, so I started panicking. Luckily I got there just in time! If we climb over, weāre dead meat! Youāre probably wondering what the hell is going on. If this were a play, someone would come and save the heroine... But, I doubt thatāll happen in real life, huh? Tifa, are you carrying any weapons?ā
āNo. But Iāve trained in martial arts.ā
āCool! But I donāt suppose youāll be able to fight those guys shooting at us from faraway.ā
āNo. Probably not. I donā t know. I wonāt know unless I try.ā
āYou've never even done this before? Oh no you donāt! It's so typical of you self-confident people to act reckless!ā
Shots rang out. The bullets hit a piece of metal nearby, ricocheting with several bangs. Unlike before, the bullets rained without letup, the sounds changing from intermittent to continuous gunfire. The sound itself seemed to have the power to kill.
āIs this the routine where they approach while trying to intimidate us? I donāt wanna die! I canāt die! Weāll just have to surrender. We can look for a chance to escape after. Uh, a handkerchief. I need something white.ā
As Tifa sat puzzled, there was a very loud burst that sounded like thunder. Then, silence. No, she could still hear shots ringing, but it seemed to be coming from a distance.Ā Or had her ears been damaged from the noisy gunfire?
āHey! Tifa! You alright?ā
The voice was familiar.
āHuh? Whatās going on?ā said Jessie. āIs this where the hero comes in to save the heroine whoās in trouble?ā
āTifa! You alive?ā It was Barret calling for her.
āYeah, Iām alive!ā Her voice was differentāShe sounded weaker.
āAlright. Thereās no one here. Get outta thereāquick!ā
Jessie went first and then Tifa followed, stepping out of the shadows of the rusty vehicle.
āHey, Jessie. Long time no see.ā Barret was standing about ten meters away.
āWhatās going on? Barret, what are you doing here?ā asked Jessie.
āJust the person I wanted to see. Iāve been looking all over for you.ā
āCreep!ā
As she listened to their exchange, Tifa couldnāt take her eyes off Barretās right arm. There was a gunāor some kind of weaponāattached to it, thicker than his arm. She could see a number of muzzles. Was there still heat in it? The muzzles appeared to have a slightly red glow.
āBarret, your armā¦ā
āYou mean this? I usually take it off. Think of it as proof that I mean business.ā
Three Shinra soldiers were lying on the ground at his feet. So were their large and heavy guns, which had been used, unmistakably, to spray bullets at them earlier.
āThese bastards got a bit trigger-happy with you two. Kept on getting closer, and had their backs exposed. Now listen up, Tifa.ā
āHuh?ā
āIf I didnāt kill them, they would have got you.ā
āYeah.ā
āDonāt tell Marlene.ā
āI wonāt.ā
Gunshots were still ringing out in the distance. Helicopters were circling high and low in the air.
āHey you two?ā said Jessie. āShouldnāt we be running away by now?ā
āYeah, youāre right. Tifa, weāre going to your place.ā
āWhy?ā
āMarle told me to make sure you get home safe and sound. Jessie, you come too. We need to talk.ā
On the way to the Container Alley, Barret told them the story of how he ended up in that vacant lot.
āMarle said she had a really bad feeling about it, so she ordered meāmore like kicked me outāto follow Tifa out of the bar. Lost her once in that maze of scrap metal, but those Shinra idiots were shooting at you all like crazy, so I knew right away where you were.ā
āYou say it like youāre so proud of yourself.ā Jessie glared at him. āBut it was a pretty close call.ā
āWell, it turned out alright in the end, didnāt it? Hah!ā
Before long they entered the passageway. Rakesh, who was Acting Gatekeeper, stared at the three of them in surprise.
āTheyāre my friends.ā
āAlright. Got it.ā
Rakesh was overwhelmed by Barret. He took two obvious steps back. He looked so funny that she felt the tensionāwhich had been building since they were at the vacant lotāmelted away.
Exiting the passageway, they stood in front of her container.
āWelcome to my humble abode! Thanks for walking me home. Would you, by any chance, like to come inside?ā
āLooks cramped in there. I mean, itās not that I really wanna go in, but I need to talk to Jessie. We're gonna be talking about some dangerous stuff, so I appreciate you letting us borrow your room.ā
āIt's supposed to be our girlās night out.ā
āI'll make this quick.ā
She unlocked the door and opened it, ushering Barret in first, then Jessie, and then squeezed herself in last.
āWow, itās really cramped in here with three people.ā
Tifa couldn't help but laugh when she saw Barret looking uncomfortable.
āDamn, you need to move out. Nobody should be living like this!ā
āIām going through some stuff.ā
"So, Barret, what did you need to talk about?"
"Yeah. About that." Barret plopped down on the floor and scratched his chin. "I'll say it plain and simple. Let me in Avalanche. You're my only hope. Take me to your leader. Elfe, right?"
Jessie sat down on the bed and, sure enough, began to stroke her own chin. Tifa leaned against the wall and listened in on their conversation.
āHmm.ā Jessie scratched her cheek, then at her side. āSimple for you, but not for me. But Iāll explain to you, so listen up.ā
Barret leaned over.
āSomething strange is going on with the mainstream Avalanche being led by Elfe. Their objectives arenāt clear. Thatās why some have distanced themselves and formed their own independent Avalanche. But each group is so smallāGroups of three, ten, maybe twenty at the most. Not enough to make even a blip on Shinraās radar. Thatās why weāre trying to get together. Take down Shinra, destroy the mako reactors, protect the Planet, gain autonomy for Midgar, and restore the Republic. See? We all have different goals. Tonight's meeting was supposed to bring us all together. But how could we get together, when itās not possible for even just the three of usāme, Biggs, Wedge?ā
āHuh?ā Barret raised his eyebrows.
āI want to stop the reactors. Bomb them or something. Biggs hates Shinra anyway. Heāll do whatever it takes as long as it gives them some trouble. But there are a lot of ordinary citizens whoāll get caught up in our mess too. Thatās why weāre still not ready yet. Wedge says heāll follow me and Biggs. Our hearts are all in it, but weāre just going in circles. If someone were to ask me at the meeting, 'Okay, so what does the Sector 7 Slums Chapterāthat's what we call ourselvesāfeel is your aim, and how are you going to achieve it?' I don't think I can answer that question.ā
"The point is you need someone who can take charge and be a leader, not just for you but Avalanche as a whole."
āYep. Thatās exactly what I mean.ā
āIāll do it. Yeah, Iāll do it.ā
āIf you say so,ā Jessie chuckled.
āYou wonāt know unless you make a move. What works, what doesnāt, or what kinda reaction youāre gonna get. You can fix problems as you keep on rolling. The worst thing you can do is to be too smart and overthink things. Let's get moving. Let me give you that push forward. Ride on my back. Who's in charge now? Jessie, is that you?ā
āNo. The Sector 7 Slums Chapter is ideologically equal. I love consensus decision-making.ā
āThat aināt working out to great, is it? So why not try changing that? Right?ā
āHmm. Tifa, what do you think?ā
āI think itās better to have more people on your side. Besides, itās good luck.ā
āYou canāt be serious?ā Jessie was taken aback. āBut, well, Barret does have that horsepower fueling his heart, doesnāt he? Barret, you have that driveāI mean, the ability to take a step forward. I think that's something we lack. Yeah. Things havenāt been working so far and that needs to change.ā
ā»
āThis was the beginning of our Avalanche. Biggs seemed to have a hard time with Barret at first, but he gradually got sucked into his pace too.ā
āA takeover?ā
āYou could say that. Barretās drive got the other groups involved and we grew bigger. But the more people there are, the more opinions going around, right? Barret couldnāt handle it and exploded. This happened several times, and each time, the Sector 7 Slums Chapter got smaller. The last time he went ballistic was the defection from HQ.ā
āSurprised you stuck with him.ā
āBecause, you know, we had a connection. That connection led me to meet you too, Red.ā
āHumph!ā Red XIII dexterously scratched behind his ears with his back foot. āSo, what happened to that guy?ā
āHmm? Him, who?ā
āRakesh. There's more to this story, isn't there? So what happened?ā
ā»
Time flew by quickly, and it was Wednesday again. Early in the morning, Tifa finished her daily shower and waited for Barret to arrive. They were to carry 160,000 gil together. The money was a deposit to become the owner of Seventh Heaven, so to speak. The debt left by Monty would be repaid in monthly installments.
After consultation, it was decided that Barret would take Tifa's advice and operate the store. To distance herself from Avalanche, Marle stayed away from the bar. However, she was more than ready to put in a word or two, and sometimes even get involved in matters. Tifa couldnāt understand why Marle had to stay away, but she guessed she had her own logic and reasoning.
Tifa would continue to sell at the Sector 8 Steamed Buns to pay off her debts. Once that was over, she planned to work full-time at the Seventh Heaven. The goal was to join them in two years. Until then, she planned on learning to make cocktails little by little.
āCome on, letās get moving,ā Barret said as he came to escort her. āHah! Know whatās funny? Last weekās gunfire caused damage to the Plate up top too, so theyāre toning down on the Avalanche hunting. This will make it a little easier for us to operate... Hey, Tifa, what's the matter?ā
She hadn't heard half of what Barret had said. The 160,000 gil was not in its usual place. The entire bag was missing!
āMy moneyās gone.ā
āHuh?ā
āI put it in a knapsack and hid it in here. It's gone!ā
She flipped over her clothes bin. Her underwear spilled out, but she didnāt care.
āNuna na na na.ā Barret let out strange, garbled noises.
āStop fooling around!ā
āWeāre talking 160,000 gil! Course Iād be sputtering! When was the last time you remember seeing the money?ā
āLast night. It was pretty late.ā
āSo it's gone todayāthis morning? You were in your room the whole time, weren't you?ā
āYeah. Waiting for you to... Oh! The shower!ā
Tifa rushed out of the container and hurried over to the shower room where Shower Guard was.
āDid anyone else come in while I was in the shower?ā
āYouāre asking me as if I can see your container from hereā¦ Oh, the gatekeeper came to take a shower. After he found out you were in there, he went right back out.ā
Tifa thanked her and ran over to where the gatekeeper usually sat. Barret joined her along the way.
āIāve searched your house. The moneyās not there.ā
āI think I know who did it.ā
The two ran through the slums in the early morning in pursuit of Rakesh, the acting gatekeeper. Their destination: Dr. Damini Orangeās clinic and Rakeshās home.
If they couldnāt find him there, they would go look for him at Mansonās base. They arrived, out of breath. A manās angry voice could be heard from inside the clinic, and then a woman screamed. Tifa reached for the door. It was unlocked. Noises could be heard from inside again. The sound of violence, of machines breaking, and of shattering glass.
āStop!ā Damini cried out.
āIāve got the money!ā It was Rakeshās voice.
Barret puts his thick forefinger to his lips. He probably wanted to see how things played out.
āOf course I'll take it. But you're a week late, arenāt you? If you're late, we'll have to make an example out of you, donāt we? Otherwise, you might think itās okay to walk all over me.ā
The voice was one she knew well. Tifa was both shocked and confused.
āNo, we wonāt think that! We know youāre a man to be feared!ā
āSo what have you been doing all week? Tell me.ā
But she couldnāt hear Rakeshās answer.
āIāll tell you what. I heard that you took the money your mother saved up to bet on the chocobos again. Money you were supposed to pay me back. Whadduya take me for, huh?ā
āI had solid insider tips that were definitely gonna pay off.ā
She heard the sound of more things breaking.
āPlease donāt break it. Please!ā Damini pleaded. āManson sir!ā
āNo way!ā Tifa panicked and tried to cover her mouth, but it was too late.
āWho the hellās there?ā
A small elderly man emerged from the back.
āTifaā¦ā
Uncle stood there, wearing his usual red top and bottom.
āUncleā¦ Youāre Manson?ā
Uncleās eyes swam in different directions, and his mouth flapped open and closed. He let out a deep sigh.
āWell, not much I can do. The truthās out now. Every Wednesday, I work this job.ā
āSo you were the one who had me bound by the Manson Rule?ā
āWait a minute. I don't know nothinā about that.ā
āBut Rakesh saidā¦ā
āThen take it up with him. Heās in the back blowing his nose.ā
Tifa was about to go towards the back when Rakesh emerged with swollen eyelids. It looked like he had just wiped off a fresh nosebleed. āManson sir. Please take this and go home for today. I know itās not enough.ā
Rakesh offered the knapsack to Uncleāto Manson.
āThat's my money!ā
āWeāll be taking that back!ā said Barret, knocking the knapsack from Rakeshās hand and pulling it towards him. āSecured!ā
āAgh!ā Rakesh moaned, as if it was his own money that was being stolen from him.
āI need an explanation, Rakesh. Or from you, Uncle.ā
āRakesh owes me a huge debt,ā Uncle began to explain in an annoyed tone. āDebts he racked up from gambling. In order to repay the money, they were charging a premium for the treatment here and making the patients pay for it. So many victims. Of course the mother was in on it too.ā
āHow much did my treatment really cost?ā
āA third of it. Iām really sorry,ā answered Damini from the back.
Tifa felt suffocated hearing her words. What did she mean, a third of it? She clutched at the leather bracelet on her left wrist. The cord snapped, unraveled, and fell to the floor.
āI mentored you so you wouldn't have to go to Wall Market, no matter how hard times got. Don't you agree?ā asked Rakesh.
āTifa, let's go. Stick around them any longer and youāll start to rot just like them,ā Barret spat out.
āI understand. But before we goāā Tifa held both fists in front of her face. She took a nice deep breath, and then slowly exhaled. The Book of Secrets, Volume 5, Number 1-1-1. A right-handed punch struck Rakesh Orange square in the jaw. He spun around and fell against the wall of the infirmary. Damini rushed over to him and cradled his head. Tifa didnāt feel a shred of guilt or remorse at seeing him like that.
āUncle.ā When Tifa addressed him, Uncle scratched his head. āSo you knew everything.ā
āYeah. But for me it was hard letting go of talent. I told you plenty of times, didnāt I? Youāre the best partner a man could ever have. Thatās why I got on board with Rakeshās plans.ā
āI loved working at the food stall. Even if I had a hard time, I could forget it if I concentrated on the steamed buns. It also taught me the joy of work. That's why it would have been better if you had hired me normally.ā
Uncle exhaled regretfully.
āI've been with the underworld for too long.ā
Tifa turned her attention to Damini. āIām all paid up, right?ā
āIāll manage the rest. Thanks for everything you did. No, Iām sorry.ā
āTifa.ā Rakesh wobbled to his feet. āThe truth is, I loved youā¦ā
The Book of Secrets, Vol. 5, No. 2-2-1. A kick to the side of the head.
ā»
āI felt better after that last kickā¦ Thank you for your time and attention. Yes, this is the end of the story of me and my gullible days.ā
āOh. So you're not like that now?ā
āI intend not to be.ā
Red XIII stared at her. Tifa returned his gaze.
āHow about Zangan?ā He readily changed the subject.
āI don't know. I have no idea. But the next time I see himā¦ā
āYou still haven't taken your Menkyo Kaiden yet.ā
āNope. Next time, Iāll go up against him using the Tifa-ryu. I'm a little angry at Sensei.ā
Red XIII cleared his throat. Was he laughing? The wind blew again. The meadow rippled.
āLet's go to the others.ā
As she stood up, the wind came. Tifa started to walk towards the wind.
Novel by Kazushige Nojima
Translated by Peko
Proofread by my good friend & most amazing person ever for sticking with me on such a long project, Eerie. Thank you a million times thank you!
A Clinical Analysis of Cloud's Psychology, Part III - Reintegration and Unconditional Love
This is the conclusion to my series on Cloud's psychology, where I will discuss identity reintegration. The original was posted on Reddit. You don't need to have read the other posts to understand this one, but it's highly encouraged so you can follow my overall train of thought. I'll still include a quick and dirty review of the important concepts from Part II that will be relevant here. To provide some background, I'm currently training in clinical diagnosis and psychotherapy to become a psychologist. I want to apply what I know to break down our understanding of Cloud in a clinical context.
Part I - Trauma, Dissociation, and Psychosis
Part II - Identity, Self-Concept, and Mako
Part III - Reintegration and Unconditional Love [you are here]
I find the term reintegration very fitting, considering that Cloud's recovery is portrayed by multiple Clouds coming back together again into one whole person. We've established how Cloud's sense of self was shattered through a combination of trauma, Jenova cells, mako poisoning, and his innate desire for strength. In the real world, he'd likely need therapy over his entire lifetime in order to reorganize his identity. But since this is Final Fantasy, Cloud has access to a special metaphysical experience. When Cloud and Tifa fell into the lifestream, he was able to literally pull Tifa into his subconscious and enable her to help organize his memories. I'm going to discuss how and why this works, as well as why Cloud needed Tifa specifically. I'm NOT trying to put a shipping angle on this, I'm just primarily interested in what it took for Cloud to heal, and it's impossible to ignore Tifa's importance in this case.
Quick Recap of Self-Concept
Self-concept, or your understanding of who you are, is made up of three main parts:
Ideal Self - Who you want or aspire to be
Real Self - Who you actually are
Self-Image - Your mental picture of yourself
A good self-image relies on congruence between the ideal self and the real self. Basically, the more similar they are, the better your self-esteem. If they are dissimilar, then it creates incongruence that reduces self-esteem.
Cloud's ideal self wants to be strong, but his real self never made SOLDIER, resulting in incongruence and low self-esteem for much of his life. After Zack's death, Cloud's ex-SOLDIER persona was born inspired by his ideal self, made to help him process his trauma. This boosted congruence but caused him to dissociate from his real self, leaving him vulnerable to manipulation.
The Importance of Tifa
The cornerstone of identity reintegration in the real world is relational support. Because the individual can't rely on himself to reorient who he is, he needs someone else that is able to do that for him, to contain his uncertainties. This often refers to the therapeutic relationship between a patient and his therapist, where the therapist's assurance provides support to the patient and helps him gain the confidence to safely explore his identity. It's clear that for Cloud, the person who helps him reorient his sense of self is Tifa. While Tifa serves the important role of helping Cloud clarify his memories, this alone isn't sufficient for reintegration, the same as how confronting people with the truth doesn't resolve their delusions. It's Cloud's relationship to Tifa that gave him a source of stability to ground him.
In Cloud's subconscious, Tifa helped Cloud remember key parts of his past that explain who he is in the present and why he knows the things that he does. In psychology, the subconscious contains information that isn't immediately part of a person's awareness, therefore this tells us that Cloud indeed still has his real self buried within him. One of the Clouds is different, a child version of him that is meant to represent his true feelings and therefore can be thought of as his real self. This child Cloud ends up explaining the roots of his identity, primarily his ideal self and how it came to be. Child Cloud explains to Tifa that the reason he wanted to join SOLDIER was because he failed to protect Tifa from falling at Mt. Nibel. This tells us that Tifa is at the root of Cloud's ideal self, something that I will keep emphasizing as the key to her importance.
Because Tifa is the root of his ideal self, she is also a massive determinant of Cloud's self-image. This is precisely why Tifa ended up being the final key to Cloud's breakdown at the Northern Crater. When a relational support is feeling anxious or overwhelmed, this spills over to the person relying on her. Prior to Cloud's disappearance after he gave Sephiroth the black materia, Tifa wasn't able to fully be there for Cloud because of her own confusion and apprehension towards Cloud's ex-SOLDIER persona. This only escalated when Sephiroth used her memories against Cloud, casting doubt on whether or not the Cloud she saw in front of her was Cloud from Nibelheim. Remember, the looking glass self draws self-esteem and self-image from how other people see the individual. When Cloud was unsure of who he was, he attempted to look to Tifa for reassurance, and in the moment she was unable to provide that.
Once they're in the lifestream, a large part of what Tifa did was help Cloud affirm that his memories are real. The spent a lot of their time in Cloud's subconscious comparing his memories to Tifa's. But, it was only when Cloud recalled memories that even Tifa couldn't recall that they truly began to make progress with Cloud's identity reintegration. Tifa didn't dig up Cloud's memories, but notably she prompted Cloud to recall why he wanted to join SOLDIER in the first place. Through this, Cloud was prompted to remember the failures that led to his enlistment. Cloud seemed hesitant to talk about his childhood memories related to this, but Tifa provided continuous encouragement as he walked through what happened. And, by recalling why he wanted to join SOLDIER, Cloud was reminded that he never lived up to that dream, directing them to reflect on the Nibelheim Incident again.
Unconditional Love
If we're trying to look at this from a psychology angle, I'd argue that confirming Cloud's memories isn't the most important thing Tifa did for him. The treatment modality that real world therapists use for identity reintegration is called unconditional positive regard, which is unconditional acceptance of a patient as he is. This is telling the patient, "I'm not here to judge you, I will see you and accept you for who you are." This is how the therapist helps the patient manage his fears and anxieties, creating the space for safely exploring his identity. But Tifa isn't Cloud's therapist, she's a dear friend who has a personal relationship with him. When talking about how loved ones help people experiencing identity problems, we say that their unconditional love is what supports the individual. This is why Cloud needed a loved one to be there with him in his subconscious, so that he could find the courage to explore it. Tifa's devotion in particular is so strong that she decided to stay with him in Mideel, when he was at his weakest. Cloud can easily find assurance that she is there to stay and that even when he is weak, she will still accept him. Also, it's worth mentioning that by allowing Tifa into his subconscious, Cloud is expressing unconditional love for her as well. He doesn't blame her for doubting him and still seeks comfort and reassurance from her.
Remember that Cloud's self-esteem is built upon his ability to protect those he cares about. However, Tifa's unconditional love allows him to reshape how his looking-glass self works. Crucially, she affirmed that Cloud did keep his promise, that he did protect her during the Nibelheim Incident. It's a fairly quick moment in the OG, but arguably one of the most important things Tifa says in the story. Cloud felt like he's been failing Tifa for years, but once Tifa tells him that he kept his promise after all, she is telling him that his real self is more congruent with his ideal self than he thinks. Remember, Tifa is at the root of Cloud's ideal self, which is why he cares so much about what she thinks. By providing affirmation, Tifa gave Cloud a means to reconceptualize his self-esteem in a more positive manner. Her unconditional love is also what gives him the courage to openly admit his facade to the rest of the party later on. There also, when Cloud explains how his ex-SOLDIER persona was an illusion, the party doesn't judge him or chastise him for it. They listen to him openly and accept him for who he is, providing unconditional love through their unyielding support for the main mission. This is another rather quick scene, but very necessary for Cloud nonetheless.
Tifa provided Cloud with unconditional love and affirmed congruence between his real self and ideal self. This positively affected his self-esteem and overall self-image, giving him a pathway back to accepting his true self and reintegrating it into his self-concept. It's very clever how the true retelling of the Nibelheim Incident manages to clear up their memories and provide Cloud with affirmation at the same time. I think this is why Cloud is able to reintegrate his identity so shortly after revealing that he was there at the Nibelheim Incident.
Final Thoughts
Something else that came to mind while thinking about Cloud's reintegration is the fact that mentally, he is still around 16 years old. Developmentally, Cloud is still in a period where he would be exploring who he is and looking to the people around him to affirm him. Self-esteem is important for everyone, but especially volatile during adolescence. Teenagers are especially sensitive to other people's opinions, which only highlights the fact that Cloud truly needed to hear affirmation and encouragement from someone else. Because of this, and because of the emotional growth that Cloud experiences, I'd argue that in some ways you could think of his character arc as a coming-of-age story.
Cloud's personal journey is my favorite part of FFVII, and it's amazing to me how well it fits in with real world psychological concepts. I believe that it will be largely preserved from the OG, with expansions to add depth and nuance to Cloud's experience. He's the hero that was never really meant to be a hero but ended up saving the world anyway, and one of my favorite characters in fiction. I hope that my analysis successfully conveys the deep appreciation I have for Cloud's character.
I also might do a similar analysis on Sephiroth eventually?
I noticed something that sort of ticks me off in Case of Tifa. After Cloud does a delivery for Elmyra to take a bouquet to Aerith's grave he starts staying away from Tifa and Marlene. But then after he finds Denzel and says that Aerith brought Denzel to him and decides to let him live with them and save him from geostigma, Cloud starts being back at home more often again. Did Cloud really start spending more time at home again just b/c of Aerith, and decided to save Denzel just b/c of her?
Hey anon.
The AC/CoT stuff seems to be a popular topic recently. I think itās good that people are watching ACC and reading the novels since I think itāll be important to understand both as Remake moves along. Theyāre pulling all pieces of the compilation into Remake, and the novels are no exception, since Leslie, Marle, and Kyrie have already made appearances.Ā
The delivery to the Forgotten City caused a old wound to be ripped open. The point of ACC is to show Cloudās guilt for letting (in his mind) Aerith die. They also tie in Zack since he also feels immense guilt and sadness over that. In CoT they only really say that Cloud does feel guilty because he feels like he couldnāt protect Aerith and prevent her from dying. I donāt think thatās romantic - he was supposed to be her bodyguard and we know from Cloudās history that he takes these things very seriously. He failed at preventing her from being killed, so he lives with that guilt.
Tifa also has a lot of guilt surrounding Aerithās death and the Sector 7 plate collapse. They mention her guilt a ton of times, and I find it interesting that itās not something thatās talked about often online. Itās always about Cloudās guilt.
Hereās something an anon wrote in that I think is a great summary:
Anon Ask/Statement on Cloudās Guilt
Tifaās first time at the Forgotten City, which is shortly after the first defeat of Sephiroth, causes her to break down. The one thing thatās interesting in CoT is Tifaās guilt slams her almost immediately, while Cloud is the one who seems to be holding it together to support her.Ā
We see that heās willing to try and help her be strong. At this point, Iām not sure if heās fully aware of the amount of guilt thatās settling within him. The point where it really seems to slam him is after he does the delivery for Elmyra. He has PTSD associated with the Forgotten City. I would assume anybody would. I would whether I knew a person closely or not if I saw them murdered in front of me. Especially if I attempted to kill them myself right before.Ā
Cloud also just generally has PTSD from everything else thatās happened to him. He lost his mother violently, his hometown was burned down, he watched the girl heās in love with almost die, he was experimented on for four years and then ultimately watched his best friend die in front of him. Heās got a lot of shit going on and now add a reminder of ANOTHER incident in his life, heās going to spiral.
Cloud also has a tendency to close in on himself. He doesnāt want to be a burden and heās scared of hurting those he loves. Itās very possible that during this point, he didnāt want to worry Tifa anymore than she already was. So he begins to avoid them. Tifa also is non-confrontational at this point so isnāt going to push him.Ā
For the Denzel piece: Cloud sees Denzel as a way to repent for his sins of letting Aerith and Zack die. He says Aerith sent Denzel to him not in a romantic sense, but (in his mind) as a way to be forgiven.Ā
Now, we know Aerith doesnāt blame Cloud for her death. She tells us that in AC. This is all in Cloudās mind that heās a failure and he causes all these issues. Heās very selfless, but ends up seeming selfish because he really does pretty much self implode.
Itās not the first time he does this, either. When Tifa falls from Mt. Nibel - he blames himself. He goes through this time when he just becomes and asshole and beats people up. This is the event that causes him to decide to become a SOLDIER. He wants to win Tifa over.
He never tells anybody why he wanted to join SOLDIER. They show that during the Lifestream when Tifa asks him why. It was a sudden decision to everyone around him. Most likely not to Cloud - because Cloud was in his head coming up with all of this stuff. Ultimately, he wanted Tifa to notice him. He wanted to win her over and prove he could protect her. That was his driving force behind joining SOLDIER.Ā
So now weāve covered this is just the way Cloud is. In Tifaās case, he already had a crush on her, so that just grew from there into this deep desire to win her over. In Aerithās case he didnāt have as strong of a connection to her - he didnāt know her as long - and he wasĀ ācontractedā to be her bodyguard. He takes these things seriously.Ā
Cloud and Tifa take Denzel in and Cloud becomes obsessed with finding a cure for Geostigma. We see the books and papers on his desk in Advent Children - so we know this is something he was really looking in to. I relate - I did the same thing when my dad had cancer. You can get into these moods and forget about everything else. Usually somebody has to try and slam you out of it, but itās hard.Ā
Tifa also sees Denzel as a way to retribution. She has a lot of guilt over what she did with Avalanche and the Sector 7 plate collapse. Denzel lost his parents in the Sector 7 plate collapse.Ā
Here is the conversation the two of them have that I think people take out of context. Cloud didnāt say Aerith brought Denzel to him for romantic reasons. He sees it as another chance to save a life. He tells us this - directly. Tifa feels the same was, as we see in the earlier excerpt. If anything, Aerith knew both Tifa and Cloud needed some help here with their inner turmoil.Ā
On top of it, Tifa feels that Denzelās arrival strengthened their family. I would think if this was an old flame thing happening, she may feel a bit differently. Cloud decided to cut back to spend more time with the children. This has nothing to do with Aerith. It is also mentioned on a previous page that the bar was starting to lose business because people started realizing a kid with Geostigma lived there. Cloud, Tifa, and Marlene never mention this to Denzel, and instead, they continue to embrace him as part of their family.Ā
Honestly itās pretty warm and fuzzy - even though all the darkness in this chapter - Tifa and Cloud are pretty good parents, especially since theyāre young and it was kind of thrown on them. Also, it wouldnāt really be nice if Cloud was likeĀ āhey Iām dropping another kid off for you to deal with while youāre working the bar and all.ā
As for the very last paragraph: We find out later that Cloud ends up with Geostigma and thatās why he left. It was the straw that broke the camelās back sort of thing. Not only was he failing at saving Denzel, but he also now had what he knew to be a terminal illness in many cases. He now feels he canāt do anything and he runs. He tells us this in AC.Ā
I donāt think Tifa imagined the promise - because things ultimately end up being okay. Cloud just really thought he was going to die and was going to fail her - being dead means he canāt fulfill his promise to her.Ā
Hereās an excerpt from Case of Denzel. He mentions Tifa, Cloud, and Marlene. Not just Cloud. He sees them all as his family. He also mentions all of the folks along the way. The bulk of Case of Denzel is him getting to the point of being found at the church. Itās not just about his time with Cloud and Tifa - itās Denzelās journey. Johnny is in this one a lot.Ā
Ultimately, I do have issues with the way Advent Children was handled outside of Japan. Without the novels, it does seem like Cloud is just a depressed mess. You donāt really know why heās a mess. You know he has Geostigma and you know he feels guilty. Some people took it as him pining for Aerith. Watching ACC and reading the novels, I didnāt get that at all. Many people became Cloti fans because of Advent Children. They were acting like a married couple going through a rough patch.Ā
They really do only mention his guilt in the novels and his issues with not being able to protect her. We do not have an officialĀ āCase of Cloudā so really can only go based on what the other characters are seeing with him and what heās told them. As Iāve said in previous posts, thereās not canon evidence that his feelings were romantic - especially post Lifestream.Ā
The novels were released AFTER Advent Children in the US and I donāt think it was very well known. Most of the people Iāve talked to that are casual fans never saw Advent Children as romantic for him and Aerith. Especially since Zack was around. The ending alone makes people laugh when they find out they think Cloud and Aerith had any romance - he calls herĀ āMomā - her boyfriend is there with her and theyāre acting like foster parents.Ā
I think with Remake, theyāll make things a bit more clear. I think ACC does a good job of making the guilt feel a bit more broad between Aerith and Zack. I wish it would have covered a bit more about Tifaās guilt like Case of Tifa does, and maybe it would seem less romantic, since they seem to be having the same inner turmoil.
I think if people fully played OG, played Crisis Core, read the novels, and then watched ACC, theyād realize this all comes together pretty clearly. Dirge of Cerberus doesnāt show too much of he full original gang, but you do get to see a much happier Cloud and Tifa in it. The phone conversation is cute and hilarious - especially since since Barret is being ridiculous and Tifa yells at him.
Aerith and Zack are a thing. Cloud and Tifa are a thing. Cloud and Tifa have some serious problems with dealing with what goes on in their heads and itās resolved by the end of Advent Children. Zack and Aerith give him that look at the end likeĀ āAlright, everything should be good now. Donāt disappoint us!āĀ
I also really do not think Cloud is going to pine after his best friendās girl. Cloud isnāt a douchebag. Heās a nice guy. He respects people. Zack was his one and only best friend. Zack saved his life. I really think if people would remember to pull Zack into these conversations, theyād realize that itās ridiculous to think that Cloud was after his dead best friendās dead girlfriend.Ā
Additional Reading:
Advent Children Anon AskĀ Ā (About Romance)
Cloud and Tifa Ask - Advent Children
Why Zack is Important to Cloud
The Future of the LTDĀ (This has a links to other blogs as well - so there is a variety of opinions here, including from a CA multishipper)
Letās Talk Aboutā¦ On the Way to a Smile: Case of Tifa and The Kids are Alright: A Turks Side Story
Yes, I couldnāt sleepā¦ again. Iāve gotten good at staying up two days at a time. Then sleeping and going back to it. I suppose itās the quarantineā¦ Which is only going to get worse it seemsā¦
In any case, I finally got to read Case of Tifaā¦ andā¦ if you came out of that thinking they werenāt a thingā¦ I donāt know what to tell you. I honestly went in to it expecting it to seem very ambiguous and very non-Cloti (in a sense).Ā
What struck me, first of all is the amount of guilt Tifa talks about having. Tifa seems to be just as bad as Cloud is, she just deals with it differently. Oddly enough, Cloud doesnāt show that much guilt immediately. Tifa is the one who is struggling with this major guilt initially.Ā
So letās start with some screenshots (pictures?) I took of excerpts I found interesting. Some Iām sure youāve seen before.Ā
Here we have Tifa talking about the guilt. She also feels insanely guilty for what happened to not only Aerith, but everything else that happened (Sector 7 Plate Drop/Avalanche). The other weird thing about thisā¦ and this is legit at the end of the OGā¦ she almost is convincing herself that she should stay alive. I found a lot of sadness in that. And itās not because of anything Cloud did. Noā¦ actually I think thatās what snaps her out of it.Ā
Of course we have a smiling Cloud. Youāre going to see Cloud smilesā¦ a lotā¦ and he laughs too, which I really hope they show him laughing because I donāt know what it sounds likeā¦Ā
Iām sure everyone has seen this. Itās the next page after Tifa calls Cloud out on his bright dork smile heās giving. I mean he fucking says he has her. And that he knows what that means.Ā
Iā¦ I donāt know how you canāt take this in a romantic sense. Maybe because the guy barely smiles so to me this is massive. Maybe because he had a hell of a time telling her anything down Under the Highwind. I donāt know. But this seems like something thatās profound to tell a person. Thatās the end of that section (teases - perfect moment for a kiss).Ā
I like theĀ āWhat about you? Are you okay?ā Strikes me as something we saw in Chapter 17 when you first get control of Tifa and Aerith, right?Ā āWhat about you, Tifa? How are you doing?ā
Tifa loses it, crying. Guilt, guilt, guilt. They talk more about Tifaās guilt than they do Cloudās guilt. Cloud comforts her here. Another profound thing at this point, butā¦ we are seeing him do this in Remake already. The hug is the major oneā¦Ā
But things like when he grabs her from having a crate fall on herā¦ he could have pulled her out of the way and let her go or pushed her (like Leslie does in the sewers). No, he holds on to her. She actually is the first one to let go here. (Look how cute they are PSPSPSPSPSPSPS)
So this whole part just cracks me up. For one, it shows that these three were busy doing stuff together and slept under the plate, even though it could collapse.Ā
I HOPE WE GET A GODDAMN VISUAL OF THIS. Barret making happy Cloud and Tifa drinks? LAUGHING THEIR ASSES OFF?!Ā Barret talking about his past?!
āThe other two [Cloud and Tifa] couldnāt remember the last time theyād laughed so much.āĀ
Letās be realā¦ probably when they were like 14 - maybe.Ā
Thereās also a part later down that I didnāt get where Barret makes fun of them for getting trashed during this night. I would kill to ALSO see that.Ā
Now there are moments as time goes on - mainly after the bar is open - where Tifa thinks about once the bar gets ready, is Cloud going to leaveā¦
This is where I think people take it as theyāre nothing. Tifa I think just has a very hard time accepting that not everything is going to be taken away from her. The impression I got from reading this is it was all in her head. Cloud himself gave no indication that he wanted to leave. (The Geostigma catalyst is later)
And hereās why I said I got no feeling that Cloud wanted to leave. (Oh hereās more about Tifaās guilt). Above this, Marlene says Cloud and Tifa can be her parents and the two look at each other. Cloud doesnāt look away. Cloud also says Awesome with conviction. Looks at Tifa almost to confirm itās okayā¦ but these two like to talk without words. I think he knew she was getting nervous, so this was his way of sayingĀ āSee? Iām not going anywhere?āĀ
Marlene gave him a nice little assist here so he didnāt have to say anything and Tifa didnāt have to ask.Ā
Tifa, I think, was already going through her major guilt turmoil - she had an immediate reaction to it. I think she knew, deep down, that Cloud eventually WOULD have this problem, and when she sees the slip from Elmyra for the Forgotten City, I think she knew that was the catalyst.Ā
āStop worrying about what they were to each other.ā Iāve seen a lot of jokes, mostly on Japanese Twitter posts, that Cloud assumed Tifa was his girlfriend. Like, he didnāt realize he needed to tell her that. I read a post about this somewhere too, that they got the impression Cloud (in the land of Cloudās mindā¦) got was that Tifa was his girlfriend and knew this. Iām not sure if itās because of Under the Highwind, I donāt know if itās because he pulled the same shit on her and talked to her while she was sleeping. I have no idea.Ā
To me, Cloud and Tifa donāt have to say theyāre boyfriend and girlfriend. It seems kind of funny after all theyāve been through. Theyāre almost like extensions of each other at this point.Ā
Okay so the above is from The Kids are Alright. Evan goes to see Tifa at the bar because he just saw Cloud and needs to get to Nibelheim. And Cloud tells him to talk to Tifa.Ā
I have to laugh about this Evan staring at chest lineā¦ lololol
Letās talk about how she describes Aerith.Ā āFriend doesnāt do her justice.ā
ā¦Did Tifa have romantic feelings for Aerith? Probably not (though weād all be fine with it because Aerti is adorable). @holysmotezā Made a very good post about how Aerith can be seen more as a holy/religious figure. I think Tifa saying this really does enforce that with me as well.Ā
Also this is the part where you find out thereās blackmail pictures of all three of them in the dresses: Cloud, Tifa, and Aerith.Ā
But I marked an interesting one -Ā āIāll be fine. And Iāve got Cloud, too.ā She sounded confident.
Now, I was blowing through this at this point. I will go back and do a normal reading of it, but after this, Kyrie and Evan go on a journey round the world it feels like. Thereās Nibelheim talk. They talk about some of the people who were killed during the Reunion and are found at the northern crater.Ā
And here is the end of The Kids are Alright.Ā
Cloud tells Evan that theyāre a family.Ā
This is AT THE END OF AC when the church is being utilized as a way to heal folks. On thing that also seems oddā¦ A lot of people were under the impression that Cloud disappeared for monthsā¦ but it was like a week. Tifa blows him a kissy kissy at the end of the movie, then apparently walks up with him and the kids to see Evan and Kyrie - very family like.Ā
I also did not get any jealousy vibes from Tifa and no Iām hiding this cuz Aerith feelings from Cloud.
The part where he tells her where he found Denzel felt more like he knew she was worried about him closing in on himself again (which he already was anyway), but her reaction didnāt come off as she felt jealous nor that she felt he was hiding it cuz feelings. She wanted to go cuz she wanted to go and be with him and maybe feel her friend (more than friend) there.
I got the same feeling as I did when he was taking extra jobs to get extra money for his bike. Like I should have told you I was there, and it wasnāt really planned. I think he was praying or whatever the equivalent would be. He was feeling guilty, going down a bad pathā¦ because he wasnāt just visiting the church in AC. He also was visiting Zackās grave. I mean, he let the Buster Sword rust to hell out there. (Angeal knows what you did, Cloud.)
So hereās how I feel after reading this, and now I do think that Remake is setting this up better.
Aerith is the same type of person to Cloud and Tifa. They both feel the same way about her. She feels the same way about them. Itās different than a simple friendship, but itās not romantic. Spiritual is a good way to describe this.Ā
There is the part where Aerith says Cloud was more than a friend, for she had loved him. By itself Iād say holy shit, wow, Aerith had romantic feelings for Cloud. After reading the rest of this, thinking of the OG, AC, CC, and Remake - yes, she loved him - but not like she loved Zack - she loved Cloud as a special person, not in a romantic sense. I think she almost felt like she had to protect him, because in this same part when she says she loved him, she also says she knows he has almost a delicate heart, but also needed to find a way to warn him about the shit about to go down.Ā
I think if you asked Aerith about Tifa, sheād say she loved Tifa too. I think OG didnāt do a good job of building up the Tifa and Aerith friendship to show exactly how important she really was to the whole thing, but time constraints, technology, whatever, a lot of games in the 90s suffered from this type of shit. Get the game out! Weāll figure out the rest laterā¦
This also does not talk about Cloudās feelings on Aerith. The only indicator we really get in this is that Cloud felt guilty that he could not protect Aerith.Ā
My guess is he told Tifa this at one point, probably during one of the conversations that she needed his help to stay strong. Thatās not romance. He felt obligated to protect her because he was supposed to be her bodyguard, but beyond that, he just protects people. He doesnāt have to be madly in love with them. Thereās a difference in how he reacts to her death and Tifaās simulated death. Cloud is able to function, fight Jenova, and carry her off to drop her off in the lake.Ā
Tifaās he completely starts to freak. We see what he does in Nibelheim and overtakes Sephiroth. I am not sure what would have happened if Sephiroth didnāt stab him and Tifa had died at that pointā¦ I really donāt know.Ā
In any case, you should go read these novels too. The Kids are Alright has Kyrie and Leslie in it. Evan Iām sure we will see at some point soon.
Donāt be afraid to read themā¦ I was because of shit information online, so I hope this puts you at ease.
Oh, Barret and Cid have a conversation about Cloud and Tifa being together tooā¦Ā
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